Unless you live under a rock (in which case, you’re most likely warmer than I am right now), you’ve heard that, in some places, it’s freaking cold out. You’re probably sick of hearing about it. You’re probably tired of seeing pictures about it. You probably want it to go away.
I’m right there with you (despite the fact that tomorrow’s post is also about the cold weather. No shame, folks. No shame).
To make it more bearable, even for those of you who deign to live in warmer places, I’ve devised a handy little game. Okay, fine. It’s a drinking game. And it goes a little something like this:
Open your Facebook news feed. Scroll through it. Yep, this game makes FB useful.
For every status update about cold weather, have one drink.
For every status update about snow, have one drink.
For every link or shared update from a news outlet about snow and/or the cold weather, have one drink.
For every status update from someone who lives in a warm place showing off about how it is not cold or snowing where they live, have one drink and vow to stop talking to that person.
For every picture of snow, have two drinks.
For every picture of a child playing in snow or coming in from the snow, have two drinks and be glad that’s not your kid because there are few things more annoying than disrobing a child who’s been playing in the snow.
For every picture of a family posing happily by a fireplace or drinking hot chocolate or looking otherwise pleasant and not all miserable that they’re stuck in all that snow and ice age weather, have three drinks and tell yourself that they’re probably lying and that not 5 minutes ago, they were all probably fighting because who doesn’t fight after they’ve been stuck in a house together for days on end.
There are no rules about the kind of alcohol you use or what constitutes one drink. We’re all adults. You may use your own judgment.
If you feel any remorse about playing this game in the middle of the day, you can choose to wait until evening or you can consider it a way of organizing and purging all the alcohol in your house, something you’ve been meaning to do but never quite have the time. It’s about efficiency and organization, folks, and also, don’t people keep warmer when they’re drinking? Consider this a way of staying warm without increasing your heating bill. Frugality FTW! Just something to think about.
If you’d prefer, use Instagram instead of Facebook. How drunk you’d like to be will probably dictate this choice.
You can also put your own twist on this by adding in Twitter
That’s it. Hope you have fun. Happy drinking!
PSA: Be responsible. If you’re drinking, don’t drive. And if the roads are really bad where you live, don’t drive. And, under no circumstances, should you ever drive on bad roads after you’ve been drinking. I know we all know this but just in case anyone out there needed reminding.
Ugh, my liver shrank just picturing this. Which is usually the sign of a good game.
Me, I prefer reality show drinking games. You watch an episode or two, establish some basic, stupid behaviors you hate and write ’em down. From then on, you have to drink when it happens.
Keeping Up With the Kardashians nearly killed us.
Abigail @ipickuppennies recently posted…In praise of an ordinary life
Something like that might actually get me to watch a reality show.
Yep, that’s the only time we watch them.
Abigail @ipickuppennies recently posted…In praise of an ordinary life
or a reality show like Real World with fights or bleeps as the drinking criteria. You’ll be hammered in no time
Hahaha this is hilarious! Reminds me of the old Miracle on 34th Street with the drunk Santa at the beginning saying “Well it’s cold, a man’s got to do something to keep warm!” 😀
Julia recently posted…Weekend Recap: Valentine’s Edition
This is hilarious and a sure fired way to get drunk off your ass missy! Haha!
Nadine recently posted…Weekend Shenanigans
LOl this is great! I might have to play this tomorrow while drinking spiked hot chocolate by my warm fireplace 🙂
Rachel recently posted…Banana Ice Cream Recipe!
hahahaha I will die. I already know my instagram is overrun. But I’m going to play, like a trooper! Too fun.
Stephanie recently posted…4 Staples of Vegas, 4 Things I’m Bringing, and the HP x360
This is so funny! I need to get some wine and do this. Just going through my FB newsfeed from this past weekend and I will be smashed by 9. Is that unacceptable for a Monday?? I’ve just had it with winter.
Karen recently posted…That’s What She Said: Show Me Your Brave
Being in the frozen tundra over hear if I played I would be drunk in 3.2 seconds!!!
Kerry recently posted…Is it Spring yet?
This is a fun game! I’d be pretty smashed.
Amber recently posted…The Introvert Who Shows Up
You do realize I’ll be drunk in five minutes if I play this game. And, I like to drink.
Erin recently posted…Sunday Funday
I love everything about this. We all know trapped in a house together is like being on Survivor.
hahah Im not even in the states and Id be drunk since half my family and a ton of friends live there. Yikes!
Kay R. recently posted…Carnival Confessions
Bahahahah! So doing this after the next big snow!
Amanda recently posted…Mooooooooooo!