So I’ve been thinking lately about how we live in these either/or situations:

• Consume content or create
• Dogs or cats
• Spend all your money or save all your money
• Watch TV or read books
• Credit cards or cash
• Exercise inside or outside
• Stay home or work outside the home
• Wine or beer
• Hustle or self-care (this is actually a soapbox issue for me but we’ll skip it today)
• Self-employed or work for someone else (another soapbox issue. I’m feeling soapboxy, apparently)
• Blog for money or blog for fun
• Coffee or tea
• Cooking from scratch or buying pre-made food

And so on. Feel free to add your own.

The thing is, it doesn’t have to be that way. There doesn’t need to be these hard line “WORKING FOR YOURSELF IS THE ONLY WAY TO GET RICH” or “I ONLY READ BOOKS BECAUSE TV IS A WASTE OF TIME” statements.

First of all, they’re way more judgy than they need to be. I mean, we all make choices based on our moods and budgets and circumstances. Is it really necessary to put our values on someone else especially without knowing all the facts? For instance, I read plenty of books but I also watch my fair share of TV. I don’t feel like I’m a waste of a person because I park my ass on the couch in my soft pants and watch Netflix instead of going for a 12 mile hike and I don’t feel like it’s anyone’s business if I spend a Saturday watching 47 episodes of The Office or reading a 400 page book. I’d sure like your feedback if you’ve seen or read what I’m reading or watching because discussions are fun. I even want to hear how you spent your time.

But telling me that what I’m doing is wrong because it’s not what you would do? No.

Second, why? Why do we have to draw such lines? Why isn’t is possible to want both situations? To want to drink wine AND beer, even in the same night (although godspeed to you if you do)? To hold a full-time job but also have a side business? Even more, what’s wrong with wanting to spend your career as an employee instead of a retired-early entrepreneur? Why do we have to choose? It is possible to be a healthy, balanced person who dabbles on both sides of an equation. Life doesn’t work in absolutes. And we do ourselves, and others, a disservice when we try to convince them otherwise.

I get wanting to advocate for your beliefs. Writing about them on a blog, tweeting about them, sharing pictures on Instagram. I believe in respectful discussions or a contentious argument or two if you believe strongly in one thing over another. I think it’s awesome to share information and resources and opinions. We want others to think like we do and to form a community and support network of those who have the same preferences. And I love people who are passionate. It’s great to learn from them and read their experiences and find out why they’re so passionate.

But it’s entirely different to condescend or demean someone who feels or chooses differently.

I think that’s where this whole thing started. Seeing or hearing people condemn or mock others whose life choices are different, both on the small and large scale. I think that’s a bunch of bullshit. A reader isn’t superior to a TV watcher and I don’t think you’re better than me because you don’t drink coffee or alcohol. Working moms have it differently difficult than a stay-at-home mom. We all have struggles and advantages and we’ve made our choices based on weighing those against each other.

I’m not really sure what the point of this post is. I freely admit that it’s a hot mess of rambling nonsense. But if I had to sum it up, it would be this: it’s okay to equally enjoy things that seem to be in direct conflict with each other. Books and TV, cats and dogs, self-employment and entrepreneurship; none of them are mutually exclusive and there’s room in your life for everything if you want it. And if you don’t, ease up on those who aren’t steadfast in their beliefs or preferences.

Life isn’t always either/or.

Unless it’s either impeach trump or not. Then there’s only one real answer.