I originally posted this almost two years ago. But since I’m in San Diego this week, and many of you are new around these parts and might have missed it the first time around, I’m resharing. You can also read part 2 when you’re done!
One thing I’m more than happy to admit about myself is that I have many, many fears. Some of them are completely rational. Most of them are not. In fact, not only are they completely irrational but most of them are completely avoidable. Yet they continue to plague me, sometimes on a daily basis.
I couldn’t even tell you WHY I fear these things. My time would be better spent living in fear of things that are real, like the black widow spiders that live in my neighborhood. Or the threat of a gas build-up in my house because the knobs on the stove like to turn on ever so slightly on their own (you know, not enough to start the burner but just enough to let the gas seep out). Or my neighbors being involved in a drug related shooting because I’m 99% sure they’re running drugs out of their garage.
Nope. Instead, I find myself living in fear of:
- Horses. They’re gigantic and unpredictable and they pretend like they’re all sweet and awesome but really, I’m pretty sure they’re plotting against me and they’re secretly violent. When you’re that big and a fly can scare you, you need to stay the fuck away from me. Also, when I meet someone who also doesn’t like horses, we’re instantly BFFs. Because THEY GET IT.
- Setting my hair on fire. My favorite, and pretty much only, part of my appearance I like is my hair and I do almost nothing with fire. So of course I’m paranoid that I’m going to get involved in a Michael Jackson-like incident.
- Barbecues. Not the social events but rather the physical grill that you use to cook the food. I will not go near ours, not even to turn it on, because I fear singeing my eyebrows off and I won’t let my family use any of the ones in public areas because I’m convinced people pee on them. It’s useless to convince me otherwise.
- Drive by shootings. I live in the sticks, across the street from a farm, and my neighborhood sits on a golf course. In other words, prime locations for a drive by. See also: being abducted.
- My cat being eaten by a wild animal. This one is not completely ridiculous. I have an indoor/outdoor cat and living in the country means there are all kinds of animals living outside, too. But she sleeps inside almost every night and she’s crazy fast and agile and she didn’t die during the 2 weeks she was missing. But the fear is real.
- Losing my teeth. I do not come from a long line of people with good teeth so genetics are not on my side. Despite how meticulous and ridiculous I am about oral hygiene, I can’t help but think that one day, all my teeth will fall out.
- A car falling into my windshield. Specifically when I’m driving behind one of those trucks that hauls all kinds of different cars and all the cars look like they’re one bump away from coming loose. Can’t they secure them just a little bit better? Like with chains instead of tape?
My personal horror movie - Tunnels. If you ever want to see my knuckles turn stark white or see me stop breathing, drive through a tunnel with me. I have an immense fear of the walls caving in and/or getting stuck in one. True story: when I drove from college to Key West with some friends for spring break (remember this one, Steph?), I had to drive through the Fort McHenry Tunnel (outside Baltimore). I wouldn’t let anyone speak for the entire duration we were in the tunnel. It makes me that crazy.Instant fear. Just add traffic and high speeds.
- Birds. Also bats. Not only do I fear them nesting in my hair and shitting on me, I’m confident they carry all kinds of diseases and I want no part of that. Another true story: one summer, when I was a sleepaway camp counselor, a bat got into our cabin. I hid under my blanket and let my campers fend for themselves. Because fuck them and that bat.
This is actually my nightmare:
:
2016 update: The bathtub crashing through the floor and landing in the kitchen, mowing off my toes, falling into my washing machine (it’s a top loader, very deep, and I am short. This is a terrible equation), and every single unidentifiable bug or spider that leaves near my house.
Now that you all know how I’m sufficiently crazy, what irrational fears do you have?
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[…] last week how I made everyone feel better about themselves and also slightly less crazy when I shared some of the ridiculous things I’m afraid of? Well, friends, get ready because I’m about to do it […]
I’ve gone through the Fort McHenry Tunnel so many times growing up that it does not bother me but I know my mom would freak out when ever we had to go over the Bay Bridge.
Wow, it sound like you have an episode of Breaking Bad going in outside your window.
Dawn recently posted…Tomorrow Will Be A Better Day
It’s definitely interesting, especially late at night.
All tunnels bother me but I have no problem with bridges except I have to drive on the inside lanes because I have an irrational fear of driving over the side. I should have used that one, too.
Oh my God I’m terrified of cars coming through my windshield, or anything else that is poorly strapped to one of those trucks (wood, concrete pillars, chickens in cages, etc) on the highway!
xoxo,
Meghan
YES to all of that! I live in Delaware, where we have many chicken processing plants, and I cringe when I drive by a truck carrying them because I fear an impaled and unwelcome passenger on the hood of my car.
Oh Man I can’t even imagine that!! I’m also terrified of semis/big trucks. In scares that I’ll be beside one or trying to pass it and it won’t see me and will totally run me over/off the road. Needless to say I’m that girl that holds up traffic until the left lane is clear just past the truck so I can gun it past them!
xoxo,
Meghan
I HATE driving near trucks, especially behind them on roads with traffic lights. I’m afraid I’ll wind up running a red light and cause and/or get into a major accident.
Snakes or any snake-like things.
Blood test or IVs. Body fluids of any kind.
So there went a career in the healthcare industry! Those centipede things my mom called thousand-leggers.
Ew x 50 million gazillion !!
Love, SMD’s momma
Snakes are horrible. I hate them. Fortunately so does my cat so we don’t have many snakes around my house 🙂
Wow, I did not know that cats got rid of snakes.
Hopefully, your cat does not bring the deceased snakes to you.
I thought that cats only got rid of mice!!
Love, SMD’s momma
getting my blood drawn
going to the dentist
spiders!
thanks for linking up!
-kathy
Vodka and Soda
kathy@vodka and soda recently posted…humpday confessions [10-1]
Spiders are horrible!!!
I don’t mind getting blood drawn as long as I don’t look at it.
hahaha I cannot drive behind trucks carrying anything because of that. I am terrified of someone breaking into my house and leaving the door open and letting my cats out. I want to leave a note that says ‘take whatever you want, but please dont hurt or let my cats out!’
Kristen recently posted…September Budget
Those thoughts definitely go through my head, too! I have major paranoia about someone breaking into my house and hurting my dogs. It gives me legit anxiety attacks if I think about it too much. You should leave that note. If nothing but for your own peace of mind. Also, it’s awesome.
Number 2 and 3 – and they’re closely related. Also, I fear burning my eyebrows off with the grill.
The dentist, clowns, slugs, being kidnapped.
SMD @ Life According to Steph recently posted…Getting the Picture — Choosing a Good Digital Camera
OMG,Steph! On the kidnapping, I will extra light you and that’s why I do not want you to take that late train Saturday night. #dontgoanywherethatlatebyyourself #surroundyourselfwiththeangels
Clowns are the worst! I don’t understand them, either. Who purposefully does that? And why?
I fear I’ll lose my teeth, but because of a fall or a car accident. And bite my tongue and have a little bit fall out. I also fear I’ll kill my dog because I didn’t watch him too closely and he would drown or choke on a bone or something tragic while I am inside the house.
I fear the same if I have kids that they may die one day I don’t have my eyes on them.
Pauline recently posted…Going on holidays when you live on the beach
I have similar fears about my dogs. And I definitely fear falling and knocking out my teeth.
Tunnels really bother me, especially one’s that go under bodies of water.
Most of irrational fears relate to my child and I would never write them let alone voice them because I try really hard not to think about them. I feel like thinking about them to much would make me one of those overprotective annoying mom’s.
Kelli recently posted…Adventure Time
The fears I have related to my child I keep tucked away in my head. I don’t think it’ll make me too overprotective but it’ll make them more real if I write them down. So we just stick to this stuff instead 🙂
My best friend is terrified of birds! I’m irrationally afraid of earth worms, I think caterpillars are cute little things but worms just freak me out.
Donna recently posted…Confession Time
Worms are disgusting. My daughter will pick them up. I run away, screaming. Then she and my husband mock me. #noshame
The losing my teeth things is a fear of mine too. I never would have thought about peeing on a barbeque but now i will never be able to use a public one!!!
Kerry recently posted…Bedroom “Mini” Makeover | DIY Side Table
I think weird thoughts but really, it’s just about protecting my friends. Don’t use public grills! My PSA for the day.
Ahhhhhhh I hate birds!!! HATE THEM! They are disgusting nasty little creatures, just ew! And I also fear cars falling on mine from those trucks, and I hate all semi trucks in general because I have had too many close calls.
I am also afraid to grill! What is the deal? And I am afraid of drive by shootings, or the random people that are standing on the sides of roads in general. Like…stay away from my car. And I am afraid of something getting to my dogs when they are outside even though we have a fenced in yard and they arent out there often.
I am super scared to get on a plane. I am not a fan of public transportation in general for fear that something bad will happen. And I hate overpasses. I dont like be on them or being under them.
Nadine recently posted…Confessions
I have that exact same fear about my dogs. It’s why I also panic if they’re with me and I have to run into a store. I fear they’ll be stolen.
Planes and public transportation don’t bother me but I do fear being mugged.
I think I need to do a part 2 for this.
Rodents, losing my teeth, not being able to move. All also invade my dreams!
Kate recently posted…Do you believe in psychics?
Rodents are definitely on my list of things I don’t like. We had a mouse in our house last fall. I refused to go into the living room.
I hate birds, seriously. They are vile and they freak me out. I’m with you also on the horses; the last time I rode a horse was when I was 11 and the horse freaked out and took off…while I was still on it!!!! The whole experience scarred me for life and I won’t come within spitting distance of one.
Mackenzie recently posted…October Goals
THANK YOU for validating my fears. They’re real.
Birds are horrible, horrible creatures. I had some clients, when I was a PO, who had birds and they would have to cover them up when I came to their houses. I didn’t even care.
I understand.
Horses freak me out too. I don’t like riding them. My Mom LOVES horses. She couldn’t believe she could produce a kid who didn’t like them. However, Natalie loves them, so maybe it skipped a generation.
Amber recently posted…Hey, It’s Okay Tuesday!
I’m the only one in my family, except for my one sister, who hates them. Erica adores them so my husband has to take her to that stuff.
I’m weird about my teeth, too. I have frequent dreams of losing them where I wake up in a panic! hahahah
I’m afraid of butterflies and ladybugs… they gross me out BAD! Like, I have straight up CRIED because of them before, haha!
Amanda recently posted…Savin’ A Dolla Makes This Bitch Holla!
I’d panic, too! I’ve had dreams like that and I wake up and brush my teeth immediately. For comfort.
The ladybug and butterfly thing is definitely weird, though. Then again, my daughter is TERRIFIED of stink bugs. Like, break down, cry, and have a fit when she sees one.
I always find it interesting when people say they are scared of horses because I love them but I found the picture of me meeting my horse for the first time and I look so frightened but she actually has the best temprement ever <3
Nats ~ coraltintedperceptions recently posted…If I Won The Lottery I’d… {#Blogtober14}
They genuinely give me anxiety attacks. When I was in NOLA, I had to cross the street so I wasn’t around them. I appreciate their beauty and all but they’re terrifying.
Your car through the windshield fear is very similar to my fear of somehow being ejected from my car and being impaled on one of those spikes that you sometimes see on the pack of a pick-up for hauling a big bales of hay. Gah, how is it legal to drive around with that huge spike sticking out at another car???
Sarah @ Beauty School Dropout recently posted…October Goals, and September Goals in Review
YES! I’m terrified of drive by shootings, for no real reason at all. Hahah! And I also hate birds and other flying insects. Your car carrier fear is like my log truck one! This is an awesome post.
Christina recently posted…Ten Questions From Jana
The car falling off the car carrier!!!!
Snakes and worms. Don’t even like looking at
Pictures of them or anything similar !
I have quelled many of my fears by mantras like
All is well in my world !
Nice that you are in San Diego!
Love, Steph’s Momma
Large inanimate objects. Like, giant Christmas trees and those enormous wooden cut-out Santas. Instant fear. We saw the world’s largest Easter egg in Canada (you could see it from miles away) and I was displeased.
I don’t like horses or birds either.
I feel like I have a lot of rational irrational fears as well. I’m with you on #4, #7, and #9. (Though Omaha has had a lot of shootings in recent years, so #4 isn’t really that irrational for me, I guess.)
Others for me include:
– Bugs of any kind (Even pretty harmless bugs like gnats, ants, and flies!)
– Clowns
– The sound of chainsaws (Hilarious since the only time I’m actually ever around chainsaws is when I pay to go to a haunted event around Halloween. So basically I just do this to myself.)
– Being abducted (Though you mentioned that in #4 above as well. I’m pretty small and it wouldn’t be too difficult for someone to just pick me up and shove me in their car. This is why I refuse to take out the garbage if it’s dark outside.)
– Going deaf/blind
There are probably more, but those are the ones that immediately came to mind.
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