Friday Five: I’m glad they’re gone

Earlier this week, I chaperoned my daughter’s first grade class trip to a gunpowder factory turned pioneer times museum (serious question– what do you call the people who lived on the East Coast during Westward Expansion? You know, those who stayed and worked at a DuPont gunpowder factory instead of exploring the frontier?). Unlike most elementary school field trips, this one was actually interesting. Particularly due to the fact that a) I heart American history and b) this project.

The timing could not have been any better. And maybe I geeked out a little bit. And maybe I was sad that my phone died and I couldn’t take a ton of pictures to share with you guys. But what I can share with you are 5 things I am so glad we no longer have to use:

1. Quill pens. Of course writing with a feather dipped in ink sounds like a good time but in reality, it’s a messy pain in the ass. You need to dip the feather about 76 times to get enough ink and then it drips everywhere instead so you have to blot it but then there’s almost no ink left. Also, if you don’t hold the quill properly, you can’t write shit. So, to quill pens I say good riddance and bring me a gel ink pen!

   

2. Chamber pots. How do I even begin to describe the ways I’m glad that these horrible pee pots have gone away? Just seeing the thing made me cringe and say a little prayer of thanks for indoor plumbing. Chamber pots are probably the only thing I find worse than an outhouse and should I ever decide to live like an actual pioneer, I will probably hold it in the entire time. And back then, it was the kids’ job to empty them and honestly, I just can’t do that to my daughter. Or anyone really. Just say no to chamber pots.
3. Tight, narrow, spiral stairs of death. I’m not sure that the house we were in is entirely reflective of all East Coast homes of that time, but if they were, holy shit did those people have some coordination. This was the narrowest, steepest staircase I have ever climbed. Ever. As I walked up the stairs from the kitchen to the attic, two thoughts crossed my mind: One, how did these people navigate these stairs in the dark and/or drunk; and two, man, they must have been skinny. Nothing like a tightly wound staircase to keep your figure trim.
4. A washtub and wringer. Let me clear– I loathe laundry. It is my nemesis of household chores and if I had all the money in the world and wasn’t so damn picky, this is the first thing I would outsource. But when I looked at the washtub, cheese grater looking scrubber, and medieval torture device looking wringer, not to mention the all purpose soap, I wanted to go home and hug my washer and dryer. I could not imagine doing laundry for my family of 3 on that, let alone a larger family. What a huge, time consuming pain in the ass. The smell of fresh air dried laundry might be delightful but the cumbersome, pioneer process to get it? Not so much.

   

5. A water pump. Not only did it bring us the ability to pee indoors but indoor plumbing made the water pump obsolete. Thankfully. I could not imagine having to haul my ass outdoors, several times a day, just to get a bucket of water. Sure, I’d probably have an army of kids to help lessen that chore but I can only imagine how much longer it made the laundry process. And cooking. And washing. I sort of understand now why they only bathed once a week. I would, too, if that’s how I had to get my water.

   

While there are many, many principles and items I’d keep from the mid to late1800s, these are not on that list. Modern conveniences FTW!

What would you get rid of?

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