Jana Says

The year I made a difference

November 30, 2011 by Jana 29 Comments

Now that holiday season is in full swing, there’s no shortage of people asking for money. I’ve already discussed how I manage the holiday creep. But this story is a little different. This is a story about how I, along with 3 friends, changed Christmas for one family. We didn’t do it because we wanted anything in return. We didn’t do it because we felt overwhelmed with the holiday spirit. We didn’t do it because we needed a year-end tax break. No, we did it because this was a hardworking, kind family with 2 parents doing all they could to provide for their kids and Christmas wasn’t in the budget. There was no way we were going to allow this family to forgo Christmas. So we changed it.

First, a little background about the family. At this time, they were a married couple with 4 children (they’ve since added one more). For years, she was a stay at home mom and he worked in a hospital as an X-ray tech I believe. They owned a modest house in rural Indiana and were doing fine. Then he lost his job. The family had to obtain food stamps and Medicaid (if I remember correctly). They worked themselves into debt trying to pay bills on his new salary as a fast food worker. She gave up being a SAHM and went to work in a school cafeteria. The money was enough to keep them afloat but it didn’t leave a lot of room for extras.

She took to a money forum to learn how to control her spending, pay down debt and manage their finances. Watching her progress in her thought process and money management skills was incredible. She came so far in such a short time that it broke my heart reading the desperation in her words when she would talk about Christmas. She wanted to so much to provide for her kids but in her heart of hearts, she knew she couldn’t. Enter me.

Having been in a situation where I didn’t know how I was going to provide Christmas and/or Hanukkah gifts for my child, I couldn’t bear the thought of someone else being in that position. So I got the idea that I would adopt her family. Except I couldn’t do it myself. I enlisted 3 other women from our forum and together, the 4 of us adopted this family. Since there were 4 kids, we each became Santa’s little helper for 1 of them. And because the parents worked so damn hard, we gifted the couple with something. I also snuck a little gift for the mom into my package.

At first it seemed like it would be a daunting task. I wasn’t sure that the other women would agree to do it but sure enough, they did. Once I had the crew assembled, I contacted the mom to let her know what was going on. I didn’t want to insult her and I was so worried that I might. To my sheer delight, she was not only not insulted, she tried to convince me that they didn’t deserve it (guess who won that debate?). From there, we were able to collect a list of the children’s likes and interests and clothing sizes. We each used our own judgment and budget guidelines when selecting the gifts, and we tried to stagger the arrival of the packages so nothing seemed conspicuous to the kids (2 of them were roughly preteen age at the time).

To make sure that the parents didn’t feel totally left out, we made sure to leave all the gifts unwrapped. By letting them wrap the gifts, it gave them that sense that they could still do something for the kids (also, it let them preview the gifts so that they were not totally surprised and they could screen for anything they might not approve of). When she sent me the email that all of the packages had arrived, I breathed a sigh of relief that everything had gone smoothly and as planned.

The words of gratitude that I received after Christmas reinforced to me that not only had we done a good thing, but that we had picked a very deserving family. Working in the field that I work in, it’s easy to see families fail to appreciate what it done for them. They feel almost entitled to it. But not this family. To this day, she still feels that they weren’t deserving of what we did. Let me put that to rest. They were. They absolutely were. And she still tells me what a difference we made to their family that year and how that gesture continued to give them hope and reassurance that things were bound to get better.

I know what we did was not a grand gesture or elaborate or even that expensive. But knowing it made a difference to that family, even for just one year, was absolutely worth it. And, if given the chance, I’d do it all over again.

Money Tune Tuesday: I Will Buy You A New Life

November 29, 2011 by Jana 4 Comments

Years ago, my favorite radio station was Y100. It was an alt-rock station based out of Philadelphia and it was pretty much the only station that I listened to. It’s since been replaced with a format I don’t listen to but I have very strong, fond memories of that station.

One of the most vivid memories I have was a promotion they ran around the time Everclear’s I Will Buy You A New LIfe was popular. If you won the promotion, the station would pay for an apartment, a car, a cell phone, cable/internet and spending money for an entire year. It was a pretty amazing contest (which I did not enter because I have, and had, no desire to ever, ever live in Philadelphia). Every time I hear that song (which is today’s Money Tune, by the way), I think of that contest.

A few weeks ago, I watched a documentary “Waging A Living” which followed the lives of 4 working class people throughout the country. One of them, a newly divorced mom of 2 working as a waitress, was listening to the song on her car radio. She was singing the lyrics and I heard them in a new light. I had never before realized how profound and almost sad the lyrics actually are.

Listen for yourself:

These side hustles are not for me

November 28, 2011 by Jana 17 Comments

Many bloggers emphasize the importance of side hustles; J. Money of Budgets are Sexy even has an entire series devoted to them. Whether you’re earning the extra income to pay off debt or earning the extra income to be able to afford more of the things you like, there’s no denying the importance of a side hustle. Sometimes a side hustle can even turn into a career (just look at Crystal from Budgeting in the Fun Stuff, Sandy at Yes I Am Cheap and Andrea at So Over Debt). And while I agree with the importance of a side hustle–I’m hoping to be one of those that turns mine into a career–there are certain side hustles that I could never, ever do.

I don’t make that statement lightly. I’ve babysat, been a test proctor and written for a content farm. I’ve even been an online instructor for years! I have no problem working a small side job to make extra money. But I still reserve the right to be a little picky about how I choose to earn that money. With that said, here are some side hustles I will never do (unless I am literally starving, my child is wearing clothes that are 3 sizes too small and we’re about to live in my car):

A clown. Let’s not even discuss how creepy clowns are. Actually, let’s discuss how creepy they are. Can you think of anything that’s really more frightening than a grown man or woman dressed up like a clown? I can’t. Also, there is nothing amusing about a clown. They are weird, unfunny, and bizarre. No one really likes clowns; they just pretend to because they don’t want to hurt the clown’s feelings. Now, I realize that people go to school to do this for a living; more power to them. But there is a big difference between a professional circus clown and Flippy the Suburban Birthday Party Clown
An elf. With this being the holiday season at all, malls across America are abundant with Santas and his little elves. I, for one, could not do this. For starters, I look terrible in tights. Second, pointy hats with little bells on them? Also not my thing. But the real reason I could not do this is the fact that I get very grouchy with bitchy people. These people are even more abundant than Santas. I would get promptly fired for opening my mouth. Additionally, every time I think of a mall elf, I think of those evil people in A Christmas Story. I don’t want to do that.
The person who walks behind parade horses, picking up their poop. I hate horses. I hate poop. This job would be one of the worst things I could ever be required to do. It would be akin to a prison sentence. I would not do it voluntarily. I would not do it for a million dollars. I would not do it if it meant that Bradley Cooper and Jason Segel would move into my house and be my slaves. OK. Maybe I’d do it then.
A fluffer. The fact that I know what that is says a whole lot about me, I think. I’m not exactly proud that I’m aware of this particular form of employment but I tell myself that it’s just a side effect of dating someone who lived in a fraternity house for 3 years. Anyway, if you don’t know what a fluffer is, it is the person who keeps the male talent on an adult film set…ready for his performance in between takes. I find this to be both degrading and disgusting. I pray that I’m never desperate enough to have to do this.

I’m sure if I thought about it, there are other side hustles that I couldn’t, or wouldn’t, do unless I was desperate. Like really, really desperate. But these are at the top of that list.

Are there any side hustles you couldn’t do?

Care Bears: The Exiled Bears edition

November 25, 2011 by Jana 6 Comments

This is a post originally published on my food blog, The Empty Kitchen. On another note, I’m thinking of resurrecting that blog. What do you think?

My daughter has recently discovered the Care Bears. I couldn’t be happier. I love the Care Bears! They’re cute, come in multiple colors, and one of them has a cupcake as his tummy symbol!

: Not as sweet as they seem

Unfortunately, my brain has gone where it shouldn’t go. While reading the books and watching the DVDs, I could not help but start to think of all the poor, rejected Care Bears that so very badly want to live in Care-a-Lot but the Care Bears, wanting to keep the seedy element in another part of town and having a lengthy list of rules for acceptable Care Bear behavior, have exiled these wannabes to neighboring island of the Land of Misfit Toys:

Convict Bear–the local criminal element. The original exiled Care Bear. Known for assaulting others with unwanted Care Bear stares and stealing clouds. He is black and white striped and his tummy sign is jail bars.

Porn Star Bear and her cousin, Stripper Bear–exiled for corrupting the minds and bodies of the male (and some female) Care Bears and violating the morality clause in the home owners association of Care-a-Lot. Porn Star bear is off-white and her tummy symbol is a bed; Stripper Bear is gold and her tummy symbol is (obviously) a pole.

Glam Bear–a true 80s throwback, Glam Bear loves hair band music, especially Poison and Motley Crüe. Known for driving an unnecessarily flashy car, he was exiled for dress code violations, specifically wearing spandex and way too much eyeliner. Glam Bear is blue with black zebra strips and his tummy symbol is star-shaped sunglasses.

Mullet Bear–Glam Bear’s sworn enemy. He was also exiled for dress code violations, except he prefers sleeveless flannel shirts and rocking a really awful Dee Snider mullet. Mullet Bear is mud brown and his tummy symbol is a Trans Am.

Spinster Bear–lives alone in a dark, creepy house surrounded by 1400 cats. She was exiled for never marrying or having Care Bear offspring, an essential tenet of the Care Bear Code. She is gray and her tummy symbol is a cat.

Jersey Bear–idolizes Snooki (an exileable offense in its own right). In fact, she looks like Snooki. She was exiled, like Glam Bear and Mullet Bear, for dress code violations. Instead of a regulation tuft of hair, Jersey Bear has coiffed her hair into a poof. She was originally beige but after applying way too much tanner, she is now more of an orange. Her tummy symbol is the state of New Jersey.

Smart Ass Bear–exiled for violating the cheery and sweet manner in which Care Bears are required to speak. Loves the Michael Scott phrase “That’s what she said”. Smart Ass Bear is red and his tummy symbol is a set of rolling eyes.

Midlife Crisis Bear–this poor guy was living the perfect Care Bear life until one day, he realized that he wanted a younger Care Bear wife, a sports car and his hair was falling out. He started frequenting Stripper Bear’s workplace and was exiled for violating the Care Bear morality clause, as well as the penguin clause stating that each Care Bear will mate with only one other Care Bear. Midlife Crisis Bear is light gray, has a comb-over, and his tummy symbol is a Porsche.

Thrifty Bear–the only bear to be exiled for his financial status. Thrifty Bear loves a good bargain, manages his money and is completely debt free. This made the other Care Bears jealous and they threw him out. He has appealed the sentence and is currently awaiting his reinstatement hearing. Thrifty Bear is green and his tummy symbol is a dollar sign intertwined with a coupon.

Those are the names of the exiled Care Bears that the President of Care-a-Lot will make public. I have submitted a FOIA request for the others.

The one thing that struck me was how often they were exiled for dress code violations. Kind of strange for a bunch of bears that walk around naked…

Amidst my complaining, I’m still thankful

November 24, 2011 by Jana 2 Comments

I have noticed that lately I’ve been complaining a lot. I mean A LOT. Sure, there are lots of things in my life to complain about but in the grand scheme of things, I really just sound like a spoiled brat. Since today is Thanksgiving, I’m going to take 10 of those things I’ve been complaining about and find something about them to be grateful for.

Here goes.

Even though I complain about laundry, I am thankful that I have the ability to wash my clothes. I am also thankful that I have, and can provide for my child, clean, seasonally appropriate clothes.

Even though I complain about food shopping, I am thankful that I have the money to buy food every week.

Even though I complain about my job, I am thankful that I have a decent paying job, with benefits, that allows me enough freedom to also pursue blogging.

Even though I complain about paying bills, I am thankful that I have enough income where I can pay all of my bills without having to pick and choose.

Even though I complain about the cost of gas, I am thankful that I can afford to put gas in my car.

Even though I complain that my daughter talks way too much, I am thankful that a) she has the ability to talk; b) she wants to talk to me; and c) I get to hear her talk every day.

Even though I complain that I have too much to do, I am thankful that I have the physical and mental capability to accomplish all of those tasks.

Even though I complain about my house and keeping it clean, I am thankful that I have house that is warm, safe, and (reasonably) clean.

Even though I complain about the fact that there are too many books I want to read and not enough time to read them, I am thankful for the fact that I am literate and that my parents instilled in me a love of books.

Even though I complain that I feel like an outcast, I am thankful that that there are a handful of people that accept me, almost unconditionally, for all of my weirdness and idiosyncracies.

Happy Thanksgiving to you, my dear and wonderful readers! What are some things that you are thankful for today?