Jana Says

5 life myths

September 22, 2014 by Jana 14 Comments

This is a guest post from my friend Kerry, who has a fabulous outlook on life and a super cute dog named Seamus. She also posts great recipes, especially for sangria, and her generosity and niceness towards others is admirable.

When Jana asked for some guest posters I was really nervous. If you don’t know me I am Kerry and I blog over at Till Then Smile Often, I was nervous because I am not known for my words like Jana. I am known more for my recipes and my generally positive outlook on life. Though everyone deserves a vacation, and while Jana is in NOLA I am taking over. Consider me jealous, NOLA is on my must visit list. Speaking of jealousy let me talk about some life myths.

Judging people – This excludes the general discrimination towards race, age, color, sexual orientation etc but more so on making judgements. Every time you meet someone you judge them. Judge whether or not you like them, would you be friends, do you like their sense of humor, do you have things in common. If you see someone holding a knife, you judge the heck out of them, then run the other way. It is called survival!! This is not the same as judging a person and bullying them for being different, just know judging is human nature so don’t feel bad about it.

Jealousy – Remember the Friends episode where they celebrate Ross’s birthday by going out to dinner and Joey, Rachel and Phoebe were having a hard time with the prices? Ever read a person’s blog and think I could never afford their wardrobe, their tastes etc? *Raises hand* Thing about that is everyone has a different circumstance. Some don’t have kids, they rent versus own, they make more money, they may be in debt up to their eyeball. Whatever the reason it can be hard not to be jealous, but the simple things mean more than monetary items. Remember what you do have, versus what you don’t have it’s healthier.

Beyonce’ has 24 hours in a day – Don’t get me wrong I think Beyonce is fierce and she has worked hard to get where she is today. Though she technically has 24 hours in a day, she doesn’t have to get done the same amount of things a typical person has to get done in a day. Laundry, dishes, cleaning, dropping off the dry cleaning. Do you think she does that herself? I think not, she hires someone alleviating time for her to do other things like be awesome. What this means for you, don’t sweat it if the dishes don’t get done or one day you got to work with her her in a messy bun. We are human and there is only so far we can spread our time.

Money makes you happy – Like The Notorious B.I.G said Mo’ Money, Mo’ problems. Being able to feed, cloth, and shelter yourself and/or your family is important but everything else is a bonus. Filling our lives with fillers and pretty things and gadgets though nice doesn’t mean we are happier. Just look at our addictions to our smartphones. The kids who have smartphones. Does that make our lives better? Not that I am giving up my cell phone but sometimes less is more.

Being happy is easy – Being happy is hard work. Every day we come in contact with the potential to make us miserable whether it is from our job, stress over money, relationships with people, traffic, they all play a part in our mood. All those moments are opportunities to break you, or make you it’s your choice. If it breaks you their is a moment right around the corner to make another choice. All you can do is work towards having more happy choices than negative ones each day.

happiness-is-a-conscious-choice-not-an-automatic-response

Hopefully my words didn’t fail me or turn you away. Life is all about perspective, and every person has a story. Judge your inner circle wisely as they will make you happier, even when you don’t have money or jealous about Beyonce’.

Thank you so much to Jana for having me, hopefully I did her proud. Jana’s note: You did, Kerry. I had no doubt about that.

A note home to parents

September 19, 2014 by Jana 18 Comments

This is a guest post from my college friend Steph. She’s guest posted here before and I am stoked to have her back because she’s always terrific. This post of hers is especially fantastic and I hope you enjoy it! And even though I am a parent, I agree with every single sentiment she shares.

Hello Jana Says readers! I’m Steph and you can normally find me over at Life According to Steph blogging about cooking, books, my three pugs, things that annoy me, hausfrauing, my card of a husband, and life in general live from Philadelphia. Jana and I go way back to freshman year of college at the University of Delaware (for those counting, that’s 19 years ago this month) and reconnected on the facebook. We were delighted to find out we had a common interest in blogging as adults, and I’m thankful for Jana sharing her space while she’s in New Orleans.

Jana has recently killed it with some parenting posts that I’ve really appreciated even as someone without children, specifically Promises to my Friends Without Kids. I shared it and it resonated with a lot of people, both those with kids and without. Even though I’m not a fan of open ended letters, I thought a note to those that are parents from someone who is not would be a good companion to that post.

1. It’s okay to talk to me about your kids. More than okay. Assuming they’re not assholes (and I really hope they’re not), I probably enjoy them and want to hear about what’s going on with them both to be up to speed with them and with you.

2. That being said, I don’t want to only talk about your kids, and you shouldn’t either. Your kids are their own people. You are your own person. You’re connected like nothing else, but also still an individual. Don’t project yourself onto them. Your role of mom or dad is not the only thing you are – you are also a daughter/son, sibling, friend, maybe an employee…an individual. It’s important to show your kids that you take care of yourself and that you matter – your time, hobbies, work, thoughts, and feelings outside of them matter. It teaches your kids not to shove themselves aside for the good of others all the time. It teaches them that you can have children, a marriage, any relationship with others and still retain a sense of self. That will serve them well in life, and you too.

3. Don’t worry about your kids when they come to my house. I know they’re kids, and I have dogs. They’ve crapped the place up enough, I’m used to it. However if they make a crazy mess, I’d love it if you helped me clean it up.

4. For the love, please do not let your kids run around restaurants. It makes me die inside.

5. If you have a party for your kid at your house, I’d love to come. Please don’t be offended when I do not attend a party at The Rat House. Chuck E. Cheese is not my scene.

6. Don’t be a competitive asshole with other parents or compare your kids to other kids. First of all, whatever your kid achieves, it is their achievement. Not yours. I hope you’re proud of them for what they do but recognize that it’s their doing. Secondly, all kids are different and that’s okay. That’s great actually. We all do things in our own time. We’re not all good at the same things. Encourage your kid to find something they love and let the rest happen.

7. Even if you don’t like to read, try to encourage it in your kids. Reading opens minds and works imagination like nothing else in life. If you don’t want to read with your kids, Aunt Steph would love to!

8. Don’t assume everyone wants to or is able to have kids. Kids are a huge life decision, having children isn’t a given and it’s not something you should do because you feel like it’s what society expects. If someone doesn’t have kids, don’t ask them about it. If they want to bring it up, they will. You shouldn’t be asking about other people’s reproductive plans anyway. It’s rude.

9. While I haven’t raised a child, I might have a perspective that could be valuable to you. And I definitely have opinions on parenting that will come out in conversation. I’m allowed to have those even though I haven’t done it. I have an opinion on being the President too and I’ve never done that either. Don’t treat me like less or judge me because I don’t have a kid and you do. I don’t like you less or judge you because you have a kid and I don’t.

10. We shouldn’t let the fact that one of us is a parent and one isn’t color our relationship. All kids grow up and we’ll still be here staring at each other with our teeth in our mouths, so we should appreciate what we have in each other, embrace our similarities and respect our differences.

Any thoughts to add?

SMD

Life According to Steph / Facebook / Twitter / Instagram

Before and after babies: A future’s parent’s perspective

September 17, 2014 by Jana 22 Comments

This is a guest post from my friend Kristen who is hilarious and smart and she’s originally from Australia and her posts about living there are some of my favorite to read. They make me feel cultured and in the know, which will come in handy when I visit there one day. Also, her use of gifs is truly an art form, which you’ll see in just a bit.

Hi everyone! First I want to thank the lovely, gorgeous and fabulous
Jana for having me at her place today, I’m Kristen and I blog about a whole lot
of nothing over at See You In A Porridge. I love reading Jana’s blog because she writes so well, she’s honest and hilarious. Also because she comes across as exactly the way that I want to be as a parent – one day.

Since I am not there yet, I thought I would share some things I like about my life before vs after babies.

Before babies:

Me time. Everyone needs some time to chillax, be by themselves and do
their own thing. I love that time.

Travel. Because travelling with kids blows, right? I can do all sorts of
crazy and adventurous things without kids.

Naps. Need I say more?

Eat out whenever I want. Cause I got money to burn, yo. And I don’t have
to worry about what I’m putting into my body because no-one else is getting
nutrients from it.

Have a spotless house. Because I have all the time in the world.

Continue being my impatient, selfish self. I don’t have to
take care of anyone! I don’t need anyone to take care of me!

Love my cats more than most humans. What can I say, they are really
adorable and amazing kitties.

Be totally awesome.

After babies:

Me time. Babies start taking care of themselves after a few months, right?

Travel. Ah, who I am I kidding, I’m not crazy and adventurous, though I do love
to travel. And I will continue to do so, just pop the baby in the suitcase, no
dramas.

Naps. Babies take naps, right? Easy peasy.

Eat out whenever I want. Because it always tastes better when someone
else cooks it. And why not waste money, right?

Have a spotless house. Again with the time, what else do I have to do?

Continue being my impatient, selfish self. If I can take care
of myself, I can totally take care of a kid.

Love my cats more than most humans. Um, calm down I didn’t say more than my baby. But seriously, my cats
take up a lot of my heart and time, and they are more fun than real people.

Be totally awesome. Like supermom.

Ok, so most of this was a little tongue in cheek and I’m not trying to
imply that my life won’t change, or that I know I will be ‘so different’ and I
know what kind of parent I’ll be, because you really what do know, anyway. I can only hope I’ll be as awesome as Jana! (Jana’s note: she will be! I don’t set that high of a standard).

Linking up with Liz and Kathy:

10 things to know before visiting the South

September 15, 2014 by Jana 17 Comments

This is the first in a series of guest posts from some of my very kind, generous, and talented blogger friends who are covering for me while I’m at a blog conference in New Orleans, where my blog mentoring program is putting on a live session the final day of the conference. While I plan to do some sightseeing and maybe a little drinking, I will actually be doing real stuff, too!

First up is my good friend Nadine, who blogs at Life by Nadine Lynn. Her use of ecards is spectacular, and she makes me laugh almost every single day. She loves beer even more than I do and I wish I lived closer to her so we could hang out. Saying that is probably the only time I’ve ever said I wish I could visit Alabama.

Since Jana is in New Orleans, I thought I should give her some pointers on “southern things” from a Yankee living in the South’s prospective (Jana’s note: I live in Delaware, which thinks it’s the South but really it’s not. Someone needs to tell the natives that).

1. Y’all – This should be obvious, but y’all is plural for you all or you guys. All y’all means a large group. I myself still cannot say this word properly, but I don’t cringe when I hear it anymore. I sort of like it. Shhhh don’t tell anyone!

2. Bless Your Heart – Southerner’s find it rather rude and inappropriate to call people stupid or idiots. Instead, they say phrases like “Oh, bless your heart!” Really it is like saying, “fuck you…you are dumb”.

3. College Football – It doesn’t matter if you don’t give a damn about college football, you MUST pick a team. The rivalries down here are real y’all! And the SEC is the only conference as far as we are concerned. I mean, we have our own network!

4. Sweet Tea – When you order your tea in the south, you are going to get it sweet unless you specify un-sweet. Don’t you dare say how gross sugar water tea is; there will be none of that nonsense! Also while we are on the topic, instead of pop or soda….everything is Coke.

5. BBQ – The south is very serious about their BBQ. BBQ is not created equal. Don’t even try to compare Carolina BBQ to Memphis BBQ to Alabama BBQ. IT’S NOT THE SAME!

6. Mason Jars – Everything tastes better in a mason jar. Don’t question the logic! They can even be used as décor too!

7. Initials/Monograms – They are on everything!

8. Attire – Down here, you sort of are on display all the time. Everywhere you go you want to consider it a fashion show. You should see all the dresses that get worn to football games. What happened to team sweatshirts? Not down south!

9. Mosquitos – They are the size of a small bird down here. Don’t be alarmed. Actually, be very alarmed!

10. Humidity – It might only be in the 80’s or 90’s, but with the humidity at 34958869058%….let’s just say you have no clue what hot means yet!

Well Jana, I hope you have an awesome time in New Orleans! It sounds like you might need a passport to travel below the Mason Dixon line, but you indeed do not!

Make sure you follow Nadine on Twitter and on Instagram

Friday favorites, volume 19

September 12, 2014 by Jana 27 Comments

This is my last full week at home before I leave for my blog conference in New Orleans, where my mentoring program is putting on a live session. And the word of the week is–stressed! There is still so much to do, along with a big announcement about my mentoring program that might or might not involve Jenn from Business, Life, & Design (hint: it does. Also, I got to meet her on Tuesday because FINALLY there is another Delaware blogger and talking to her proves once again that in Delaware, you are only one degree removed from everyone else). We’ll be sharing that on Tuesday so make sure you look for that. I also have some fabulous guest posts planned from some of my favorite bloggers and I can’t wait for you guys to read their posts.

And now, what you’re here for. Friday favorites.

Song

So, in 2012, I won NaNoWriMo and I’ve been working on that book. However, I don’t know that I want to keep going with it but rather, start a new one. I’d lie if I didn’t say that this song, one of my all-time favorites, is an inspiration for the new story I’ve been drafting in my head. I know I’m usually a hard rock gal, but I love me some Better Than Ezra, too. And that’s whose song this is. Hope you enjoy it! They’re also from New Orleans and that’s totally not an intentional characteristics for this week’s pick but it’s fitting.

Frugal find

Any time I can buy clothes with a gift card, it’s my favorite purchase. I bought some desperately needed T-shirts at Old Navy with a gift card and also revisited MAC for another back to MAC purchase. Free stuff FTW!!!

Book/TV thing

I signed up for Amazon Prime earlier this year and was pretty unimpressed with it. Until. HBO put their shows in the inventory. My husband and I started watching Deadwood together and I started The Wire by myself. #obsessed Have you watched The Wire? If not, you need to. I don’t care that I’m coming into it years after it ended. It’s still an amazing show, and since it started in like 2002 or something, it’s fun reminisce about technology and fashion and all that good stuff.

As far as my favorite book thing, I didn’t come across any new or exciting book news this week. But I did find this post about authors who found success after 50 so I still have hope.

Internet reads

Considering I’ve been elbow deep in conference preparation, I haven’t had much time to read anything other than a book at night before bed or while I’m waiting for my daughter in the school pick-up line but I did come across this accurate depiction of weird fights that all married couples have, this interview with Rick Springfield talking about his depression (also, his memoir is great so far, and he definitely doesn’t shy away from discussion depression), and this pretty cool list of amazing TV characters that weren’t supposed to last (hey, there, Jesse Pinkman and Sophia Petrillo. I’m so glad you survived!)

Quote

Funnies

I want him as my pet

Humane torture. I like it.

I will be saying this A LOT next week

Sorry I’m a little light on the funny this week. It’s been that kind of week.

Enjoy your weekend! I’m hoping for rain and a cancellation of a football game so I can binge watch The Wire some more.

Linking up with Amanda

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