- I confess that people with bad grammar send me in to a blind rage. Seriously, it’s “our” not “are” and it’s “a lot” not “alot” and yes, the thing with the line and the dot is an exclamation point. It makes me sad that you don’t know that, it makes me sad that you choose to share your sheer ignorance and stupidity on Facebook, and I can’t help it that I see red every time you show up in my newsfeed which is perhaps why I no longer see what you have to say. G-d bless the “hide from timeline” feature. Am I ignoring you? Yes. Yes, I am. Because it’s better for humanity if I do that.
- I confess that I become irrationally angry when someone says to me “I have something to tell you but you can’t tell anyone”. A) thanks for the trust and B) who am I going to tell? Do you really think I’m that gossipy? Also, I’ve probably forgotten what you’ve said 10 minutes after you told me. I’m getting old and my memory’s not that good and my brain is full of other information like “remember to pay the mortgage” and “feed the child today”. And just so we’re clear, if I do remember, I will tell my husband. Particularly if it’s something really, really good.
- I confess that it makes me want to spit fire when someone who has never had kids dispenses parenting advice. Guess what? Babysitting is not the same as being a parent. Owning a dog is not the same as being a parent. Having a younger sibling is not the same as being a parent. You know how I know that? Because I’ve babysat, owned a dog, and have a sibling substantially younger than me. Absolutely none of that prepared me for being a mother. So unless you’ve been a parent, shut the fuck up and keep your advice to yourself. Or you will get face full of my fist. Metaphorically, of course. I’m not going to jail because you can’t shut your mouth.
- While we’re talking about parenting, let’s address helicopter parents for a moment. I confess that want to body slam those assholes and while I have them pinned down, I want to shout loudly that hovering is not the same as advocating and you are doing absolutely nothing to help your child by smothering them, doing everything for them, and kissing ass with teachers and coaches to get your kids special favors. It’s one thing to be your kid’s champion and fight for them when they need it it. It’s another thing to swirl around every moment of their lives and never letting them do anything for themselves. They will not fall apart if they lose or get a bad grade on a test. I promise. Let them live and fail and win and make decisions and choices on their own.
- I confess that sometimes I hate people so much that being a hermit sounds like a wonderful, viable option. Being a hermit means I don’t have to deal with entitled assholes on the road, in parking lots, in stores, at restaurants, or any other place where people might be. I can no longer hide my contempt for how rude and disgusting society has become. Manners are almost nonexistent, and forget about someone even extending common courtesy like saying “bless you” when you sneeze. It’s horrid and if the fact that I’m raising my child to be polite and have manners means I’m strict, then so be it. I can live with it. I’m not adding to the asshole parade if I can help it.
- I confess that every time someone says “I forgot to eat today”, I want to take a sandwich and stuff it down their lying, underfed throat. You forget keys. You forget a birthday. You forget to call your grandmother. You do not forget to eat. And if you do, you’re fucking stupid. I am almost 37 years old. I have never once forgotten to eat. In fact, some days, I start thinking about lunch while I’m eating breakfast. Food is a basic necessity of life. You don’t “forget” it, asshole. We know you’re lying so just stop it. If you don’t want to eat, don’t. But don’t pretend like you forgot.
- This is the last one and it’s a big one so I hope you’re sitting down and not too tired. I confess that the overuse of the word “Nazi” makes me spit nails, steam shoots out of my ears, and I go to red faster than Spaceball One goes to plaid. Let’s be clear–the Nazis were an army of murderous soldiers assembled by a psychopathic, homicidal dictator who committed genocide. When people flippantly attach the word “Nazi” to the end of something as trivial as “grammar” or “cleaning” or “homework” simply because a person happens to be a stickler about those things, it cheapens and demeans what happened to the Jews, Catholics, gays, and everyone else Hitler decided he didn’t like. Wanting a clean house or for people to use proper grammar does not make one a Nazi. Killing people for how they were born or what religion they practice does. It’s an extremely powerful and emotional word, and it should be because as long as that word stays in our lexicon, people will be forced to acknowledge that the Nazis did (and still do) exist. By using it in a cavalier manner, it strips away its power. And I don’t think we’re ready for that yet. Or maybe ever.
So there you have it. Just a few things that make me angry. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest (and I have a pretty big chest which explains why this was so much). Next time, we’ll talk about what makes me irrationally happy. Because it’s all about balance.
What about you? What makes you so angry you want to punch a baby dolphin?
Linking up with Kathy from Vodka and Soda
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Haha I laughed at these. I hate when people say ‘dont tell anyone’ as well. Mostly Im thinking who do you tell my shit too?!
humpday confessions rant style are my favorite so thanks for this!
helicopter parents drive me up the wall. why? why let your child grow up being one of those dillholes who has no idea how to navigate through life or do simple things like chores and laundry or know how to do any decision-making without mommy? don’t they know that those kids grow up to be insecure because they are always needing an opinion from other people instead of doing things on their own? i knew a few kids in college who were like that – had no freaking clue how to operate a washing machine and constantly called me asking for my advice. here’s some advice: GROW A PAIR AND MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS.
sheesh!
thanks for linking up!
-kathy
Vodka and Soda
kathy@vodkandsoda recently posted…humpday confessions – BBM2014!!
haha – i hate when people say that about telling me something. and the same people get mad when i dont tell them something, and im like you’ve proven yourself fairly gossipy and untrustworthy! i am not a parent, and i judge silently. would never actually give advice, cause i don’t know shit, except some people shouldn’t have kids.
Kristen recently posted…Humpday Confessions #5
OMG I want to be a hermit too, if I never saw another living annoying soul in my life I would be just fine with that! Working from home I spend a LOT of time in my little bubble world and sometimes when I have to leave it makes me irrationally angry because I know someone out there is going to piss me off.
I have yet to run into any helicopter parents but I can only imagine how annoying they must be. I’m sure once Little K is school age and we start having more school related activities I’ll run into a few.
Kelli recently posted…On Hump Days We Confess
Helicopter parents are raising a generation of assholes who will one day be in charge of running the world. Shit will be really bad then.
I hate when people who suck at grammar are good friends because even though I try to hold myself back, I correct them at some point. I just can’t take it anymore. hahaha
I never thought about the use of the word Nazi like that. You’re right. And it’s not ever time to strip it of its power, because it’s happening again as we speak in parts of Russia.
SMD @ Life According to Steph recently posted…Shit that annoys me volume 398
I love rant confessions, they make me happy that I’m not the only one that gets rage-y over things! Bad grammar drives me nuts, I’ll never understand why it is so hard to know the difference between there, their, and they’re, etc. I’m not a helicopter parent, but I will diligently stand watch while my son is at the park (only because it freaks me out about how my children go missing). I let him play by himself and with his friends, I just like knowing where he is at. I’ve never forgotten to eat, but I’ve been to busy on occasion. I make up for the by eating twice as much as I should later ha ha.
Kenzie recently posted…humpday confessions
Haha yes to all of the above! I love those comma posts.
Bri @ My Life As recently posted…This I Must Confess
The helicopter parents bug me and the everybody gets a trophy! It is making kids soft! I could totally be a hermit, out in the woods with a bunch of pets. Sorry, not sorry!
Kerry recently posted…Spending Freeze Results
Yes!!! Grammar is so important. I mean, I am not saying that I am perfect by any means. However, that commas thing is perfect!
Helicopter parents are one of the many reasons why my husband and I will probably never have kids. Mainly because I can’t fully isolate myself (and my family) from the world of stupidity. I don’t go trying to give advice to parents, unless I heard my friends talking about something that really worked for them. I might say oh “so and so” did this one time and it really seemed to work for them, have you tried that yet? Oh you have? Doesn’t work? Just tell me to shut up. It is becoming a sad, sad world. I weep for the future generations.
Nadine recently posted…Confess-sesh
The fact that you still keep me around when my grammar is horrendous is how I know you are a true friend 😉
and AMEN to the rest!
I’m so over raising a generation of entitled children. If parenting our children in a way that will make them compassionate, self-less, hard-working, problem solving, productive citizens is considered strict than so be it. It’s vital for our children’s development to experience disappointment and loss. It gives us (the parents) an opportunity to teach them how not only to deal with it in a healthy way but encourage them to get back up and keep on moving forward… You know I could write a whole book on this subject but I’ll stop there.
Jenniemarie @ Another Housewife recently posted…When guilt halts our prayers
Argh, the parenting geniuses who have never had kids make me crazy, too! And helicopter parents… did you see that article about employers who are calling their employees parents to tell them how great they are? GAG ME.
Sarah @ Beauty School Dropout recently posted…Nightswimming in whiskey and stolen chocolate #askawayfriday
I gotta admit I laughed out loud at this even tho a couple of things hit home. 🙂
I’m one of those people who “forgets to eat”. I know .. I know. Trust me, it doesn’t help my (too heavy) weight. It just means when I do come up for air I’m starving and I eat everything in sight, whether it’s good for me or not. I just tend to let myself get immersed in things to the exclusion of all else and before I know it, it’s 4 in the afternoon, I’ve missed lunch, and I’m fucking starving!! It’s not a healthy way to be and I’m really trying to get back to my happy weight by forcing myself to get off my butt and come up for air periodically … both to move and to eat.
And I know that I don’t have kids, but I do think that there are some things that non-parents are allowed to have opinions on – especially as relates to helicopter parents. Would I give advice to a parent? Most likely no, but if you’re a parent who sends your kid to school every day with a lunch packed with processed food, candy, sweets, and a can of soda and then complain to me that your 11 yr old kid is having problems in school and you don’t know what to do (true story – this is a friend of mine from a couple of years ago), I’m gonna judge. And I might even say something. Hate me if you will for it. 😉
Kara recently posted…Things 2014 – for many missed weeks