Most people I know have lost someone close to them. A friend, a parent, a sibling, a grandparent…it doesn’t matter. Loss is loss. And it sucks and it’s painful and no matter how hard you try, there’s always a part of you that’s grieving. This actually happened to me at FinCon.
During Adam Baker’s incredible opening keynote speech, I walked out of the room. Why? Not because his speech sucked but because I was crying. Why? The topic was death. And although Baker presented it in such as way that it was meant to be inspiring (and it was!), it just so happened that that particular day was my grandfather’s birthday. My grandfather, who was one of my favorite people ever, passed away 4 years ago and the whole combination of the topic and the day just made me burst into tears at an inappropriate time (fortunately, I think everyone thought I looked like a mess from being hungover, not crying, which was nice).
But most people will tell you that even if you’ve lost someone, that person is always there in spirit. I find that to be a comforting thought. I like the thought that my grandfather is watching me and I hope that I make him proud. He was a man who was nice to everyone, hated debt and owing people money, and cared more for his family than anything else. He was never fancy or showy but he left an permanent mark on everyone he met. I hope that what I do carries on that legacy, even if in a small way.
At my wedding, my husband and I had a second “first” dance. My husband lost all of his grandparents at a young age, so their absence has always been noted. However, we both feel like, at our wedding, his grandparents and my Nanny (my grandfather was still alive at my wedding, although that was the first time we noticed symptoms of his Alzheimer’s), were there, watching the day. There were all kinds of signs that they were there, too, which is super cool.
Anyway, the song that we danced to was Train’s “When I Look To the Sky”. It’s not necessarily motivational but it does serve as a reminder that the ones we love are never really gone.
Both my grandmas were super strong ladies in their own ways. I see reminders of them all the time, especially if I have a tough decision to make. Not in the same category, but I lost my dog earlier this year. I’d had her long before my husband or daughter. We used to hike all over the place, and I still think about her on every trail. Hopefully, she’s running around somewhere up there.
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Lossing someone does suck…and only time will help. But there’s never a full recovery. Thanks for opening up on your losing your family members…it’s not always easy.
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