What Is Your Life Story?

This is a guest post from my friend Benjamin Feldman, a Writer and Content Strategist for ReadyForZero. He writes about saving money and getting out of debt at the ReadyForZero blog. You can find him on Twitter @BWFeldman.

It was Fall of 2010, and I was restless. You can picture me sitting at my desk in front of a 14-inch computer monitor, staring at the screen. I don’t remember whether I was looking at an e-mail, a Legislative Bill Summary, a Committee Briefing, or a Floor Vote Tally. All I remember is that I knew something was wrong.

I was sitting inside my office, inside the Assembly wing, inside the California State Capitol Building in downtown Sacramento.

Up to that point, my life story was something like this: I had worked hard in high school to get accepted into college; when I got to college I became very interested in my Government and Public Policy classes and decided to choose that as my major. After graduating from college (and two years of grad school) I was able to get a job as a Legislative Assistant in the Capitol, working for a great Assembly member.

In many ways it was a dream come true. I felt very grateful. But why, then after two years working there did I feel like something was wrong?

Your Story Shapes Your Direction

The truth is, whatever life story you believe you’re living will shape the decisions you make and where you choose to go. It will also determine whether you feel happy with your current situation. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. But it’s important to recognize this so you can shape it in a positive way.

This is as relevant to your financial life as it is to any other aspect of your life. No matter what, we are constantly telling ourselves a story in our heads – essentially, we’re narrating our own lives. We might say “Now that I have my degree, it’s time to get a job my family will respect,” or “Now that I have a job, I need to buy all the things that successful people have.”

There are an infinite number of life stories we can tell ourselves. Some are positive; some are negative; and some are fuzzy.

I believe that training yourself to make your life story a positive and clear one is something that can help you find your true state of happiness. By proactively cultivating your life story, you can make it more likely that you get to a place that is fulfilling (in work, in love, in life, in finances, etc.).

Change Your Story to Get to a Better Place

In my case, as I walked home after work that day, I realized that even though my life story seemed to indicate that this job was perfect for me, it wasn’t.

But why not?

Well, for whatever reason it was not bringing out my passion. And as I thought about it more and more, I began to understand: I craved a different kind of work. I wanted to create something on a daily basis. I wanted to see the product of my work somewhere tangible. I wanted to use language and imagination more. I wanted to write.

After this understanding took hold, it immediately began to reshape the life story I was telling myself in my head. No longer was I continuing to repeat the story about my interest in government, which led to my two degrees, which led to my ‘dream job,’ which… was the end of the story. No! Instead, I was now starting to tell a new story.

The new story started with my love of writing (since high school) and continued through my education and government job (where I refined my writing ability) and ended… Well, it didn’t have an ending yet – and that was the best part!

Once I had the new story, I was suddenly much more positive and was ready to figure out how to reach the next step in my journey.

This can happen for you too – no matter if you are looking to improve your career story, your financial story, your love story, or any other story.

Start by reflecting on what your current story says and then figure out what aspects of the story are not working. If your current story leads you to spend money that you don’t have, identify what it is that is motivating that behavior. Then start changing the story to one that affirms and promotes the new direction you want to take.

When you start changing your story, you will hopefully see new ideas and new opportunities arise. Follow those and you will no doubt arrive at a more fulfilling and enjoyable place. After changing my own story I actively started looking for new jobs that would allow me to write. It took some time and some persistence, but I eventually happened upon a job listing for a Writer and Content Strategist. I was fortunate to get the job, and now I’m writing blog posts for a company that is helping people pay off their debt. I’m very thankful for how things turned out.

I hope my story may help you too! Let me know in the comments if you have had an experience like this yourself or if you have a question about my story.