Jana’s rules for Zumba

It’s not a secret around here that if I’m going to exercise, it’s most likely going to take the shape of Zumba. It’s my preferred method of working out for a variety of reasons (the least of which is that it doesn’t bore me to tears) and it’s the only one I haven’t quit on in a few months time. And after over a year of doing it at least 3 times per week, I’ve noticed some things (of course I have. It’s what I do).

And because I’m amazingly helpful, I’ve assembled all I’ve noticed into a helpful list of rules so that if (and when) you decide to try it, you know how to act accordingly (oh, men? This goes for you, too. There are men who take Zumba and they look totally fine doing it. Plus, if you’re single, it’s a great way to meet women. Automatic conversation starter! See how helpful I am?).

So. Jana’s rules for Zumba. You can thank me later:

1. Arrive on time. In fact, arrive a few minutes early and secure your spot. There is nothing worse than a straggler who pushes her way into the spot she wants 10 minutes after class has started.
2. Respect the space of others. We move around a lot. Like A LOT. Don’t stand so close to someone else that they run the risk of smacking you accidentally on purpose as a warning. Or asking you to move or giving you nasty “let’s fight” looks. Not that I have done any of these.
3. Wear a bra for the boobs you have not the boobs you want. Support the girls. They’ll thank you for it. Also, no one wants to see your goodies. (This also applies to workout gear. Wear something that fits and covers places that should be covered. A quick glance in a mirror before you leave the house should help).
4. Know your place. Okay, that sounds rude. But if you’re new or can’t follow routines, please don’t stand in the front row. Your unfamiliarity with what the instructor is doing, or possess an inability to pick up on moves quickly (like me), is distracting. You can move up front as you become more familiar with the routines (note: quality of dancing is irrelevant. You can be a terrible dancer but still know the moves. In other words, me).
5. Keep moving. We all screw up. Even the instructors. But when you screw up and just STOP, you throw everyone around you off and you might cause someone to fall or get hurt, particularly if they bump into you. And if you don’t like a song and don’t want to dance to it, step off to the side. Take a break. Don’t just stand there. 
6. Along the same lines as #5. MOVE. YOUR. BODY. If you’re not going to move at all, why go through the trouble of going to the gym? You can accomplish the same thing staying at home with way less effort. Note: Unless you don’t know what you’re doing and you’re up front, the rest of us don’t care what you look like. We just want you to move.
7. Wear deodorant. It makes me sad that I had to write that.
8. Don’t be a space stealer. If someone leaves in the middle of song or to get a drink, don’t sneak into her spot. More than likely, she will return. Taking a break is not permission to sneak into someone’s spot. If you wanted a better spot, refer to rule #1. 
9. Prepare to sweat. I don’t care if you’re in the best shape ever, this is a shitload of fast paced cardio. It’s fucking hard and you will sweat. Don’t complain about it. We’re all sweating because we’re supposed to. So bring a towel and suck it up. 

Follow these rules and you’ll be an A student. Nothing is worse than going to a class and having an asshole with poor Zumba class etiquette ruin your experience. Don’t be that asshole.