I’m still in recovery/catch up mode from New Orleans, which is making this week ridiculously hard. It doesn’t help that I’ve had unplanned doctor’s appointments 3 times since I’ve been home (long story, and one that I’d rather not get into because it kind of sucks why I have to go. Nothing too serious but it’s still crappy. Sorry I’m being cryptic. I’ll talk about it when I have my test results. Promise). At least I’ve unpacked and done laundry, plus a few blog/mentoring related things so I’m only about 3 days behind instead of 5. Which is nice.
Before we move on to my weekly favorites, I promised Steph that I’d divulge the secret steps to killing a vampire. Here goes:
- Identify said vampire. You can do this if a cat jumps over the coffin 3 times or if a stray dog shows up at the front door. (Clearly this is based in science and practicality and not anything weird).
- Drive a stake through “dead” person’s heart.
- Cut his head off just in case a pointy object through his heart doesn’t make him sufficiently dead.
- Place the head at his feet.
- Turn coffin upside down.
- Bury it.
I know this seems like a ton of thorough, violent, and unnecessary work but Frank the tour guide swears this is the only way to make sure a vampire is dead and he’s totally trustworthy so I think we should follow his directions.
Now that you’re all in the know, we’re all safe, especially since we probably need to have vampire slaying field officers all over the country in the event of a vampire crisis.
I don’t know about you guys, but I’m relieved that we have this shit under control now.
Favorite songs
This week, I’ve had two songs stuck in my head: “This Is Gonna Hurt” by Sixx AM (Nikki Sixx’s band, and, if you’re in the market for a memoir, read his book The Heroin Diaries. AMAZING) and “So What’cha Want” by The Beastie Boys. And now you can have them stuck in your head. Side note: the terrible grammar in both song titles makes me twitchy and it pained me to not write the words properly.
Favorite frugal find
I guess you can combine this with book thing because I’ve been wanting to read Greil Marcus’s The History of Rock ‘n Roll in Ten Songs and it’s on sale on Amazon for less than $10. My library doesn’t have it in the catalog so I’ll be buying it this weekend. Way better than paying $28.
Favorite TV thing
Chris Pratt is hosting SNL this weekend. That is all.
Favorite internet reads
I haven’t spent too much time reading the internet this week but I did see that the guy who wrote Go the Fuck to Sleep has another book coming out, You Have to Fucking Eat. I just hope Samuel L. Jackson narrates this one, too. There was also a pretty interesting post on Mental Floss, Famous Novelists on Symbolism in Their Work and Whether It Was Intentional. And although LOST basically ruined TV for me, my longtime favorite magazine, Rolling Stone, published a great article discussing the impact of the show on the 10th anniversary of its premiere. If you were psychotically obsessed with the show like I was, it’s definitely worth the read.
Favorite quote
Favorite funnies
This isn’t so much funny as it is true. If you can’t make me laugh, we don’t need to be friends.
I wish I had thought of this.
Lobster mafia. It’s real.
Seven has a point.
Enjoy your weekend! Hopefully you’ll be able to do something fun or productive or just binge watch some great TV. If you follow football, I hope your team wins, especially if they’re playing the Eagles. As for me, I’m just biding my time until baseball postseason.
Linking up with Amanda
Healing lights to you. Reprogram your cells to perfection. It’s free. Being away is a drain even if it’s for something good and you are trained in vampire slaying as a bonus.
I loved Lost! I now love The Blacklist. Not big on any other shows. I do love SNL and was lucky enough to see it from the onset.
Their political parodies (?) are great but my favorite skits are the Jeopardy skits!
Very enjoyable read as I wait to get my sweet little jetta turbo diesel sportwagen inspected ! Happy weekend to you!
Love, SMD’s momma
The Jeopardy skits are legendary! A favorite in my house!
LOLOLOL @ 7’s note to 6.
I am filing these vampire things away for the day the vampire apocalypse is upon us.
Thanks for the heads up on Chris Pratt, I will record it.
I hope everything is okay!
SMD @ Life According to Steph recently posted…Friday Five: Roles I Play in my Relationship
You’re welcome. Happy to share the Chris Pratt sightings!
You can never have too much prepared in the event of a vampire apocalypse.
Okay after Zombieland and this post I can survive a zombie or vampire apocalypse! I like to be prepared for anything.
There have been so many times I’ve wanted to read Little K Go the Fuck to Sleep, it’s such a great book! Hahaha.
Kelli recently posted…Seashell Chronicles 9/22
It’s good to be prepared!
I probably would read this one to Erica with some creative editing. Mealtimes make me want to drink heavily.
Chris Pratt is awesome!
~Ashley @ A Cute Angle
Ashley recently posted…I Heart Fridays
Chris Pratt is the best and I have a major crush on him.
I hope you are ok! I always seem to get sick after traveling — bad combo of not enough sleep, eating too much restaurant food, and germy airplanes/airports.
Sarah @ Beauty School Dropout recently posted…Creating a Capsule Wardrobe with Polyvore
I wish that’s what it was :/ It’s all kinds of lady problems, unfortunately.
I feel much better knowing we have a plan for vampire slaying.
OMG, I LOVE LOST. Ok, sorry, got excited there. I was totally obsessed too, still kind of am. Anytime I talk to someone who didn’t watch it I get really sad for them and kind of annoyed too, because how can you not have seen that show???
Julia recently posted…Gotta get down on Friday…
I get mad because how you could you not have watched it?! I want to watch it again on Netflix now that I know things so I can pick up on clues.
Oh yes, you definitely should! We have watched it all the way through on the DVD’s a couple of times, and you definitely pick up on more!
You know, I have been wondering the proper way to get rid of a vampire. And this way sounds totally legit. You learn something new every day!
LOL @ the cat in the litter box!!! Also, yes, humor and sarcasm are forever!
I had been wondering the same thing and I am glad I know and can share. We’re all safe now.
Sarcasm forever!!
i read Heroin Diaries years ago and OMFG he was all kinds of fucked up. what surprised me the most was the he was freebasing shit with that appalonia chick! no wonder she dropped off the planet. some people just can’t handle fame #lamebitches.
kathy @ vodka and soda recently posted…friday favorites [9-26]
It just amazes me that he saved all of those notes.
He was 98 kinds of fucked up. The stories of him stuck in his closet from paranoia are insane!
Cracking up at 7’s card to 6- where do people come up with these things and why didn’t I come up with it first?
I feel safer from vampires now. Thank you.
Kate recently posted…Kick off to Fall
The vampire thing, I mean… I don’t even know where to begin! 🙂 Very informative.
Never watched LOST. I refused to get sucked in and then when everyone was pissed off about how the show ended, a piece of me felt justified 😉
Have a great weekend Jana!
Mackenzie recently posted…Things I Don’t Miss About The 80’s
This comment makes me sad because LOST is so, so good. It’s basically ruined TV for me but it’s such a great show.
I’m pretty sure the vampire thing will come in handy one day.
Hope everything is okay with you. Chris Pratt, yum I’ll have to record it. Good to know on the vampire tips. The more You Know… do do do. Seven’s note to 6, hilarious! Dirty bird!
I love how honest the card is 🙂
Did you record it or watch it? SO funny!
Try thriftedbooks.com!! I bought 2 books from them for $6 bucks in total with FREE shipping! I hope everything is okay!
Natalie recently posted…I wear old lady jeans
I haven’t watched SNL in forever but I may have to reconsider with Chris Pratt hosting… LOVE him!!!!!!!
Amanda recently posted…Sh*t Amanda Says
I love him so much. When I’m watching a movie and I’m not expecting him to be in it AND THEN HE IS, I *might* act like a 9 year old girl at a One Direction concert.
Sorry I’m late with the comment. Hope things are ok, Dr appt wise.
Glad you had a blast in New Orleans. I would love to hear how the BHB sessions went!
I very much missed my Jana fix this October. Fingers crossed I can make it next year.
shanendoah recently posted…Spending Almost $10k in 6 weeks, while on the Dole
Hopefully you’ll get to go next year! I’m hoping it’s somewhere really, really good, too! I definitely missed you this year!