This is the inaugural Sidebar Shots post. Please enjoy responsibly.

Confession: I have never read a Twilight book, seen a Twilight movie, and I don’t which one is Jacob or Edward and which one is a vampire or a werewolf and why it matters who Bella marries (yes, I do know their names. If you’ve had a child in the last 5 years, those names are impossible to escape). And quite frankly, I don’t care. The appeal of the Twilight phenomenon is lost on me (as is the whole Fifty Shades of Gray, but that’s another post). I don’t get why the media is obsessed with someone as bland as Kristen Stewart or Robert Pattinson. And all of the grown women fawning over Taylor Lautner’s abs is actually kind of gross. Isn’t he about 12?

But I do read the news. As a result, I’m well aware of the cheating scandal that is rocking the Twilight world. The headlines and the pictures are nearly impossible to escape as they plaster the front page of every freaking tabloid and news site (and this blog. Just to prove a point). Because, you know, there’s nothing else going on in the world.

And it pisses me off. A lot.

Why?

It’s pisses me off because infidelity is not entertainment. Let me say that again. Infidelity is NOT entertainment. And for those of you who think it is entertainment, and there for your amusement, let me assure that it is not. So you’re clear, let me tell you what infidelity really is. It is hell. It violates everything you think you know about relationships and trust. It’s frightening and emotional and terrible and quite possible one of the worst things a person can go through. It’s ugly. It bring sleeplessness, depression, and paranoia. It makes you doubt yourself, everything you’ve ever believed, and makes you hate everyone.

And that’s just what those of us who deal with in private go through.

Add to it the constant barrage of blog posts, scrutiny in the public eye, complete with scummy paparazzi snapping pictures and selling them to the highest bidder for a profit. Never mind having to do it with those disgusting magazines splashing those pictures all over the place to improve their bottom line. And never mind having to make public statements and issue press releases on a continual basis about your feelings over the situation.

That’s a special kind of hell I’m glad I never had to go through. Especially during the worst time in my life.

This is something that needs to be dealt with, in private, without the media spotlight shining on the situation or turning it into public discourse. It is an issue to be handled between the parties involved and their families. That’s it. We, as a public, need to start turning a blind eye to these kinds of things. We need to allow these people to grieve and work through their pain without saying cruel and awful things about the cheater (which they deserve. Completely. But those things need to be said by those who have been hurt and his or her loved ones, not random bloggers and journalists and various internet people)

 

and the significant others who may choose to stay with them. Not everyone chooses to walk out of a relationship due to infidelity. That’s fine, too. And don’t judge those people until you’ve walked in their shoes. Speaking as a survivor of infidelity, it’s not always so cut and dry as to walk away, even if you think it is).

So please. Do me and all the others who have dealt with infidelity firsthand and just stop. Just stop caring. Stop using these people’s misery to feel better or give yourself something to talk about.  Let them deal with what they need to deal with.

Because if we stop caring about who cheated on who, then the media will stop plastering it all over the place.

And that? Would be wonderful.