I saw this picture on Facebook the other day (before I continue, let me give a plug to my friend Tanya who wrote this great post on why she quit Facebook which, if I’m being honest, should also be on this upcoming list because FB):
We can debate the merits of this list all day long and why some of them make no sense being compared to each other. For instance, the cost of having a baby vs. cost of having an education? Um, they’re not mutually exclusive. You can do both (unless they’re targeting this list at high schoolers who are considering or accidentally having a baby in which case maybe we need to add something like “how to properly use birth control” or “how to properly care for an infant’ to this list which, let’s face it, should also apply to adults). How about “do your taxes”? Great! If they’re simple. If not, “how to find an accountant that won’t screw you and knows what she’s doing” should be on that list. “Change your own oil”? How about jump start a dead battery? Or check your fluids levels? I feel like that’s more practical because it’s not that hard to find someone to change your oil for you and also, if you don’t have the tools or the space, or even a car, then why the fuck do you need that skill?
So I decided to tweak the list a bit. Just for fun. And also practical reasons because kids, here’s what you really need:
- Doing your own laundry. It’s easier than you think, even if it’s a pain.
- Having food with friends and putting your phone away. It’s really possible.
- Hiding a hangover from your boss. It’s also possible.
- Remembering birthdays, anniversaries, and events without Facebook.
- Reading a map. Seriously, your phone might not always work. You might get lost. Maps help.
- Job searching using traditional means and social media (and how to behave and dress for an interview). See also: conducting yourself properly at a job, picking health insurance
- Finding free food (and books and entertainment) because if you’re balancing your checkbook, you’ll be saddened by your budget and finding free shit is the best skill you’ll have. See also: using coupons
- Time management. Also known as fitting in side hustling, showering, exercising, reading, binge watching, working, and sleeping all in one day
- Navigating a parking lot (or Walmart) without uttering the words “fuck you, asshole”
- Negotiating anything–salary, a date, a traffic ticket because you’ll actually need to do all of these
- A DIY manicure that doesn’t look DIY. See also: pedicure, smoky eye, curling your hair. Guys, you might not need these skills but you never know.
- Napping anywhere at any time
- Maximizing Netflix, Hulu and Amazon memberships.
We’ll stop there.
So my list is half serious, half not serious (but mostly serious). But the original list, as opposed to most of mine, serves a purpose. And that purpose is to educate kids with the life skills they need, beyond the academic skills, to be functioning, independent adults. It bothers me that many of the kids today are not being taught these essential skills, either in school or by their parents.
Because, and here’s the rant part of your day, it is not fully the job of schools to give kids these skills. Parents have to own up to their responsibility in forming independent adults. And to expect and require schools to do it places undue pressure on schools and teachers and while it’s easier to put the blame outside ourselves when our kids can’t do these things, it’s just unfair to place all the failings on the schools. Yes, schools should help. Programs like banking in school or home ec or even a “Life Skills 101” class would benefit the kids immensely but to have the schools shoulder all the burden is nonsense. That education needs to come from all sides.
Now, I get that not all parents are capable of teaching this stuff to their kids. And I am fully sympathetic to that which is why I agree that there needs to be some sort of life skills curriculum in schools. And maybe it needs to be a graduation requirement. But it should not at all be a substitute for the parents who can and are fully able to teach their kids basic adulting skills. So if the people who are advocating for this type of class are doing so to work in concert with the schools, or on behalf of the kids who aren’t getting it at home, then good for them. But if they’re doing it to benefit their own laziness, well, that’s just bullshit. /rant
What am I missing from my Life101 curriculum? 
