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Defining success YOUR way

October 15, 2014 by Jana 15 Comments

I want to start by saying THANK YOU to everyone who commented on Monday’s post. Your support and encouragement and thoughts mean more to me than I can adequately express. While I’m sure I have my share of detractors, having a group of supporters makes it that much easier to deal with those who don’t like me. I’m not exactly the toughest chick around but I’m working on thickening my skin. Because if I’m going to write and publish a book, I’m going to need it. I mean, you’ve read some of those Amazon reviews, right? Holy hell, people are cruel. I need to be able to handle it. So maybe it truly was a blessing in disguise that she and I had that conversation.

It’s all about the silver linings, right?

I like to think so.

One topic that I didn’t touch on in Monday’s post was the fact that, throughout our conversation, she kept talking about different measures of blogging success–page rank, page views per month, email subscribers, Twitter followers, stuff like that. Things that definitely matter, especially when you’re like me and will be shopping a book to agents, but in the grand scheme of blogging, they’re just measurements. They’re not indicators of quality or community or even being interesting. They’re indicators that you know how to get people to like and follow and you’re good at drawing traffic.

But when you get those readers and followers, are they really, truly reading? Are they sticking around? Do they support you? Have you formed relationships?

Or do you treat them like a statistic? If you do, that’s okay. I’m ~~only judging you a little bit~~ not judging you at all.

As for me, I don’t treat anyone like a statistic. Because that matters to me is forming relationships and connecting with people. I want what I write to mean something. I want readers to come away with feelings, even if that feeling is hatred mixed with contempt. The rest doesn’t matter. It’s not important to me to use SEO tricks and clickbait headlines (clearly. I mean, you’ve seen my post titles) vanity metrics to quantify my “popularity”. When I finish my book do I want people to buy and read it? Yes. Of course I do. I need justification for my global book tour. But I want people to read and buy the book because they like me. Because they like my writing. Not because I’ve bribed or tricked them (for the record, I’m not necessarily above bribing. Just ask my child).

And the reason I feel this way is because, after 3 years of blogging, I’ve finally defined and come to terms with what’s important to me. What matters to me. And I bring all of that to my personal definition of success. Which is not a word that has a universal definition (I mean, yes, it has a dictionary definition but the real life, practical definition is way more subjective than what Webster says. The dictionary. Not the guy from TV. Although that would be awesome, too).

See? He thinks you're doing just fine. — See? He thinks you’re doing just fine.

There’s nothing wrong with the traditional definition of success. But when you look at it objectively, we all have different measures for success, with blogging and with everything else. Because what I think is successful for me might not spell success for you.

For instance, you might think success is losing 100 pounds. I might think success is losing a pants size. Both are fine. Both are successes.

You might think success is having 50000 newsletter subscribers. I might think success is having 100 newsletter subscribers. Both are fine. Both are successes.

You might think success is having the biggest, faniciest house on the block. I might think success is simply having my own apartment. Both are fine. Both are successes.

You might think success is having a multi-book deal through a traditional publishing house. I might think success is self-publishing my first and only book. Both are fine. Both are successes.

You might think success is having a million dollars in your savings account. I might think success is saving $15 per month. Both are fine. Both are successes.

You might think success is having a booked social calendar. I might think success is having one close friend I can count on. Both are fine. Both are successes.

What it all boils down to is this–perspective. Your successes and failures are based on your perception and definition of those words, and the history and goals you bring to the table that contributes to your definition of those words. And since we’re all different, we’re all going to bring different experiences which in turn leads to–you guessed it–different definitions. And to put your subjective definition on someone else isn’t fair.

So don’t do it.

I’ve tried 100 different ways to end this post on an uplifting, empowering note. But none of them seemed quite right. Instead, I’m ending with this quote. It sums up everything I’m trying to say.

It’s Wednesday so I’m linking up with Liz. No confessions this week but you should go read all the awesome ones that link up with Kathy.

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Summer reading list recap and other stuff

September 2, 2014 by Jana 24 Comments

And so the curtain closes on yet another summer. This one was infinitely better than last, given the fact that we didn’t move and almost have a foray into homelessness. Which was great for family morale.

Summer saw the blossoming of our garden but the demise of my pioneer project (we’ll talk about that another day), the rebirth of this blog, and the end of my sanity. It also saw me work through my summer reading list which I established way back in June but, like every plan I put into action, it got derailed and took on a life of its own.

You can read the full summer reading list if you want but the Cliff’s Notes version is this: I picked 6 fiction and 7 nonfiction books to read, for a total of 13 books. I wound up reading 14; 2 nonfiction (Confessions of a Prairie Bitch and The Last Lecture) and 12 fiction books. Here’s my brief reviews of the ones I could fit into a PicMonkey collage.

Very disappointing book. Mostly boring, occasionally interesting. YA book that is not appreciated by this actual adult.
I love Joshua Ferris’s books and I loved this one. It’s a dense read at times but worth working through.
The first 200 pages were slow, slow, slow but the pay off of the last third of the book is worth it. Glad I read it before I see the movie.
Not what I expected but in a good way. Chick lit at its finest and definitely worth reading.
My most favorite book of the summer (it’s Eleanor and Park, in case you can’t read the title). YA book that is highly appreciated by this actual adult and if I had to pick one book to recommend out of all I read this summer, it’s this one. I read it in a day.
Terrible book. It was awkward and bothersome and weird and don’t waste your time unless you have nothing else to read.
Adequate. Great at times, boring at others. Mostly unlikable characters but a few likable ones that you keep reading the book for.
Loved this one, too. The ending was a bit meh and the plot was mostly predictable but it was well written and a compelling read.
Another YA book (not sure what was going on with me and YA books this summer). Intriguing storyline and I read Dare Me because I liked this one so much (by the same author). Great for a vacation read.
Not pictured: Things We Set on Fire (even my non-reader sister liked it), See You at Harry’s (quick read, good for a long flight. Slightly sad), Real Happy Family (another good long flight read. Reminded me of the kind of book I’d like to write).

Now that you saw what I read over the summer, I should tell you that I’m currently in the middle of Where’d You Go, Bernadette (if you follow me on Instagram, you already knew that. So you should totally follow me and stay up to date on that breaking news) and when that’s done, here’s the pile I’ll be working on in September (and yes, that is a book by Kailyn of Teen Mom 2 fame. #noshame):

Isn't the plastic over our fireplace so classy? — Isn’t the plastic over our fireplace so classy?

In addition to reading, working on my novel (post coming on that shortly), and a quick 5 day jaunt to New Orleans in 2 weeks, I’m also participating in the Choose Your Own Adventure goal challenge and linkup because I loved those books as a kid and I love the concept as an adult. This month, the focus is on fitness which works out (no pun intended) really well. Exercise isn’t something I have a problem with as it’s integral in keeping my depression and anxiety at bay but I need to kick it up to ramp up the weight loss (another post you have to look forward to. Aren’t you stoked from all the previews?).

Over the summer, I borrowed a friend’s Focus T-25 DVDs and I loved them. I don’t have tons of time to exercise and, now that I quit my gym (due to distance) and finished a Couch 2 5K training program, I needed something else to do. I absolutely love the workouts and love them so much I bought the DVDs for myself (for a deep, deep discount on eBay. No full price for this chick). So, for my fitness goals this month, I’ll be working through the Alpha round, but at a higher intensity than I did them over the summer. As in, not following the modifier lady as much as possible.

So, for September, we’ve got my reading list, my fitness goal, and because I like my goals in batches of three, let’s make the third one editing the draft of my book. I think that’ll keep me nice and busy.

How about you guys? What are your September goals? Do you have suggestions for where I should go or what I should see in New Orleans?

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July goals and June goals recap

June 30, 2014 by Jana 26 Comments

Remember when I posted my June goals? It seems like yesterday but really, it was a whole month ago. And in that 28 days, I did, well, pretty much nothing. Maybe not nothing but not really a whole lot either. Because this is kind of how I felt:

Let’s assess.

Lose weight. My fat ass has a whole lot of pounds to lose and I did lose a couple of them this month. Not exactly sure how much because you know all that bloat and nonsense you carry around when you’re getting your period? Yeah, it made my end of the month weigh in depressing and probably inaccurate. So, I guess I can say I accomplished this one but not sure how well I accomplished it.
Work on the couch 2 5k. Not quite up to the whole 5k but almost. Finishing up week 7 and I have to keep repeating days as I refuse to allow myself to move on until I can do a whole run without stopping and 25 straight minutes is HARD, y’all. We’ll call this goal accomplished but with prejudice.
Essential oils. I did a ton of research and narrowed down the areas I’m going to use them in (insect repellent, aromatherapy-type stuff, and cleaning products) but I didn’t buy any. I can’t figure out which ones are good, which ones are bad, and honestly, they’re kind of an expensive commitment and I don’t want to pick the wrong ones. We’ll also call this one accomplished but with prejudice.
Crochet potholder. Fuck crocheting. I’m done. I gave up spending any time and energy on something I just cannot do. Maybe I’ll try to find a different project as far as crocheting goes but a potholder or blanket or anything like that can seriously suck it. Failed this one with pride.
Sew pillowcase. No excuse on this one except lack of planning. I could have made time to do it but didn’t. I need to get better with my schedule. Failed this with shame.

Alright, now that that’s out of the way, let’s move on to July. I don’t think I’ll be too ambitious because summer is in full swing and with my daughter home, it makes it a bit more difficult to work on time consuming projects. And rather than set myself up for failure, I’ll just back off the ambition.

Lose weight. Same as last month, and probably a staple until I get to my goal weight. So let’s plan on this one as a staple goal for awhile.
Complete couch 2 5k and run the race. The husband and I signed up for a 5k on July 19 and my goal is just to survive it. Because clearly I hate myself and purposefully sign up for my first race. In July.
Bring back Pinterest project Tuesday. You know all those pins I have? I should probably actually do some of them. Then I can share what I did and amuse you all with my failures. Also, it’s a good way to keep my daughter busy.
Outline my novel. I have long had a dream of being a published author, with my book sold in bookstores and doing a book tour and all that jazz. That’s not going to happen if I don’t write a book. But I have an idea. I just need to fine tune it and get writing.
Host a linkup. I have this idea for a linkup (well, two actually but I’ll save one for August) and I want to roll it out. The premise is “Notes to My Teenage Self” and the idea is to write a letter to yourself at any age in your teen years about any topic you want–body image, money, career, friendships, relationships, etc. But it gets better! Then I want to take all your posts and compile them into an eBook. It’ll be available for free and first and then I’ll set a price, with proceeds donated to a charity TBD.
That’s all she wrote for my July goals. Completely doable and I’m hoping to be able to write “accomplished” next to all of these in August!

Goals, goals, and more goals

June 2, 2014 by Jana 19 Comments

Month three of publicly declaring my goals. In April, I kicked the living shit out of my goals and accomplished 4 of 5. I think I got prematurely arrogant, set 5 more goals for May, and accomplished exactly zero of them. That’s right. Zero. None. I did nothing.

Actually, that’s a lie. I kept up with one goal, my 5k training. I am finishing week 5 (today, in fact) and I am thrilled with how it’s progressing. Now I just need to incorporate more strength training because my fat ass needs to lose some weight. So for this month, goal #1 is to lose a few pounds. Let’s say 5. That’s probably the most realistic number I can come up with. And, along with that, goal #2 is to continue the couch 2 5k program I started and be able to run the full 30ish minutes without stopping by the end of the month.

So that takes care of the health stuff. Now onto pioneer things.

You know how I’ve been trying to crochet? I’m giving it one more month. Then crocheting can go fuck itself. I just cannot do it. It try so hard, practice pretty often, and mess up after 3 rows. I mean, it’s better than the one I could do when I started but still. I am getting ridiculously frustrated. In fact, I’m pretty sure I sound like this:

And I am confident that not all pioneers crocheted well so if I can’t get it done, at least I know I tried my best. So goal #3 is to crochet that damn potholder. And then we’ll see.

Goal #4 is sewing a pillowcase. I talked about the million pillowcase challenge last month and I love the idea and I will get this one done. I have less than no reason why I didn’t do this in May except for utter laziness. With my daughter ending school this week, I’m thinking of ways to incorporate her into this challenge. Maybe have her help pick the fabric and patterns. That could work. Let’s do that.

And that brings us to the beer. Brewing beer is a pretty expensive endeavor, y’all. I think this one might have to wait until the end of the summer so we can buy the proper ingredients and do it correctly. Plus, we need to research a little more and all that good nerdy, overachiever stuff. But I like lists like this in groups of 5 which means I need to add another goal. I think, for this month, that goal #5 is to do some stuff with essential oils. From what I’ve been reading, the pioneers did a lot with herbal remedies and essential oils, to me, seem to encompass that. I’ll probably start with a homemade cleaner (I already do the vinegar/water thing, but maybe something that smells less like salad dressing) and maybe an air freshener or lotion or lip balm.

I also plan to finish the start your own pioneer project series of posts I have outlined, along with my version of a pioneer manifesto (I’ve always wanted a manifesto), and finally get those published on here.

I figure as long as I don’t slack and actually act like a productive member of society (allowing proper time for Orange Is the New Black, of course), I should be able to achieve all my goals. Including the weight loss, which always, ALWAYS proves harder than the rest.

How about you? Do you have any monthly goals?

It’s goal time!

May 5, 2014 by Jana 11 Comments

Last month, I decided I would publicly announce some of my monthly goals as a way to hold myself accountable and increase my productivity (as long as it doesn’t interfere with my obsessive RubbiKub playing, of course). It worked too, because I actually finished 4 of the 5 goals I set. We’ll discuss the shame of the 5th as well.

As stating my goals wound up being a good thing for me, I’m trying it again for May. You’ll be able to find those underneath the April recap.

Let’s get to it:

April goal #1: Wallet Watch challenge with Life According to Steph and Luck Fupus. Done! I did well with that, and I’ll share all the hairy details tomorrow in its own post. Let’s just say for now that it felt good to be mindful of my money again and it’s something I really, really needed.

April goal #2: Crochet a potholder. I can’t even begin to describe the nightmare that crocheting is becoming. I have spent hours–literally–watching YouTube videos and practicing rows and stitches and each time, it just gets worse. I thought it was because I had the wrong size crochet hook so I went and bought the size recommended for when you’re beginning and it didn’t help. At all. Because apparently there comes a point when you have to turn the project and I don’t understand that concept. So I get lost after that. I’m beginning to think this is a hopeless endeavor. But I’m not quitting just yet. I’m seeing my mom this weekend and I’m forcing her to help me. If that in person tutorial doesn’t work, we might have to call it on me learning to crochet. For those who are curious, this is what I was able to do:

April goal #3: Make homemade butter. Done! I even wrote a post about it which you should check out in case you missed it. We’ve been using that butter and my daughter even said that she likes it better than the store bought stuff. Have I mentioned how much I love her?

April goal #4: Work on my business. I’m getting there. I spoke extensively with my mastermind group about some strategies for reorganizing some of the aspects of it, including offering more free stuff. I’ve been hard at work putting that together and can’t wait to make the announcement about it. I also realized at what point I’m okay with walking away from the business. That was a huge revelation and I feel much better.

April goal #5: Garden. Also done! I wrote about this one, too, and I’ve even taken a more active role in tending to it. And when I say active, I really mean “pointing out to my husband and daughter what needs to be done and also thankfully there’s been a lot of rain so I didn’t have to water any plants when my husband was away last week and also laughing when the cat thinks the garden is a litter box”.

I’m pleased with how I did on my goals in April. In fact, I felt like this on the last day of the month:

I’m pretty sure I can keep that momentum going for my May goals:

Mentoring stuff. Continue to work on my business, including launching the free content and tweaking the site.
Actually crochet a damn potholder. I don’t care if it’s for an EZ Bake Oven, I’m finishing one. Yarn will not defeat me.
Start brewing beer. In my pioneer project bible, The Modern-Day Pioneer, the author gives a recipe for making your own beer. If the pioneers can do it, I can at least attempt. Hopefully the beer will taste good and not like crap. If not, I’ll just drink my new love, Tweasonale, instead.
Finish a writing project. I have something planned for Townhouse Pioneer readers and it’s been sitting in draft form for about a month. I want to get it written and available for you to read, too. It’ll change your life. Or at least give you something good to read in the bathroom.
Sew a pillowcase. I came across a tutorial for sewing pillowcases and I can totally do this. I also found the 1 Million Pillowcase Challenge and want to participate (inspired in part by Kerry’s Be The Change Challenge) and want to donate a few towards this so I definitely need to get practicing.

Bonus goal: Keep working on my 5K training. I loathe running. I really do. But I loathe wasting time and money even more, which is why I put my gym membership on hold for a few months (my gym is 30 minutes from my house without traffic. It’s exhausting). I decided that running is free (mostly) and I would give it a try because exercising keeps my issues at bay. My husband and I want to run the Run or Dye 5K in July at the Dover Speedway so my fat ass needs to be in some sort of training for that. I downloaded an app to help so I don’t even need to figure out how to train.

Do you set monthly goals? What are some of yours?

Defining success YOUR way

Summer reading list recap and other stuff

July goals and June goals recap

Goals, goals, and more goals

It’s goal time!

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