Jana Says

Living life from cover to cover

What’s up?

by Jana 19 Comments

It’s not just a bad 90s song.

The last few weeks have been ridiculously exhausting for me. It started with the whole depression thing rearing its ugly head. Then the dog got sick. And if you were on Twitter around 5:30PM my time (EST) on Saturday, you saw this:

 

That’s right. The family and I were in a car accident on Saturday while we were on our way to dinner. Fortunately no one is hurt and there is minimal damage to the car, but we have to buy a new car seat (for those of you who don’t know, if a car seat is in an accident, it is deemed “not safe” or something like that and it needs to be replaced. And car seats are not cheap) and my husband has to take a day off of work to get estimates. Good stuff.

There have been some other goings on as well. For starters, I’m taking a leave of absence from my job, beginning next week (I promise to talk about this soon). I cannot get better if I continue to work at my job right now (here’s a bit of an explanation as to why). Then there’s the fact that we’re moving. Well, planning on moving. Our house, which was supposed to go up for sale last month, is now slated to go on the market at the beginning of May. And last but not least, our finances have become a slight trainwreck lately. We’re not back in debt or anything but our budget and I have not been getting along.

So it’s time to reevaluate some things.

If I am going to get better, I need to make some changes. So that’s what I’m going to do. And I think these changes are going to help get me refocused, healthier, and hopefully eliminate some of the dark clouds that seem to be following me around lately.

  • As part of my therapy, I’m required to exercise and meditate regularly; since I have a membership at the local YMCA, it’s time to start using that. I’m thinking about adding a personal trainer once a week as well. But that’s a bit expensive and I can’t do that unless I…
  • …get my budget back on track. My husband and I are planning on having a budget meeting to discuss expenses, especially with the change in my pay over the next few months. It’s essential that are finances are as perfect as they can be or we could take a really awful financial turn.
  • The blog. Oh, the blog. Well, I should say blogs. The Jealousy Files is progressing nicely and I have big plans for that site. And I’m working on a top secret photo blog project that should launch in early May. But where does that leave Daily Money Shot? Well, there’s no way I’m forgetting about my firstborn. However, I’m going to have to reduce my posting schedule from 6 days per week to 5 (and, if I have to, I’ll go down to 4 by cutting out Money Tune Tuesday). I’m planning on going on a M, T, W, F, Sat schedule. I’m leaving Thursday open for any guest posts and Sundays are just a day off. I also have some special features planned, like wedding week.
  • The rest. I have always wanted to be a writer. Since 2nd grade, it’s the only job I’ve ever truly wanted to have. This is my opportunity to try to make that happen. I have significant doubts about my skills and creativity and ability to make a living as a writer but at least I can say I tried. Because I’m going to write a book. Maybe 2! I don’t want to give too many details but rest assured, when they’re done, I’ll let you know.

So that’s it. That’s what’s going on. I don’t know if I’ll be able to conquer this demon but if nothing else, I can make him shut the hell up. I’m hoping that the changes and plans I have in place will help that happen.

 

 

My financial horror

by Jana 22 Comments

In case you haven’t noticed, today is Friday the 13th. It’s not a day that bothers me because, some years, my daughter’s birthday will fall on Friday the 13th and I will never be afraid of celebrating the best day of my life. I think it’s weird that some people are afraid of the day yet others celebrate it with horror movies. Not me. I don’t watch horror movies. I’ve never seen any Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Saw or any other horror movies (well, I’ve seen whichever version of Halloween had LL Cool J. And the first Scream. And that’s it.) But that doesn’t stop me from imagining horror. A different kind of horror.

A financial horror.

I’ve been wracking my brain trying to think of the most horrible financial event that could occur in my life. One that would wreck me on every level. I want to say that there’s nothing so financially awful that I couldn’t recover from it but there is one thing. And it’s so awful it makes me shudder to think about it. What is it?

Moving back in with my parents.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my parents. I really do. But there is no possible way I could ever live with them ever again. We have completely different styles of…pretty much everything (which makes for some interesting family visits). Without going into too much detail (because I can’t. Long story as to why), let’s just say it would get really ugly really quickly. It would be living in my own horror movie that I could not escape from. Like The Shining mixed with Hostel mixed with Amityville Horror (you know, because it’s on Long Island and so are my parents). Except worse. And it wouldn’t be much better for them.

So there you have it. The one financial thing that would make me cower in a corner, praying for a safe room.

What’s your biggest financial horror?

 

7 other things every kid should experience. And these are almost free!

by Jana 14 Comments

There have been an abundance of “every kid should” posts floating around the blogosphere lately (specifically this one. Which is what completely set me off. It’s been that kind of week). While I get that the intent of the posts is to…well, I’m not sure what the intent of the posts are. I read them and I find myself saying “Hmm. Yes. OK. That’s an interesting idea. But what about parents who don’t (fill in the blank)?” I want to say to these authors “Hey, your middle class is showing” and I really want to know how they arrived at the decision of what “every kid should do” (of course, I don’t).

Basically, I’ve been getting irritated at these posts. Mainly because they’re nothing but nonsense designed to make parents feel terrible if they don’t do those arbitrarily picked activities (you know, because parents aren’t already made to feel guilty about enough things). So I figured I’d come up with my own list of 7 things every kid should experience. The activities are just as arbitrarily picked but I can assure you that they are a bit more attainable for all parents than snow or farm life:

  • Being read to. I don’t care if it’s at the library for storytime, from a teacher, at daycare or from his own parent. Every kid needs to be read to. There is something that happens in a kid’s mind when he’s listening to a story that is just amazing to watch. Not only that, a book can inspire quality conversations. 
  • Playing in a park. When most people envision a park, they envision sprawling field, replete with fancy equipment, picnic tables and children, laughing and screaming in their own natural habitat. But it doesn’t have to be that fancy. Some of my favorite park memories are at the park next to my grandparents’ apartment building in Queens. That park was concrete and had about 4 pieces of equipment (most of which were covered in graffiti). But it was my favorite.  
  • Having a birthday party. I believe that birthdays are incredibly special and deserve to be celebrated. What’s nice is that a birthday party doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. A few dollars on cake mix and icing, some handmade signs and decorations, and family and friends. Even something that small will make a kid feel special and honored that her birthday is recognized and cause for celebration. 
  • Getting in trouble. Kids need to push boundaries, test limits and all that jazz. But they also need to get in trouble when they are wrong. Coddling and ignoring their behavior and poor choices does no good. Every child needs to experience getting into trouble. And suffering the consequences. 
  • Coloring (or any arts and crafts). Put crayons in a kid’s hand and see what she creates. It’s almost magical. In fact, if a kid in your life starts coloring, join her. See what you create. And see how relaxed you are when you’re done. Almost as relaxing as a spa, and substantially cheaper, too. 
  • Music. There is a reason VH1 is (or was) trying to save the music. It’s that important. 
  • Having a pet. I concede that pets are a huge responsibility and parents usually wind up assuming the majority of their care. But I fully believe that kids should have a pet. If you don’t want your kid to have a pet of the 4 legged variety, get him a fish. Having a fish still teaches responsibility and all that good stuff. And there’s no mess to clean up. 
Parents, what would you add to that list? Are there any must-haves for your kids?

What I think when I look in your grocery cart

by Jana 14 Comments

I'm not the only one who does this. Look! She's even crazier than me!

Several months ago, I confessed that I look in other people’s shopping carts. It’s not something that I’m proud of; it’s just something that I do. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who does it and, if I am, well that’s okay, too. Grocery shopping is painfully boring (especially when I’m standing in line, waiting to pay and there are only 2 checkout lines open. Why do you do this to me, Safeway?) and looking at what you’re buying intrigues me.

It intrigues me because I also have a terrible habit of making up lives and stories for people I encounter. For instance, I will see someone walking really fast through the park and I will decide that he is moving so quickly not for  the exercise benefits but because he has to go to the bathroom really badly. When I see a van carrying 75 children and 2 adults, I think a) those poor adults and b) they must be a sports team with a really low budget. When I see a mother stuffing her kid’s face with animal crackers while walking around the supermarket, I assume the animal crackers are the glue keeping that mother’s sanity intact.  It goes on and on like that. They’re not my proudest moments but they keep me entertained.

I also do this at Target. Oh, Target opens up a whole new world of in my head false assumptions. Because of the vast array of items that can be purchased at Target (like the day I bought cat food, pillows, dish soap, t-shirts, a Barbie doll and hand lotion. I realize that this makes me look like I’ve made a one way turn to the seedy part of Crazytown), the stories I concoct are ones I probably should keep to myself.

But keeping things to myself is not exactly a strength of mine. So, for this holiday Friday (Happy Passover to my Jewish readers, Happy Good Friday to my Christian readers, and a Happy Friday to all), I’m going to share with you some assumptions I make while spying on your grocery store shopping cart. Feel free to judge me, too. I probably deserve it:

 

  • If you have 32 frozen dinners, cat food and toilet paper, I will decide that you are single, can’t cook and are a crazy cat person. This is not specified to either gender.
  • If you have 9 bottles of soda, 62 giant bags of chips, 4 bags of candy and one screaming toddler, I will decide that you are having a birthday party for your other child.
  • If you have nothing but flowers and a cupcake, I will decide that you are very, very sorry. And she is very, very angry.
  • If you have cleaned the shelves of hot dog and hamburger rolls, hot dogs, hamburgers, pickles, and beans, I will decide you are feeding everyone you have ever met at the same time OR you are sponsoring a competitive eating contest.
  • If you have a block of cheese, frozen wings and beer, I will decide you are in for a very fun night OR you are punishing your digestive system.
  • If you have all gourmet and organic items that are just enough for one meal, I will decide you are trying very hard to impress someone who probably doesn’t like you.
  • If you are shlepping 6 kids around the store with you and you look like you’d rather have your eyebrows plucked out one hair at a time by a blind person, I will decide that your husband (or wife) is an ass for making you go to the supermarket with 6 kids.

Those are just some of the assumptions I make about people when I’m staring at their shopping carts. I’m 98.7% sure they are entirely wrong but they amuse me. Which is the only part of grocery shopping that amuses me (the bill usually makes me cry and other shoppers make me angry). But that’s another story for another day…

For the record, if someone were to look at my shopping cart, they’d probably make some pretty weird assumptions. After all, it’s not every day you see a package of chicken breasts living happily among vegetarian fare like Boca burgers. I’d be puzzled, too.

 

Planning for the unexpected

by Jana 11 Comments

I am not a spontaneous person. I like schedules. I like plans. I need predictability because when you’re living with major depression and anxiety, having a routine helps keep certain things in check. Knowing that I’m doing this on Saturday or that I have a work meeting on Monday allows me to create a schedule that attempts to thwart a little bit of the panic attacks and overwhelming anxiety that overtake my life whenever they have nothing else to do.

It works that way with my budget as well. As soon as I’m done paying bills for a month, I plan out the next month. I know exactly how much money I’m going to need every payday. This provides a certain comfort to me. Along the same lines, I make almost no unplanned purchases, even for frivolous items like nail polish and the occasional soda and peanut butter Twix at Wawa. Buying books from Amazon is an extra kind of special; I will keep a book in my cart for days before I actually pull the trigger and purchase it (because I’m insane and have to make sure that there is no way possible it will ever be in the library). I have to plan for spending the money in my head before I can actually make the purchase. I’m only slightly neurotic.

But sometimes I have to let up on my compulsive need to plan every single penny. This happened to me twice this week. The first time, I realized that FinCon is the same week that my daughter starts kindergarten. Fortunately, I won’t miss her first day (or dropping her off on her second) but I couldn’t bear the thought of missing any time the following week. I know that it won’t make a difference to her and my husband is fine with it, but for me, I couldn’t do it. So I spent $150 to change my return flight from Monday to Sunday. I figure the money is offset by the savings I’ll have for spending one less night at the hotel but it was still $150 I was totally unprepared to spend. It’s totally worth it though.

The second time I spent unplanned money was on Sunday. I’ve mentioned before that I was in a sorority in college. Even though I grew extremely disenchanted with the organization as a whole, I still maintained a level of love and respect for several of my chapter sisters. I lost track of most of them once I graduated but thanks to a little thing called blogging (and Facebook), I was able to reconnect with one of my favorite people from my chapter (you know who you are and I know you’re reading). She was actually my “adopted” little sister and is probably one the biggest reasons I don’t regret joining my sorority. I emailed her after she left a comment and, once we realized we live about 45 minutes away from each other, we decided to meet for brunch. It was the best 3 hours I spent all weekend and I would have gladly paid more than the $18 it cost for the food. And I didn’t twitch once when I took out the money.

It’s probably good for me to spend unplanned money every now and then. It’s a good reminder that there’s no possible way I can control every situation in my life. But it’s also a good reminder of why I save my money and don’t make too many unplanned frivolous purchases. Because when important, unexpected expenses arise, it’s nice to be able to afford them.

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