Today is Valentine’s Day. I do not celebrate Valentine’s Day for several reasons. One, I cannot get behind a holiday where my husband (or anyone’s husband, significant other, partner, whatever) is made to feel like a piece of shit if he doesn’t spend $80,000 on flowers and jewelry. Two, I cannot get behind a holiday where anyone is forced to tell me that he loves me. If someone loves me, he should say it whenever he feels like it, not on some arbitrary day. And three, I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day because of one specific incident that happened about 12 years ago.
My husband and I have been together since October 1996. That’s a lot of Valentine’s Days. Our first Valentine’s Day, I was drunk and he spent the night holding my hair back while I threw up.That’s actually the sweetest thing he’s done on Valentine’s Day. My husband is a notoriously bad gift giver, and his Valentine’s Day gifts are excruciatingly terrible. One year, for my present, he bought me a balloon and cheesecake. While there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with a balloon and cheesecake, it was clearly something he had picked up last minute with absolutely no thought (the cheesecake was not exactly my favorite flavor). Then, to make matters worse, he ate the damn cheesecake while I was in the shower. After that, I was done. I couldn’t be disappointed anymore. So I quit Valentine’s Day.
It’s something I’ve maintained since Valentine’s Day 2000. And I’m not backing down. I think it’s a stupid waste of holiday, designed to make men in relationships feel guilty, women in relationships feel disappointed and single people feel depressed and pissed off. A happy day, indeed.
To celebrate how much money I’ve saved by not participating in this ridiculous greeting card holiday, I’ve selected the most romantic song I could think of–Ugly Kid Joe’s “Everything About You”.
Enjoy!
Reactions in no particular order:
Crap, I didnt’ HAVE to spend $80,000 on flowers! I hope I still have my receipt.
Every wonder whether the cheesecake was all part of his plan to get you to swear off Valentines Day? You know…in the fold a few batches of laundry the wrong way and eventually you’ll be forbidden from doing laundry sort of way… #SlyAsAFox
I’m with you on forced celebrations!
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I wish he was that crafty to have done it on purpose. But his response when I was stunned that he ate the cheesecake? “I didn’t think you’d want it”. #Imarriedanidiot
I don’t have quite the hatred towards Valentine’s Day that you do but we don’t celebrate it either. I don’t have a problem with taking a few days out of the year and designating them as special days to show our love. (anniversaries, mother’s day, father’s day, stuff like that) But yeah, it’s just a day and how much love you are shown all the other days is much more important than what gift you got today.
Ashley @ Money Talks recently posted…Battling Your Debt Fears
I don’t mind the other special days of the year as much as this one. I’m all for celebrating people and love and all but Valentine’s Day has gone above and beyond what is sane and normal.
Your post pretty much resonated with my thoughts. Who came up with this holiday anyway? And why, why do we need to do something today to show that we love and care. What about all the rest of the year or the rest of our life?
Aloysa @ My Broken Coin recently posted…50 Things No One Told Me About America
I think that there are a lot of women whose husband/boyfriends/significant others don’t do a lot throughout the year so they count on this day to essentially make up for it. It makes me sad, actually.
Wow. 7th grade flashbacks going on here. My friends and I had such a crush on the lead singer of Ugly Kid Joe. That is a Valentine’s day present in itself. 🙂
Yeah, he’s pretty to look at. And those? Are the kinds of flashbacks I don’t mind having 🙂
I’m with you Jana, I’m done with commercial holidays. Funny, I gave a cheesecake for Valentines Day way back when I was first dating. We broke a week later. If only I could have shared that lesson with your husband before he made the same mistake.
Hunter – Financially Consumed recently posted…There’s No Escaping The Retail Calendar
Hunter, you need to preach that wise tip so no men ever make this mistake again. Cheesecake=terrible Valentine’s Day present.
I happen to love Valentine’s Day and all holidays for that matter. I just see them all as a way to reinforce what we teach all year long to our kids. As always we do things our way and that does not include spending money on the commercial aspect of things. That means making neighbor gifts, gifts for our friends, writing list of why we love each other (having a brother and sister do this for each other is priceless). For us it’s not just a one time a year affair so celebrating for us is just an extension. When my kids think of Valentine’s day or any holiday I hope that they will always think of service (as in serving others) and not Halmark 🙂
anotherhousewife recently posted…My Favorite Valentine
You have the best attitude about everything. I love that you can always find a way to teach your kids to be selfless, even on a day that tends to be totally selfish.
You quit valentine’s day?? .. Awesome.
Romance means a lot more when it isn’t prescribed by Hallmark.
jefferson recently posted…Valentine’s Day; Delivering Myself From Debt
Yup. I quit Valentine’s Day. Of course, having a kid makes it more difficult but I’ve quit it for myself. The husband knows and accepts it, too.
And you’re exactly right–romance does mean a lot more when it’s not dictated by Hallmark. I can’t stand that they think that all women want the same thing. I think cards are a waste of money and I hate taking care of flowers. So that? Would not work for me.
No one told me it was a holiday! Just another day in my house, I’d rather (try to) be spontaneously romantic than have someone telling me to do it. Love that song by the way, one of my favourites 😉
Shaun @ Money Cactus recently posted…A Winners Guide To Buying on eBay
I’m so glad you like the song, too!
Spontaneous romance is definitely better than regulated romance.
We celebrated but not on the actual day so we didn’t have to be in a crowded restaurant or pay 10 times as much for flowers.
Thanks for the UKJ song. I had totally forgot about that song, it made me flashback to my early 20’s bar days.
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Songs that bring back bar memories are my favorite…I’m glad I was able to to that for you!