Many bloggers emphasize the importance of side hustles; J. Money of Budgets are Sexy even has an entire series devoted to them. Whether you’re earning the extra income to pay off debt or earning the extra income to be able to afford more of the things you like, there’s no denying the importance of a side hustle. Sometimes a side hustle can even turn into a career (just look at Crystal from Budgeting in the Fun Stuff, Sandy at Yes I Am Cheap and Andrea at So Over Debt). And while I agree with the importance of a side hustle–I’m hoping to be one of those that turns mine into a career–there are certain side hustles that I could never, ever do.
I don’t make that statement lightly. I’ve babysat, been a test proctor and written for a content farm. I’ve even been an online instructor for years! I have no problem working a small side job to make extra money. But I still reserve the right to be a little picky about how I choose to earn that money. With that said, here are some side hustles I will never do (unless I am literally starving, my child is wearing clothes that are 3 sizes too small and we’re about to live in my car):
- A clown. Let’s not even discuss how creepy clowns are. Actually, let’s discuss how creepy they are. Can you think of anything that’s really more frightening than a grown man or woman dressed up like a clown? I can’t. Also, there is nothing amusing about a clown. They are weird, unfunny, and bizarre. No one really likes clowns; they just pretend to because they don’t want to hurt the clown’s feelings. Now, I realize that people go to school to do this for a living; more power to them. But there is a big difference between a professional circus clown and Flippy the Suburban Birthday Party Clown
- An elf. With this being the holiday season at all, malls across America are abundant with Santas and his little elves. I, for one, could not do this. For starters, I look terrible in tights. Second, pointy hats with little bells on them? Also not my thing. But the real reason I could not do this is the fact that I get very grouchy with bitchy people. These people are even more abundant than Santas. I would get promptly fired for opening my mouth. Additionally, every time I think of a mall elf, I think of those evil people in A Christmas Story. I don’t want to do that.
- The person who walks behind parade horses, picking up their poop. I hate horses. I hate poop. This job would be one of the worst things I could ever be required to do. It would be akin to a prison sentence. I would not do it voluntarily. I would not do it for a million dollars. I would not do it if it meant that Bradley Cooper and Jason Segel would move into my house and be my slaves. OK. Maybe I’d do it then.
- A fluffer. The fact that I know what that is says a whole lot about me, I think. I’m not exactly proud that I’m aware of this particular form of employment but I tell myself that it’s just a side effect of dating someone who lived in a fraternity house for 3 years. Anyway, if you don’t know what a fluffer is, it is the person who keeps the male talent on an adult film set…ready for his performance in between takes. I find this to be both degrading and disgusting. I pray that I’m never desperate enough to have to do this.
I’m sure if I thought about it, there are other side hustles that I couldn’t, or wouldn’t, do unless I was desperate. Like really, really desperate. But these are at the top of that list.
Are there any side hustles you couldn’t do?
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Hilarious post to start Monday morning. As long as you never add ‘blogging’ to the list, I think you’re doing alright. Keep up the fun stuff!
Money Beagle recently posted…Restaurant.Com (Or Participating Resturants) Reduces Portion Sizes On Some Deals
Thanks! And I certainly will try!
I have to say, none of those side hustles sound terribly appealing. I had no idea what a ‘fluffier’ was, lol. Interesting. Not something I would ever, ever do.
I do think if you can turn what you love into a side hustle or even full time hustle, that is awesome. But it is best to stick to what you love or are good at, not side hustles you hate. 🙂 I couldn’t do horse parade duty either!
Kylie Ofiu recently posted…Make Money With Australian Banks
Kylie, you’re definitely one of those I admire. You not only turned it into a full-time job, you’ve published 2 books! That is a heck of hustle!
Hmmmm, the older I get the more a “fluffer” might help. I think my wife would probably prefer a prescription fluffer though…..
Dr Dean recently posted…Best In Nurse Blogs: Thanksgiving ER Visit Edition!
I’m not really sure how to respond to that, Dr. Dean…
Honestly, I could never work food service- be it fast food or a sit down restaurant, cashier/hostess/waitress, etc. I could clean up after the horses (I love horses, and horse manure is actually pretty easy to pick up), but please don’t ask me to hand food to anyone who isn’t dining in my house.
shanendoah@the dog ate my wallet recently posted…Sunday Evening Post #18
I’ve never done food service but it seems like hard work. However, given the choice between serving food to strangers or going near a horse, I’m serving food!
Great post for getting back to work. I must admit that I have a friend who is borderline obsessed with calling people a fluffer, so obviously i’m familiar with the term.
Jeff @ Sustainable Life Blog recently posted…CSA Update #5
Thanks, Jeff! How exactly does one fit calling someone a fluffer into a conversation?
I found out what a fluffer was while trying to do the math on the logistics of a “group” film.
What exactly do those numbers look like? I’m honestly curious.
So, you won’t be the fluffer, but you say nothing about being “the talent????” What’s a reader to think?
Travis @DebtChronicles recently posted…Blog Reboot
A reader is to think that I have no talent 🙂
Wow, I have never heard of a fluffer. I learn something new everyday. 🙂
Also I had a friend who was the pooper scooper for parades and stuff. It’s because he got into legal trouble and had to do community service. So hopefully you will never be in that situation. Lol
Carrie – Careful Cents recently posted…It’s Shopping Season! Wait, It’s Hunting Season Too
I’m glad I could teach you something new 🙂
Picking up horse poop would make me never do anything wrong ever again. That? Is punishment!