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Living life from cover to cover

Choose Your Own Adventure: February recap and March goals 

by Jana 10 Comments

How the hell did February fly by so quickly? I don’t know if it has something to do with it only being 28 days or if they all morphed into one long, snowy, cold day but the fact that it’s March is amazing to me.

But with the new month means a new round of goals with Steph, Stephanie, and Ashley and that’s always fun. I love the theme of this month, too: relationships. We’ll get to that in a minute. For now, though, let’s recap how I did on my February create goals.

GoalSettingLinkup

I only had 3–write my 40 by 40 list, write my already done list, and create my recipe binder. Then, if time permitted, I was going to edit some of the stories my husband has written for our daughter. Let me be honest and upfront. I did not do any editing of those stories. They need it, badly, but I’ll have to work on those another time.

For the other three, I did them all! Well, mostly. You can read the 40 by 40 list and the All These Things That I’ve Done list and, as for the recipe binder, I did clean it out but because my laptop will not connect to our printer, I couldn’t print any of the ones I want to add. I did, however, make a list of all the recipes I want to print and/or hand write and put in the binder (mostly family favorites and a few others I want to try) so it’s a half-pass.

Of note from the list (only one side is pictured. And I don’t know if the spots are water stains, bacon grease stains or something else)–my family eats an extraordinary amount of foods with ranch dressing in them. And chicken.

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So, yay for me conquering February! I even started working out again as a way of creating a healthy routine for myself so that’s a bonus.

Now, March.

This one is a great topic and one I need to commit to. I’m great at spending time with my husband and my daughter sans technology and I’m pretty good at playing with my dogs, too. The cat is an asshole so she doesn’t count. I don’t have too many friends but the ones I do, I’m pretty good about seeing or talking to when my life isn’t held hostage by cheerleading (and I’m even making friends with the other parents! Who knew?). The one area I do fail in as far as relationships is with my parents, my grandmother, and my little sister.

I do not call, text, visit, or speak to them often enough. Granted, from August-April, time is stretched thin for face to face visits but there’s no reason I can’t pick up the phone and call or text my sister. I also need to make sure that I’m texting/calling/seeing some friends a bit more than I do.

That being said, my goals for March are:

  1. Call my grandmother at least twice.
  2. Speak to my mom and dad every week.
  3. Text my little sister at least twice (I speak to my middle sister pretty often and we’re going to Disney with her, my brother-in-law, and nephew in April so she gets a pass)
  4. Make plans with friends I haven’t seen in awhile (looking at you, Steph!)
  5. Get better about responding to emails from other bloggers

These are not difficult goals but ones that I can accomplish as long as I try and make the effort.

Now I leave you with an ecard that has a quote I first heard from my friend Marcy back in college and it’s still hilarious

Are you guys making any relationship goals for March? What are they?

 

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My 40 by 40: The official list

by Jana 41 Comments

As one of my goals for the Choose Your Own Adventure February theme of complete, I decided I would finally complete my 40 by 40 list. I mean, every day is a day closer I am to 40 and that’s just one less day to work on it (I’m within spitting distance, if spitting distance is just over 2 years) and since the clock is ticking, I got my shit together and created the list.

I really struggled with what to put on it because if I’m being totally honest, I am not a daredevil. I have no less than zero interest in skydiving, bungee jumping, climbing a mountain, riding a motorcycle, or anything that might maim me. Except parasailing but I feel like I’m too fat to do that. In fact, I have a whole separate list devoted to weird reasons I want to lose weight and that’s one that’s on it (let me know if you want that list. I’m happy to share. Meh. Maybe I’ll share it anyway. It’s pretty amusing).

Anyway.

When you’re not thrill seeking, or athletic, and have zero aspirations to achieve either of those, rounding out the list is pretty difficult. I managed to do it, though! Here’s what it looks like in no particular order and no specific grouping (although I probably should categorize them at some point for easier tracking):

 

 

 

40 by 40

  1. Publish a book
  2. Visit the UK
  3. Get to my ideal weight (one that I’ve decided)
  4. Learn French
  5. Visit Salem, MA
  6. Take a cross country drive (preferably in a convertible)
  7. Volunteer somewhere meaningful to me
  8. Visit the Cherry Blossom Festival in Washington DC
  9. Attend an art gallery show
  10. See Jimmy Fallon live
  11. Read through the Bible
  12. Take a dance class
  13. Write a screenplay (not to have it produced. Just to have it written)
  14. Vacation in Myrtle Beach, SC
  15. Sew an apron or blanket. Maybe both.
  16. Watch the AFI top 100 movies list (the 66 I have not yet seen)
  17. Go to a drive-in theater
  18. Relearn how to play an instrument (I used to play piano and guitar)
  19. Stay in a log cabin
  20. Go to an MLB All Star game or World Series game
  21. Sit in on a Supreme Court hearing
  22. Be debt free (again)
  23. Eat a farm to table restaurant
  24. Swim with dolphins
  25. Host a murder mystery party
  26. Give $100 tip to a server
  27. Adopt a family at Christmas
  28. Make candy from scratch
  29. Get a hot stone massage (this a big deal for me as I hate massages)
  30. Go to the top of the Empire State Building
  31. Be an extra in a movie
  32. Have a Twitter conversation with a celebrity (that lasts longer than a one tweet reply to something I said)
  33. Have a blog post go viral
  34. Read a classic novel (yes, Kristen, I will consider Pride and Prejudice)
  35. Read a book of poetry
  36. See a nonmusical Broadway show
  37. Pay for a stranger’s dinner in a restaurant
  38. Take a cooking class
  39. Visit the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
  40. Visit MLB Hall of Fame

Bonus: speak in public or at a conference for longer than 2 minutes

I have approximately 52 months to get this all done. Some task will be easier to complete than others but it averages out to roughly one activity per month, alloting time to budget, plan and make necessary arrangements for the items that involve travel or learning a skill but overall, it’s a completely realistic list. I aimed high but not so high it’s impossible.

I’m excited to get started. This should be a fun adventure. Even if turning 40 scares the shit out of me.

Do you have a list like this? If so, what did you put on it? Have you done any of these? What should I do first?

 

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Choose Your Own Adventure: January recap and February goals

by Jana 26 Comments

So remember last month when I set all kinds of ambitious goals for January’s theme of complete? Remember I said I wanted to edit my book, start a newsletter, update the photos in my living room, and update the decor in my daughter’s playroom?

Yeah. Me, too. I think the high of the freshness and possibility of the new year had kicked in and I was feeling extra motivated. Then, you know, the high wore off and I shit the bed on all of the goals. Well, three of them. I opted out of doing the newsletter for now because I just don’t have the energy right now to take on a new project. So quitting technically isn’t failing.

That’s what I’m telling myself, anyway.

As far as the book, I did write the summary and started combining bits and pieces and scraps into one cohesive story (sort of), and I’ve written some new content. So it’s both a pass and a fail on this one.

With the photos and the decor, I know what I want to do. And there’s no reason except my own laziness that I haven’t done it. I mean, lack of funds isn’t helping but it’s mostly due to my own lack of motivation. So that’s a huge fail.

You know what I did manage to complete? Seven books, 3 seasons of Rescue Me, 1 season of SouthLAnd, some laundry, our February budget, and going to approximately 2934073 doctor appointments (not to mention scheduling a shit ton more). And I managed to stick to my new blogging schedule.

So I didn’t totally suck at life during January but I didn’t succeed either. Neutral will have to do at this point.

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But now it’s February. A new month, a new theme–create. Since I can’t handle failing for another month, I decided that I’d limit myself to only three things to create and absolutely none of them will involve arts and crafts. I need to do stuff that will not intimidate me nor make me cry at the thought of doing them. That said, here’s what I’m creating in February:

  1. My 40 x 40 list. I’ve wanted to do one of these for awhile and I’m finally doing it. Well, truth be told, since Steph is gracious enough to give us the themes in advance, I knew this was something I wanted to do this month and I’ve already completed this one. If you guys are interested, I’ll be happy to share what I put on it.
  2. My “already done” list. When I was researching what others put on their age related bucket lists, I realized how fortunate I’ve been thus far in my life and how much I’ve actually done. In a way to not feel so pathetic regarding the current state of my affairs, I think it’ll be helpful to look at how much I’ve done. If you guys are interested, I can share that list, too.
  3. A recipe binder. Technically, I already have one of these but it desperately needs an overhaul, including removing recipes we’ll never try and adding ones we love. I’ve been having trouble with Pinterest (where I get the bulk of my recipes) crashing as well as finding dead links and I don’t want to keep having these problems. So back to the old school paper method we go.

If time and motivation permit, as well as permission from my husband, I’ll start editing the short stories my husband writes for our daughter because I want to have them put in a printed book (he has a blog where he writes them now). If anyone can draw and wants to help with some illustrations, I’d love to talk to you. I can’t draw for shit.

So that’s what my month looks like. How about you guys? What are you creating in February?

 

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I’m Having a Me Party: 8 activities to do alone

by Jana 32 Comments

Sing it, Piggy and Amy!

As I get older, and as I get crankier and possibly more introverted, I’ve become a lot less tolerant of other people. I find it frustrating to make plans only to have them canceled last minute or worse, stood up, and it’s gotten quite annoying to sit in my house more than I care to because people are assholes. So I’ve been practicing doing things by myself and you know what?

I LIKE IT.

It’s nice to just pick up and go and do what I want and not give a shit about other people’s feelings or agendas or even have to listen to their petty problems or complaints. Don’t get me wrong. I still enjoy socializing with friends and going on dates with my husband and planning family activities but sometimes, when I want to do stuff, I’m okay going at it alone.

8 ACTIVITIESTO TRY ALONE (AT LEAST ONCE) (2)
There are still some things, like going to bars or walking on a dark, empty city street or meet anyone from Craigslist to buy anything, that I will not do alone mostly because I am paranoid and fear that I’ll, you know, be murdered, but the more I force myself to do it, the more I’m learning to do certain activities alone. Activities like:

  1. Shopping. Sure, I like to bring a fashion conscious friend along when I do some actual shopping, mainly for necessity, but for regular things like books or yoga pants or shoes, it’s easier to go alone. I get to take my sweet time, look at everything and anything I want, without worrying if I’m boring my companion.
  2. Manicures and pedicures. On the rare occasions I treat myself to one or both of these, I find it much more relaxing to do it by myself. No small talk, just pampering and eavesdropping on the other customers who have not been so smart as to go solo. Or those who have and talk loudly on their cell phones. They’re asking for it. #sorrynotsorry
  3. Traveling. Specifically, long car rides. I do some of my best thinking when I’m driving (and by “thinking” I really mean “sing like a rock star very loudly and off-key”) and having others in the car really impedes my ability to do that.
  4. Attend conferences. My husband does not understand blogging and having him along at a blog conference would ruin my ability to enjoy myself and catch up with friends I only see once a year.
  5. Go to the movies. It is nice to go on movie dates with my husband. However, we have completely different tastes in movies and sometimes, I want to see something that he’d rather not. So I go alone. And it is glorious. Particularly in the middle of the day, during the week. I highly recommend it.
  6. Go to the bathroom. Remember when you had to bring a friend with you because that was perfect gossip time? Well, I suppose that still applies in some circumstances but after the last 8 years of peeing with an audience, I relish in the chance to do my business without an extra set of eyes.
  7. Eat in restaurants. This used to scare the shit out of me. Then I did it a couple of times and now, it’s totally fine. Especially when I bring a book. Because not only do I look completely unobtrusive, but the book scares of anyone who might talk to me and I can be nosy without looking like I’m being nosy. It’s basically a perfect situation.
  8. Exercise. When I was in my Zumba obsessed phase, I learned to go to classes by myself because a) I didn’t know anyone at the gym and b) the people I did know outside of the gym wouldn’t go to the classes with me. But I wanted to go so I went anyway. And I survived and now, I actually enjoy working out by myself. Like driving alone, it gives me a chance to clear my head.

Having some alone time is great. It not only clears your head but it makes you appreciate the time you spend with others that much more because, now that you know you can be by yourself, it’s a choice to give that time to your family and friends.

It took me a long time to be okay with doing this stuff. Mainly because I suffer from low self-esteem and feared people would judge me or look at me funny but you know what I learned? No one actually gives a shit. No one is looking at me. No one is judging me. They’re there, wherever it is, for themselves. They’re not worried about me. And if you’re like I used to be, afraid to do things alone, don’t be. Just try it once. Start small and work your way up.

Trust me. You’ll learn to love it.

Especially if you have kids.

Then it’s like a vacation.

And it’s better than hiding in the bathroom faking a bout of diarrhea.

Not that I’ve ever done that.

How about you guys? Are there any activities you prefer to do alone or you’ve learned to enjoy doing alone?

 

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Confession: My big, scary goal

by Jana 41 Comments

According to my blog planner, I was supposed to start my cheer mom series today. However, my blog planner is sort of turning into a speed limit sign; it’s a guideline rather than an absolute. So instead of starting the series today, I’m going to backtrack to a post I’ve had in draft for awhile and confess something that makes me nervous.

One of the tasks from the Intentional Blogging Challenge I quasi-participated in last month was vulnerability. To confess something. That’s not really a problem for me since I’m all about sharing my weaknesses and imperfections and what I’m learning as I muddle through my daily life, trying to figure it all out. However. There’s one thing that I’ve leaked out in drips and drabs but I’ve never fully explained.

That thing is my big, hairy, scary goal. What I’ve been dreaming about since second grade when my teacher was shocked by the fact that, at 7, I knew how to properly use an ellipses.

goals

That goal? To write a book that’s published in paper and is available for sale in real, brick and mortar bookstores (what’s left of them, anyway).

But it’s so much more than that.

I want a literary agent. I want a PR agent. Basically, I want “people”.

I want my books to be on the New York Times bestseller list.

I want at least one of my books to be developed into a movie.

I want a multi-book deal with a traditional publishing house.

I want to do a multi-city book tour (and I have all the cities picked out, too, so really, it’s all about having the book to sell since I make a great travel planner. See, agents? Part of your job is done for you).

I want to have TV appearances (I think. I’m not 100% committed to this one yet. But it is a reason why I’m working so hard to lose weight. Need to look good on camera).

I want to reply “I’m a writer” when people ask me what I do for a living (I’m mean, technically I can tell people that but I’d like to have a paycheck to back it up).

I want to finally achieve the goal I set for myself all those years ago so I can tell that little girl “we did it”. She had big dreams back then. It’s up to me to honor them so if I ever have a time machine, I can go back and tell her that no matter how she feels, she shouldn’t quit (unless older me meeting second grade me causes some weird sort of Back to the Future/space-time continuum rift in which case, second grade me is shit out of luck and she’s on her own until she’s 37).

Now that I can admit my goal, I can stop hiding behind it and being evasive about it, it’s time to actually start working towards it (this is the part where I get stuck and all the terrible voices start talking to me, convincing me I shouldn’t do bother, so I clearly need to work through this, too). goals 2Because I know that none of this will fall into my lap. Much as I’d like, the outlook does not look good that I’ll have a post go viral and come to the minds and eyes of all the people who can help me make my dream come true. Nope. Instead I need to rely on my own discipline, hard work, commitment, and the little bit of talent I have.

Basically, it’s up to me. And I have a ton of work ahead of me.

But I have a list. I have tasks, short term goals, things to do, people to connect with, and a whole lot of time I need to put in to make this happen.

I’ll do it, though.

It’s too important not to.

If I can just get out of my own way.

Do you guys have a big, scary goal? What is it? Is there anything I can do to help you achieve it?

 

Linking up with Liz

The Hump Day Blog Hop

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