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One map, two stories

April 13, 2015 by Jana 17 Comments

I loved Kristin’s post where she shared her map of states she’s lived in, visited, or driven through. In fact, I loved it so much I’ve decided to share mine, which actually tells two stories: where I’ve been and where I still need to go.

Let’s have a look:

states map

Now let’s break it down.

I grew up on Long Island, went to college (and currently live) in Delaware, spent 6 glorious summers and one not so glorious year living in various parts of Pennsylvania so the fact that almost the whole East Coast, specifically the mid-Atlantic, is filled in shouldn’t be a surprise. I do need to finish visiting New England and although Maine isn’t filled in, I think maybe I might have been there at some point. I can’t remember so I left it out. Fun fact: my high school has graduated a number of notable alumni including Natalie Portman, Judd Apatow, and Idina Menzel. I don’t know any of them. 

The western states are covered mostly due to a 6 week tour I took in high school. It started in Seattle, went up through the Canadian Rockies, and came down through Idaho, Wyoming, Montana, California, Arizona, Nevada, Utah, and ended in Colorado. I got to see a number of amazing sites including the Grand Canyon, Bryce Canyon, the Grand Tetons, Yellowstone, and Yosemite. I’ve also visited California and Colorado as an adult. Very different experiences.

The rest of the states like Michigan, Texas, Kentucky, Missouri, Louisiana, Wisconsin, and Illinois were the result of family trips, college visits, or blogging or work conferences. We actually flew to Texas a few weeks after 9/11 and the plane was so empty flying home they let all 8 of us travelling sit in first class. Free upgrade FTW!!! It’s also the only time I’ve flown first class.

For whatever reason, I’ve missed most of the midwest and deep south. It’s not that I’ve purposefully avoided them, it’s just never been a priority to go there. However. Since one of my life goals is to visit every state, when I plan my cross country trip, I know which ones are mandatory to visit so if you live in those states, you need to let me know what I absolutely have to see when I visit your state.

And Alaska and Hawaii will happen, too, because I just really want to go there.

For those counting, I’ve visited 28 states. Not too shabby. But still room for improvement.

How about you guys? What does your states visited map look like? 

 

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: random, traveling

#random

April 8, 2015 by Jana 19 Comments

It’s happening. I’m on the #hashtaghumpday bandwagon.

#Hashtaghumpday @ Life with Lolo

This week is spring break. I don’t even know what I’ve been doing with myself except I’m really glad insomnia picked this week to set in. Because, you know, why sleep when you actually have a chance? #imexhausted

I bought three new candles yesterday and none of them were the scent I actually wanted because the Yankee Candle outlet didn’t have the Chocolate Truffle. But the ones I bought do smell like other food. #imfatsomycandlessmelllikecake

Grocery shopping this week included me buying salad dressing, which I rarely buy because I make my own. After we all ate some of it, we realized the expiration date was in November. 2014. #acmeistryingtopoisonme

I have been trying to read The One Hundred Year Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared for roughly a month but I keep realizing that I have other books due back before that one and I get sidetracked. #readerproblems

Does anyone else get annoyed when “friends” share stories on Facebook without either a)reading the whole post/article or b)fact check before sharing? No? Just me?#checkyourshitbeforeyoushare

Baseball is back and all is right with the world. And since it’s April, that means the Mets are actually doing well thus far because they haven’t had enough time to fuck it up yet. #buttheywill

Let’s talk Mad Men for a minute. I mostly liked this week’s episode. It had one major flaw, though. Well, two if you count not enough Peggy/Stan screen time. But the one I’m referring to is the horrible atrocity that sat on Roger’s face. I don’t care that most people love it or it’s the quintessential 70s. It made me irrationally angry. #makeitstop #iwanttoshaveitoff

Roscoe P. Coltrane died (well, James Best, the actor who played him died). Jill Duggar had her baby the same day. That is the most bizarre example of the circle of life I can imagine. #obscurecelebritygossipismyjam

This post has no pictures or gifs because I’m too lazy to go look for some. #noshame

I wish I knew just how much of my brain is being taken up by song lyrics because I’m fairly confident that that’s the reason I can’t remember basic things like feeding my dogs or washing my face in the shower. I comfort myself with the fact that my taste in music is spectacular and I’ve made room for what’s important. #musiccomesfirst #clearly

It might not be crazy warm out but it’s warm enough where I can FINALLY turn off the heat in my house. #iloveloweringmybills

Last week, I bought a jar of pickles for our Seder. I ate almost the whole jar by myself in one day. #dontevencare #dontliketoshare

#storyofmylife #iliedbeforeaboutnopicturesrest stops

 

Happy Wednesday!

 

 

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: confessions, linkups, random

My Buzzfeed life

April 1, 2015 by Jana 26 Comments

Note: Every detail in this post is derived from my answers to Buzzfeed quizzes. I figured it’d be a good use of my responses and not at all a reason to waste a whole lot of time taking those quizzes. I love these answers because approximately 99% of the answers are so ridiculous I seriously can’t stand it.

Jana passed away at Seattle Grace Hospital, in surgery, not at the age of 54 as her musical tastes dictate, but at the age she acts, 35. She worked as a lamplighter, was a member of The Sharks, and while she belonged living in a Great Plains state, she made her home in Los Angeles after spending time in Portland. She was surrounded by her family: father Jay, stepmother Gloria, siblings Manny, Phil, Claire, Cameron, and Mitch, and their children. 

Jana graduated from a private high school before completing her undergraduate degree at Pennbrook College. Her friends remember her as a fully functioning adult with soulful brown eyes, a dark sense of humor, zero tolerance for bullshit, and an overwhelming knowledge of obscure 90s teen movies and an ability to name all the Duggars. She never let her short stature deter her from anything, specifically pursuing her soulmate, Nick Andopolis, investing in serial entrepreneur Tom Haverford’s contact lenses that display text messages, or getting along with the lovestruck ghost living in her room. 

Despite her inability to carry on a conversation in Spanish, she loved to travel with her Hollywood BFF Sophia Loren, with whom she drank gin martinis and craft beer. 

She will be missed by all who loved her, especially her alter ego, Montgomery. 

Filed Under: Life Tagged With: random

Conversations with my husband

March 25, 2015 by Jana 19 Comments

My husband and I started dating way back in 1996. Yup, we’ve been together that long. We were 19 when we met and for those who are interested, here’s a quick recap of how we met.

We were in the same class in college. Great Crimes with Dr. Kelly. Steph was in our class. She sat behind him and our other friend sat next to him while I, thanks to alphabetical order, sat across the room (our professor was all kinds of crazy and made us sit alphabetically. So much for that college student autonomy we all hoped for). Steph and Ray, being outgoing, social, friendly people chatted it up with him and introduced us as friends often do to new people. We found out we all lived in the Towers and since we all lived in the same one, we’d often walk or take the bus home together or go to the computer lab (anyone else old enough to remember those?) to work on our assignments. Captions, mostly. The husband and I still have nightmares about those. I’m sure Steph does, too. Anyway, we had our first date roughly 6 weeks after we first met although it wasn’t “official” until just before Thanksgiving break, a month after that first date. My sorority hayride, for those who needed and/or wanted that detail.

And that’s that. Nothing exciting. Nothing romantic or interesting and we definitely didn’t have a meet-cute. But it all worked out.

Back then, we worried about what most couples worried about. Are we eating too much pizza? Which date parties/formal are we going to this semester? Should we study or go to the bar? What is the earliest class we can possibly handle? Should we take any classes together this semester?

And it went on and on like that. It was fun and pointless and now that we’re old and have been together for 18+ years (married for almost 11 of them), we have much more important discussions.

conversations

The great peanut butter debate

Him: Can you please buy crunchy peanut butter?

Me: No. It’s disgusting. And you put it in the fridge and that makes it worse. Creamy peanut butter is the only acceptable kind and it belongs in the pantry.

Him: Can’t we just have two different kinds?

Me: No. I mean, technically we could, but I’m not buying crunchy peanut butter. It’s terrible.

Him: But the child likes it, too.

Me: Way to play into my mommy guilt. Touché.

When we run into people he knows but I don’t

Me: You didn’t introduce me. You don’t remember his/her name, do you?

Him: Nope.

All about that toast

Me: Did you just toast bread and then put it in the freezer?

Him: Yes.

Me: Why?

Him: Because I want the crunch and texture of toast without the bread being hot.

Me: Of course you do.

Watching TV

Me: Are you watching Fight Club?

Him: I can’t talk about Fight Club.

Deciding where to eat

Him: What do you want for dinner?

Me: I don’t care, what do you want?

Him: Okay, how about we get burgers?

Me: No, I don’t want those.

Pretty much anytime of day, particularly in the car on long drives

Him:Did you fart?

Me: No, I did not fart. If it were me, you would have heard it.

Trying to find the dog

Me: Is Barkley in the closet?

Him: No, he’s comfortable in his own skin.

Texting

Note the fact that these were on different days, yet at similar times. Also, do you love the “no service” message despite the fact that my phone is on my couch? Verizon, we need to talk. Although we probably can’t because I CAN’T GET SERVICE IN MY DAMN HOUSE!!

scott text
Note my Kate Middleton sarcasm and his complete glossing over of it.

 

scott text 2

 

If this isn’t proof that romance is still alive, I don’t know what is.

If you want more, you can read some of our other conversations here, here, and here.

 

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Filed Under: Family Tagged With: confessions, marriage, random, relationships

Thoughts from a colonoscopy prep

March 16, 2015 by Jana 46 Comments

Did you guys have a good weekend? I did. Well, the best I could after spending Friday in colonoscopy hell. Let me be clear–I know they’re necessary. But holy hell, are they horrible. Not so much the procedure because I was completely unconscious but everything else surrounding it. 

I’ve done random train of thought posts before (you can read them here, here, and here) so let’s add to the collection with all the fun things that went through my head during the whole colonoscopy event.

Wow, this is a lot of stuff I need to buy. 

I really have to take the weekly dose of two laxatives in four hours? That seems excessive and I’m pretty sure it’s going to be painful.

This Gatorade mixed with Miralax doesn’t taste too terrible. 

This is the worst Gatorade I have ever had in my life and if I have to drink one more sip I will throw it up all over the place. 

If I throw up, do I get to cancel the procedure? 

No, I’m not cancelling it. I’ve come too far and I haven’t forgone food for two days to cancel now.

They won’t notice if I spill some of it down the drain. 

HOW IS IT POSSIBLE FOR ONE PERSON TO POOP THIS MUCH?!

How is there anything left in my stomach? I think everything I’ve eaten over the past month has been flushed away. 

Hmmm. I wonder how much weight I’ve lost from all this. *steps on scale* Three and half pounds?! Ridiculous.

Is this how celebrities lose weight before awards shows because it doesn’t seem worth it. I’m sure Spanx does a better job. Same results, less gas.

Oh, finally. It’s over. I can get some sleep that’s not on the bathroom floor. 

I was wrong. THIS is the worst drink I’ve ever had. Perhaps I should not have brushed my teeth before I drank the grape flavored magnesium citrate. I am the queen of bad choices.

Really? More pooping?! I’m pretty sure my stomach is just inventing things to eliminate.

There are an awful lot of people in this waiting room. I think I’m disturbed by the amount of people with stomach and/or butt problems. 

Let’s play a game. Who’s here for a procedure and who’s their ride home? 

This game is easy. Anyone in comfy pants is clearly getting prodded. 

Oh, wait. There’s a couple both wearing jeans. Challenge accepted!

People look funny when they’re coming off of anesthesia. 

HOW AM I STILL POOPING??

They’re giving me propofol? Isn’t that the drug that killed Michael Jackson? (FYI, I said this out loud, loudly, to my prep nurse. #noshame)

If I had the ability I would punch the anesthesia nurse in the nuts because I want him to feel the pain that he is inflicting on my with this IV needle.

Wait, how is it over? I literally remember nothing after I yelled at the nurse that he hurt my arm. 

Oh, thank god. The pooping is over. 

I need a nap and some food. 

Fun follow up story: So, I was pretty convinced that people could tell I was on something and in my head, I looked either really drunk or high. Turns out, I was right. One of the other cheer parents is an undercover detective and when we stopped to get food, they (I don’t want to say if it’s one of the moms or dads) were parked in the same parking lot and their partner held the door open for us. When my husband saw this parent later that night, he/she relayed that his/her partner thought something was wrong with me and my husband had to clarify. Reasonable explanation yet still mildly embarrassing. 

All in all, the prep was worse than the procedure (you know, because I don’t remember it) and fortunately, everything is normal and I don’t have to do it again until I’m 50. Hopefully by then they’ve improved upon the whole prep process.

 

 

 

 

Filed Under: Life Tagged With: health, random

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Jana

I'm Jana ...

A book reading, nail polish wearing, binge watching, music loving, dog owning, reluctant cheer mom.
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