Jana Says

How to be a terrible neighbor

October 9, 2014 by Jana 28 Comments

A little over a year ago, my family moved from our townhouse into a single family house. We lived in the townhouse for 9 years and, overall, we had great neighbors. Specifically the houses on either side of us and we knew that when we moved, we’d probably not find neighbors as good as them.

We know how lucky we were. And we remember it. Every day.

When you move from houses that are attached to houses that are not attached, it not only puts physical distance between you and your neighbors, but it also creates a bit of a personal distance. We all live in our own little bubble and I swear, I haven’t seen the family that lives 2 houses down from us in about a month. That said, we have gotten to know our neighbors within our immediate vicinity and despite our differences, we all have one thing in common.

We all hate the same house.

Maybe hate is a strong word. How about we all dislike them immensely and with great passion? Sounds a little better. Anyway, the reason we all can’t stand them is because they’ve essentially written the manual on how to be crappy neighbors. And, because I’m nice and thoughtful, I figured I’d share that manual with you guys in case you ever want to make your entire block dislike you (which you might, so consider this a PSA).

It’s a pretty easy process, and as long as you follow these steps, you’ll put yourself on track:

1. Be unfriendly. Never smile, wave, make eye contact, acknowledge or do anything that would remotely look like a friendly gesture. Forget small talk; that’s not for you. Nope, for you, it’s essential that you deliberately and purposefully ignore everyone.

2. Be noisy. Especially at inappropriate times, like midnight on a Tuesday. How are you going to make everyone dislike you if you’re not yelling at your spouse or revving your engine late a night, while people are trying to sleep?

3. Be flagrant with your smoking. You smoke and everyone needs to know it. For you, it’s not enough to sit on your front steps smoking. Nope, you need to take that into other neighbor’s garages and leave your cigarette butts in front of other homes.

4. Never control your dogs. It’s not enough that your incessantly yappy dogs bother you. They have to bother the whole street! So make sure you have them outside, where they can serenade the whole block but also make sure that you don’t put them on a leash so they can shit in different yards. Variety is the spice of life, amirite? And as a bonus, never clean it up, either. You consider that a gift!

5. Let your kids run wild. And make sure you’re not watching them, either. It takes a village, isn’t that what they say? Well, to you, you’re not actually part of that village but it’s totally okay to let your kids run loose and let the village take care of them while you’re inside doing who knows what. You need a break, after all.

Remember, you can balance all of this out with making sure your lawn is mowed, your trash isn’t strewn about, and you only have a few house calls from the local police (which might or might have to do with the drugs you might or might not be running out of your garage. I don’t know, though. I’m not here to judge how you make a living. If you can afford your mortgage, then have at it).

Okay, so in reality I know that my neighbors could be much, much worse. But this kind of behavior takes a lot of getting used to and I have a really low threshold for bullshit, drama, and people who don’t watch their pets, children, and have a blatant disrespect for others around them. And to be fair, it’s mainly the mom. The dad is an okay dude and the kids are necessarily horrible. I know they’re doing the best they can.

I just wish they’d be quieter.

And corral their dogs.

I don’t think that’s asking too much.

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More rational irrational fears

October 8, 2014 by Jana 31 Comments

Remember last week how I made everyone feel better about themselves and also slightly less crazy when I shared some of the ridiculous things I’m afraid of? Well, friends, get ready because I’m about to do it again.

That’s right. I’m coming at you with a whole new list of completely irrational things that I am genuinely terrified of for no other reason than my brain is broken and I clearly have major issues.

1. Cocaine. Not only have I never tried this drug because, you know, it’s cocaine but also when I was in 8th grade or so I read that Sweet Valley High book where their friend Regina tries coke at a party and DIES of a heart attack. Best “just say no to drugs” campaign ever.

2. Being poisoned. I can’t even explain this one away with a back story but I legit fear someone putting something in my drink or food and then I die.

3. Falling. Specifically, down a flight of stairs and breaking bones. I did fall roller skating when I was 7 and broke my wrist and spent 6 weeks in a cast so this one actually has basis in fact. But that was in a crowded public place. I fear doing it down the stairs in my house and being stuck and not being able to get my phone and call for help.

4. Being impaled. See also: being stabbed. Like being poisoned, I have no reason for being scared of this but I just am. I should probably stop watching violent crime shows. It might help ease this particular fear.

5. Losing my luggage. Not that I am a world traveler nor do I fly more than twice a year, so the odds of this happening are slim, but every time I do fly and I have to check my luggage, I have a panic attack that my suitcase winds up somewhere I’m not and someone else has my stuff and then I have to buy all new things or be smelly and dirty.

6. Getting on the wrong plane/bus/train. Sort of the same as losing my luggage except this time, I’m the one who gets lost. And then I wind up somewhere I don’t know and I have a horrible sense of direction and I get even more lost and my phone is dead and I can’t call for help or use a map and no one will help me and then I just cry. Or maybe get abducted. Either one is totally plausible.

7. Trucks. Specifically, driving behind trucks. It terrifies me when I can’t see traffic lights or other cars, and when I’m stuck between two trucks, I’m fairly confident I’m going to get smushed. I realize this puts no faith in the drivers of said trucks and I have more respect for them than that but it does nothing to ease my fear.

8. Home invasions. Again, it’s probably too many crime shows. And news stories. But this is a fear I’ve had going back to my childhood in one of the safest, crime free places on the planet. It won’t go away. It’s also the reason that when we first moved into our house, we kept our dog locked away in our room while we were out. Just in case.

9. Foul balls. I love baseball. I love going to baseball games. But unlike everyone else in the stands, when a foul ball comes my way, I don’t charge for it. Not only do I think I’ll take a tumble over my section (see: fear of falling) but when I was 16, I got hit in the face with a line drive and I can’t shake the thought that it’ll happen again. So when a foul ball comes my way, I cower.

10. My dogs being stolen. If I take my dogs with me and I have to run a quick errand, I will leave them in the car (weather dependent, of course). In the less than 10 minutes it will take to run said errand, I am paranoid that when I come out, my dogs will have been thieved from my car and I’ll never see them again. I also fear that someone will climb our fence and take them from the backyard when I let them out. It doesn’t mater that I watch them like a hawk (which, incidentally, I’m also afraid of). The fear is real.

Bonus fear, as told by a dog:

I think this is it for the irrational fears. The rest that I have are completely rational and make sense and I don’t like to talk about them that much because they’re not really very entertaining.

Did I miss any? What other ones do you guys have? Do you think this list covers any of them?

Linking up with Kathy and Liz

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Show us your books!!!

October 7, 2014 by Jana 29 Comments

Last month, Steph and I posted our book reviews on the same day and from that, we got to talking and decided we’d start a monthly book chat where we share and review books we read the previous month. It’s one of the dozens of things I’ve come to love and appreciate about bloggers–most of us share a huge love of books and we have no qualms about recommending our favorites (and warn against the ones we ~~hate~~ don’t like as much). So, in addition to sharing our reading choices, we want to know what you read, too.

In other words, we want you to show us your books!!!

How you choose to do it is up to you. You can write a thorough review, you can summarize in a few sentences, or you can be like Lisa and do it in 140 characters or less. There are no rules other than to let us know what you read and what you thought.

As for me, in September (and by “September”, I mean the 4 weeks after Steph and I had the conversation so maybe it includes a little bit of October, too) I read 5 books (well, technically 6 but one was SO, SO BAD, I’m pretending I didn’t actually read it). I liked all of them; however, there were a few I liked way more than others. So let’s start with those.

Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell. You can read the Goodreads summary here. Jana says: I loved this book. Not quite as much as Eleanor and Park because the little snippets of the Harry Potter-like stories got on my nerves after awhile, and I found myself skipping over those at times. Trust when I say it didn’t impact the overall story. I adored the characters, identified immensely with the main character, Cath, and the plot was so realistic. If you’re looking for a quick, can’t put it down book, read this one.

Late, Late at Night by Rick Springfield. You can read the Goodreads summary here. Jana says: I am now officially obsessed with Rick Springfield. Yes, that Rick Springfield. The guy who performs “Jessie’s Girl”. But after reading the book, you realize he is so much more than that. Yes, he’s basically a scumbag but he admits it. He admits all of his ugly secrets and flaws and how he’s spent almost his whole life trying to fight his demons and be a better person. The way he talks about his depression is so open and honest and raw, and I believe that if you want to understand how depression truly operates, you need to read this book. He makes you realize that depression isn’t just chronic sadness; it’s a lurking presence, waiting to come out when you least expect it.

Where’d You Go, Bernadette? by Maria Semple. You can read the Goodreads summary here. Jana says: The way the book is written took some getting used to but once you figure it out, it’s so worth the effort (like The Time Traveler’s Wife but better). It’s such a creative, well done, intriguing story and like Fangirl, you forget at times that it’s actually a YA book. Honestly, with the amount of quality YA books I’ve been reading lately, I feel kind of cheated that all I had was the VC Andrews saga/trash and Sweet Valley High. Or maybe that’s all I chose to read. Definitely one of those.

And now for the ones I liked but not nearly as much.

How To Tell Toledo From the Night Sky by Lydia Netzer. You can read the Goodreads summary here. Jana says: I did like this book, even with all the sciency stuff mixed in. I mean, it did bore me a little at time and I found myself not falling in love with the characters like in some of the other books I read this month, but overall, it was a good read. Took me longer to finish than the others because it got tedious but it was great for the plane ride and as a read before bed.

Accidents of Marriage by Randy Susan Meyers. You can read the Goodreads summary here. Jana says: I wanted to like this book so much more than I did. I love the premise of this book and it had so much potential, yet for me, it fell a flat. The characters weren’t developed enough or something and I found myself getting annoyed with every single one of them. There were plot points that felt unfinished or the resolution was too simplified. It wasn’t terrible but I wouldn’t put it high on my list of books I’d recommend.

I’m excited for my October reads and I’ve already gotten started reading The Rosie Project. You’ll have to wait for next month to hear what I think of it!

The next chat is on November 10, and then the second Tuesday of every month going forward. We hope you’ll join us!

Tell me: What books did you read in September?

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10 things I wish I knew when I started blogging

October 6, 2014 by Jana 27 Comments

I had originally planned to write today’s post as an instructional manual on how to be the world’s shittiest neighbor. And I assure that’s coming later in the week because really, who doesn’t need that information and also, I’d be a terrible person to withhold it from you now that I know all the secrets. But when I saw today’s prompt from Helene and Taylor’s #Blogtober14, I had to get on it.

Today’s prompt is “10 Things You’d Tell Yourself When You Started Blogging”. This one is a big one for me because if I were starting a blog now, I’d probably do everything different than when I started 3 or so years ago. I mean, I’d still write and all that, but I’d have a completely different focus and I’d approach it in a different manner. I’m also confident I’d have a different attitude towards blogging which would probably change everything.

The good news is that blogging is fluid and you can change direction anytime you want. So I’m working on that. And as I talk to myself as a new/old blogger, here’s the lessons I learned and what I keep reminding my new blogger self.

Bloggers are friendlier than you think. Even though someone has a huge audience, they will still take the time to talk to you. Reach out to them and let them you know you like what they do. You never know what can happen.
Not everyone will like what you have to say. That’s fine. There’s enough readers to go around and some are bound to enjoy your writing.
Be considerate to your readers. Respond to their comments. Engage with them. Post regularly. And if you need to abandon you blog, write a quick note thanking everyone and letting them know you appreciate their months or years of support.
Have a life. Blogging can take up all the time if you let it. But you can’t let it. You still need to enjoy life and have experiences and not ignore all the real people even though blogger friends are usually way better. In fact, doing all of that will make you an even better blogger.
Stats don’t matter as much as you think. Yes, likes and shares are indicators that what you’re writing resonates with readers. But they’re vanity metrics. The real value is in the community and the relationships and the content you create. You can’t always measure that in numbers.
Be authentic. Even if you’re writing as a caricature or fictional version of yourself, be honest in that voice. Readers can tell when you’re bullshitting them. So don’t do it.
Never share anything you’re not comfortable with. There are people who will want to work with you but only under certain circumstances or they might try to pressure you to write about a topic or a person you don’t want to. It doesn’t matter. Don’t let them bully you. If you don’t want to share or write something, don’t. Your blog, your space, your rules.
Set some ground rules. This is a follow-up to number 7. How do you want your blog to look? What do you want to write about? How often do you want to write? What’s your commenting policy? What social media channels do you want to use? How do you want to interact with readers, bloggers, and brands? How do you want to brand yourself? This will certainly all evolve over time but always keep this in mind. This is how you’ll present yourself and your blog to the world and it’s okay to have complete control over it.
Define your purpose for blogging. Everyone starts blogging for a different reason. Some do it for fun, some do it for work, some do it for platform building, and some do it because they think it’s a way to make millions of dollars. All of those are fine (albeit maybe not entirely realistic) reasons. But you need to know what your reason is and who you’re writing for. Once you establish that, everything else will eventually fall into place.
Have fun but don’t pressure yourself. If done right, blogging can be one of the most fun choices you make. You’ll interact and form relationships with people you never thought you would. You’ll have weird, interesting experiences. You’ll learn all kinds of new skills and tricks and vocabulary words. You’ll get free shit! But if you start taking blogging too seriously, or if it becomes more of a chore than fun, it’s time to take a step back and reevaluate.

I could definitely add another 10 items to this list, and maybe I will one day, but I’m curious. Other bloggers, what would you tell yourself if you had a Deloreon and could talk to your new blogger self?

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Friday favorites, volume 21

October 3, 2014 by Jana 30 Comments

I’m not really sure what to say about this week. My motivation to do anything except read books or watch The Wire is nonexistent, I’m running on almost no sleep because my dog thinks it’s fun to jump on and off the 465104 per night and he’s too stupid to figure out how to get back on (it is at this point I ask for recommendations for places to buy doggie steps. I have officially become that person), and the child’s first cheer competition is on Sunday, meaning we have to leave at the crack of dawn to get there on time or be subjected to cheer wrath. I want no part of that.

On the plus side, I have a great stack of books to read and if my husband drives home from the competition, I’ll get to take a nap. I’ve also started using a blog planner and it seems to be working to keep me organized in one part of my life, and I finally have a good, consolidated place to keep all my ideas. Because while I love all my pieces of paper, as well as the occasional napkin, it’s nice to not lose my ideas. Now if I could just move this newfound organization to other areas of my life, I’d be all set.

Favorite song

I’m going 90s on this one. I have been longing for my 90s music lately. It’s not that new music is bad, per se, it’s that I’ve been, for some reason, swept up in nostalgia for my high school and college days. Let’s be clear: high school was a fucking nightmare. I have no interest in reliving that. However, we had some great music. I miss that.

Favorite frugal find

Since I’m participating in Steph’s October Wallet Watch, I have not been spending money. Or even thinking about spending money. Okay, fine, I’ve been thinking about it but I haven’t been doing it. But I did have to buy the child new cheer sneakers for her competitions and thanks to the Omni Cheer website, I was able to find her new shoes for 60% off. Cheerleading is so damn expensive, I was thrilled to find something that saves me money.

Favorite book/TV thing

One of my boyfriends, Wentworth Miller, will be on TV this month and not in a Law and Order: SVU rerun (which I confess I compulsively check to see if the one episode he was on is airing). It’s for the CW’s version of The Flash and while watching Gotham fulfills my obligation to all things superhero, I’ll make an exception and watch The Flash. Because this:

As far as books go, I don’t necessarily have a favorite this week but I do have a huge stack of books that I cannot wait to get through. I finished Fangirl yesterday and started Accidents of Marriage. Also on tap: The Rosie Project, Me Before You, 3 business/blogging type books, and Greil Marcus’s A New Literary History of America. That’s in addition to a bunch of eBooks and since I’m now obsessed with him, Rick Springfield’s fiction book, Magnificent Vibration, which I recently placed on hold at the library.

Favorite internet reads

If you’re like me and hate taking pictures, this post on how to look better in photos based on your body type is super helpful (I still opt for the “completely avoid the camera” pose but this stuff might work, too). Rolling Stone has long been my favorite magazine, and Sons of Anarchy (are you watching? Is this season amazing or what?) is definitely one of my all-time favorite shows, and the profile on creator Kurt Sutter is basically everything. This post on successful people posed as societal stereotypes was quite eye opening (and props to my girl Athena for sharing it on Facebook). And, finally, this Buzzfeed post on sorority rush on Instagram vs. rush in real life. It all so true, and I loved the last picture more than all of the rest because maybe that’s my sorority (not my chapter, but my sorority).

Favorite quote

Favorite funnies

Much more practical than the academic Master’s I have

Me, every day lately

WHICH ONE IS RIGHT???

True story

I want to know who spied on me long enough to draw this

I hope you all have a good weekend! See you on Monday with a post on how to be a shitty neighbor (or, how my neighbors do everything wrong and it makes me hate them). Oh, and if you want to see what life looks like from the sidelines of an outdoor cheerleading competition, make sure to follow me on Instagram. Pictures served with a side of snarky comments.

Linking up with Amanda as always

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How to be a terrible neighbor

More rational irrational fears

Show us your books!!!

10 things I wish I knew when I started blogging

Friday favorites, volume 21

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