Jana Says

Living life from cover to cover

Very Interesting Blogger Interview #1: Tonya from Budget and the Beach

by Jana 15 Comments

One of my favorite parts of blogging is getting to know other bloggers. Whether it’s through conversations on Twitter, Skype, or meeting them in person at FinCon, learning about them as the “people behind the blogs” makes reading their sites that much more personal and enjoyable.

I’m also amazed at just how interesting other bloggers are. And I want you guys to learn about them, too. Which is why I’ve started a new series–The Very Interesting Bloggers Interviews (I’m awesome at names, aren’t I?). Every other week or so, I’ll bring you a brief, 5 question interview with a different blogger who has a really different, exciting or interesting hobby.

Up first is one of my good friends, Tonya, from Budget and the Beach and It Started with Lip Gloss. I had the pleasure of hanging out with her at FinCon13. She’s really awesome, a great person to talk to and a fellow Friday Night Lights addict. She also plays beach volleyball, so I thought I’d ask her about that:

Tonya in action.
Tonya in action.

Me: So I’ve been told that one of your passions–besides Friday Night Lights–is beach volleyball. Can you tell us about that?  

Tonya: Well it’s no FNL but it’s a close second. 🙂 Beach volleyball is one of the most fun sports I’ve ever played, and it’s a really social sport too. I’ve met so many amazing friends through beach volleyball, and have a hard time imagining a time where I’ll ever stop playing, unless I move from Southern California. It’s one of the things that keeps me here, despite the high cost of living.

I think that should go on a brochure. 

Me: When did you start playing? Have you ever played professionally?

Tonya: I started playing five years ago after my boyfriend broke up with me, and I needed something to fill the “empty space.” I first signed up for an indoor class, but quickly found out about beach volleyball classes, and have never looked back. I like that there are only two of you on the court (of course you can play with more) so it gives you a lot of responsibility. And moving in the sand is a great form of conditioning.

I’ve never played professionally. Even if I had played indoor in high school and college, I’m just too short (5’4).

I’m 5’3″ so I get it. I avoided tall people sports at all costs. 

Me: Do you do it for fun, to earn money, or both? If you do earn money doing it, at what point did you decide to make the switch from hobby to income earning opportunity?

Tonya: I do it for fun now. I used to play in tournaments where you could earn prizes (I’ve only won two volleyballs in my “career” as a player), but I gave that up a couple years ago because it just wasn’t for me.

I used to help coach some recreational classes to help out a friend, which is how I got started earning money as a coach. Now I teach private lessons, which is a great source of extra income.

I’m sure it’s also fun. I was texting her a few days ago while she was teaching and the extent of the lesson at the point was to tell her student to run. I want someone to pay me to tell them to run. 

Me: Tell us about your favorite beach volleyball memory (and it cannot include that scene in Top Gun).

Tonya: Ha ha! That’s a great scene but the fact that they show Tom Cruise jumping above the net is truly hilarious given his height. Agreed.

My favorite memory is from a beach volleyball tournament. The California Beach Volleyball Association (CBVA) classifies their women’s tournaments into A, AA, AAA, and Open Division (Open being the hardest) categories. If you have an AAA rating, you can’t play down, but if you have no rating or an A rating, you can always play up.

I had an A rating and I was going to play in a AA tournament with my friend Mocha. Up until that day, I had never won a single game in a AA tournament. I didn’t tell Mocha until we were in the car on the way there. My goal was to win one game. When I got there I found out I was in the same pool as two women who had beat me in every single tournament. It was frustrating. Not only did we win one game, but we won every game (4 games) in our pool, beating my nemesis in a glorious finish. I even have a picture where you can see the joy on my face, and the look of defeat on their faces. We ended up losing in the playoffs, but it’s still my favorite moment in beach volleyball.

Beating a nemesis is a glorious finish is ALWAYS a great memory. 

Me: What advice would you give someone who’s thinking about picking up volleyball as either a hobby or a paying job?

Tonya: Well it’s hard to make money, even as a professional volleyball player. It’s not like the NBA, and only top names like Kerri Walsh and Misty May make decent money playing. But if you’re thinking about playing recreationally, my best advice would be to sign up for a class. Not only will you develop skills, but you will meet people that you can set up games outside of class with.  

If you’re serious about getting good, do interval training. It’s the best way to condition your body for that type of sport.

Great advice, Tonya! Thanks so much for playing along! 

 

4 tips for staying productive with depression

by Jana 14 Comments

 

For most of us, we feel like we’ve had a good, productive day if, at the end of the day, we’ve worked, socialized, cooked, exercised, read, made progress on a project, helped the kids with homework or some combination of the above. We’re told that we need to do more in a day than we can handle because, let’s face it, busy is the new normal. We’re expected to be busy. And when we’re not, we feel like there’s something wrong with us. Like we’re doing something we’re not supposed to. Like we’re breaking the rules. 

image found on PinterestLike we’re a failure.

If you’re anything like me, that feeling of failure is a huge trigger for depression. And that depression means it is almost impossible to be busy. You can’t bring yourself to do anything, never mind anything extra. You don’t care if the laundry piles up or the house is dusty or if you miss deadlines at work. It makes no difference if you forget to bake something for your kid’s school party or if you bail on plans with your friends.

And you certainly don’t give a crap that you don’t give a crap. However, on the days you can muster emotion, you actually do care that you’re not engaging in life. You do care that you’re productivity has hit zero.

You want it to get better because you know that life can’t–and often doesn’t–stop for depression. There are a number of us who have to keep plodding through when all we want to do is hibernate. So how can we get it done when we just don’t want to?

Here are a few tips:

  1. Redefine “productive”. The traditional definition of productive cannot apply when you’re in a depression. Which is why, when you’re feeling that way, you need to redefine what productive means to you. Scale back your expectations for yourself, acknowledge what you can do and…
  2. Forgive yourself for what you can’t do. It’s hard to have any energy left for cooking or going to the gym or working on side projects when it takes all your energy to shower and get dressed. It’s okay not to be able to do everything you might normally be able to do, and you need to remind yourself of that. Depression is an asshole and it thrives on taking from us what we value. Usually that’s self-esteem and motivation. Understanding that makes it easier to extend the forgiveness we need to get through.
  3. Ignore your to-do list. It’s okay to ignore the big, major projects, plans and goals you’ve set for yourself when getting out of bed is deserving of a parade. If you’re like me, you set ambitious goals that, when you’re depressed, only make you feel worse. Put the list away until you feel better. If you really need one, create one with things like brush teeth. Shower. Put on clean clothes. Small, easily achievable tasks. Also…

    I want to punch everyone that does this.
    I want to punch everyone that does this.
  4. Stay away from Facebook. Particularly those friends who consistently boast about their to-do lists and all they accomplish in a day. While we know that most of it is image construction, it doesn’t make it any less difficult to read and it certainly doesn’t help you feel productive. And seeing those posts makes you feel like you need to compete in a race you’re not healthy enough to participate, driving you further into your depression instead of finding a way out.

A bonus tip: if you’re feeling particularly bad on a given day, and you’re trying to get things done yet you find that a) what you’re doing is crap or b) working is actually making you feel worse, then do this: stop. Just stop what you’re doing. Put it down, put it away, turn it off. If you work out of the house and can leave your job for the rest of the day, do it. Leave. Get away from the task and the environment.

Then do something that makes you feel good. Doesn’t matter what it is. Because sometimes, stopping and switching gears is the best gift we can give ourselves and our productivity.

 

Carnival of Personal Finance #427: The Netflix binge watching edition

by Jana 16 Comments

Although I don’t write a personal finance site, many of my friends do so I’m giving them a hand today by hosting the Carnival of Personal Finance. Hope you enjoy it!

My name is Jana and I am a binge watcher. I blame Netflix and its readily available programming for this problem. Because before this entered my life, I watched TV like a normal person. I watched one regularly scheduled episode of a few shows and then moved on with my day.

Now, thanks to Netflix, I can’t do that anymore. No. Now I must watch as many episodes as I possibly can in one day, often to the point of sleeping less because I need just. One. More. Episode.

It’s terrible. In the last year, I’ve made it through approximately 9 shows from start to finish (by finish, I really mean “what’s streaming on Netflix and then also watching the current season live”) including Breaking Bad, Mad Men, and The Killing. And I want my life back.

Yet, I kind of don’t. You see, not only does Netflix currently have several of my all-time favorite shows available for my immediate viewing pleasure (and these shows are not in syndication and are also kind of hard to find in reruns) but binge watching saves me money. Lots and lots of money.

Because it’s hard to spend money when you don’t leave your house and you’re too engrossed in the happenings of SAMCRO or cheering for the Dillon Panthers to bother to shop online. It also helps that there are dozens of great blog posts that also encourage me to be mindful of my money.

And I’m pleased to present them in this edition of the Carnival of Personal Finance (along with my favorite Netflix shows to binge watch).

Editor’s Picks

First, my favorite show of all time:

Freaks-Geeks
If you haven’t seen this show yet, cease what you’re doing and watch it.

Now, the editor’s picks. These posts stood out for me among the wonderful posts that were submitted for a number of reasons and I highly recommend that you check them out:

  • Sam from The New Business Blog presents Online Marketing Tips for the Entrepreneur, and says, “We put together a list of some excellent online marketing tips that every entrepreneur can use to build client lists, attract visitors to their websites and increase profits.”
  • Marissa from Thirty Six Months presents Things You Didn’t Know About Fall Fashion, and says, “Are you heading to the mall this fall? Here are some very interesting facts about shopping habits this fall.”
  • Matt Becker from Mom and Dad Money presents Beware the Source of Your Financial Advice, and says, “When it comes to financial advice, there’s so much BS out there and it makes me sick. When it comes down to it, you’re the only one who truly has your best interests at heart. There are people who can help you make your goals a reality, but you have to understand that there are likely even more who are much more interested in simply taking your money and running. And the financial services industry is one of the worst in this respect.”
  • Jason Hull from Hull Financial Planning presents The One Skill You Can Teach Your Children to Potentially Save Them Tens of Thousands of Dollars, and says, “Parents – teach your children this, and it can save them an enormous amount of money when they’re adults.”
  • Adam Kamerer from Stop Worrying About Money presents 5 Christmas Gift Ideas For Friends and Family Who Struggle With Money, and says, “No one likes seeing family or friends struggle under mountains of debt and other financial woes. It is even worse when Christmas rolls around.”

 

The Rest

Remember, it might not be an editor’s pick but these posts are all worth reading. And the shows are worth watching. I didn’t watch Orange Is the New Black in a weekend because it sucked.

Charlie Hunnam bonus: Undeclared is also on Netflix and he's on that show, too.
Charlie Hunnam bonus: Undeclared is also on Netflix and he’s on that show, too.
Never thought I'd like a Western-type show but it freaking rocks.
Never thought I’d like a Western-type show but it freaking rocks.
FNL
The only thing to ever make me enjoy football
No words. Just watch.
No words. Just watch.
Makes a mockery of fantasy football? Sign me up!
Makes a mockery of fantasy football? Sign me up!

 
Thanks to everyone who submitted a post for this edition of the carnival! It was a pleasure to read all your entries!

And just out of curiosity, what are you currently binge watching?

November challenge: Wake Up Early

by Jana 9 Comments

wake up early button

I do not like to get up early. There is nothing about losing an hour of sleep that I find enjoyable.

However.

I’ve learned that when I do get up early, I’m more productive. I use that hour or so to knock out several tasks like responding to emails, writing a blog post, doing a load of laundry or anything else that I feel inspired to tackle. Getting those tasks out of the way early in the morning starts a sort of productivity snowball for the rest of the day and, by the time my child is in bed, I’m able to actually relax. I can watch Sons of Anarchy or something else without stress. I can read without that nagging “do this instead” feeling. I can go to sleep knowing that I got shit done.

early quoteBasically, I can breathe.

Which is why, for the month of November, I’m challenging myself–and you–to get up early. Not every day because that’s just crazy talk. But I’d like for us to agree to wake up early a few mornings per week and use that time to be productive. What you do during that time is up to you. I’ll mainly be working on my NaNoWriMo book. You can use that time to read blogs, paint your nails, exercise, work on a side gig, write that eBook you’ve been thinking about, put dinner in the crock put or just sit, meditate, and relish the silence.

It doesn’t really make a difference what you do. I just want us to use that time productively so we can lessen some of our daily burdens. We can stop saying “if I only had the time, I’d…” We can eliminate the excuses. We can take more control of our time and make it feel like we’ve added that extra hour to our day we always wish for.

It’s basically putting us in charge of our lives instead of the other way around.

So, if you’re going to participate, feel free to leave a comment, grab the button for your site, and tell everyone what you’re doing. If that’s not your style, you can choose to do it privately, too. I understand not wanting to talk about every detail of your life (because although I overshare here, I’m very private in real life). Regardless of which avenue you choose, I hope you’ll join the discussion on Facebook. We’ll be using that as our month-long support and accountability system.

See you in the morning!

31 Steps for Feeling Happier, Step 31: Create your own list

by Jana 1 Comment

31 Steps blog buttonTo me, the worst part of living with depression and anxiety is akin to having a horrible monster chained up in a closet and doing the best you can to keep it locked up but every now and again, it breaks the chains and gets loose. You never know when it’ll happen, but you can sort of feel it coming on. There are signs and sounds and everything seems off. You do your best but sometimes, that’s just not enough.

The monster gets out and stomps around your life, making a huge mess of everything, until he’s done. The worst part, besides having to clean up the mess, is not knowing exactly how long he’ll throw his tantrum. It could be a few days, weeks, or months. You do your best to subdue him but usually, it doesn’t work. You just have to let him have his way.

It kind of sucks.

That’s what this whole 31 steps series was about. This series, at its core, was intended to provide actionable, easy steps to follow in order to improve your level of happiness. I designed it because I’m tired of people saying “choose happiness” and then giving zero direction as exactly how to do that when choosing happiness is what you’d like to do but just cannot. Because depression is a huge asshole that strips you of your ability to make that choice.

Card found on The Bloggess's store on Zazzle.
Card found on The Bloggess’s store on Zazzle.

It’s a thief.

It’s the jerk friend that you want to get rid of but who doesn’t take the hint.

It’s the monster on the loose.

And these steps are intended to help you fight the monster to the best of your ability. Fight him before he gets out, fight him while he’s out, fight him to get back in the closet. But keep fighting him. Use everything you have. Don’t give up.

You will win.

Which is why today’s task is about continuing to build ways to win your fight. And the task is two-fold: the first part is to commit to keep working on ways to feel happier. Just like on the first day you committed to follow this series to the best of your ability, today I want you to commit to keep it up. That’s all. You don’t have to commit to doing it every day but just promise yourself you will keep working on it. The more tools you have in your arsenal to fight the monster, the better.

The second part of today’s task is to write your own list of steps you can take to feel happier, even when you’re at your worst. Keep the steps simple, easy, and actionable. And practical. If you’re in the thick of a depression, it probably won’t make you happy to run a marathon. It would probably make you happy if you could just get out of bed and put on your running shoes. So focus on that step instead.

And remember: not every day will be perfect. You will have your bad days. You will have the days where you want to sleep and cry and be left alone and not have to face anyone because you just can’t. I hate those days. Those days are the worst. And it’s okay to have them. But remember that they go away. They get shorter and lessen in intensity. Things get back to whatever normal looks like for you.

I’m not saying it’s easy. Because it’s not. It takes work–lots and lots of hard, excruciatingly painful work. But you’re worth the effort.

Never forget that.

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