Jana Says

Living life from cover to cover

Emmy lessons

by Jana 5 Comments

Last week was Confessions Week here at Daily Money Shot. There was one confession I didn’t make but I’m going to make now: I watch TV.

It’s because I watch TV that I find the Emmys so fascinating. I don’t care about what they’re wearing or who they’re dates are. I actually care about who’s nominated and who wins because, honestly, I like to see actors and shows I enjoy win. Call it competition, call it validation, call it crazy. It really makes me happy to see Jim Parsons (Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory) and Melissa McCarthy (Molly on Mike and Molly) and, most importantly, Kyle Chandler (Coach Eric Taylor on Friday Night Lights), win Emmys.

But now that I write about personal finance, I see things through a different lens. Last night, as I was watching the show (and freaking out that Kyle Chandler won because I? Have a huge crush on him), I realized that there are some lessons we can all learn from the Emmys (and no, it’s not that double stick tape and Spanx are amazing although I probably should look in to one or both). So here’s my Emmy recap, served with a twist of life lessons:

  • The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (thank you, Craig Kilborn, for leaving. You were good on Sports Center. Check into that again) won again. For the 9th year in a row. I’m not saying the show isn’t amazing and doesn’t deserve it but The Colbert Report and Late Night with Jimmy Fallon are just as awesome in their own right. Why didn’t they win? Lesson #1: In life, sometimes, no matter how hard you work, someone else will be more successful. It sucks but it’s true. But don’t let that person’s success derail your work ethic or debt pay down schedule. Keep working as hard as you possibly can because one day, you’ll get there too…
  • …just like Kyle Chandler did. I was apprehensive at first, to watch a show about football, but FNL did not suck at all. It never got the recognition I felt it deserved but it just kept on going in its quest to be the world’s most perfect show, which illustrates Lesson #2: Even if no one is paying attention, do the absolute best that you can. You  can’t live your life for an audience. Do what makes you happy and never, ever compromise yourself or your standards. Do your best work when you think no one is going to look at it. This applies to your job, your finances, your health, your marriage–everything. You are the one that sets your standards; make them as high as you can and strive to meet those standards…
  • …but know that ‘s OK to fail sometimes. Look at Charlie Sheen. That is a fail of epic proportions. Last night, though, he went on the show to present an award and, in what I’m sure was a very well planned and well timed speech, attempted to mend some fences. Lesson #3: Don’t be afraid to admit your mistakes. No matter how big or how much we screw up, the first step to moving on from our mistakes is admitting that we make them. You can’t get out of debt without first admitting that you screwed up your spending.You can’t start catching up on saving for retirement until you admit that you didn’t do it properly in the first place. Admitting your mistakes makes them real and it’s only in that reality can we begin to move on from them. And after you admit your mistake, make sure you find a safe place to fall with people who will catch you…
  • …and have no problem standing up there with you while you do what you need to do. Did you see the mock pageant arranged by the women nominated for Best Lead Actress in a Comedy? Absolutely priceless. But it brings up an important point. Lesson #4: Surround yourself with friends who are in the same position and build a support network. If you’re in debt, it’s good to have people around you to support you. Talk to others who have been there or are going through the same and know what you’re going through. Don’t do it alone. Make sure those who you’ve surrounded yourself lift you up and don’t bring you down, financially, emotionally or spiritually. Enjoy the lighter moments…
  • …even the ones that seem absurd. If you didn’t watch the show, there were some really funny moments. Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon wrestling. Lonely Island performing 3 of their songs including Captain Jack Sparrow (which is? Awesome!!!). Jane Lynch’s comment about balancing her checkbook. These were all great moments and demonstrated Lesson #5: Don’t take yourself too seriously. Have fun no matter what situation you’re in. If you’re paying off debt, take $1 or $2 and get a Redbox movie. Play a game with your friends or family. Take a walk. Laugh. A lot. If you’re out of debt and financially solvent, take that trip you’ve been planning and can finally afford. Laugh at yourself and your mistakes and learn from them at the same time. Because life? Only happens once.
Who knew that watching an awards show could be so enlightening? It was almost as enlightening as the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness…

Confession #5: Random confessions

by Jana 9 Comments

I had trouble deciding what to confess today. I’ve already covered that I look in your shopping cart, I’m for sale, I hate being a bridesmaid and I pay full price for things. While I know that I have a ton more confessions I can make, I wasn’t sure which one of them warranted its own post. So instead of just confessing to one financial secret, I’m going to confess to a few:

I pay for cable. -Pause for collective gasp.- I know that it’s popular among financial experts and bloggers to recommend canceling cable. And I did. Sort of. I don’t pay for any premium channels like Starz or HBO (though I did wait until Big Love was over before I got rid of HBO) but I do pay for channels like IFC, Nickelodeon (I have an almost 5 year old. This is a necessity in my book), and Style (judge if you will, I need me some Jerseylicious). Although I mainly watch network TV, it’s nice to have the option of a Bridezillas marathon if I need it.

I get my hair done in a salon. I like my hair too much to allow myself to do it myself. I would wind up with angular hair in a weird shade of orange. So I pay someone to cut and color my hair. I’ve been going to the same person for over 10 years, she does a great job and she’s really reasonable with her rates. Considering I’d wind up in her chair after the debacle that would be me doing my own hair, I consider this a money saving and preventative measure.

I eat in restaurants. Again, most experts say that if you’re paying off debt, you should not be eating in restaurants. I say screw that. I cook 6 out of 7 nights a week and I fully believe that once a week I should be allowed deserving of a night off. Menu planning and meal preparation is hard and doing it 6 of 7 days every week can get exhausting (if it were necessary, however, I would do it every day, every week, every month) . To ensure that I have a night off, we have a restaurant budget. If dinner one week uses up that money then we eat at home all 7 nights the following week. And I usually buy lunch once every two weeks, too. I love me some Panera and some Jake’s Wayback burgers (if you do not have this place near you, I am so sorry. If I ever go back to eating meat, a Jake’s burger will be the reason).

I’ve never seen an Indiana Jones movie. OK, that has absolutely nothing to do with money but I had to say it. Please don’t like me less.

That concludes Confessions Week here at Daily Money Shot. Thanks for reading all my confessions. I feel so much better to have gotten them off my chest.

Are there any confessions you’d like to make?

Confession #4: I pay full price

by Jana 5 Comments

Make sure you check out confessions 1, 2 and 3 as well.

Confession #4: I pay full price for things.

I know, I know. As a personal finance blogger carrying debt, I shouldn’t be paying full price for anything. It goes against everything that I should be saying. Unfortunately, there are just some things that I like way too much to give up and they are never, ever on sale. Which really is a shame.

I bet you’re wondering what it is I pay full price for. Here the dirty list (please don’t judge me too harshly, though I am expecting a moderate amount of judgment. Because that’s what I’d do):

  • Nail polish. I love nail polish. Particularly Essie and OPI brands. I have an overwhelming amount of bottles because I can’t resist buying them (why? Because I am a sucker for the names of nail polish. In fact, that’s typically how I pick what color I am going to buy. Best name wins). I like these brands because they are less harsh on my nails, they last a bit longer and the colors are just so pretty. Sadly, these brands are never, ever on sale. Oh, yeah. I also have the world’s most amazing top coat that I didn’t buy on sale either.
  • Shampoo. Call me vain but I really like my hair. It’s probably my favorite feature. So I treat is accordingly. I tend to use more expensive brands of shampoo and conditioner in order to take better care of my hair. I don’t mind paying full price for two reasons: 1) I tend to use a smaller amount which makes the product last longer and 2) I like when my hair smells good. You can channel Carly Simon now.
  • Make-up. I buy MAC make-up. I love it, it lasts a long time and it doesn’t make my skin break out. ‘Nuff said.
  • Food. Though I do shop generics and sometimes remember to use coupons, I will pay full price for food, particularly fruits, vegetables, a specific type of bread (Nature’s Valley. Best. Bread. Ever.), Greek yogurt, cheese and organic milk. I will sometimes pay full price for the vegetarian products like Boca, Lightlife and Morningstar Farms but that’s a rare occurrence. I’ve decided that since I do save in other areas of the supermarket, it’s OK to splurge and pay full price in other areas. As long as I’m sticking to my menu plan and my budget, I think it’s acceptable. 
  • Music. This includes everything from songs on iTunes to concert tickets to the radio in my office. Music is a crucial part of my life and, much like Princess Vespa and her industrial strength hair dryer, I can’t live without it. I can relate certain songs to every part of my life and it also provides a nice backdrop to my day. A good song on the radio will make me stop working for a few minutes and clear my head. As a result, I will pay full price for this enjoyment. On a frugal music note, I still use the free Pandora service; I’m not ready to pay for that yet.

This is not to say that I pay full price for everything. All of my Apple products are refurbished. The clearance section at DSW is my favorite. I use coupons and sales for clothes. I use coupons and matinee prices for the movies. I use my government employee discount rate for hotels. I use eBay for toys, winter coats and assorted random items. The library is my favorite place for books. I can go on about the places I save money or don’t pay full price but I’m afraid that would get boring.

I’ve rationalized in my head that paying full price for some things is acceptable because I include it in my budget, I’m not going into debt to do it and honestly, sometimes it just feels good to buy what I want without fretting about the price.

Is there anything you pay full price for?

Confession #3: I hate being a bridesmaid

by Jana 10 Comments

(Before reading this confession, make sure you check out Confession #1 and #2)

Confession #3: I hate being a bridesmaid.

It’s not because I have the whole “Always a bridesmaid never a bride” thing going on. I’ve been married for 7 1/2 years so I’m good there. No, I hate being a bridesmaid because it’s so freaking expensive. Let’s use the wedding I’m in next month to highlight my argument.

When my friend, who has been a dear friend since we pledged together in 1996, asked me to be in her wedding, I immediately said yes. Not only because she is a great friend but because she was also a bridesmaid in my wedding. I couldn’t not return the honor. Then buyer’s remorse set it. You see, my friend has ridiculously expensive taste. My frugal Batsignal started tingling in anxiety for what this wedding was going to cost me. Thus far, I am not wrong. Let’s review:

The dress and shoes. First of all, let me just say that a burgundy dress with bead work is not in and of itself atrocious. However, when you are–let’s see, how do I put this delicately–well-endowed, the last thing you want to wear is a strapless dress with sparkly beads around the neckline. Despite that, the bride at least did a nice job picking a dress with a reasonable price. I think it cost $140. But that kind of money for a dress I will wear once makes me twitch. And that doesn’t include the alterations. Fortunately, I only need a hem done but we’re still looking at about $50 or so. So, total, $200 for a dress I will wear for 8 hours. Then there’s the mandatory gold strappy shoes. I found a pair for $40 at DSW. I can live with this. Total running tab: $240

The hotel. This wedding is 2 hours from where I live which means I must stay in a hotel. For two nights due to the rehearsal dinner the night before. The room rate was $135 each night, not including tax and fees and parking. So let’s tack on another $75 for that bringing the hotel total to $245. Total running tab: $485

The bachelorette party and bridal shower. Remember I said how the bride has expensive taste? Well, this is trickling over to the bachelorette party and bridal shower. All 4 bridesmaids bought a gift together so my share of that is $45 which I find reasonable. Dinner is at the Melting Pot (have you ever been? Delicious but pricey, especially for food you essentially need to cook yourself) and no one will tell me what’s going on afterwards except we’re going to a bar in Red Bank, NJ (I keep expecting to run into Kevin Smith), and no strippers (this is actually fine with me. Male strippers? Are disgusting). Estimated guess for this night? $200, not including the dress I need to buy because I am boring and never go out and have nothing that is appropriate to wear in a bar. New estimate? $250. Total running tab: $735


Everything else. Hair, makeup, manicure, pedicure, gas, tolls, wedding gift, bridal shower wishing well gift. The list of everything else goes on, costing me at least another $400. I suppose I can go without the hair and make-up and it may come to that. But let’s say it doesn’t. Total tab for this wedding: $1135. That is my freaking mortgage payment!

I love my friend. I really do. I’m flattered that she asked me to be in her wedding (she also wanted my daughter to be the flower girl but the fiance nixed that. I think I want to hug him). And she did the same for me when she was in my wedding. Secretly, though, I wish I wasn’t in the wedding. It may be cause to celebrate her marriage but it’s certainly not a party for my wallet.

I just hope the wedding food is good. Because good food? Would make this whole situation way more bearable.

Confession #1: I look in your shopping cart

by Jana 7 Comments

This week, I’ve decided to confess some of my more unsavory habits. First up: I look in your shopping cart.

Judge me if you will but it’s true. When I am at the supermarket, I look in your shopping cart. Sometimes I am surprised by what I see. Sometimes I am appalled (for instance, scrapple will never, ever be an acceptable purchase). Sometimes I am confused. Sometimes I am jealous. Sometimes I am even reminded of something I need to purchase myself. I could probably spend hours in the supermarket studying what people buy. Other people’s shopping carts fascinate me and I don’t know why.

I will also confess that while I am looking in your shopping cart, I will make assumptions about the following:

  • Your cooking skills
  • Your marital status
  • Whether or not you have children
  • The ages of those children
  • Your snacking habits
  • Your ability to shop sales
  • Your affinity for name brand foods
  • How often you go food shopping
  • Your plans for the night/weekend
What I will not make assumptions about:
  • Your economic status
  • Your health/weight as it pertains to your food choices
  • Whether or not you use food stamps (SNAP) and/or WIC
Why do I not make assumptions about those things? For starters, it’s way too personal and, in my opinion, off limits. Second, it’s not something that can be determined simply by analyzing food choices (then again, neither can cooking skills or marital status) but I refuse to believe that people using SNAP or WIC are a generally unhealthy bunch as compared to those who pay without government assistance (seriously, go look in my sister’s or in-laws’ kitchens. I think they keep the junk food industry in the black). Third, how you pay is none of my business nor is what you choose to feed yourself even if you’re on assistance.
There is an ongoing public discourse about the merits of the SNAP program. Many seem to feel that, because the program is funding through tax dollars, they have the authority to govern what people using SNAP buy (for some reason, no one really targets WIC. I’m pretty sure this is because of the nature and target population of the program). I totally understand where they’re coming from. If you want to spend your time policing what other people buy, that’s fine with me. It’s just not something I choose to do. Because if we’re going to use that logic, there are lots of other tax funded programs that I feel warrant policing and some of them do not include something as necessary and basic as food. SNAP is an easy target because it’s public, it’s visible, and the image of the welfare queen with her Coach purse, fake nails and expensive SUV is one, however false, that’s been painted by the media as the norm rather than the exception.
Please don’t misunderstand my unwillingness to generalize SNAP users or police SNAP users’ food purchases for complacency with the program itself. Do I think the SNAP program needs a complete overhaul? That is a resounding yes. Do I think that program abuse runs rampant? Absolutely. Do I think that not enough is done to combat abuse? Certainly. Do I think that sometimes, ideas about SNAP and what makes sense within the confines of the program are absolutely asinine? Hell, yes (exhibit A: The Arizona pilot program allowing SNAP at restaurants). 
The reality is that, regardless of my opinions, I’m not in a position to make large scale public policy changes. I can have my opinions and I can engage in discussions but in the end, I don’t run anything except my mouth. So I’ll just settle for forming opinions about what the single man is doing with the combination of whipped cream, dish soap, Fritos and Froot Loops. It’s a lot more entertaining.

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