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I don’t care enough to think of a clever title

October 20, 2015 by Jana 44 Comments

While I try to pay attention to pop culture, and thanks to Facebook and Instagram and Twitter and all the other place, I know more about it than I probably should, there’s a whole lot I simply don’t care about. And whether not caring makes me old or weird or snobby or not snobby enough or some combination of those or something else, I just cannot bring myself to give any shits to things like:

The new Twilight book. I never read the original ones, never saw the movies, and this one will fall into the deep recesses of my memory in the file “things I once knew but didn’t care enough to remember”.
Anything related to Harry Potter (sorry, Amanda).
The news Star Wars movie.
Football. Fantasy football. Football weather. Fuck football. (I’ve said this before, in a similar post I’ve written. There might be some repeats. We can put that on the list of things I don’t care about, too.)
Gilmore Girls being on Netflix. Or the possible planned reunion. See also: most other late 90s, early 00s shows.
The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, Scandal, Empire, any reality show, and a whole host of others. I like my TV but those don’t do it for me.
How much money other people make at their jobs. If you make good money, good for you. If you don’t, I’m sorry (but if you’re making it work, then I am impressed and you should share what you’re doing because many can learn from you). But it’s not a competition and we’re all adults and your paycheck doesn’t determine your worth in my life. See also: blogging stats. There are zero fucks to give.
Playboy doing away with nude photographs. I feel like this is something I should care about but…meh.
Celebrities’ opinions on societal inequities or politics or whatever. Do I like when they share their personal struggles? Yes. Do I like when they actively try to make a difference? Yes. But do I care what they think when they’re not dealing with an issue or exerting any effort to affect change and they’re talking because they’re self-important douchecanoes? No.
What people I randomly follow on Twitter are sharing. I turned OFF my notifications. Why you still telling me, Twitter?
When my husband gets a haircut. Sorry, husband. I love but your haircuts do nothing for me. I care more when you shave. Because no one wants to kiss stubble.

What are some things that make you say I don’t give a fuck?

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To the gentlemen who wrote that UD banner

September 2, 2015 by Jana 34 Comments

We’re going to talk about this today:

In case you can’t read it, the sign says “She Called U Daddy for 18 years Now its…Our Turn”

A few things. 1) I don’t know if this is from this past weekend, which was freshmen move-in weekend at the University of Delaware, or if it’s old; 2) I will not assume it was hung at a fraternity house because not all fraternity boys are sexist cretins and not all non-Greeks are respectful gentlemen; 3) I can’t believe we’re having to talk about this again.

But regardless, here we go because in light of what happened at Old Dominion University last week, it still makes sense to discuss.

Gentlemen (and I’m going to call you gentlemen because I’m hoping that at your core, that’s really what you are despite this offensive display) who wrote this banner, I really would like to know what you were thinking when you did it. I mean, I get it. You thought it was funny. Why wouldn’t you? Treating women like objects and putting down their equal status on a college campus is hilarious! Especially when you mention that you want them to call you daddy! Because, you know, that’s not weird or creepy and totally doesn’t infantilize the women you are hoping to have sex with.

I enjoyed a hearty chuckle.

And, while we’re discussing that, if you want them to call you daddy does that mean you will, in fact, act like it as well? Because I’m sure that a number of parents would be willing to hand over the financial responsibilities of parenting to you since that’s typically a part of being called “daddy” and let’s face it, college is expensive. Parents need all the help they can get at this point and if you’re willing, well, then, maybe we should talk.

One more daddy thing. The way the banner reads, it sounds like you’d like to call her father “daddy”. You should really rethink your phrasing next time. It’ll make more sense. Still won’t be less offensive. But it’ll make more sense.

Also, can we talk about the grammar on the banner? Horrid. Gentlemen, you’re in college now. You should know how to use proper capitalization and punctuation and the correct form of “its” vs. “it’s” and holy hell, stop the ellipsis abuse. Just stop it right now. If you need help, please visit the Writing Center. It used to be near Memorial Hall but if it’s moved, I’m sure someone can point you in the correct direction. And if you’re too embarrassed to use the Writing Center, here’s a comic from the Oatmeal. He’s very smart.

Sarcasm, grammar policing, and assorted other snark aside what I truly want to know is this–what were your goals in hanging this banner?

Honestly. What did you want to accomplish? Did you succeed?

Was the point to make people laugh? Well, you probably did.

Was the point to entice all the freshmen girls to come visit your house because it looks like a place where they’d be safe and not at all harassed? Well, maybe a few were and I should probably have a chat with those girls.

Was the point to uphold the morals and values that your parents taught you? I’d say probably not. It seems like you forgot about those.

Was the point to enrage the scores of parents and families that drove by your house? Possibly. And I’m sure you did.

Make thousands of people say “what the fuck”? Not sure if that was an intended goal but I’m confident you succeeded in that, too.

Maybe on the surface what you did was funny. But the implication behind it was so much more and to use language from a close friend of mine (who I met freshman year at UD, by the way), why do we have to keep talking about this? In a year when a student at Columbia University carries around a mattress in protest of the university’s handling of her rape, in a year where Missoula is published, why are signs like this still popping up on college campuses? Are the words not reaching their intended audience? And if they’re not, how do we get it to them? And once we get it to them, how do we make them sink in?

I don’t have any answers but I’m definitely willing to help work on some. Because when I drop my daughter off at college in 10 years, this should be something we talk about in sentences that start with “remember when”.

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All the leaves are brown and other things I love about fall

August 31, 2015 by Jana 40 Comments

And now we begin the basic of all basic posts…

I know that technically fall starts in a few weeks but since school is back in session (yay!), it’s fall in my book.

I didn’t used to love fall. As a kid, summer was the best for all the reasons you’d think–Sleep-away camp, no school, sleeping late when I wasn’t as camp, swimming all the time, reading all day long…fun, kid stuff. Also, back then, the heat didn’t bother me quite like it does now and I didn’t mind wearing shorts, either.

But now, as an adult, I much prefer the autumn months for so many reasons.

Cooler weather. Look, I am all for embracing whatever it is you look like and wearing whatever you want but for me, I like to be covered up. Hoodies and yoga pants for this gal.
Soups and casseroles and stews. A girl can only eat so many hot dogs and barbecued chicken before she hates them. Bring on the soups! Bring on the cheesy casseroles! I’m ready for a menu change.
The colors. I adore fall colors. Summer ones are nice but the deep purples and reds and yellows of fall make me feel all cozy.
Staying indoors is preferable. I am of the indoorsy kind (with some exceptions like the beach). Cooler weather means it’s acceptable and guilt free to binge watch Netflix on a Saturday instead of being outside, communing with nature and other people.
Football. Not to watch, of course. But when the husband is watching it, I get hours of uninterrupted reading, cooking, and baking time. It’s relaxing and makes me feel productive.
NO MOSQUITOES!! Die, you insufferable pests!
Thanksgiving. It’s my favorite holiday. No fall, no Thanksgiving.
Turning off the AC and opening the windows. There is nothing like the feeling of fresh air circulating through your home and does anyone else sleep better when the windows are open? Also, no AC means lower electric bills and who doesn’t love saving a little money?
More routine. Yes, the unstructuredness of summer is nice but I function better with a schedule. I have less anxiety, more productivity, and it’s all around easier to manage.
Fall TV!! True, many of the shows I watch exist in 10 episode bursts but fall means some of them are giving me new episodes and there’s new one to try, too. Plus this fall has The Muppets so it’s basically the greatest fall of all time.

This week in…: Volume 30

August 28, 2015 by Jana 34 Comments

I liked last week’s list format so let’s keep that going.

I finished Girl Waits with Gun, am halfway through Love May Fail, and am still hanging on to A Little Life. The latter is a great book but so damn depressing I’m just not feeling it right now which is why it’s taking me longer than usual to finish. Picked up Hyacinth Girls and In a Dark Dark Wood. Reset my Goodreads goal to 65 (upped from 50, which I completed).
School starts (finally) on Monday. I’m an underachieving mother so don’t expect any back to school posts on how I’m making my daughter’s lunches exciting or any cute outfits because I let her pick out her own clothes and as long as she matches, I truly don’t give a fuck what she wears or how I’m organized for the school year or whatever else it is that ambitious parents write about. I’ll take some pictures on Monday and that will be it. Then I’ll take a nap.
Speaking of naps, I have been ridiculously, overwhelmingly tired this week. I cannot get enough sleep. I’m wondering if maybe the summer has finally gotten the better of me.
YOU GUYS!!! There’s going to be an SOA spinoff!!! Kurt Sutter is developing it, it’s about one of the other gangs, The Mayans, and I CANNOT WAIT!!!
Another week, another Duggar rant. It’s ridiculous at this point. Today, though, we’re not going to give any more attention to Josh (but Josh? Your “rehab”? I call bullshit. It’s nothing but a calculated move to be able to drum up money and draw back fans with your “redemption story”. I’m on to you and those who spawned you) but we are going to talk a bit about Anna. She’s been making headlines lately, thanks to her brother who’s actively trying to get her out of the house, the fact that she’s absorbing the responsibility of Josh’s actions, as well as that viral Facebook post (which I agree with while adding that, unfortunately, there are too many Annas who need that message but will never receive it). My two cents is this–there is nothing wrong with standing by a spouse who cheated on you (adding that we’re going to pretend it’s all he did because when I add in the molestation, it’s too difficult to continue this train of thought). It is okay to seek counseling and work on your marriage and try to move on from the cheating for whatever reasons you might have. Women do it every single day. The difference between Anna and other women is this: Anna has no choice but to stay. Not only is there immense pressure from her family and church leaders to stay but if she leaves, she will consider herself a failure, that she wasn’t godly enough to make her marriage work. For someone who’s been indoctrinated to believe that her self-worth depends entirely upon being a wife and mother, can you imagine the depression she’d endure if she left? How would that help her kids or her self-esteem (which is probably in the toilet already)? And is it productive to scream that she should leave knowing that she has absolutely no means to support herself or the children? So while it’s popular to say she’s weak for standing by that cretin she’s married to, there’s way more to it and I think, maybe, we should give Anna a break and let her deal with what’s happened (note: this is not at all an endorsement of the horrible way she was raised or the archaic belief system she subscribes to. But those beliefs are precisely why there’s a conflict).
And then there was another shooting by another unhinged nutbag the same week the Aurora movie theater shooter (I refuse to acknowledge their names) gets sentenced to roughly a million years in prison. I’m not saying we need to take away all the guns but holy hell, what is it going to take to make some changes?
I leave for Charlotte in about 3 weeks. If anyone knows of anything free or inexpensive to do, or has recommendations for places to eat or bars to visit, please let me know. I’m at a loss.
The child and I went to the beach the other day. We got there early, staked out our spot, and, while we were in the ocean, a family of 23940937 incredibly loud, obnoxious asshats set up shop approximately 3 inches from our chairs. ON A WIDE OPEN BEACH. There is no reason for that nonsense at all. Respect personal space.
As for internet reads, there were a lot but in the interest of loving my fellow bloggers, the ones you really need to read are Kristen’s post on books and the 7 deadly sins, Ali’s post on the awful way men treat women on dating sites and apps, and Erin’s happy songs (which is similar to a post I did including title because #twinsies). And also this one from Scary Mommy who is not a friend but did share an awesome post about 80s characters I could use in my life right now (hint: John Bender is on the list. So is Duckie. And Mr. Miyagi (oh, guy with the theory that Daniel is the bully? Fuck off. You’re an idiot). And many others. You should definitely read this post).
And your funny of the week:

Have a wonderful weekend! See you back on Monday when we’ll discuss all the things I love about fall.

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This week in…: Volume 27

August 14, 2015 by Jana 20 Comments

This week in reading…Thanks again to everyone who participated in Show Us Your Books. Next one is September 8. Since Tuesday, I’ve finished I Regret Nothing, am halfway through Inside the O’Briens and A Little Life, and picked up The Oregon Train: A New American Journey and Some Girls Are. Good stuff.

This week in listening…While I’m still listening to my rock standards, I’m trying to incorporate some new songs into my repertoire. Like these:

This week in shit my husband says…In response to my explanation of the term “ship” as it pertains to wanting fictional characters to get together. He replies: I’ve shipped someone somewhere. You don’t need to know why.

This week in sweet ass deals…My husband is an Orioles fan. I am a Mets fan. Every so often, the stars align and they play one another during the regular season. This summer is that special time. We knew we wanted to go and I managed to find us tickets in decent seats for $10 a piece! Plus we prepaid for parking which is exponentially better than driving around Baltimore on a game day trying to find a garage and that also was $10. So 3 tickets and parking (plus the requisite ticket fees) cost $50. That’s basically less than one normal ticket. And I can go to Camden Yards wearing a Mets shirt and not fear for my life!

This week in confusion…Am I the only one puzzled by the outrage at Target for doing away with gender designations on their toy aisles? Doesn’t this sort of fly in the face of the gender equality, girls can do anything boys can do mentality we’re trying to adopt? I mean, if we truly want it to be okay for girls to play with dinosaurs and boys to play with dolls, why wouldn’t we put them all together with no gender labels distinguishing between the two? And as for the people who truly believe that mixing the toys together will cause gender identity crises in children…well, Ron White says you can’t fix stupid and he’s completely correct. What you can do, however, is educate them and hopefully change their ignorance to understanding. Also, it’s fucking toys. Can we all calm the hell down?

This week in I’m not sure what to think…Did you guys see the viral video pregnancy announcement where the husband used pee the wife left in the toilet to do a pregnancy test and surprise her with the positive test? Then did you see how they posted a video a few days later where they said she had a miscarriage? To be honest, I’m struggling with the whole thing. First, because it sounds like absolute bullshit that he was able to get a positive test from urine diluted with water. Also, it’s fucking gross that he did that if it’s actually true and it’s even more disgusting that she doesn’t flush after she goes (the excuse that she doesn’t want to wake the kids? How loud is their toilet? Do the kids sleep in the bathroom? I can’t make sense of this) but that’s another discussion. Second, I watched the video announcing the miscarriage and it just seemed…off to me. I’m not saying that everyone grieves the same way but I can tell you that after mine, my first instinct was not to film a video just a few hours later and share it with the world. And some of the comments they made smacked of attention seeking behavior rather than genuine grief and pain. And I hope to god that they’re just completely narcissistic (which, from reading a bit about them, they really and truly are. Exhibit A: A video they posted titled “Good Looking Parents Sing Frozen” or something like that) and not lying because if they are…well, that’s a slap in the face to those of who have experienced it. And it’s disgusting. And despicable. And reprehensible. Miscarriages are not something to fake for attention or fame. And if it makes me callous and heartless that I don’t believe them, I can live with that. But my spidey senses are tingling from this story.

This week in internet reads…Two great ones from Buzzfeed: 37 things you’ll only understand if you went to college in the 90s and 19 things only women who love swearing will understand. This post on things I’m too old to tolerate. This one from the Huffington Post with 22 habits to make your life more peaceful every day. And finally, since I’m trying to find classics I want to read, I liked this list with 25 American classics everyone should read.

This week in funnies…