Unless you live under a rock (in which case, you’re most likely warmer than I am right now), you’ve heard that, in some places, it’s freaking cold out. You’re probably sick of hearing about it. You’re probably tired of seeing pictures about it. You probably want it to go away.
I’m right there with you (despite the fact that tomorrow’s post is also about the cold weather. No shame, folks. No shame).
To make it more bearable, even for those of you who deign to live in warmer places, I’ve devised a handy little game. Okay, fine. It’s a drinking game. And it goes a little something like this:
Open your Facebook news feed. Scroll through it. Yep, this game makes FB useful.
For every status update about cold weather, have one drink.
For every status update about snow, have one drink.
For every link or shared update from a news outlet about snow and/or the cold weather, have one drink.
For every status update from someone who lives in a warm place showing off about how it is not cold or snowing where they live, have one drink and vow to stop talking to that person.
For every picture of snow, have two drinks.
For every picture of a child playing in snow or coming in from the snow, have two drinks and be glad that’s not your kid because there are few things more annoying than disrobing a child who’s been playing in the snow.
For every picture of a family posing happily by a fireplace or drinking hot chocolate or looking otherwise pleasant and not all miserable that they’re stuck in all that snow and ice age weather, have three drinks and tell yourself that they’re probably lying and that not 5 minutes ago, they were all probably fighting because who doesn’t fight after they’ve been stuck in a house together for days on end.
There are no rules about the kind of alcohol you use or what constitutes one drink. We’re all adults. You may use your own judgment.
If you feel any remorse about playing this game in the middle of the day, you can choose to wait until evening or you can consider it a way of organizing and purging all the alcohol in your house, something you’ve been meaning to do but never quite have the time. It’s about efficiency and organization, folks, and also, don’t people keep warmer when they’re drinking? Consider this a way of staying warm without increasing your heating bill. Frugality FTW! Just something to think about.
If you’d prefer, use Instagram instead of Facebook. How drunk you’d like to be will probably dictate this choice.
You can also put your own twist on this by adding in Twitter
That’s it. Hope you have fun. Happy drinking!
PSA: Be responsible. If you’re drinking, don’t drive. And if the roads are really bad where you live, don’t drive. And, under no circumstances, should you ever drive on bad roads after you’ve been drinking. I know we all know this but just in case anyone out there needed reminding.
