Sing it, Piggy and Amy!
As I get older, and as I get crankier and possibly more introverted, I’ve become a lot less tolerant of other people. I find it frustrating to make plans only to have them canceled last minute or worse, stood up, and it’s gotten quite annoying to sit in my house more than I care to because people are assholes. So I’ve been practicing doing things by myself and you know what?
I LIKE IT.
It’s nice to just pick up and go and do what I want and not give a shit about other people’s feelings or agendas or even have to listen to their petty problems or complaints. Don’t get me wrong. I still enjoy socializing with friends and going on dates with my husband and planning family activities but sometimes, when I want to do stuff, I’m okay going at it alone.
There are still some things, like going to bars or walking on a dark, empty city street or meet anyone from Craigslist to buy anything, that I will not do alone mostly because I am paranoid and fear that I’ll, you know, be murdered, but the more I force myself to do it, the more I’m learning to do certain activities alone. Activities like:
- Shopping. Sure, I like to bring a fashion conscious friend along when I do some actual shopping, mainly for necessity, but for regular things like books or yoga pants or shoes, it’s easier to go alone. I get to take my sweet time, look at everything and anything I want, without worrying if I’m boring my companion.
- Manicures and pedicures. On the rare occasions I treat myself to one or both of these, I find it much more relaxing to do it by myself. No small talk, just pampering and eavesdropping on the other customers who have not been so smart as to go solo. Or those who have and talk loudly on their cell phones. They’re asking for it. #sorrynotsorry
- Traveling. Specifically, long car rides. I do some of my best thinking when I’m driving (and by “thinking” I really mean “sing like a rock star very loudly and off-key”) and having others in the car really impedes my ability to do that.
- Attend conferences. My husband does not understand blogging and having him along at a blog conference would ruin my ability to enjoy myself and catch up with friends I only see once a year.
- Go to the movies. It is nice to go on movie dates with my husband. However, we have completely different tastes in movies and sometimes, I want to see something that he’d rather not. So I go alone. And it is glorious. Particularly in the middle of the day, during the week. I highly recommend it.
- Go to the bathroom. Remember when you had to bring a friend with you because that was perfect gossip time? Well, I suppose that still applies in some circumstances but after the last 8 years of peeing with an audience, I relish in the chance to do my business without an extra set of eyes.
- Eat in restaurants. This used to scare the shit out of me. Then I did it a couple of times and now, it’s totally fine. Especially when I bring a book. Because not only do I look completely unobtrusive, but the book scares of anyone who might talk to me and I can be nosy without looking like I’m being nosy. It’s basically a perfect situation.
- Exercise. When I was in my Zumba obsessed phase, I learned to go to classes by myself because a) I didn’t know anyone at the gym and b) the people I did know outside of the gym wouldn’t go to the classes with me. But I wanted to go so I went anyway. And I survived and now, I actually enjoy working out by myself. Like driving alone, it gives me a chance to clear my head.
Having some alone time is great. It not only clears your head but it makes you appreciate the time you spend with others that much more because, now that you know you can be by yourself, it’s a choice to give that time to your family and friends.
It took me a long time to be okay with doing this stuff. Mainly because I suffer from low self-esteem and feared people would judge me or look at me funny but you know what I learned? No one actually gives a shit. No one is looking at me. No one is judging me. They’re there, wherever it is, for themselves. They’re not worried about me. And if you’re like I used to be, afraid to do things alone, don’t be. Just try it once. Start small and work your way up.
Trust me. You’ll learn to love it.
Especially if you have kids.
Then it’s like a vacation.
And it’s better than hiding in the bathroom faking a bout of diarrhea.
Not that I’ve ever done that.
How about you guys? Are there any activities you prefer to do alone or you’ve learned to enjoy doing alone?
I love shopping by myself. I feel like I am holding people up while I look and I really am happy with my own opinions on purchases.
I never really feel alone because of my furry kids and angels, loved ones on the other side, etc.
Going to an exercise class makes me do it, but I have all I need here and don’t want to pay for it. I just need a fire cracker up my butt. Lol!
Enjoyable read!! Have a happy week.
Love, SMD’s Momma
i love doing all the things alone 🙂 esp working out when i lift weights.
kathy@ realtalk recently posted…friday favorites [1-16]
I don’t lift weights because I don’t like to but when I did and I belonged to a gym, it was always better alone. I always hated having to reset everything for someone else so we could take turns.
I love shopping alone! It’s totally blissful. I also prefer getting a pedicure by myself than with my girlfriends. Honestly, I wish I had more time to things on my own but right now my 3 year old is pretty much everywhere I am! Ugh, I can’t wait till I can close the door and go to the bathroom in complete privacy again!!
Karen recently posted…5 Tips For Moving On (Don’t Stumble)
My daughter is 8 and now I can use the bathroom in semi-privacy, if I time it for when she’s otherwise occupied. But then there’s the nosy dogs to contend with so really, I’m never truly alone.
I go back and forth with shopping. My mom is my favorite person to shop with and I am always down for a day out with her…but I also dont mind shopping by myself and taking my time on the things I really want to look at or be indecisive about. And I like to work out alone as well. That is my me time. I focus on things that I am mad or upset about and work them out, or I brainstorm what I am going to blog about, what I am going to do with a space in my house….or just jam out to music.
Nadine recently posted…Weekend Shenanigans
I get that way too when I work out. I want to focus on what I want to focus on, whether it’s a chapter in the book or a blog post or my anger or the music, not the person I’m with. I can’t shop with my mom. I love her but her shopping style is not for me.
I love doing almost everything alone! I like my own company haha and if I do something like mani/pedi or restaurants I bring my book. Usually I like those characters better than people;)
Analisa recently posted…New Year’s Resolutions
I totally agree with that! Books are almost always more interesting than people.
I love shopping by myself but the opposite, I hate to browse. I am a get in get out kinda gal. I like to workout alone too, people who chatter when I am there to workout, annoy me. I am not yet comfortable eating at a restaurant alone.
Kerry recently posted…Rainy Day Weekend
I’ve never eaten at a “real” restaurant alone but I’m fine at a Panera-type place. Working out alone > working out with a friend. Mostly because some people don’t know how not to talk.
Yes to all of those things – except conferences. I’m not big on conferences in general. I could go solo or with someone.
There are only two people I enjoy shopping with because we shop at the same pace and don’t need to be glued to each other’s asses.
I can go out to eat, go to a movie, get a pedicure with friends, but I love to do those things alone too. I prefer movies and pedicures alone.
I work out a lot in my head on long car rides. And perform a lot of awesome concerts too.
SMD @ Life According to Steph recently posted…TWTW
Finding someone who matches your pace is gold. That’s a hard thing to come by.
I agree 100% about enjoying doing things alone when you get older. I also agree with a lot of people being assholes lol.
HAHAHA!!! People being assholes is precisely why I’m happier doing things by myself!
I am a huge introvert and don’t mind being alone either. I’ve gone to the movies on my own. I prefer to shop on my own. And I’ve eaten at restaurants alone. I just bring a book 😉
Amber recently posted…Is Bloody Mary Real?
I’ve decided I’m never alone when I have a book!
i love all of these. when i was younger (18-23) i went to the movies on my own all the time. i loved it. people thought i was nuts because it was a ‘social’ thing but it’s really not. i still enjoy doing all of those things alone as well, but i rarely go to the movies anymore as it is. and shopping by myself is definitely the best. KC is the worst – he drags down any fun shopping experience lol
kristen recently posted…How to (over) pack for a few days in NYC.. using only a carry on!
I don’t think going to the movies should be social. Because you can’t talk without making everyone around you hate you and the few minutes before you get there is crammed with before-movie bathroom break and finding seats together which is always a pain. Much better to go alone!
This is SO true! I am definitely an introvert, so I’m sure that’s partly why I enjoy alone time so much, but alone time is SO needed! I love being with my husband and friends too, but if I don’t get alone time it’s not good. And YES, I LOVE shopping alone! It’s so relaxing to me, it’s like therapy! Of course it would be better if I found something to do as therapy that didn’t tempt me to spend money I shouldn’t… 😉
Julia recently posted…My Favorite Custom Cakes
I find shopping alone relaxing, too. No stress, no pressure, and all the pretty things!
I do all these things alone too. In fact, last weekend I went to a movie then had dinner at a restaurant all by myself. Who needs company?!
Kate recently posted…I have decided to stick with love.
Truth! I am my own best company!
I love being alone! (Not all the time, though.) I usually hate shopping with other people, but I don’t know if I could go to a movie alone or eat at a non-fast food place.
Amanda @ My Life, I Guess recently posted…The New Job Honeymoon Phase is Over
The first time I went to a movie alone, I was nervous. Then I realized it’s not so bad and I actually kind of prefer it.
As much as I love traveling with buddies, solo trips are awesome. When I want to be alone, I step out. When I want to be with friends I just hit the lobby and begin gallivanting.
Martin recently posted…How You Can Avoid Becoming Another Statistic With a Heartbreaking Story
I’ve never traveled alone like you have, but that’s part of why I love FinCon so much. It’s my once a year solo trip.
YES to all of these because really, after having kids, doing anything alone is a treat, even grocery shoppping. Though I feel bad leaving the kids with the husband when I travel for work, I like it because it’s a few days to walk around a different city and eat at whatever restaurant I want!
lisacng @ expandng.com recently posted…My 5 All-Time Favorite Books on Book Delight
Exactly! Sometimes I treat grocery shopping like a vacation because I am ALONE!!! My once a year trip is some of my favorite days of the year and I feel no guilt leaving the child with the husband.
There’s something pretty amazing about going to the movies on your own. The funny thing is, it’s kind of a solitary thing anyway – sitting in the dark, watching something, not talking! Used to go to the movies A LOT back in England, when I worked 30 seconds from a cinema. My go-to destress after work.
You definitely have to be okay being on your own. Not everyone is, but you can definitely get there.
Jaina recently posted…Out in Bahrain: Budaiya Farmers’ Market
I actually love travelling alone sometimes. Its peaceful! I have never gone to the movies or to a restaurant alone. I have to try those though but I just have always felt awks about that haha
Kay R. recently posted…Confessing things.
Yes! We already discussed going to the movies alone and I love it! I also always shop alone and get mani/pedis. I’m always craving quiet moments. Julep is great because they play romantic comedies all day long in their parlors so I get to check out and watch a cheesy movie while getting my nails done. Traveling is always something I’ve wanted to do alone too. I also love to drive by myself! I get to listen to my music and there’s no chatter from the backseat. Haha!
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