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It’s my life

September 8, 2014 by Jana 24 Comments

(If you sing the title like the Bon Jovi song, it's way better)

I've told you guys before that I am not above ~~stealing~~ borrowing a good idea. And after I saw these types of posts from Kenzie and Liz, I figured, hey? Why not do one of these for myself? Admittedly, I am not as interesting as those ladies, and pretty much every day looks the same for me (weekends, too, which is why I never do weekend recaps. I could write one and then just recycle it every Monday. Easy writing for me. Boring reading for you) but I thought it might be fun to answer the question “what exactly it is you do here?”

It's pretty simple.

First, my alarm goes off at 6:15. I check the phone repeatedly to make sure it's not a mistake and then lay in bed while my husband storms the bathroom first. I figure since he leaves the house to go to work, I can graciously give him a 5 minute head start on the day. He finishes whatever it is he does in there, I move a dog out of the way, and get up.

Then I get dressed, hopefully remember to put on deodorant, walk down to the living room and do this:

I want to hate Shawn T. Yet, I don't. So starting my day with him isn't so bad and I know my workout is done for the day and that's nice. Then, while still dripping with sweat, I go to my kitchen, grab a quick breakfast and pack my child's lunch. Then, I brave her room, stepping over mountains of whatever she had been playing with the night before because cleaning up requests are laughed at and ignored, and wake her up. She usually looks pretty comfortable but I don't want to go to jail for not sending her to school so I rouse her anyway.

I then spend the next hour fighting with my child, trying to make her understand that school does not, in fact, start when she wants it to but has an actual predetermined start time and we have to be there for it. I sometimes think a cattle prod would help but then think, better not. So I settle for ~~yelling~~ encouraging her loudly and emphatically.

We make it to school, I drop her off, run any errands I might have, then come home to my bunker. That's what I call my office. I spend the next 5-6 hours ~~reading the internet~~ working and alternately thinking what I do is amazing and worth the effort or hating myself for even trying and questioning every decision I make.

It's where the magic happens. And by magic, I mean self doubt.

I eat sometime during those hours, let the dogs out in the backyard so I can get my required yard time, and think about doing laundry or cleaning my house. Those last two almost never happen.

Around 3:00, I do a quick clean up of my kitchen, put the dogs on their leashes for a short walk, and we all pile into the car to get my daughter from school.

We get to the school and, depending on the day, can wait anywhere from 10-20 minutes (30 on a really bad day) to retrieve my daughter. The parent pickup line is a special kind of hell and I do it because it is actually easier than fighting with her to get on the bus, which she hates and is terrified of. And, since I know you're wondering, this is the view from the line. I think I was particularly close up that day.

We get home, she has a snack and watches some TV, I somehow manage to get things done but I can't tell you what because the hour between when we get home and I start making dinner is a time warp and the hour disappears. Since this is the third time I've mentioned eating, here's my kitchen. The amount of time I spend in here really is ridiculous.

We don't really have a set time for dinner because 3 nights a week (and one weekend morning/afternoon), we go here for cheer practice. The gym is up a very long, poorly paved driveway and through a gravelly, dusty parking lot. But isn't the entrance pretty?

After cheer, I wage another battle to get her in bed by a reasonable bedtime since waking her in the morning takes more patience than I have, especially if she's tired, but she takes 87 minute showers. It's a fine line between wanting her to enjoy showering and telling her to hurry the fuck up. After she's sufficiently clean and her bathroom is sufficiently flooded, we have storytime and finally, she's in bed.

Once she's asleep, I get to enjoy adult TV time. That is either exceptionally pleasant or exceptionally unpleasant, depending on the day of the week as my husband and I don't always agree on what constitutes good TV. We do agree occasionally and that's nice. Depending on the day, we shut the TV off at either 10 or 11, walk the dogs a final time, and go to bed. I typically read for about 20 minutes before I can fall asleep (sometimes longer if it's a good book). When I'm done reading, I shuffle the dogs around so I can get comfortable enough to sleep. Then I do.

Quick note: in my house, it's a race to fall asleep first because my husband snores and if I have to listen to it while I am trying to sleep, I get ragey and want to smother him. Smothering is illegal so I settle for a subtle jab in the arm and an angry “stop snoring!” It usually works and we all sleep well after that.

And that, my friends, is my exciting life. I suppose it could be worse.

What does your average day look like? Would you like to join me in a share your space linkup where we take pictures of our desks and talk about what's on it and why?

5 reasons to enjoy Mondays

August 18, 2014 by Jana 12 Comments

In an effort to rewire the way I approach parts of my life, and taking a cue from some of the suggestions in my cousin’s book, I have decided to stop hating Mondays. Well, fine, if I’m being honest, I don’t know that it’s entirely possible to fully stop hating Monday, but I’m also choosing to think about the parts of Monday that don’t suck.

It’s not a perfect system but it seems to be working thus far.

I’ll also admit that at first, I struggled with coming up with what I enjoy about Mondays since it’s so ingrained not to like the day but as I sat and contemplated, and started writing a few ideas down, the rest followed fairly quickly.

Here are my top 5.

It’s back to a routine. Because of my anxiety issues, I function better with a schedule. I’m not a very spontaneous person, I never have been, and I like my routines. Weekends throw those all off, especially when cheer is involved. With the return of Monday, I can fall back into my regularly scheduled programming and it comforts me. I feel relieved. I can get shit done.
It’s a time to reflect on the fruits of my weekend labor. For instance, I try to do as much cleaning and laundry and cooking as possible on the weekends since the weekdays don’t leave tons of room for those necessary activities. When Monday rolls around and I don’t have to do them, I can fully appreciate taking and making the time on the weekend to do it.
It’s a reset for my weekly goals. Every Sunday night, I sit down and process how I did on my goals from the week before. If there were a couple I didn’t rock, Monday means a fresh start and a chance to work even harder to accomplish them. It also means I establishing new goals for the upcoming week, which is always great and keeps me focused.
It’s less time to things I look forward to. Like new episodes of Sons of Anarchy. Or my mastermind calls. Or payday. And, although I don’t watch it, Monday Night Football, because my husband does watch it and it’s a chance to all asleep before he even gets in bed. Or thinks about getting in bed.
It’s a chance to rejoin the world. Since we spend so much time on football fields and in gyms on the weekends, or traveling to visit family, I don’t get much time to check in with friends and blogs or social media or even the news that CNN doesn’t deliver to my phone in headline form. When Monday rolls around, it’s a chance to catch up and get reconnected.

I will say this: it is easier for me to love Mondays since I left a job that was poisoning me. Make no mistake, I had a great boss and coworkers, had lots of autonomy, and didn’t have a huge commute. I was grateful for the employment. However. The subject matter became unbearable and I simply couldn’t do it anymore. And I’d rather live on a tight budget than have a toxic job.

Putting this positive spin on Mondays has definitely adjusted my attitude and my thinking towards the day and rather than dreading it, I now embrace it.

Which is kind of weird.

But I like it.

It’s been 6 weeks: My (somewhat) triumphant return

January 3, 2014 by Jana 9 Comments

In case you haven’t noticed, my posting has kind of taken a break over the last 6 weeks. I’m not apologizing for it, because it was necessary, but I figured maybe you’d like to know what’s been going on. So here goes.

The last 6 weeks have been pretty big for me. For starters, I found out that my mentoring program, Bloggers Helping Bloggers, is going to be part of FinCon14 and a bigger part at that. I can’t reveal too much right now but I’m ridiculously excited and honored that Phil thinks enough of what I do to ask me back this year. Also, the conference is in New Orleans. I’ve never been there. And I. Can’t. Wait.

Speaking of my mentoring program, I’ve also been working on some huge changes for that. This year, particularly the next few months, it’s getting a major facelift. The site is being renovated, we’re changing the name to Blog Mentoring Network because it will represent more of what we do which will also include a blogger training class AND podcaster mentoring. The training class launches in February with registration starting next week. I’ve been working like a crazy person getting that ready, as well as some new, fun freebies and services we’re adding to the program. Those will be ready when we have our new site unveiling in March.

So there’s been that.

too much to do — For more hilarious gems like that, make sure you’re following me on Pinterest. Link in the sidebar.

Let’s see, what else have I been up to? Right. I’ve been battling a depressive episode and that kind of sucks my ability and desire to do anything that I don’t have to and has been drowned in compulsive pinning, online Amazon shopping, naps, yoga pants, and binge watching Prison Break and Justified (anyone else watch this show? I love it!). The last week or so has gotten better and I’m finally able to do things that are not sitting on my couch. Or at least, things that are sitting on my couch but are productive.

For instance, I’ve decided to do an Instagram project this year. Every day, I’ll be posting a meaningful song lyric, handwritten in whatever pen I can find on whatever paper I can find. I’m doing this for a number of reasons, the least of which is making myself do something, no matter how small, creative every day for an entire year. You can follow along by finding me on Instagram (@saysjana).

I’m also putting the finishing touches on the site for my pioneer project. That should go live by the end of the month. You’ll be able to follow along with the project on the site, Instagram and Pinterest. It’ll be a combination of blog posts and craft/DIY ideas that I try and it’s probably the most ambitious undertaking of my life. So very pioneer-like, right?

And finally, I’ve spent the last 6 weeks being a very overachieving mom. My daughter and I have done a number of crafts, all found on Pinterest, during the holidays. Craftiness is not something that comes easy to me but the child loves them so I’m putting forth tons of effort for her. Maybe more than I needed to. Because in addition to puzzles (big ones), we made gumdrop fudge (it’s disgusting), reindeer cookies, elf donuts, grew a candy cane garden, decorated ice cream cone Christmas trees, had a Zumba birthday party, and the tooth fairy had to make 2 visits. I’ve also been organizing my sewing supplies for the pioneer project.

Of concern: I have a ridiculous amount of yarn for someone who cannot knit or crochet. I need to get this under control. Stat.

For those who are wondering, I did also set goals for 2014. I’m not going to share them because really, they’re boring to everyone who’s not me. But this year more than others, I’m confident in my ability to achieve them. I’ve put the proper mechanisms in place to achieve them. That includes making them big and audacious but also realistic. This is the first time in a long time that I have not set myself up to fail. Which is a huge victory. And I’m proud of that.

I don’t plan on taking another long break anytime soon, and I’m stoked for what I have coming up this month on all my projects. I hope you’ll follow along (if you plan on doing the song lyric project, please use #profoundlyrics).

Now you all know where I’ve been. How about you guys? What have you been up to? Any projects or ventures you’d like to share?

Life lessons from the Emmy awards. And cupcakes!

September 23, 2013 by Jana 9 Comments

Last night, just like we do every year, my husband and I watched the Emmys (well, this year we took a break in the middle to watch Breaking Bad. Breaking Bad > Emmys). And, just like we do every year, my husband and I bet on who would win awards. Although this year, since our printer still isn’t hooked up and the app I downloaded sucked, my husband hand wrote the ballot and we made our selections with a highlighter. The fun part about that was the fact that my husband has atrocious handwriting and is careless with his spelling so when I was making my picks, I had to ask him who Juan Baton and Jom Parsnip were (Jason Bateman and Jim Parsons, respectively).

But that’s besides the point.

Also besides the point but something I need to share is that I won our bet. We don’t bet money, either. We bet something way more important. Crumbs cupcakes. If you’ve never had a Crumbs cupcake, send me your address and I’ll have one mailed to you because the cupcakes are amazing and the company does that kind of stuff. I assure you that once you have one, you’ll understand why our bet was so serious. And why it’s such a big deal that I won.

Jana’s note: Please do not actually send me your address. I’m pretty disorganized when it comes to that stuff and I don’t want to misplace your information that would be on my list of people to whom I need to send Crumbs cupcakes and have the list picked up by an actual serial killer and then he comes to your house because he, too, wants a cupcake and then it’s my fault if something happens to you. I don’t want something to happen to you. Or for it to be my fault.

I think this post is getting away from me a little bit.

Let’s circle back.

Last night, my husband and I watched the Emmys. And just like 2 years ago (go easy on me with that post, please. It was written not long after I started blogging and really, I kind of sucked as a writer and blogger back then. I’m only slightly better now), I learned some things from watching the show that were completely unexpected and important lessons we can apply to our own lives:

Brevity. Last night, one of the winner’s made this speech: “I gotta go. Bye”. Social media erupted, praising Merritt Weaver for her amazing speech because really, there was nothing else to say. Her speech captured the moment perfectly. It was short and to the poing. Not so much sweet, but short and to the point. What we can learn: sometimes, saying just a few words has more impact than droning on for minutes or hours. How many times have you sat in a meeting and your boss or co-worker just kept talking and talking and lost her audience? How many times have you read an email that was just so long winded your eyes glazed over halfway through and you forgot what you read in the beginning? Probably too many to count. So, the next time you’re in a position to communicate something important, remember that brevity and conciseness go a long way.
You won’t always impress everyone. Neil Patrick Harris hosted this year’s show and after seeing what he did with the Tonys that one year I watched because American Idiot was nominated and I wanted to see if it won, I, and probably millions of others, had very high hopes for him as a host. And honestly, I didn’t love what he did. He kind of flopped a bit at times. But that’s fine. Maybe I expected too much. What we can learn: Not everyone will love what you do all the time. You may think you’re doing a great job but there may be expectations that are so high they’re almost impossible to reach and then, inevitably, people will be disappointed. Let it go. Don’t worry about them. It’s one thing to accept their criticism and use it to improve. It’s another to let it destroy your confidence.
Awards aren’t the only validation for success. Every year, there are disappointments. Every year, there are some actors nominated and they never win. Yet when you watch what they do, it doesn’t stop them from doing incredible work or receiving consistent critical acclaim. It doesn’t stop them from having legions of fans. What we can learn: Even if you never win an award for your work, don’t let that stop you from consistently doing the absolute best that you can. Whether it seems like it or not, there are people who take notice and to them, your efforts mean everything. They are the people you need to keep working for, not those who give out awards.

With that said, I’ve gotta go. I have a cupcake to pick out.

A few words on transparency

August 16, 2013 by Jana 5 Comments

>>>Steps on soapbox

Earlier in the year, when I was attempting to get a blog consulting business off the ground, I entered into a contract with a gentleman who was at the very beginning stages of building a blog. After some conversation, I figured I could help him, he figured I could help him, and he paid me for a few months of work up front. Everyone was happy.

The contract ended and we informally kept in touch, mainly due to some side projects this gentleman was working on. He wanted to bring me on board for a very large scale project, one that I was extremely excited for because of both the scope of work and, yes, the potential paycheck. And, despite the fact that details were fuzzy and progress was slow, I maintained enthusiasm for project. I couldn’t wait to get started.

And then.

I was fired. Before I was even officially hired.

Why?

According to this gentleman, I am not transparent enough. Which is not something I have ever claimed or even attempted to be. There are certain parts of my financial and personal life–and this was true, even when I had a purely personal finance site–that I never shared (and never will share). That was a conscious decision, made out of a number reasons, including a respect for my husband’s wishes and the fact that too much transparency can wind up hurting rather than helping.

I don’t know where the expectation for complete and total transparency happened. As bloggers, we do share a certain amount of information. That’s our choice. But to expect that we share everything is asinine. There is no law or rule that states we are required to put each intimate detail of our lives online or in our blog. It’s our content, our rules, our lives. We get to decide what to do with it and how much of it to share. And where, with whom, and in what context that information is shared.

To tell us otherwise is ridiculous. No one has any right to dictate or bully us into divulging any more than we are comfortable with. There are reasons that people don’t share everything, and guess what? We don’t have to share those reasons either. If someone says “I’m not comfortable sharing that”, then their choice deserves respect. You can choose to move on to another person who will be more transparent if that’s what you like to read. That’s fine. We understand. But if you’re going to continue to read our sites, then you need to behave, act like a grown up, and show some respect for our decision not to share every intimate detail.

However.

Bloggers have to take ownership of the situation, too. If we choose to make any part of our lives available for public consumption then we must be prepared for readers to criticize, disagree, or dislike those choices. We need to be prepared for people wanting or insisting on having more. Hell, we even need to be prepared for virtual strangers to dislike us as people. And we need to let them. Because while they might not have the right to force us share, we can’t stop them from trying. It’s how all of this works. Announcing your life to the world–and in part, that’s what blogging is–opens us up to that. If you can’t handle it, don’t blog in a public manner. It’s not for the thin skinned and easily offended.

Also, bloggers, if you choose to be transparent in every way possible, please consider the effects on your:

Personal life, particularly family and friends. Speaking from experience, you can unintentionally hurt people you care about even if what you write has the best intentions.
Job, and everything that goes with it including promotion potential, earning potential, raises and the like. There have been people who have been fired as a result of what they write on their blogs.
Legal issues. I couldn’t think of another way to describe this. But if you have anything like pending mortgage information, child support, or other income based proceedings happening, full transparency can hurt you.

If you think, even for a second, that something you say can harm you, your career, your family, or whatever in any way, don’t use it in a post. And if you do, accept the consequences. Don’t place all the blame on the reader. You put it out there. Deal with what happens. Even if you don’t like it.

That said, if you’re okay with the consequences, share away. Disclose everything if you choose. You have mad respect from me for doing it. But I won’t be jumping on that train. I still need to keep some cards close to my chest.

>>>Steps off soapbox

P.S. For those wondering, I don’t mind that I lost the job. Yes, I was pissed at the time but compromising my standards and my promises wasn’t going to happen. It makes me sad that this gentleman couldn’t understand that but I wish him luck in finding someone who gives him what he needs. I hope his project goes well. I hope it succeeds. And I also hope he realizes that, just as we don’t accept bullying on the playground, we don’t accept bullying in the workplace either.

It’s my life

5 reasons to enjoy Mondays

It’s been 6 weeks: My (somewhat) triumphant return

Life lessons from the Emmy awards. And cupcakes!

A few words on transparency

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