Last night, my country elected a racist, misogynistic, xenophobic, socially regressive demagogue and his homophobic running mate into the 2 highest offices possible. I haven’t fully comprehended quite how it happened, although, if I’m being completely honest, I kind of do. And it makes me incredibly sad.
My daughter, the champion badass that she is, tried to stay awake as long as possible, keeping hope alive that things would turn and she would go to bed in a world where Hillary was winning. She cried when it didn’t. And now it’s my job to explain to her that even though our country is on fire, it’ll all be okay. And not simply because we live in a state that just elected our first female black representative but because we live in a country that, despite the horrific outcome of last night’s election, has this:
- People who will stand up to the bigotry and hatred and fight for what’s right
- A system that allows us to be outspoken and critical of our government and people screaming their discontent as loud as they can
- A generation of kids my daughter’s age who see what’s going on and who have parents that encourage them to get involved and who will do so because they want to do better than we did
- A Constitution that protects basic rights and, despite the way it might appear, will continue to protect those rights
- Resilience
- An election cycle that will hopefully undo this shitshow in 4 years
Donald Trump might be our president-elect but he can’t control what goes on in our living rooms. He can’t stop me from teaching my daughter the value and importance of compassion and tolerance. He can’t stop me from teaching her that bullying is wrong and acceptance is right. He can’t stop me from teaching her that her vote matters, even in a country that makes her feel like it doesn’t. He can’t stop me from teaching her that “NO” is a complete sentence and no one has the right to touch her anywhere he wants simply because he thinks he can. He can’t stop me from teaching her that love is love. He can’t stop me from teaching her that she needs to educate herself and not fall prey to shiny, empty promises. He can’t stop me from teaching her that name calling and mockery are not a dignified way to get what what you want. He can’t stop me from teaching her to use her voice to express her discontent. He can’t stop me from teaching her that we’ve come too far as a country to turn back now. He can’t stop me from teaching her that yes, you need to respect the office of the president, but that he is #notmypresident.
He is not reflective of our family’s values and beliefs. He is not reflective of my vision and hope for this country’s future. He is not reflective of my vote.
So, to my daughter, I also say: I’m sorry this country let you down. I’m sorry we showed that the 2nd amendment is more important than the 19th. I’m sorry we showed that the behavior you’re learning is unacceptable was just condoned and given incredible power. I’m sorry we didn’t do enough. I hope that my deepest fears about the results never come to fruition and that it’s rage and sadness rather than logic talking now. I hope that as far as racial and social progress go, we continue moving forward rather than backward. I hope that we don’t leave you an insurmountable mess to fix when you’re my age.
But please don’t surrender to fear and know that we, and our country, will survive this.
It will all be okay.
In the words of Bob Marley, Every little thing gonna be alright.
This post is beautiful. Exactly what I needed to see this morning and I am saving it. My little one is still too young to know what is going on but I will continue to explain it to her and teach her right from wrong so when she is old enough to vote she can make the best decision that she can and hopefully if we all do this with our children we can avoid this in the future.
Beautiful, Jana. More Americans need moms like you.
Beautiful, perfect, true , much needed words
Brava!
Teaching our children well is so important! Being good
And kind people as examples is vital.
It’s a wonderful life. Bob Marley is right.
Love, Steph’s Momma.
This is amazing, Jana. Unsurprisingly. We need people & parents like you right now. If we can’t look to our President Elect to be a positive role model, it’s on all of us. Your daughter is lucky to have you and this post is so inspiring. Sometimes really awful moments do bring out some true good in people. Thank you.
Bravo. Here’s hoping the next generation can do better than this one and realize that hate speech and bullying are NOT okay.
I woke up so sad and disappointed. I have been interested in politics for as long as I can remember, but I’ve never felt this feeling of such supreme disappointment and a realization that, though I surround myself with people that are “good” and tolerant, most of the country I live in is not.
2018 will see dems gain seats after people see that Trump has done nothing for them. Additionally, the 2020 census and redistricting offers me hope. (Gotta see SOME kind of silver lining…)
It will be ok… it always is.
I really needed to read this, Jana. I am certainly old enough where a person I didn’t vote for won a presidential election. It may not have pleased me but it didn’t scare or terrify me. I physically ache right now. I couldn’t sleep. And my heart hurts so badly. Not because the orange, racist, sexist turd won – but that so many people think like him to excuse his behavior and feel okay voting for him. As a woman and minority, I am afraid.
I also know, though, that he did not win by a landslide. That many, many people said HELL NO to him. That many people are repulsed by his behavior and beliefs and will be on him like Donkey Kong to make sure he does not bring America down. That many good parents, like you, are teaching their kids that love is love, that being compassionate is not weak, that bullying is not strength, and that fear while always so powerful at first blush can never beat love. I said it on twitter last night that hate may have won this battle but love will win the war. And I believe it.
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i hope i am the kind of mother you are Jana. amazing post. i agree with everything you said, but especially this: I hope that my deepest fears about the results never come to fruition.
Amen to all of this Jana. Literally was crying this morning, unable to comprehend what just happened 🙁
I had to leave work and finish the day from home because I was crying at my desk. And got to hear a female at my office say, “I was up all night. I’m just so aggressive and excited!” Unsurprisingly, she’s white, well past child-bearing age, and makes a lot of money. Last night I was wondering whether I should have kids at all, but I realized that my husband and I can raise children to be everything that that man and his supporters are not. Thank you for teaching your daughter that too. <3
I’m with you both!
I read this last week, and I’ve shared with several friends who have children and are struggling with the election outcome. So, thank you for the lessons in this post.
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