Sing it, Piggy and Amy!
As I get older, and as I get crankier and possibly more introverted, I’ve become a lot less tolerant of other people. I find it frustrating to make plans only to have them canceled last minute or worse, stood up, and it’s gotten quite annoying to sit in my house more than I care to because people are assholes. So I’ve been practicing doing things by myself and you know what?
I LIKE IT.
It’s nice to just pick up and go and do what I want and not give a shit about other people’s feelings or agendas or even have to listen to their petty problems or complaints. Don’t get me wrong. I still enjoy socializing with friends and going on dates with my husband and planning family activities but sometimes, when I want to do stuff, I’m okay going at it alone.
There are still some things, like going to bars or walking on a dark, empty city street or meet anyone from Craigslist to buy anything, that I will not do alone mostly because I am paranoid and fear that I’ll, you know, be murdered, but the more I force myself to do it, the more I’m learning to do certain activities alone. Activities like:
- Shopping. Sure, I like to bring a fashion conscious friend along when I do some actual shopping, mainly for necessity, but for regular things like books or yoga pants or shoes, it’s easier to go alone. I get to take my sweet time, look at everything and anything I want, without worrying if I’m boring my companion.
- Manicures and pedicures. On the rare occasions I treat myself to one or both of these, I find it much more relaxing to do it by myself. No small talk, just pampering and eavesdropping on the other customers who have not been so smart as to go solo. Or those who have and talk loudly on their cell phones. They’re asking for it. #sorrynotsorry
- Traveling. Specifically, long car rides. I do some of my best thinking when I’m driving (and by “thinking” I really mean “sing like a rock star very loudly and off-key”) and having others in the car really impedes my ability to do that.
- Attend conferences. My husband does not understand blogging and having him along at a blog conference would ruin my ability to enjoy myself and catch up with friends I only see once a year.
- Go to the movies. It is nice to go on movie dates with my husband. However, we have completely different tastes in movies and sometimes, I want to see something that he’d rather not. So I go alone. And it is glorious. Particularly in the middle of the day, during the week. I highly recommend it.
- Go to the bathroom. Remember when you had to bring a friend with you because that was perfect gossip time? Well, I suppose that still applies in some circumstances but after the last 8 years of peeing with an audience, I relish in the chance to do my business without an extra set of eyes.
- Eat in restaurants. This used to scare the shit out of me. Then I did it a couple of times and now, it’s totally fine. Especially when I bring a book. Because not only do I look completely unobtrusive, but the book scares of anyone who might talk to me and I can be nosy without looking like I’m being nosy. It’s basically a perfect situation.
- Exercise. When I was in my Zumba obsessed phase, I learned to go to classes by myself because a) I didn’t know anyone at the gym and b) the people I did know outside of the gym wouldn’t go to the classes with me. But I wanted to go so I went anyway. And I survived and now, I actually enjoy working out by myself. Like driving alone, it gives me a chance to clear my head.
Having some alone time is great. It not only clears your head but it makes you appreciate the time you spend with others that much more because, now that you know you can be by yourself, it’s a choice to give that time to your family and friends.
It took me a long time to be okay with doing this stuff. Mainly because I suffer from low self-esteem and feared people would judge me or look at me funny but you know what I learned? No one actually gives a shit. No one is looking at me. No one is judging me. They’re there, wherever it is, for themselves. They’re not worried about me. And if you’re like I used to be, afraid to do things alone, don’t be. Just try it once. Start small and work your way up.
Trust me. You’ll learn to love it.
Especially if you have kids.
Then it’s like a vacation.
And it’s better than hiding in the bathroom faking a bout of diarrhea.
Not that I’ve ever done that.
How about you guys? Are there any activities you prefer to do alone or you’ve learned to enjoy doing alone?
