Jana Says

Confession #1: I look in your shopping cart

September 12, 2011 by Jana 7 Comments

This week, I’ve decided to confess some of my more unsavory habits. First up: I look in your shopping cart.

Judge me if you will but it’s true. When I am at the supermarket, I look in your shopping cart. Sometimes I am surprised by what I see. Sometimes I am appalled (for instance, scrapple will never, ever be an acceptable purchase). Sometimes I am confused. Sometimes I am jealous. Sometimes I am even reminded of something I need to purchase myself. I could probably spend hours in the supermarket studying what people buy. Other people’s shopping carts fascinate me and I don’t know why.

I will also confess that while I am looking in your shopping cart, I will make assumptions about the following:

Your cooking skills
Your marital status
Whether or not you have children
The ages of those children
Your snacking habits
Your ability to shop sales
Your affinity for name brand foods
How often you go food shopping
Your plans for the night/weekend

What I will not make assumptions about:

Your economic status
Your health/weight as it pertains to your food choices
Whether or not you use food stamps (SNAP) and/or WIC

Why do I not make assumptions about those things? For starters, it’s way too personal and, in my opinion, off limits. Second, it’s not something that can be determined simply by analyzing food choices (then again, neither can cooking skills or marital status) but I refuse to believe that people using SNAP or WIC are a generally unhealthy bunch as compared to those who pay without government assistance (seriously, go look in my sister’s or in-laws’ kitchens. I think they keep the junk food industry in the black). Third, how you pay is none of my business nor is what you choose to feed yourself even if you’re on assistance.

There is an ongoing public discourse about the merits of the SNAP program. Many seem to feel that, because the program is funding through tax dollars, they have the authority to govern what people using SNAP buy (for some reason, no one really targets WIC. I’m pretty sure this is because of the nature and target population of the program). I totally understand where they’re coming from. If you want to spend your time policing what other people buy, that’s fine with me. It’s just not something I choose to do. Because if we’re going to use that logic, there are lots of other tax funded programs that I feel warrant policing and some of them do not include something as necessary and basic as food. SNAP is an easy target because it’s public, it’s visible, and the image of the welfare queen with her Coach purse, fake nails and expensive SUV is one, however false, that’s been painted by the media as the norm rather than the exception.

Please don’t misunderstand my unwillingness to generalize SNAP users or police SNAP users’ food purchases for complacency with the program itself. Do I think the SNAP program needs a complete overhaul? That is a resounding yes. Do I think that program abuse runs rampant? Absolutely. Do I think that not enough is done to combat abuse? Certainly. Do I think that sometimes, ideas about SNAP and what makes sense within the confines of the program are absolutely asinine? Hell, yes (exhibit A: The Arizona pilot program allowing SNAP at restaurants).

The reality is that, regardless of my opinions, I’m not in a position to make large scale public policy changes. I can have my opinions and I can engage in discussions but in the end, I don’t run anything except my mouth. So I’ll just settle for forming opinions about what the single man is doing with the combination of whipped cream, dish soap, Fritos and Froot Loops. It’s a lot more entertaining.

Swamp soup

September 9, 2011 by Jana 6 Comments

Last night, I made this for dinner:

I swear this is edible

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Jana, what the f*ck is that? It looks like something I pulled from my gutters or something you sample from a swamp. How the hell is that edible?” I know you’re thinking that because that is exactly what I thought when I first looked at it.

Just to clear up any confusion, it’s soup. It was supposed to be a derivative of something my daughter ate at daycare (which I now believe was Italian wedding soup but let’s not go there) and something she said she liked. When I asked her what was in it she told me: hamburger, spinach, carrots and rice. I figured “hey, I can make that. No problem.” So I bought the ingredients and decided to make it for dinner. What could go wrong, right?

I can’t say that anything necessarily went wrong because it tasted really good (or at least I thought so). My daughter hated the spinach but she’s 4 1/2 and I don’t really trust the judgment of someone who thinks chicken nuggets are gourmet foods. My husband wasn’t home to eat it.

I’m glad I made it because, honestly, I’ll make it again though I might substitute the frozen spinach for fresh spinach. It might give it less of that swampy appearance. In case you want the recipe, here it is:

Daily Money Shot’s Swamp Soup

Ingredients:

1 bag Morningstar Farms soy burger crumbles (did I mention that I don’t eat meat?)
1/2 bag frozen spinach
1 can fire roasted tomatoes, undrained
1 carrot, shredded (though you can cut it into pieces instead)
6 cups vegetable broth
Black pepper, to taste

Directions:

Heat soy burger crumbles, frozen spinach, tomatoes and carrots until warmed through (if still a little frozen, that’s OK)
Add vegetable broth and season with pepper.
Bring to boil then let simmer for approximately 15 minutes

Oh, wait. This is supposed to be about money. Um, let’s see. It cost $4.49 for all of the ingredients, making it around $1 per serving if you go with 4 servings. Not too bad! The $5 Dinner Mom would be proud.

Dear Netflix: A break-up letter

September 8, 2011 by Jana 10 Comments

Dear Netflix,

I never thought I’d have to write this letter but the time has come. I’m breaking up with you. Don’t worry, though. It’s you, not me.

At first I was willing to deal with your price increase betrayal. I accepted that the days of cheap entertainment were over because with your vast library, not to mention your convenience, you were still less expensive than going to the movies and, given my propensity towards forgetfulness, I could return the movies when I remembered (which is not often, I admit). Not to mention the streaming library was perfect for lazy and forgetful chicks like me. And you also know how much I love a cheap date.

But then things started to go sour. Movies started to have a “short wait”. I realized that not every movie I had selected for Blu-Ray was now not always available in Blu-Ray. After that, the amount of movies available started to decrease. OK, OK, I understand that I don’t always pick the most popular movies or movies that more than 9 people have ever seen but that was part of your allure! I could find those movies and not have to suffer the shame of renting them from a video store (remember those? Those bastions of entertainment that you helped go the way of the dinosaur and Frankenberry cereal?). What kept me around was the Starz library and sometimes, if I was lucky, I could find a popular movie on streaming. I also enjoyed that fact that, when I finally get my iPhone, I could watch a streaming movie and my daughter could still watch one of hers on the Blu-Ray player.

Now that’s all going away. Netflix, what is the matter with you? Can’t you see that you no longer have a monopoly on cheap movie rentals? Hulu, Redbox, Amazon, even iTunes…they’re all encroaching on what you created. And they’re doing a better job! Instead of fighting for it, you’re rolling over and taking it. That doesn’t sound like someone who wants to be in a good, healthy relationship. That sounds like someone who deosn’t care. I want to be with someone who fights and cares and provides me with what I need when I hand over my money.

Please realize we’ll still be friends. I’m not getting rid of the streaming service. That I like. It’s a reasonable price, it’s convenient and it has numerous Care Bears movies which makes my daughter extremely happy (not to mention, it gives me the chance to make dinner in peace). But as far as the other movies? Well, I’m just going to have to take my business elsewhere. Once I watch the Millennium Trilogy in Swedish.

Thanks for the memories, Netflix. We’ll always have Inception.

Money Tune Tuesday: Hate My Life

September 6, 2011 by Jana 6 Comments

About 9 months ago, I finally decided that I had had it with my job. I was working for an absolute monster, the work was boring and tedious, my co-workers were pretty awful and the gray, fluorescent, windowless office I resided in was just not cutting it anymore. I realized at that point that nothing was going to get better unless I started making some changes in myself and in my situation. So I did. The soundtrack to that part of my life was Sick Puppies “Maybe”. Prior to that, the soundtrack to my life was Theory of a Deadman’s “Hate My Life”, which is today’s money tune. Here is it:

I love every single verse in this song. It is the most upbeat, melodious, angst filled song I’ve ever heard. It’s just so appropriate in so many circumstances. And I love how many verses are about money!

I also love that I’ll have this song in my head for the next week. I suppose it’s better than the Care Bears.

Money Shuffle: Labor Day Edition

September 5, 2011 by Jana Leave a Comment

Hi, and welcome to another edition of Money Shuffle (you can view the first edition if you’d like)! This time, in honor of the Labor Day holiday, all financial stories will be related to a work experience I’ve had.

As always, the rules are the same: set my iPod to shuffle and note the first 5 songs, regardless of how much I may actually like that song, then relate a financial story to that song’s title but not necessarily the subject matter.

Let’s get ready to shuffle!

Song #1: The Boys of Summer by the Ataris–this is actually a really good cover of the Don Henley song. It reminds me of all my summer jobs as a camp counselor. I’ve worked at day camps and sleep-away camps and I loved each and every one of those jobs for various reasons. The pay was low (really low), the tips were good (really good) and the experiences were incredible.

Song #2: A-Hole by Bowling for Soup–easiest song to relate to work, hands down. I spent 3 years working for the most heartless, soulless bitch on Earth. She stole my ideas, plagiarized my work, and made me feel worthless and incompetent at every turn. The only good part of this job was the raise that came with it. Lesson learned here? I will never again compromise my self-respect for a paycheck.

Song #3: One for the Razorbacks by Green Day–talk about a song I had no idea was even on my iPod! This one hurt my brain as I’ve never had a job involving pigs or Arkansas. So I thought and thought and thought and I came up with…nothing. I’ve got nothing on this one. Deduct 100 Schrute bucks from my total.

Song #4: Burn It to the Ground by Nickelback–I know I may lose some point with a few of you for having a Nickelback song on my iPod but any song that has the phrase “batshit crazy” is OK with me. I’ve never worked in food service nor have I ever had a job that dealt at all with fire. However, I did spend one semester working at a Hollywood Video and I frequently wanted to set the place on fire. You know that scene in Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle where they’re at the drive thru and the worker starts screaming “Let’s burn this motherfucker down!” That’s how I felt during every single shift.

Song #5: Count on Me by Default–I absolutely love this song. It doesn’t necessarily remind me of a paying job that I have. It reminds me of my most important job–being a mom. Everything I do, every decision I make is for my daughter. I need be there for her no matter what because when everyone and everything else may seem like it’s failing her, she can count on me to help her through it.

That’s for playing this edition of Money Shuffle! I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I’ve enjoyed writing. And remember to spay and neuter your pets!

If you’re also playing Money Shuffle, post a comment or leave your link in the comments section.