Living life from cover to cover
This week I'm doing something different. Instead of sharing posts (with the exception of my guest post today at Ready For Zero, so make sure to check it out), I'm sharing this picture that I found on a friend's Facebook page:
For personal reasons, I don't give money to people holding signs or begging on the street but honestly, I'd give this guy money. Because that? Is hilarious.
Once again, where I live is under an extreme heat advisory. Which is totally awesome.
I learned this when I was checking the weather with my daughter (she’s obsessed) and noticed the little red exclamation point next to my ZIP code. I clicked on it and it told me, among other things, that the most humane thing to do for outdoor pets is to bring them inside, into the air conditioning.
No shit.
But what if you have, like I do, an outdoor animal who absolutely refuses to come inside no matter how much coaxing and bribing you do? There’s not much, except try to accommodate the animal in every way possible. Provide shade, water, and something to cool her down (we use ice packs, but I’ve also been told that if you fill an ice cream container with water, freeze it and then put it outside, that works). That’s about it. Well that, and hoping the animal’s instincts will kick in and she’ll also find ways to help herself.
It sucks having an outdoor pet who you can’t help more than she will allow. Just like it sucks having people in your life who you can’t help with their finances, no matter how much you know they’re in distress. But if I’ve learned any lessons taking care of this cat that can apply to those people, it’s these:
It’s difficult to sit by and watch people you love and care about suck with money. But, as I have to do with my cat, we have to let them make their own choices and live with the consequences. That doesn’t mean we have to stop supporting them or neglect them; it just means we have to recognize that not everyone wants our help. And when you want to help, that’s the most difficult part of the situation.
How do you handle people you want to help but refuse to accept that assistance?
If you’ve been following this feature since it’s inception last summer, you’ve probably noticed that I haven’t used too many songs that one would expect in a series about money songs. There’s a reason for that.
I can’t stand most of them.
They’re cliched and overused and I prefer to be original (or at least unusual. At the very least, uncommon) so I’ve avoided them thus far. But it’s time we addressed them once and for all. A cleansing. A “let’s get them out of the way all at once so we don’t have to face them again” post.
So, here we go. In no particular order, my countdown of the 5 most cliched songs about money and songs that you will never again see referenced here unless it is in the context of a larger story or to make fun of them. Actually, I’ve decided I’m not even going to use videos this week because well, you’ve all heard the songs so many times that I don’t need to share with you what they sound like:
1. She Works Hard For The Money–Donna Summer (I did use this once but mainly out of respect for the late Donna Summer. Because I think she’s freaking awesome. But never again.)
2. Take the Money And Run–The Steve Miller Band (Who are excellent live, by the way)
3. Money for Nothing–Dire Straits (after Van Halen’s Panama, it’s the most 80s song ever)
4. Money–Pink Floyd (nothing snarky to say about this song because it’s actually kind of great but it’s too common for Money Tune Tuesday)
5. Working Man–Rush (Rush is my all time favorite band but this song is way too overplayed)
Honorable Mentions: Billionaire (by…I don’t know. I only know this song from Glee and some really horrible commercial. But I hate it so I’ll never use it), Gold Digger (Kanye West) and Eat the Rich (Aerosmith, but really I’m only including it to protest Steven Tyler. American Idol? Really, Hall of Fame Rock Dude?)
What would you include?
Confession: I love polka dots. Like really, really love polka dots. So it should come as no surprise that when I was in a store several months ago and saw this blanket, I bought it:
Like Linus, I take this blanket with me everywhere (and for those of you attending FinCon, it’ll most likely be with me). It’s with me when I’m sitting on our couch or in my favorite chair and, most importantly, it’s my nap blanket. And like a 3 year old, I nap almost every day. Napping is an unfortunate side effect of not being able to sleep at night but I get by. Anyway, when I nap, I lie on top of my comforter and use my fuzzy polka dot blanket instead. In fact, I use the blanket so much that something weird has happened.
That blanket has become a trigger to my body and brain to think it’s time to sleep.
Once I realized this, I started bringing the blanket to bed with me at night and guess what? I can fall asleep within a matter of minutes instead of hours. It’s pretty nice to be able to fall asleep without staring at the wall until I get bored or I’m tired of writing blog posts or book chapters in my head or cursing my family for being able to fall asleep with no issues at all. I’ve deemed this “The Fuzzy Blanket Phenomenon”.
If you think about it, the blanket can act as a metaphor for financial security. How many of us have lain awake at night, wondering how we’re going to pay the bills or buy groceries or a winter coat or put gas in the car? How many of us have spent countless nights trying to figure out how we can pull in any extra income because our kids need something important? How many of us have a contingency plan just in case something really bad happens and we’re on the verge of losing our house?
I know I’ve been there. And it’s really unsettling.
But then all of a sudden, we find something—anything—that starts to give us peace of mind. It might be a small, unexpected raise or a paid off debt or even a part-time job. It might be moving to a less expensive home or getting permission to work from home a few days a month. It might come in the form of finding a less expensive grocery store or taking the time to coupon effectively. It doesn’t really matter what form your fuzzy blanket takes; it’s just the simple fact that you found one.
Financially, my fuzzy blanket took two forms: paying off my biggest credit card and both my husband and I getting raises at work. Once those two events happened, our financial stress lessened. Payday was no longer a source of panic and the week in-between paydays was no longer a source of immense pressure. We could finally walk into a store and buy what we needed instead of having to compromise on what we needed the most and what we could do without. We didn’t have to pay extra fees on our bills just to make sure they were credited on time. We could actually buy clothes and shoes for ourselves! Those two events gave us a warm, comforting feeling. Much like what happens when I use my polka dot blanket to take a nap.
Possession of a fuzzy blanket changes your entire outlook. It means security, relaxation and relief, if even for a few hours. For me, my financial and actual fuzzy blankets give me the ability to calm down, turn off my brain from worrying and working at hyperspeed. Being able to rest, breathe and turn off means that I can function like a normal person the next day (and believe me, when I’m not well rested, I’m a mess. And angry. And kind of rude). Having that fuzzy blanket means I’m a better parent, friend, spouse, blogger, writer…everything.
It’s the best $20 I have ever spent.
Readers, what’s your fuzzy blanket (literal or metaphorical)? How has it changed your life?
Personal finance guru Dave Ramsey coined a phrase that he repeats over and over again, like a mantra for those wanting to get out of debt and gain control over their money. He encourages his followers to think that “Debt is normal. Be weird”. It’s a nice concept, one that my husband and I used during our time paying down the bulk of our debt. The phrase kept us going when it got tiring using the money to pay off a credit card. It lifted our spirits when everyone we knew was spending and we were at home, watching another movie from the library. It became, as Mr. Ramsey intended, our family motto.
But now it’s more than a motto. It’s a way of life. We’ve become accustomed to using cash or a debit card. It’s not unheard of for us to abstain from buying something if we don’t have the money to pay for it upfront (the only exception were our cars). The list goes on. We never want to go back to the place where we barely had enough money for food because our debt was so high. So we apply what we’ve learned and choose not to make those same mistakes.
At this point, Mr. Ramsey’s version of “weird” is just our normal. And we’re okay with that. By eliminating the majority of our consumer debt, we’ve opened up a whole new world for ourselves. In this world, there’s room for a new motto:
Be brave.
Being brave is hard. It’s harder than being fearless because being fearless means just that—you have no fears. To me, being brave is admitting you have fears and doubts and insecurities and facing them head on. Being brave is standing up to what you think may knock you down, and then getting up again when it does. Being brave is exhausting because it takes all that you have to keep going even when you want to quit. Being brave is hard because it means accepting who you are, including your faults, and then admitting it. Which is never easy.
But above all, being brave is where everything starts. Without bravery, we don’t take that first step. We don’t admit what we really want out of life or a relationship (romantic or friendship or even familial). We don’t make the choice to leave something that makes us unhappy. We don’t share with the world what scares us and what’s wrong with us in the hopes that by doing so will make one less person feel alone. We don’t take that first step towards paying off our debt.
Essentially, without bravery, nothing gets done.
I never thought of myself as a brave person. I thought I was just a regular chick, floating along in my corner of the world. I didn’t think I’d ever done anything above average or out of the ordinary. And I was okay with that. Then, in one of my sleepless nights, I started doing some thinking about all that I’ve done in my life. And I realized I’m pretty damn brave! After all I’ve:
I’m sure there are a few other parts of my life that I could classify as brave but those are the highlights.
When I think about how far I’ve come as a person just by being brave (and admittedly a little weird, too), it makes me feel good about myself. I’m happy with the person I’m becoming and reflecting on those choices, I don’t think I would have done anything differently.
If you’re apprehensive about any choices you’re facing, that’s okay. It’s normal to feel that way. And it’s even more normal to take your time to make those decisions. But when it all comes down to it, you’re going to make the choice that’s best for you, even if it’s not a popular, common or even practical.
Because you are brave.
Posted with Blogsy