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3 things that made me unhappy (and 2 that didn’t)

July 30, 2012 by Jana 7 Comments

happy sad — Image found on http://cultivating-consciousness.blogspot.com

You know how the theme song to the Facts of Life starts with “You take the good, you take the bad”? It seems completely cliché, but sometimes it’s completely true.

Like this past weekend.

I try not to do spending recaps or anything like that because quite frankly, I’m not a fan of them and my spending is so boring most of your eyes would glaze over and you’d think “why in the world is she telling us this? Does she really have nothing else to say?” To which I’d reply, “well, most likely”. But in this case, I want to share with you not so much what I spent money on but some financial things that happened that made me both happy and angry.

Let’s start with the angry. There are three of them.

Comcast. As many of you already know, my BFF Andrea from So Over This (formerly So Over Debt) loathes Comcast for a host of reasons that are completely reasonable. I’ve never had the service problems that she has but we do battle them at least 3 times a year over their price increases that seemingly come out of nowhere. My husband had to walk into the battle arena on Saturday, just before we left for a birthday party because we received a “courtesy call” that our DVR and HD rates were going up by $16. According to this lovely company, we had a promotional rate (we did not) and it was set to expire, causing our bill to increase. Now, given the fact that we had just reupped our subscription to HBO (which we had canceled 2 years ago due to price), we now need to cancel that in order to offset this new, unplanned and unexpected increase (since DVR and HD are more important to us). Having all of those puts us substantially over the limit we have for our bundled Comcast service and I’m pissed.

Boo to you, Comcast. I think you suck.

[Read more…]

My way isn’t right. And neither is yours.

July 20, 2012 by Jana 17 Comments

I’ve been cranky about a few things lately. I’ve decided that I’m going to share those things with you because you might be cranky about them, too. If not, please just bear with me. If you’re not in the mood for crankiness, that’s totally fine, too. I understand.

There is something that occurs with some regularity in the personal finance blogosphere that irks me to a fairly large degree. I’ve been struggling with how to phrase it properly but then I gave up on that so I’ll just sum it up this way:

It’s the “all or nothing” attitude that many bloggers convey.

It bothers me that many bloggers take the position that finance lives in absolutes. It does not. Finance is all about grays; it’s not black and white. What may work for one blogger may not work or cannot work for another. For instance, my family will never be a 1 car family. That works for us. But for many bloggers, they would assert that in order to be frugal or smart with money, a family must only have one car and having two cars is a sign of overspending, a waste of money, and the first step down a narrow, dirty hallway of financial irresponsibility. It’s as if they forget that there are different places in the world, complete with different circumstances and logistics. That’s not really helpful.

Neither is asserting to the world that you do not watch any television at all and are therefore more well read, more well rounded and more productive. Speaking from experience, it is possible to be a bookworm, a productive, engaged, inquisitive individual and still indulge in a crappy reality show or serial drama every now and then. Watching TV does not spell the demise of a person’s intelligence or productivity; it just means that that person likes to turn her brain off every now and then and just relax. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. TV shows in moderation do not ruin a person, but I will concede the point that too much programming might interfere with other pursuits. Depending on the person.

Then there’s the whole issue of coupons. I can’t stand this debate. Do coupons save money? Yes. Can you get really good deals if you use them? Yes. Are coupons available virtually every place you look? Yes. Are they the only way you can be a good steward of your money? No. I do not support the contention that if you do not use coupons, you are a fool who likes to throw away good money. I do, however, support the contention that if you use coupons on items that you use regularly and couple that with looking for good deals, you can save even more money. I also support the contention that coupons are not the only way to save, and to insist that they are is just bad advice.

And please don’t even get me started on saving money on raising kids written by people who don’t have them. That might be a cranky post unto itself.

If you notice a theme in my rant, it’s the fact that many bloggers refuse to accept a middle ground. Many bloggers believe that what they are spouting and preaching is the end all and be all of personal finance information. But let me make my opinion clear: No one way is right. No one way is wrong. It’s what makes personal finance personal. Each person needs to find a method or information, and then adapt that to her own life. To suggest that doing it any other way than what one particular person does our readers a disservice.

In my limited experience as a blogger, people read personal finance blogs for a variety of reasons: to learn, to be entertained (as entertaining as money can be), to commiserate, to feel less lonely in their pursuit of a more frugal lifestyle or debt repayment journey, to connect with someone who’s in the same situation, or to just pass the time during their lunch break. But whatever their reason, we have a responsibility to not insult the reader or condescend to the reader. We have a responsibility to provide information and options, and to share our stories.

Implying that only one way is correct doesn’t help. We need to accept our role as information sharers rather than information dictators.

That’s how we connect and affect change.

Be brave

July 13, 2012 by Jana 17 Comments

Print — Image found on http:// warriorpoetblog.com

Personal finance guru Dave Ramsey coined a phrase that he repeats over and over again, like a mantra for those wanting to get out of debt and gain control over their money. He encourages his followers to think that “Debt is normal. Be weird”. It’s a nice concept, one that my husband and I used during our time paying down the bulk of our debt. The phrase kept us going when it got tiring using the money to pay off a credit card. It lifted our spirits when everyone we knew was spending and we were at home, watching another movie from the library. It became, as Mr. Ramsey intended, our family motto.

But now it’s more than a motto. It’s a way of life. We’ve become accustomed to using cash or a debit card. It’s not unheard of for us to abstain from buying something if we don’t have the money to pay for it upfront (the only exception were our cars). The list goes on. We never want to go back to the place where we barely had enough money for food because our debt was so high. So we apply what we’ve learned and choose not to make those same mistakes.

At this point, Mr. Ramsey’s version of “weird” is just our normal. And we’re okay with that. By eliminating the majority of our consumer debt, we’ve opened up a whole new world for ourselves. In this world, there’s room for a new motto:

Be brave.

Being brave is hard. It’s harder than being fearless because being fearless means just that—you have no fears. To me, being brave is admitting you have fears and doubts and insecurities and facing them head on. Being brave is standing up to what you think may knock you down, and then getting up again when it does. Being brave is exhausting because it takes all that you have to keep going even when you want to quit. Being brave is hard because it means accepting who you are, including your faults, and then admitting it. Which is never easy.

But above all, being brave is where everything starts. Without bravery, we don’t take that first step. We don’t admit what we really want out of life or a relationship (romantic or friendship or even familial). We don’t make the choice to leave something that makes us unhappy. We don’t share with the world what scares us and what’s wrong with us in the hopes that by doing so will make one less person feel alone. We don’t take that first step towards paying off our debt.

Essentially, without bravery, nothing gets done.

I never thought of myself as a brave person. I thought I was just a regular chick, floating along in my corner of the world. I didn’t think I’d ever done anything above average or out of the ordinary. And I was okay with that. Then, in one of my sleepless nights, I started doing some thinking about all that I’ve done in my life. And I realized I’m pretty damn brave! After all I’ve:

Stayed in a marriage that most people would have left
Announced to the world (or at least the readers of this site) that I have both depression and secondary infertility
Left a job that made me unhappy to pursue a career as a writer
Started, and then completed, my consumer debt payoff journey
Began this blog, and then, barely knowing anyone, attended FinCon11 3 months later

I’m sure there are a few other parts of my life that I could classify as brave but those are the highlights.

When I think about how far I’ve come as a person just by being brave (and admittedly a little weird, too), it makes me feel good about myself. I’m happy with the person I’m becoming and reflecting on those choices, I don’t think I would have done anything differently.

If you’re apprehensive about any choices you’re facing, that’s okay. It’s normal to feel that way. And it’s even more normal to take your time to make those decisions. But when it all comes down to it, you’re going to make the choice that’s best for you, even if it’s not a popular, common or even practical.

Because you are brave.

What I’ve gained from paying off debt

May 30, 2012 by Jana 12 Comments

There have been several times in my life when I’ve leaped into the unknown, only half sure of what I was doing but completely sure it was the right thing. The first time was in 1995 when I left my hometown for college at the University of Delaware. The second time was in 2004 when I got married. The third time was in 2006 when I found out I was pregnant. The fifth time is now amidst some pretty big decisions I’m mulling over and decisions I can’t quite mention yet.

The fourth time, though? That was in 2007 when my husband and I got serious about paying off our debt. I’ve discussed ad nauseam the reasons why we decided to pay down our sickening amount of debt and I’ve talked about what we’re thinking about doing next. However, what I don’t think I’ve discussed are the benefits we’re reaping from the fact that our debt (with the exception of his student loans and our mortgage; I don’t count his loans as my debt since a) he came into the relationship with that debt and b) my name isn’t on it) is gone. So perhaps it’s time to talk about that. So let’s do that.

Although it took 5 years, we did it. We paid off our jointly accumulated debt, including the extra $17K we incurred in 2010 when we had to buy my husband a new car. Overall, we paid off just under $70K in 5 years. Not too shabby. And when I made that final debt payment, I felt like Andre the Giant was lifted off my shoulders. I know that I walked a bit taller that day. However, along with the relief of no more debt, there are some other benefits including:

The lack of stress over money. Although we don’t fight about money, when we were paying down debt, there was a tremendous amount of stress. We would stress about how much to put towards a specific debt and then stress that we weren’t doing enough for the others (we followed the DR snowball method, although not quite perfectly). We stressed that the date for the final payment seemed so far off and that we never felt like it would come. We stressed that something bad would happen, and that bad event (whatever it was) would derail us from our very well constructed debt repayment plan. The list of stressors on our money was extensive and exhausting. But now that we don’t have those payments, those stressors are lifted. It’s nice to get paid, make the necessary utility payments, withdraw cash for the other expensive and then just breathe.
Having choices. Now that we don’t have money allocated to debt repayment, we’ve been able to readjust our budget to include more funds in areas that were sorely lacking. We can have a little more fun with our money (within reason, of course) as well as know that if certain things happen, we’ll be okay (I’m sorry to be vague but I promise all will be revealed at some point). It’s a fabulous feeling to be able to control your money instead of having it control you. Which is what happens when all of your extra money is being spent on unnecessary debt.
Being able to help and support others. A very dear friend of mine is just beginning her debt payoff journey. She and her husband are in exactly the same position that my husband and I were in 5 years, and I know how hard this is on them. It’s a huge lifestyle adjustment to go from frivolously spending on credit and worrying about making payments every month to carefully watching every nickel that flows through the checkbook. But the fact that we’ve been there means that we can support them and encourage them and mentor them in ways that we didn’t have. DR talks a lot about giving back financially; I think giving back in this capacity is even more important.
Learning from the past. Five years of paying off debt isn’t something you quickly forget. It’s kind of like labor–it’s painful, it’s exhausting, it takes forever (if you’re me) and although time does lessen the severity, it’s not something you ever forget (anyone who says that she doesn’t remember the pain of labor is a damn liar). But you learn from it. You know what to do differently the next time. In the case of debt, you make sure to remember the causes of that pain and then you don’t do that. Although we’re stronger people because of it, my husband and I never care to relive the last 5 years, financially speaking.

It’s true that debt freedom is priceless. I can’t wait for the day my husband’s loans are gone and our house it paid off. But for now, I’ll settle with having no consumer debt. Like Cookie Monster singing the praises of the letter C, it’s good enough for me.

Readers, what have you gained from paying off your debt?

Book Review: The Super Duper Simple Book on Money

May 25, 2012 by Jana 1 Comment

When I finished reading Alan Akina’s “The Super Duper Simple Book On Money” (which only took about a half an hour to read), the first thought I had was “wow, that is an aptly name book”. When Alan says it is a simple book, he tells the truth. The thing about it is, it’s not just that it’s an easy book to read; the concepts that he presents are very simple. And when you’re trying to understand money, sometime simple is best.

Alan begins the book by divulging some elements of his childhood. He grew up poor, had divorced parents, often moving from home to home. He gives a very touching story about his grandmother and her influence on his life (what I enjoyed about this is how is really highlights the profound impact just one person can have). He talks about his struggles with money and how he overcame them, and how those struggles inspired him to teach others what he learned. For someone like me, who prefers the advice of real people who have been there to the advice of experts who never have, it was nice to have a context in which to set his ideas.

On to Alan’s principles. The book focuses on 5 basic concepts revolving around money:

Money in (income)
Money out (bills)
Money we owe (debt)
Money we grow (investments)
Money we share (charitable giving)

It really doesn’t get easier than that. What I appreciate about these concepts is that it breaks down money management into easy to explain ideas. As a parent trying to teach my child about money, these 5 principles are simple to explain, even to a 5 year old. They make sense, are logical, and are presented in a progression that makes you have that “aha” moment about your finances. You finish the book not confused about how to manage your money; rather you finish the book thinking “I can do this”. It’s a nice feeling.

But I think my favorite part of the book was how interactive it is. I read the e-book version of the book, and to break it up, there are links to downloadable worksheets, YouTube videos of Alan presenting his ideas on a Hawaiian affiliate of Fox News (where he has been presenting financial news for years), and sidebar stories of people he’s helped with his advice (I’m a sucker for success stories). Now that I have the book saved on my iPad, I can go back and reread it or download the worksheets, especially when I need to get back to the basics with my finances.

This, like Wealth Watchers, is a book I had when I first started learning about money. And like Wealth Watchers, it’s not so much a plan to get out of debt as it is a book that gives a broad overview of financial management. That financial management includes emphasizing the importance of avoiding or getting out of debt.

A word of caution about this book. For those who already have a fairly strong understanding of managing their day to day finances, this book will be too simple. In fact, it may seem oversimplified and it’s probably not the best choice to add to the personal finance section of your library. But if you know someone who did not receive a proper financial education or is struggling with understanding the basics of financial management, this is a great place to start.

Although I received a free copy of this book, the opinions are entirely mine and I was not compensated in any other way.

3 things that made me unhappy (and 2 that didn’t)

My way isn’t right. And neither is yours.

Be brave

What I’ve gained from paying off debt

Book Review: The Super Duper Simple Book on Money

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