Last week, I did something I never thought I’d do. I quit my job.
Let me explain why.
To say that my job didn’t contribute to my mental health issues would be a lie. Why? Because for the last 10 years, I have seen nothing but some of the worst humanity has to offer. After a while, it starts to take its toll on you. Not only that, I started to realize I could no longer function in such a rigid environment as a government job demands. It’s just not for me, and it was starting to bleed over into other parts of my life. Which really is not good.
So, despite the fact that not every aspect of the job was horrible, I did what I needed to do and let it go.
Before I made the decision, I analyzed every single possible consequence. After waffling back and forth for weeks, engaging in ridiculously long conversations with my husband and therapist, and staying awake many nights stressing about whether or not this was the right thing to do, I came to 4 conclusions that led to my decision. These conclusions solidified that I was making the right choice, and I bit the bullet and resigned my position.
I’ll admit that everyone has a different thought process and what I used to make my decision might not be what someone else would use. But it worked for me, and I thought I’d let you in on what goes through my head in times of big, life altering decisions. These were my guiding principles:
Finances
This where I was most stressed. After years of paying down debt, my husband and I were finally in a position to start catching up, getting ahead, and having a bit of fun with our money. Losing my salary would mean going back to living on a tight budget, watching our frivolous expenditures, and perhaps putting off or readjusting our goals for certain things (like buying a new house). But there were two elements we were overlooking: we had enough to meet all of our necessities just with his salary and in the long run, happiness means more than money (provided our basic needs were met). Yes, it’s going to be a tough adjustment but one that we were both willing to make. It helps that I have a stable part time job that will fill in a lot of the gaps.
We also realized, probably for the first time, just what having no consumer debt means. It means options. And options? Are nice.
Support system
I’m not really one who cares what strangers think of me and my choices. However, I do care deeply about what my family and friends think. It’s not so much that I want them to agree with me; I just want them to support me, even if they believe what I’m doing is horribly stupid. In this respect, I am so fortunate. I have an amazing support system. Everyone I talked to encouraged me to do what I thought was best for me and my family, and many of them even believe I have the ability to make a living doing what I want to do (and have wanted to do my entire life). I would not have had the courage to go through with leaving my nice, secure job if I didn’t have a virtual army of friends and family in my corner. These are the people I know I can cry to, brag to, and lay out all of my rampant insecurities and they’ll be there, picking me up, cheering for me, and celebrating along with me.
This is just as important as having your finances in order.
Short and long term goals
I couldn’t start this new part of my life without any goals. I didn’t want to spend the next few years floundering about, trying to figure out what to do next. Fortunately, I left my job with a purpose. And that purpose is to try to make a living as…a writer. It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do, and in order to make it happen, I had to set both short and long term goals. So I did that. I mapped out exactly what I want to see happen in the next month, six months, year, and three years. Not only that, but I have been conducting painstaking research on getting a book published (you know, since I’m writing a book), setting metrics goals for DMS, establishing a writing schedule, and pretty much organizing myself as much as possible so that I can begin working on my goals.
Goals are crucial to me. They give me a something to work towards and since I hate failing, they push me to work even harder. That is not to say my goals are set in stone. They evolve as I evolve and sometimes, I even change my mind. But I always have goals.
No regrets
In my 35 years, there are only a handful of choices that I regret. And while I try not to focus on that regret and instead try to focus on what I’ve gained by not making those choices, I can’t help but wonder what my life would be like if I had made those other choices (kind of like the whole Sliding Doors concept). I didn’t want a career as a writer to fall into the “what if” category. I need to know if I can do it. And if I can’t, and it needs to remain a hobby, at least I know. But at least I can say that I tried. And I’d rather have tried and failed than spend the rest of my life regretting that I never bothered to try.
What now?
I’m terrified of this next phase of my life. Like really, really terrified. I’m not good at self-promotion and I get writer’s block. I’m scared that we’re not going to be able to pay our bills. I’m petrified that I’ll never find a job or make a dime as a writer. I have insomnia from worrying that people hate my writing and will never want to read a word I write, which really makes this whole venture pretty futile. But I know that my fears are normal (well, most of them). I know, and hope, that they’re temporary. It’s never easy doing what you feel called to do and trying to live the life you believe you’re meant to instead of the life you’re told is the right one.
But I’ve never been good at being normal. Why start now?
Kris @ BalancingMoneyandLife says
Way to go!! This is a tough decision, but you obviously thought it through completely. I sympathize – my current job has gone from fabulous to horrid in 12 months, and we are not consumer debt free, so for now, I’m either stuck or must find alternate employment before I leave.
Good luck with writing, I love DMS, so I have confidence you will do well. 🙂
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Jeff says
you are far more braver than I. Good luck.
Daisy @ Add Vodka says
Congrats! If it’s best for you, I’m sure you know. Good luck on your writing career. I’m sure seeing a lot of people quit their jobs in the blogosphere to pursue some sort of freelance goal – but writing a book? That’s pretty cool!
Daisy @ Add Vodka recently posted…5 Things That Can Be Outsourced On Your Blog
Mackenzie says
Jana, I am sooooo proud of you! You are persuing your dream and that is amazing 🙂 You are on your way and we are all here to cheer you on!!!
Mackenzie recently posted…Saving Where You Can
Money Beagle says
Best of luck. take some time to unwind and then start looking for something that will make you happy. It’s out there!
Money Beagle recently posted…Mid-Year Check On My 2012 Predictions
Kathleen @ Frugal Portland says
Congrats! Your first full paragraph is a little confusing — maybe you meant understatement instead of lie? Good luck on your next venture!
Kathleen @ Frugal Portland recently posted…Don’t pay annual fees!
bogofdebt says
Way to go–happyness and mental health really do need to go before money. (As you said, as long as basic needs are met of course). I love DMS and feel that you are going to do great!
bogofdebt recently posted…Spending Recap 7/2-7/8
The Girl Next Door says
Good for you! Best of luck with your new ventures!
Budget & the Beach says
Sounds like you gave this a lot of thought and consideration. And you’re right, if your job was killing you slowly, then it’s worth it to come up with a new plan. Good luck with the writing and all your new goals!
Budget & the Beach recently posted…Week in Review-7/8/12
Nivene@Cashnet says
Good for you!! I know this was hard, but if it was best for you then you did the right thing! Good luck with everything!
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Travis @debtchronicles says
Do what’s best for you and your family and don’t look back, friend. Keep rockin’ the Daily Money Shot. 🙂
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Mo' Money Mo' Houses says
That sounds like a difficult decision but a good one. If you aren’t happy at your job it can really take it’s toll on your life outside of work. I’m sure lots of great things are in store for your future!
shanendoah@the dog ate my wallet says
We are so celebrating this (and you in general) at FinCon.
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Niki says
Wow! That is a big step. Wishing you the best of luck and I know you will do well. Congrats!
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Lance @ Money Life and More says
I’m sure you’ll do great. Just remember you have a ton to offer and need to broadcast that message! Good luck!
Lance @ Money Life and More recently posted…My First Job: Crazy Stories
Blair says
Hi Jana, I am a fairly new reader of your blog. However, I would just like to say that I am in awe and inspired by your bravery. I only hope that my decisions in life will be filled with the same determination to follow my dreams. Good luck with whatever is ahead in your journey!
Andrea says
Hey I want to read what you write, and so do a whole bunch of us… so that counters one of your doubts. 🙂
Shovellicious says
Congrats on that! I can’t even imagine how difficult it was for you but you did what was best for you and that’s the most important thing! I’ll be waiting to read everything you’ll write! Good luck!
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AverageJoe says
Nice work! Your decision reminds me of my favorite Nike phrase: “Feel the fear and do it anyway!”
AverageJoe recently posted…Does “Earnings Season” Affect Me?
Jordann says
Wow the honestly in your writing is really moving. I think the way you’ve laid it out, it seems like you’ve really thought through all of the potential consequences and you’re well prepared for all of them. Don’t worry, you’re writing is great and I’m sure you’ll find success!
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Jill P. says
I am so happy for you! I look forward to reading whatever you write. You made the best decision for you. And with that, it will also be the best decision for your family.
Brent Pittman says
Welcome to freelance life! You’ll do awesome! I took the jump 7 months ago and no regrets, even though it is stressful at times to build your business(es). Here’s to your mental health and happiness!
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Marissa @ Thirtysixmonths says
Congrats, Jana!! Welcome to the world of self-employed. You’re going to love it hear!
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American Debt Project says
GO Jana!!! So much love for you. Leaving a job is tough, but just as you said, you now have options. And not to mention you need to be happy, and you need to take risks like you did to be happy. And I’ll read your writing any time. I have some short stories that can use some review, we can always do an exchange. I’m pumped for you, and jealous you don’t have anywhere to be at 8 am on Monday 🙂
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Kelly says
I know this has been a dream of yours for a long time – congrats on taking the leap!
And if you get stressed, find a funny movie to bring your spirits up. I recommend The Waterboy. Be sure to chant along with the line “YOU CAN DOOOO IT!”
Shannon-ReadyForZero says
Congratulations! I hope you can turn some of the natural fear you’re feeling now into excitement and really applaud yourself for following your heart. As someone who loves to write (I’m also working on a book of my own) I totally understand the need to just try it and never have to wonder “what if”. I have a feeling you’re going to do great and look forward to reading posts in the future saying how happy you are to have made this decision!
Shannon-ReadyForZero recently posted…10 Strategies For Saving Money While Paying Your Bills
caitlin says
Hi,
I’ve been following your blog for awhile and I have to say, CONGRATS on your huge decision. Your mental and physical health is the most important and I admire you for being able to make such a decision. It hit me hard because I have been realizing that I have been sick a lot more than I can remember at my current job, which is having me evaluate whether this is the right job for me.
In the end, I truly believe that everything will work out as long as we give it our best. Whether you decide to take a break from work for find a new position, it will all work out well. Good luck!
Financial Samurai says
Hi Jana,
I think you will do GREAT! Happiness is worth more than any amount of money one can earn.
Your husband’s ability to support both of you guys is good enough!
Let me know if I can help in any way.
thanks,
Sam
Financial Samurai recently posted…How To Engineer Your Layoff: Make A Small Fortune By Saying Goodbye
laura says
I quit my job back in December 2009 (after paying off my debts) – best decision I ever made. Good luck Jana, you’ll do great! 🙂
Sandy says
I’m quitting too! It must be a mid-life crisis since we’re the same age. People have no clue how important your mental health can be and how a bad job can really affect your entire life. Good luck to you and your hubby!