Jana Says

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Tuesday confessional brain dump

by Jana 33 Comments

Sometimes my mind is a messy, disorganized place (kind of like my laundry room. And my living room. And my to-read list). And sometimes, in order to get everything back in order, I need to do a massive brain dump, like how you need to make a bigger mess of your closet in order to organize it.

So consider this a confessional brain dump of sorts (on a Tuesday because I’m not even sure if the Wednesday confessions linkup even exists anymore since Kathy abandoned us stopped doing it):

  • Sometimes I get mad at my husband for things he does in my dreams.
  • I really need to put a GoPro on my cat because WHERE THE FUCK DOES SHE GO ALL DAY?!
  • Are there people who actually wash, dry, fold, and put away laundry all in the same day?
  • Despite the fact that Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, I’d really like to skip ahead to mid-December. Too much pain this year.
  • Common Core math is absolute bullshit and I totally teach my daughter to do math the way I learned. Mostly because I can’t understand what she’s learning at school.
  • Speaking of the child, I’m totally half-assing her Halloween costume this year. I mean, I mostly half-ass it every year but this year, she’s going as a vet. I’m even trying to talk her out of the zombie makeup she wants so she can be a zombie vet because OMG, I just can’t.
  • I get abnormally excited when I see Lou Diamond Phillips in new movies and TV shows.
  • Speaking of TV, I’ve been watching The Flash with the child because WENTWORTH MILLER IS BACK ON TV. Also, he’s in two shows that’ll be on next year. All is right with the world and his beautiful face is the only way to get me to watch anything superhero or comic book related.
  • This Saturday, we’re supposed to go to an after trick-or-treating party at a neighbor’s house but World Series. I’m seriously plotting a way to use that so I don’t have to go. The Husband says they’ll have the game on. But they are all Phillies fans. I can’t deal with that nonsense.
  • You know how they have all those clips of movie scenes of people dancing and people with skills take the clips and merge them into one long video set to songs like “Shut Up and Dance”? I want someone to do one of all the times celebrities fall down. Then I want People magazine or another tabloid to use that in their “Celebrities Are Just Like Us” section. I don’t care what they buy at Whole Foods. I want to see them trip and land on their faces or do the trip and run. THAT would make me feel kindred.
  • I have about 203473234 tabs of posts and articles I want to read open on my phone. Instead of reading them, I keep opening more. It’s a sickness.
  • I am abnormally good at Clue. I’m not sure what to make of this discovery.
  • I feel this way about a ridiculous amount of people lately:

Anything you’d like to share with me?
 

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I don’t care enough to think of a clever title

by Jana 44 Comments

to do list fuckWhile I try to pay attention to pop culture, and thanks to Facebook and Instagram and Twitter and all the other place, I know more about it than I probably should, there’s a whole lot I simply don’t care about. And whether not caring makes me old or weird or snobby or not snobby enough or some combination of those or something else, I just cannot bring myself to give any shits to things like:

  • The new Twilight book. I never read the original ones, never saw the movies, and this one will fall into the deep recesses of my memory in the file “things I once knew but didn’t care enough to remember”.
  • Anything related to Harry Potter (sorry, Amanda).
  • The news Star Wars movie.
  • Football. Fantasy football. Football weather. Fuck football. (I’ve said this before, in a similar post I’ve written. There might be some repeats. We can put that on the list of things I don’t care about, too.)
  • Gilmore Girls being on Netflix. Or the possible planned reunion. See also: most other late 90s, early 00s shows.
  • The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, Scandal, Empire, any reality show, and a whole host of others. I like my TV but those don’t do it for me.
  • How much money other people make at their jobs. If you make good money, good for you. If you don’t, I’m sorry (but if you’re making it work, then I am impressed and you should share what you’re doing because many can learn from you). But it’s not a competition and we’re all adults and your paycheck doesn’t determine your worth in my life. See also: blogging stats. There are zero fucks to give. 
  • Playboy doing away with nude photographs. I feel like this is something I should care about but…meh. gaga fuck
  • Celebrities’ opinions on societal inequities or politics or whatever. Do I like when they share their personal struggles? Yes. Do I like when they actively try to make a difference? Yes. But do I care what they think when they’re not dealing with an issue or exerting any effort to affect change and they’re talking because they’re self-important douchecanoes? No.
  • What people I randomly follow on Twitter are sharing. I turned OFF my notifications. Why you still telling me, Twitter?
  • When my husband gets a haircut. Sorry, husband. I love but your haircuts do nothing for me. I care more when you shave. Because no one wants to kiss stubble. give-a-fuck-o-meter

What are some things that make you say I don’t give a fuck?

 

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Sometimes I get…

by Jana 46 Comments

Sometimes I get:

Frustrated at always being on a budget

Disgusted with my wardrobe

Jealous of people who can travel anywhere, anytime, free from obligations, money worries, or any other constraint

Annoyed that my house is never as clean as I’d like it to be

Angry that I had a miscarriage and even angrier that it’s so damn hard for me to get pregnant

Overwhelmed at all the adulting I need to do every day

Tired of making choices and decisions

Hangry

Sad about past hurts and angry at how they’ve changed me

Irked with myself for not having enough hustle and discipline

Wistful for all the books I’ll never get around to reading and the places I’ll never get around to visiting no matter how hard I try

Disappointed with myself

Unnecessarily irritated by bad grammar, poor manners, and terrible driving

Caught up in comparing myself to other people

Embarrassed to have people in my home

Homesick for New York even though it’s been almost 20 years since I lived there

Lonely

Discouraged with blogging and writing

Irrationally enraged at small things like chipped nail polish, zippers that won’t close properly, stains that appear on my clothes after they’ve gone through the wash, and pens with light ink

Distracted from what’s important

I don’t deny myself feeling any of these. I think it’s normal to feel any or all of these at some point and if you say you don’t ever feel any of them, or something not so wonderful that’s not on the list, I don’t know that I believe you. No one feels 100% happy and perfect all the time. If you do, you need to share your secrets. Honestly. You can make 80 billion dollars off of that.

It’s important to me to own my emotions, whatever they might be, and deal with them. And after I deal with them, it makes me realize that my life isn’t really that bad and I get over myself and move on (except being appalled by poor grammar, bad manners, and terrible driving. And laundry stains. Seriously. Why are stains appearing on my clothes after they’ve been washed?)

Because while I’m spending time and energy focusing on all the things that are wrong, it’s time and energy I’m taking away from focusing on what’s right. adding

 

 

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This week in…: Volume 20

by Jana 22 Comments

this week

This week in reading…Finished Dept. of Speculation, started Forever, Interrupted, and still trying to work through Alex Woods. I want to like it but I think it might wind up as a DNF for me. And thank you to the 30+ bloggers who participated in this month’s Show Us Your Books linkup and the next one is July 14. Mark your calendars now!

This week in TV…Orange is the New Black season 3!!! That is all.

This week in confessions…Last Friday was my birthday and, as you know, people come out of the Facebook woodwork to say happy birthday. That is, of course, you’re related to me, in which case you completely ignore the fact that I’m celebrating my birthday. I might not know which of my friends said it but family? I totally keep track.

This week in things that I did…A few months ago, I was interviewed for Media Shower’s blog about all kinds of things like blogging and saving money. You can check out the interview here. I also finally got myself a bit organized with my library book due dates (no more fines for me) and the Interview with a Bookworm series? I have plans for a spin-off. Details coming soon.

This week in cooking…I made easy homemade macaroni and cheese. No one in my family likes it so that means it’s all for me. Fat girl win!tumblr_mt804y2frY1rqfhi2o1_250

This week in things that are awesome…and also why animals are better than people. Did you read the story about the service dog who JUMPED IN FRONT OF A BUS to protect his blind owner? I can think of  one person I’d do that for and she came out of my body.

This week in internet reads…Scary Mommy was on point with the posts about the struggle of the introverted mother and why I use the f word. Then I read this post on Thought Catalog about 17 things that happen when you’re extremely motivated but also extremely lazy. And there was this post about the effects of fiction on the brain which cited all kinds of studies but really left me wondering how I get a job as a test subject for a study of people reading. And because dogs, especially Bichons because, you know, I have two, I loved this senior dog’s advice to younger dogs.

This week in funnies…FullSizeRender (5) FullSizeRender (6) FullSizeRender (4) FullSizeRender (3)

 

Have a great and wonderful and fun weekend! If you’re watching OITNB, let me know so we can discuss! If you actually have a life and don’t care about OITNB or don’t feel the need to watch every single episode in 2 days then I’m a little jealous of you. See you on Monday!

 

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#thingsicantdo

by Jana 41 Comments

I might have done a post like this before but I can’t remember so I’m doing it again and maybe one day I’ll go back through all my posts and delete duplicates because I really need to clean up this little blog space of mine.

And now, for your reading pleasure, here’s a list of things I can’t do:

Whistle. Also, the sound of whistling makes me crazy. #auralassault #itmightbejealousy

Snap my fingers. It’s even more embarrassing when I meet a child who can and shows me up. #noonelikesashowoff

Drink wine. I could at one point. Then there was an incident. It involved a Home Depot bucket, barfing on my neighbor’s lawn (sorry, Dave and Krista), and passing out in a bar’s bathroom. #didnthappeninmytwenties

Cook a pie from scratch. And I have tried. The expression “easy as pie”? All lies. #storeboughtisfinesometimes

Understand more than 6 consecutive words in any Beastie Boys song released after 1990. I usually don’t have a problem understanding song lyrics. Their songs mystify me. #butisingalonganyway

Fall asleep without reading at least 10 pages of a book. My day doesn’t feel complete unless I’ve read at least a few pages and not reading makes it even more difficult to sleep. #readingisfundamental

Go a day without quoting a movie. #itsaproblem

Do a smoky eye, curl my hair properly, or use bronzer. This is why I look pale and tragic, my hair is always a mess, and I have worn my eye shadow the same way since roughly 1992. #butthebigbangsaregone

Use modern day slang and sound acceptable when I do it. #toooldtocare

Reach things in high places. #shortpeopleproblems

Run or jump. #bigboobproblems

Not get excited about my birthday. It’s next Friday and I’m already planning all the free things I’m going to get. #freeforthewin

Now that you know some of my limitations, tell me some of yours. What can’t you do?

 

Linking up for #hashtaghumpday

#Hashtaghumpday @ Life with Lolo

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