I did this post once before as part of Amanda’s now defunct linkup but I love that Steph and Nadine have kept it going so I figured, much like I did with yesterday’s post, that I’d jump on the bandwagon and share with you guys all the shit my husband says.
If the conversation I highlighted in his favorites post wasn’t a good indicator, let me warn you that my husband says some crazy ass stuff. He’s seriously insane. Most of our conversations end with me saying “what the hell is wrong with you?” because honestly, there has to be something deep in the recesses of his brain that make this shit come out as effortlessly and as often as it does and it probably needs to be fixed but in the meantime, let’s all sit back and enjoy this installment of “Shit My Husband Says?!”
After opening something way too loudly and way too close to my head:
Me: That was unnecessarily loud.
Husband: So was the Civil War but we got through it.
His enthusiastic support for a movie sequel:
I’m 51% sure I’d support a “White Men Can’t Jump 2”
While listening to Adam Sandler’s “The Goat”:
Me: If the goat is untied, why doesn’t he just run away?
Husband: Where’s he going to go? He clearly has Stockholm Syndrome.
During homework time, when our daughter had to answer a few questions about turtles:
Turtles make lousy carpenters. You rarely hear anyone say that.
As we’re going through our DVR, looking for shows to delete:
Me: You can delete 19 Kids and Counting
Husband: I’d watch 19 Thugs in County. That should be a show.
Randomly one night before bed:
Husband: I want to go to a store and buy all the items typically used to commit crimes. Then I want to go back a few days later to return them and when they ask why, I’ll look at them and say “they got away”.
Me, reaching for a pen and paper because clearly this is one for posterity
Husband: Are you writing this down?
And finally, the other night, after NASA had trouble with a rocket launch and the husband had to take a shit:
NASA might not have launched a rocket tonight but I’m about to.
I don’t know how to end this post because how do you even attempt to summarize this? There’s really no way. But this will do:
Coming up tomorrow: traits of a long lasting relationship, or How I’ve Survived 18 Years With This Guy
Linking up with Liz
