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A list of things I can’t stand including thinking of post titles

March 24, 2016 by Jana 16 Comments

Just about two years ago, I wrote a confessions post about some pretty substantive things that make my angry. As I’m suffering from minor writer’s block/idea deficiency and also I’m already in vacation mode (we leave for Boston in less than a week!), I decided that it’d be a good idea to update that list except with really small petty things that annoy me rather than things that are major or important because that’s how I’m feeling right now. It’s also an accompaniment to this post about all my pet peeves which made me realize I should do a post about all the things I love so I don’t always come across like a curmudgeonly old man.

So, here’s a not at all complete list of things I hate (also known as major first world problems):

  • Oranges and all of its related orange-citrus brethren.
  • Horses. Keep them away from me, please and thank you.
  • Hangers that are all askew and face different directions. Not to mention when they’re mixed with wire hangers.
  • Punctuation abuse. Especially on professional signs. Guess what? If you say you’re “licensed and insured”, we’re not doing business.
  • Seeing someone in a movie or on TV and not being able to remember where I’ve seen them before.
  • Thinking of titles for posts.
  • Typing in a password and being told it’s wrong even though I know it’s right. And while we’re on the password subject, being asked to change it every few months or so. NO, M&T Bank, I don’t want to do that. I can barely remember this one and now you want me to have a new one?
  • Bad handwriting on feedback forms. How can I fix what’s wrong if I can’t read what you wrote? (I don’t have a problem with bad handwriting in general. Just when I need to read it).
  • Finding a movie on HBO and coming in halfway and then wanting to record the next showing because who wants to start a movie they’ve never seen in the middle only to find out that this is the only showing. WHY YOU TEASE ME, HBO?
  • Realizing a dog who’s not my dog has shit in my yard and the lazy ass owner didn’t pick it up. It’s all fun and games until someone steps in dog shit and tracks it in the house.
  • Speaking of dogs, why does my dog wait until I’m actually and finally comfortable to whine at me that he needs to go out even after I’ve just let him out and he chooses not to do anything except walk around and bother the cat?
  • This little piece of my car door that won’t attach to the rest of the door and flaps in the wind when I’m driving.
  • The term “hack” as in “life hacks”, “productivity hacks”, “cooking hacks”. Can’t we change it up with “shortcuts” or something else? I also hate the terms “solopreneur” and “lady boss”.
  • That iTunes will not let me change my user ID. Fuck you, iTunes.
  • Bad people like the Duggars getting second chances. Look, I’m all for giving second chances but not in the manner that they’re getting. I felt the same way about Michael Vick. He did his time, paid his penance, whatever you want to call it, and he totally deserved to be given a job and all of that but not in the manner that he did. If you do something as bad or reprehensible as the Duggars or Vick, then you should not be put in a position where people use you as a role model. Yes, you can argue that they deserve adulation because they reformed but let’s be honest, have the Duggars truly reformed? Have they apologized for all the hate they’ve spewed or the hypocrisy in which they’ve conducted their lives? Have they adjusted their beliefs after seeing the damage its done to their family? No, they have not. So maybe thrusting them back into the spotlight with millions of dollars and paid vacations and all that jazz is blatantly wrong. And shame on TLC for giving it to them. And shame on me for writing about it and giving them even more attention. (You sort of knew this rant was coming, right?) But I still fucking hate them.
  • The Oregon Trail app no longer works on my iPad.
  • Being told I need to drink wine. No. I don’t like wine. I will stick with my beer.
  • Fees attached to buying concert tickets. Really, they’re expensive enough. Why do I need to pay an extra $40 billion in processing fees? And what exactly is a “processing fee”? Sounds like a scam to me.
  • Website design. I need to design two websites as well as a complete makeover for this one and while I’m good at content, I’m terrible at design and I can’t afford to pay someone to do my designs. Awesome for me. But thankfully Fiverr exists so I can get a few things done there for cheap until I can afford something better.

Let’s end this on something I don’t hate. Another episode of The Armchair Librarians! This time we talk about finding time to read and assorted other topics because reading rabbit holes are easy to find when you’re me and Steph. A few things: one, this is one of the websites I need to design. Two, there’s a terrible echo towards the middle and end of the recording that makes it sound like Steph is in a bathroom even though to my knowledge she isn’t and I can’t edit it out so we apologize for that. Three, I finally figured out how to get this thing in iTunes so it should be there next week. Four, we have a few tweaks we’re making to the quality of the podcast so look out for those in upcoming shows (read: not this one or the next).new_logo_edit

 

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: confessions, lists, random

Confessions of a reading life

March 15, 2016 by Jana 26 Comments

Last week, I wrote about the basic rules for my life. This week, we’ll focus on the basic rules for my reading life because, let’s face it, I spend more time with my face in a book than I do in real life #noshame 

I don’t know if these are more confessions or commandments so maybe we’ll say that they’re a hybrid (confessmandments? commandessions?) but regardless, these are how I approach my reading choices and decisions and general rules for being a reader:

  • The darker a book, the more I will be drawn to read it
  • I am not opposed to any specific genre of book unless it is romance. I do not like romance (think Danielle Steel, Jackie Collins, etc) at all. In fact, it’s probably the only genre I purposefully avoid and I get slightly ragey when someone recommends a romance book to me
  • If I like one book by an author, I will binge their backlist and follow on all the social media
  • One hundred pages is my limit. If a book can’t intrigue or grab me by then, we’re breaking up
  • If I have a book on my nightstand and I renew it twice without ever picking it up except to move it to make room for a different book, I most likely will never read it
  • I get fidgety when I have no books on hold at the library
  • I forget I have eBooks #sorryNetGalley #dontkickmeout
  • I usually read two books at once
  • The more uncomfortable I am in a situation, the more I will talk about books. 
  • I am intimidated by classics and they will probably stay on my TBR in perpetuity. 
  • While I am still convinced the book is always better, it’s not as firm of an opinion as it used to be #howdidthishappen #beflexible
  • When someone tells me they didn’t like a book I love, I judge them
  • I generally don’t buy books because a) my child demands food and clothes and if I bought books, she wouldn’t have those and b) I’m so afraid to buy a book in fear that I won’t like it and then spend months being angry I wasted money #buyersremorseisreal
  • I have to physically restrain myself from telling people what books to buy or checkout or offering my opinion on a book they have in their hand #itsabiggerproblemthanyouthink
  • I know my library card number from memory but cannot tell you my sisters’ phone numbers
  • When I am not reading books, I am reading about books #alsoabiggerproblemthanyouthink
  • I do not suffer from FOMO except when it comes to reading books

What are some of your reading confessions? 

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P.S. A big giant happy birthday to Steph! I couldn’t ask for a more awesome friend and co-host and fellow booklover. 

Linking up with Kathy and Nadine (a day early).

confessions button

Filed Under: Books Tagged With: books, confessions, reading

Hey, it’s okay to do my confessions on a Tuesday

January 26, 2016 by Jana 25 Comments

Do you guys know my friend Amber who blogs over at Airing My Laundry? If you don’t know her, you should go stop by and say hi. She likes to read, has a daughter basically the same age as mine (they’re both 3rd graders, but I think my child is like 3 months older than hers), and has an appreciation for the hotness of one John Krasinski.

See for yourself:

John-Krasinki

All fine criteria by my standards.

She also hosts a linkup on Tuesday that I’m joining in this week. It’s called “hey, it’s okay” and it’s basically a brain dump of all the things you should feel guilty or remorseful about but don’t because who has time for those kinds of feelings? Not me. Not right now, anyway, because I haven’t left my house in 4 days and the only feeling I have is insanity. And an even bigger hatred of pants.

And that’s all okay.

Airing My Dirty Laundry

 You know what else is okay?

Forcing my husband to binge watch Mr. Robot, including on Sunday night, knowing he had to get up for work the next morning at a reasonable time. Side note, Mr. Robot is really, REALLY good.

Feeling frustrated with the fact that my daughter has yet another day off of school because of the asshole snow and needing her to get out of my house so I can actually get shit done. Also because I want to watch TV during the day (Master of None isn’t going to watch itself) and I can’t because she watches the one TV that has Netflix.

Sitting on my ass doing essentially nothing while my husband shoveled aforementioned asshole snow. And walked the dogs.

Ringing my neighbor’s doorbell to let them know my cat hangs out in their backyard and, when invited in despite never having met them before, totally scoping out their house and feeling just a smidge better about my housekeeping skills. Which are complete shit, by the way. Which is also okay.

Cheating at Monopoly. Yes, I did it. But in my defense, the husband was playing like a huge dick and I have zero tolerance for that.

Drinking excessive amounts of tea and coffee because it’s fucking cold and I have a Keurig now and it’s just as fun as I imagined.

Watching Straight Outta Compton and realizing that yes, the Oscars completely shit the bed on their nominations this year both in terms of the lack of diversity and not recognizing people who deserve it in favor of people who seem to get nominations based on their names alone. #lookingatyouKateWinslet

Kicking ass at my friend Brynn’s frugality challenge. Even if I don’t win, I have definitely done a much better job of watching my wallet this month. And after the spending orgy known as December, I definitely needed it.

Cursing in basically every paragraph in this post. 

via GIPHY

P.S. I’m also linking up with the amazing Kathy and Nadine for their Humpday Confessions but that’s tomorrow.

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: confessions, linkups

This week in…: Volume 40 because 40 is a nice round number

December 18, 2015 by Jana 16 Comments

this week

Picked up Fortune Smiles, Refund: Stories, and Me After You (finally!). Finished Infinite Home and 4 books for work. Full review on Infinite Home in January’s Show Us Your Books (January 12, 2016) but suffice it to say, it will not be on my list of yearly favorites that’s coming to you on December 29th for the bonus edition of Show Us Your Books. And congrats to Heather on winning our holiday giveaway!

Started watching Master of None and Narcos. I love Netflix’s programming.

Finished Christmas shopping, including the child’s big gift, which is a trip to Boston and the surrounding areas. She is fascinated OBSESSED with Massachusetts so instead of giving her more toys she doesn’t need or will only play with for 2 days, we’re spending the money on a trip to somewhere she desperately wants to go. Boston area friends, any recommendations on relatively reasonably priced places to stay?

Took inventory of my fall projects list. I completed 4/10. Which is shameful. It was going to be its own post but what a waste of words.

I had a really good confession for this week but it fell out of my brain so instead, I’ll confess that, despite the sentiments of the majority of people I know including my own husband, this is how I feel about the new Star Wars movie:FullSizeRender (29)

Read some good internet stuff this week: 101 pop culture references from a Gen X childhood (confession: I don’t know some of these but my excuse is that those of us born between 77-82ish fall into some weird Gen X/Gen Y black hole and maybe they’re from when I was too young to remember shit?), the movers who help women fleeing domestic abuse situations by moving them for free, Book Riot’s 2016 Read Harder book challenge (confession: I have no plans to participate as of now but I do have a couple of those categories in my personal reading challenge. Info on that next week), and the itinerary and photos from this guy’s $213 trip across America (confession: I want to do this).

Planned a blog redesign, content and visual, for this here space for early next year. Just need to find the money or the skills to get it done.

Funnies:IMG_1587 IMG_1586 FullSizeRender (30)

Coming up next week: Judging Covers (which was supposed to go live this week but we all know by now my posting scheduling never goes as planned) and my 2016 personal reading challenge. But first, a weekend filled with The Nutcracker, a birthday party, and a viewing of The Polar Express on an actual train. Look for pictures on Instagram, provided I remember to take them.

Have a great weekend!

 

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: books, confessions, Entertainment, favorites, weekly wrap-up

A Whole30 experience: An interview with myself

December 15, 2015 by Jana 26 Comments

Once I realized I wanted to recap my Whole30 experience for you guys, I figured the best way to do it was to interview myself with some of the most common questions I’ve been asked. Warning: it’s a lot of words. There’s a TL;DR summary at the bottom. 

Let me know if you have any questions I didn’t answer!whole30

Why did you choose to do a Whole30?

For me, it was more of a mental challenge than anything else. I’d been feeling off, like I couldn’t successfully complete any goal I set, and I figured if I could get through one of these, especially through Thanksgiving, anything else would seem easy. Or, at the very least, less insurmountable. The weight loss and health benefits were a bonus but more incidental side effects.

Okay, that all makes sense. But what the hell is a Whole30?

You can visit the website for an actual, technical definition and explanation but in Jana’s words, it’s a 30 day restrictive, paleo, elimination eating plan. Basically, you avoid grains, dairy, legumes, and sugars and any sweeteners (including honey and maple syrup). It leaves meats, eggs, potatoes (a new addition this year), fruits, vegetables, and various substitutes/changes like almond and coconut flour, coconut milk, spaghetti squash, etc.

With all those limitations, what did you eat? 

Eggs. A lot of fucking eggs. In fact, I am so damn sick of eggs I can’t even look at them right now. But for lunches and dinners, we ate bunless burgers with baked sweet potatoes, vegetable soup using broth made from the stock created when you cook a chicken, coconut chicken patties, spaghetti squash and meat sauce (made with my frozen garden tomatoes), stuffed peppers using ground turkey and cauliflower rice, fried “rice” (also using cauliflower rice)…things like that. We got pretty creative and there are a ton of resources on Pinterest and Instagram and the interwebs to help. We found ourselves eating some surprisingly delicious recipes despite not being able to use normal, typical ingredients.

It was easier to make substitutions than I thought it would be. For instance, cranberry sauce is a family favorite at Thanksgiving but the recipe I ordinarily use requires a lot (A LOT) of sugar so obviously that was out this year. I found a recipe that used only cranberries, frozen cherries, and apple juice (fruit juices are okay as sweeteners). Let me just say that this recipe kicked the ever loving shit out of my normal recipe and going forward, it’s the one we’re going to use at all the holidays. Same with guacamole. I dipped carrots and peppers in the guac instead of chips. Same avocado deliciousness, less bloat, more fiber.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that, for the most part, I was never hungry. There were days I didn’t snack so by the time dinner rolled round, I was willing to gnaw on anything that wasn’t nailed down but if I remembered to have a snack, I never got those horrible hunger pangs you hear from people when they’re on a diet. It has to do with the real, whole, unprocessed qualities of the foods you’re eating. There is such a difference between this way of eating and what the Whole30 founders call the “Standard American Diet” (SAD)

Was it hard? 

In a word? YES. Oddly, though, it was harder during the second half of the month than it was in the beginning. In the beginning, there was momentum and hey, I’m really doing this! But then it just started to drag. I grew tired of planning everything. I wanted to eat something that wasn’t chicken or a vegetable. Or an egg. I wanted peanut butter or cheese with my afternoon apple. I wanted to stop going to the grocery store every few days. I wanted to bring in dinner when I didn’t feel like cooking. I wanted to stop being conscious of every single label and just eat. But then I remembered why I was doing it and how different I felt and it made it easy to power through.

Thanksgiving was way easier than I’d anticipated, though, so that was nice.

There seems to be so many perks to this. Are there any downfalls?

Absolutely! While you can’t deny the health benefits of moving away from the SAD, this is not an easy way to eat. Many of the foods are more expensive, it requires extensive meal planning and there’s none of that “hey, we’re out and about, let’s just grab something quick” (or, if you choose to do it, there are very few options), you will spend an obscene amount of time in the kitchen either every day or once a week to prep for the whole week, and it gets boring. Especially breakfast. As I mentioned earlier, I am ridiculously sick of eggs. I know that a lot of people who’ve done this use their leftovers for breakfast but that’s what the husband takes for lunch so it really left eggs. I would have loved to make muffins or a bread using an acceptable flour substitute but almost every recipe called for syrup or honey which is verboten during the 30 days.

After 30 days of drastically altering how you eat, you must have learned a thing or two. What are some of the lessons you took away from it?

First, I learned which foods trigger my stomach issues. I’ve had stomach problems for as long as I can remember (remember how I had to have a colonoscopy?) and working through a Whole30 helped pinpoint which ones really bother me. Second, I learned that sugar is in basically everything. EVERYTHING. Even places where you don’t think it should be, it’s there and now, I check labels like a fiend. Third, I learned that I do really well achieving goals when I have strict parameters and deadlines. And fourth, I learned that I do even better when I have an accountability partner (thanks, husband!).

But the big lesson I learned is that people are willing to support me. Asking for help and being public with my goals is something I struggle with big time. I live in a weird world in my head where people will judge me and ridicule me and wonder what the fuck I’m doing telling them all this crap. Which is weird because I love when people share their goals because I find it inspiring and I enjoy watching their progress (and supporting them along the way) yet I can’t do it for myself. When I mentioned I was doing a Whole30 and shared some pictures of my food, I received mostly supportive comments. It floored me. I now need to take that lesson and run away with it.

Now the big question. How much weight did you lose?

I lost 10 pounds during the challenge, along with a few inches. It’s more than some people lose, less than others. The founders of the challenge encourage you not to check the scale or worry about losing weight but for me, I need to see that progress to keep going (some times nonscale victories just aren’t enough) so I weighed in once a week.

Please keep in mind that the 10 pounds are merely a drop in the bucket of what I need/want to lose but I’m extremely pleased with the start.

Speaking of nonscale victories, did you have any of those?

So many. I sleep better, I broke my dependency on sugar, I stopped checking the scale every day, I’m much more conscious of what I (and my family) eat and how we shop, and my bras fit a whole lot better. Most importantly, I feel stronger mentally. Making it through this accomplished exactly what I wanted it to: to prove to myself that I can achieve a goal no matter how difficult or unrealistic it might seem.

Now what are you going to do?

Well, after a 5 day binge of eating everything I couldn’t during the 30 days and feeling like absolute shit, I’m committing to 100 days of paleo eating. I’m tracking it with the don’t break the chain method and after that 100 days, I’ll revisit and see what I want to do next.

Would you recommend doing the Whole30?

It depends on the person. There are some people I say yes, absolutely do it. There are others who I’d say nope, don’t even try. Most people I know fall in the middle and really, it depends on your mindset. If you think you can commit the time and effort and discipline, then go for it. If you think even for a minute that you’d quit halfway through, don’t. Or maybe just commit to 15 days because the health and nonscale benefits alone are worth it.

TL;DR:  I did a Whole30. I didn’t starve despite not being able to eat a lot of foods, I had scale and nonscale victories, I learned a ton about my body, my support system, and my ability to achieve goals, and I recommend that people give it at least a two week try.

 

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: challenges, confessions, food

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Jana

I'm Jana ...

A book reading, nail polish wearing, binge watching, music loving, dog owning, reluctant cheer mom.
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