Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe (and other questions I’d like answered)

Last week, my friend Steph wrote a post wondering what happened to Baby and Johnny. Her questions about them got me wondering: what happened to The Breakfast Club after they left detention? Did John take Brian out to the parking lot to get high? Did he return the earring Claire gave him? Did Andrew win his wrestling match? Did Carl rat on Mr. Vernon for reading those basement files? Did Larry Lester’s buns ever heal? And where did they go once high school was over?

Burning questions, right?. And I need answers! So I made them up:

Claire Standish (“The Princess”)

Although Claire’s future seemed secure with an Ivy League acceptance and promise of an internship in France after she finished college, her obsession with John Bender has all but ruined her life. After that Saturday detention, she and John kept a clandestine relationship that lasted through their freshman year of college. When he broke up with her the summer after that year, she went crazy (like Amanda Bynes, Charlie Sheen level crazy), developing an obsession with John (leading to a restraining order) and a wicked shopping addiction that eventually landed her in rehab nine times over the last 20 years. Her final stint was 2 years ago and she has replaced her shopping addiction with tanning. She looks old and leathery but she no longer shops for comfort. And the fact that she looks old helped her meet her husband, a wealthy older man who paid off her debts and finances her tanning habit.

Unemployed, Claire currently spends her days Googling for information on John Bender and making her stepchildren hate her.

Andrew Clark (“The Jock”)

He did, in fact, win that last wrestling match.

Plagued with guilt over what he did to Larry Lester in the locker room, Andrew went to a mid-western college (on a wrestling scholarship, of course), studying psychology. He took a few years off to work as a professional wrestler, although he mainly performed on the state fair/high school gym/fire hall circuit. After breaking his nose for the 8^th time for very little pay, Andrew quit wrestling and went back to school. He graduated, obtained his PhD and now works as a therapist, specializing in traumatic childhood duct tape incidents. He volunteers for an anti-bullying organization and has recently taken up archery as a hobby.

Financially, Andrew isn’t wealthy but he’s finally paid off his student loans and is working his way through Dave Ramsey’s baby steps.

Allison Reynolds (“The Basket Case”)

As expected, Allison barely made it through high school. She moved to NYC shortly after graduation, working odd jobs, making just enough money to scrape by but never really needing or owning a whole lot, just what she could fit in her giant purse (which she still carries with her). In her mid-30s, she settled down in Brooklyn, where she owns an art gallery featuring art created by school children and lives in a small loft apartment with her lifemate, Stu (who makes a living dressing as Peter Pan for birthday parties), and their 6 cats, 4 dogs, and a rotating number of guinea pigs and rabbits.

Money isn’t a concern or a care for Allison. An active Freegan, she runs classes at her art gallery teaching others how to live on as little money as possible.

Brian Johnson (“The Brain”)

He did not get high with John. But he wanted to.

Brian, sadly, did not graduate as valedictorian (due to the tragic lamp incident) but he did graduate in the top 5 of his class. This perceived failure haunted him in the years following high school, even causing a small breakdown in his first year in graduate school. He dropped out, was ostracized by his entire family, and became a hermit until his 40^th birthday. A pioneer user of the internet due to his hermit existence, Brian honed skills he didn’t know he had is now a successful app developer. His most successful app, to date, is an app for kids called “Pull the Elephant’s Trunk”.

As a result of the apps, Brian is now incredibly wealthy and lives in a large, sprawling mansion in California. He’s still a bit of a hermit, but has been spotted at some of Hef’s parties.

John Bender (“The Criminal”)

He did return Claire’s earring when he broke up with her.

A career in criminal justice never seemed farfetched for John, although most would assume it would be behind bars rather than on the outside. After spending 11 months in jail for a bar fight with Mr. Vernon (John finally did take that swing at him), he regrouped, went to law school, and found his calling working for those who needed a good defense. He met his wife at a very high profile trial (he was the attorney, she was a spectator), leading to some speculation that John won the trial under shady circumstances. Like most things in his life, he rose above that, and, after the media caught wind of his childhood, jail time, and subsequent successful law career, his life was made into a Lifetime movie. With money earned from the movie coupled with his prolific law career, John retired from law to work on novels (a la his hero, John Grisham).

His restraining order against Claire remains active.