I did this post once before as part of Amanda’s now defunct linkup but I love that Steph and Nadine have kept it going so I figured, much like I did with yesterday’s post, that I’d jump on the bandwagon and share with you guys all the shit my husband says.
If the conversation I highlighted in his favorites post wasn’t a good indicator, let me warn you that my husband says some crazy ass stuff. He’s seriously insane. Most of our conversations end with me saying “what the hell is wrong with you?” because honestly, there has to be something deep in the recesses of his brain that make this shit come out as effortlessly and as often as it does and it probably needs to be fixed but in the meantime, let’s all sit back and enjoy this installment of “Shit My Husband Says?!”
After opening something way too loudly and way too close to my head:
Me: That was unnecessarily loud.
Husband: So was the Civil War but we got through it.
His enthusiastic support for a movie sequel:
I’m 51% sure I’d support a “White Men Can’t Jump 2”
While listening to Adam Sandler’s “The Goat”:
Me: If the goat is untied, why doesn’t he just run away?
Husband: Where’s he going to go? He clearly has Stockholm Syndrome.
During homework time, when our daughter had to answer a few questions about turtles:
Turtles make lousy carpenters. You rarely hear anyone say that.
As we’re going through our DVR, looking for shows to delete:
Me: You can delete 19 Kids and Counting
Husband: I’d watch 19 Thugs in County. That should be a show.
Randomly one night before bed:
Husband: I want to go to a store and buy all the items typically used to commit crimes. Then I want to go back a few days later to return them and when they ask why, I’ll look at them and say “they got away”.
Me, reaching for a pen and paper because clearly this is one for posterity
Husband: Are you writing this down?
And finally, the other night, after NASA had trouble with a rocket launch and the husband had to take a shit:
NASA might not have launched a rocket tonight but I’m about to.
I don’t know how to end this post because how do you even attempt to summarize this? There’s really no way. But this will do:
Coming up tomorrow: traits of a long lasting relationship, or How I’ve Survived 18 Years With This Guy
Linking up with Liz
what is it with men and their poops. not only do their assholes have spidey sense (ie. they don’t have to poop but then the second you clean the bathroom/toilet, they suddenly have to drop a deuce) but they are actually proud of launching rockets LOL
kathy@vodka and soda recently posted…fitness gripes
My husband is so proud of his poops that I will sometimes get graphic descriptions and complete details. The only thing left for him to do is take pictures which, if I’m being honest, I’m surprised he hasn’t done.
Can I be besties with your husband? That NASA shit story had me rollin!
Natalie recently posted…Silver Screen Style | Coraline
It was hilarious when he said it the other night. Perfect timing, too!
Lol! I am usually the one with the odd or silly comments! Rich is the straight man.
Makes for a fun life!!
Love, SMD’s Momma
Scott and I take turns being weird but he definitely says more crazy stuff than I do.
HAHAHA! I love the buying supplies one.
I can also HEAR you say, “That was unnecessarily loud.”
SMD @ Life According to Steph recently posted…October Recommendations
HAHAHA! That’s funny. I always wonder what people who know us think when they read these kinds of posts.
OMG!!!!!! All of these had me laughing…but when I got down to the bottom and saw the NASA rocket one?!?!?! Completely lost it! That is EXACTLY something Chris would say. EXACTLY! I am so glad you decided to do this post because these are always my favorites. It let’s me know I am not the only one that married crazy. Haha 😉 Because I spend most of my days asking what is wrong with you too!
Nadine recently posted…Confessions
OMG he is hilarious! The Civil War and the Goat were the best. I think I would watch 19 Thugs in County. Too funny!
Kerry recently posted…Rutabaga Steak Fries
It would make for an interesting show!
Ha, I should record some of the things Tom says. He makes references to his poop too.
Amber recently posted…Hey, It’s Okay Tuesday!
Scott loves to talk about poop. We talk about it every day. Every. Single. Day.
I so need to do one of these, Adam says crazy and ridiculous stuff all the time!
I think my favorite is the “Turtles make lousy carpenters” one because it’s completely out of nowhere and that’s exactly what Adam does!
Julia recently posted…Confessing Time
I think I just peed a little in my pants laughing at this!!! Scott you are insane, but entertaining!!!!
Bahahahahah… I can’t decide between the turtles and the thugs! Classic.
Amanda recently posted…Savin’ A Dolla Makes This Bitch Holla!
He sounds like a hoot to be around and a source of random humor! Though my husband has been in America for over 20 years, he still messes up English phrases that make me chuckle. Like he still says “white beater” instead of “wife beater”.
lisacng @ expandng.com recently posted…On having an Au pair
oh my lordy, the rocket one – hilarious. definitely sounds like my husband haha.
Kristen recently posted…Rest of the Year Goals
Things must never be dull in your house! 🙂
Kate recently posted…Wednesday (Random) Thoughts
Tyson would totally watch 19 Thugs in County, right along with Locked Up and Cops. Clearly this is TV for men by men.
Kelli recently posted…Book Review: Peter Pan Must Die