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How to teach your kids about money

April 1, 2013 by Jana 10 Comments

Although I am rarely at loss for worded or topic ideas, readers are the main focus of this particular blog. Yes, my story is somewhat interesting but for the most part, I like writing what you want to know. One way I sought to accomplish that was to ask the members of a financial Facebook group I belong to what questions, information, or advice they'd like to have. One of the members asked for information on teaching kids about money, hence this post. If you have anything you'd like me to write about, or have any questions you'd like me to answer on the blog, please don't hesitate to contact me (note: I am not a certified money counselor, financial planner or anything remotely related to that. I am a mother and that's pretty much my only qualification on this topic).

If you have a child, you probably want them to understand money. You want them to know all the things you know, and maybe some that you don't, so they can be financially successful adults (however you define successful). In order to do that, you need to give your kids a solid financial education at home. School may touch on the topic but their attitudes and habits towards money are behaviors learned at home. In order to give them a great financial education, here are some suggestions:

  1. Include them in financial discussions. Bear in mind, this is dependent on the child's age but even a kindergartner can participate in conversations about saving money for a vacation, how much to spend on a birthday present, or what's a fair rate for her allowance (or salary. My friend does this instead of an allowance and I love the idea). Allowing them to participate in budget discussions not only shows them that talking about money is not taboo but it makes them feel empowered and responsible to be part of the family's money.
  2. Give them autonomy. Although many will disagree with me, I think gift cards for a kid are a great idea. It's a very basic beginner budgeting tool (as there's only a finite amount of money to spend and they have to figure out how to get the most from it), it gives them the freedom to dictate how they spend that money. Giving them the leeway to choose how they spend birthday money, part-time job money, or any other money that they come into is a good learning experience. And practice for later on, when they really have to manage their finances carefully.
  3. Make it fun. Let's face it. Money can be a pretty boring subject to discuss. Many adults hate talking about it and that's why they don't. But managing finances is as much a life skill as doing laundry and cooking and it needs to be taught. In order to do that, the learning should be shrouded in things that are engaging and entertaining. Playing games like Life, PayDay, and Monopoly are great learning tools for kids of all ages. In my house, we read books like Sweet Pickles Elephant Eats the Profits and Just Saving My Money. There are also some good money apps and websites you can use (our favorite is the Money Savvy Pig). Participating in these activities is tons more fun than giving a lecture on compound interest.
  4. Model the behavior you want them to learn. If you want to have a kid who's a healthy eater, you need to show them that fruits and vegetables taste good by eating them yourself. If you want to have a kid who exercises, they need to see you going out for a run or taking an exercise class. If you want to have a kid who reads, they need to see you sitting down and reading a book. The same goes for being financially responsible. If you want to have a kid who doesn't fritter away money, can separate needs from wants, knows how to save, is charitable (with either time or money), and is smart with investing, you have to do all of this. The whole “do as I say not as I do” routine is completely ineffective and will most likely perpetuate the cycle of poor money management.
  5. Make it age appropriate. This was mentioned in point 1, but it is crucial. What you can teach a 16 year old about money is completely different than what you can teach a 6 year old. If you are too basic for an older child or too sophisticated for a younger one, you'll lose their interest and the message and lesson will get lost. If you are at a loss for ideas or activities fore teaching kids–particularly the younger ones–about money, Pinterest has some great ideas. One favorite activity in our house is to play grocery store. We put out food all over our living room, give our daughter some play money and let her go shopping after she makes her list. It's fun, it's family time, and it teaches a valuable lesson. However, if she were 16, we'd probably do something entirely different to get our point across.

One essential element that you need to consider before teaching your kids about money is the child's readiness and eagerness to learn. Some kids are ready and willing to digest the information at a much younger age than others, and you need to work within that. Trying to force kid to learn before he's ready might actually wind up defeating the purpose. Although I'll admit that you won't know that until you try.

As parents, we need to not shy away from giving out kids a financial education. What they learn as a child will impact their future and we need to set them up for success the best we can.

Readers, how do you teach your kids about money? If you have adult kids, what worked and what didn't?

 

Filed Under: Family matters, Money, money tips

4 ways to handle someone’s lack of personal responsibility

March 29, 2013 by Jana 15 Comments

“Man must cease attributing his problems to his environment, and learn again to exercise his will, his personal responsibility”–Albert Schweitzer

someecards.com - I don't need anything in return for seeing you through your many bad choices except a cameo role in the eventual TV movie about your life.Most of us know, or have known, someone in dire financial straights but who refuses to accept an responsibility for his situation. It’s his parents’ fault or the credit card company’s fault or the landlord’s fault or the electric company’s fault or even his school’s fault. Someone else is always to blame for the fact that he’s behind on his bills, can’t keep a job, is one notice away from having the power shut off, and spends money on wants instead of needs. He says that he wants to change but his habits and decisions indicate otherwise. He justifies his poor choices with an entitlement attitude (you know, “I try so hard to find a job but no one will help me so I deserve to spend this extra windfall on a new TV instead of food and catching up on my bills”). He begs for your assistance and when you try to help, he dismisses all of your advice with excuses and “I can’t do that” statements and resumes his more important Call of Duty game.

He’s your neighbor, your friend, your brother, your co-worker. He’s someone you care about and you know has the potential to do better if only he’d apply himself. And it’s maddening to encounter this on a regular basis. However, when faced with someone like this, there are things you can do, and not do, to both help the person and maintain your sanity:

  1. Inform. Provide the person with information. Lend them books about budgeting, employment and personal finance. Is the person not a book reader? Point them to podcasts, blogs, websites, worksheets, job fairs, free seminars…anything you come across that you think might help. Maybe tell him an inspirational story or two from your own experiences, one about how you turned yourself around or how you learned to live on a budget. But let it stop there. Just give them the information. Let him decide what he’s going to do with it. 
  2. Encouarge. Be this person’s cheerleader. He may not have anyone else around to make him feel good about his attempts to better himself and his choices. So, if you notice a small change, or if he gives you a good piece of news (“Hey, I got my power turned on because I worked out a payment plan with the electric company), praise him (it sounds condescending, and like something you would do for a toddler, but it works). The subtly point out that one small change can lead to another small change and so on. Keep it positive, though; a “great job on not buying snacks from 7-11 every day” is better than an I told you so. Making him feel guilty or ashamed for his previously poor choices is a surefire way to send him back to those.
  3. Support. But only the positive behaviors. You do not want to support the negative ones. For instance, if this person has a job interview and needs a ride because public transportation isn’t an option, there’s nothing necessarily wrong with providing one. You are helping him better himself and his situation. However, if he needs you to give him a lift to the mall so he can buy a new Blu-Ray movie or eat at the food court, then you need to say no. That’s supporting the poor choices and that’s not beneficial to either party. In fact, that’s pretty close to enabling, which is something you definitely do not want to do. And, in addition to that, do not, under any circumstances, provide financial assistance. Let him deal with the ramifications of his poor choices and decisions (unless there are kids involved. But then I would do it in the form of a gift for the kids rather than cash to the adult in question).
  4. Walk away. Sometimes it gets to be too much. You offer advice and it gets ignored. You try to stay positive and you only get negativity. You provide options and suggestions and they’re dismissed. You show them why they can and they tell you why they can’t. You’re polite and are met with rudeness. A person can only handle so much before she gets fed up and can’t do anything more. If you’re at the point where you’ve done all you can do and you’re exhausted from the constant drama, walk away. Protect your sanity. It can’t be your problem forever.

A person can change his (or her) financial situation if he wants to. But first he has to take responsibility for the actions and choices and decisions that put him there. Because without accepting and acknowledging those, there’s no foundation for change. A person has to see his errors before he can change them. And if he’s not willing to see those, or continually makes excuses for his perpetually bad circumstances, then it’s not worth making yourself crazy (or broke) to help.

Readers, have you ever known a person like this? How did you handle the situation? 

Filed Under: Money, Relationships

7 suggestions for decorating on a budget

March 27, 2013 by Jana 12 Comments

When I was in grad school, I lived in a cheap, affordable, craphole of an apartment. I mean, my roommate and I did the best we could with our mismatched, hand-me-down furniture, lack of ability to paint or modify anything, and general lack of any interior design skills. But, when it all boils down to it, the place was hideous. Thankfully, we had friends and family who liked us enough to see past the eye sore of our living quarters and just enjoyed hanging out with us.

What a great idea to make a bathroom a little nicer!
What a great idea to make a bathroom a little nicer!

Had we chosen to do so, we probably could have spruced the place up a bit (sadly, we were too lazy and didn’t spend enough time at home to care that much) and made it a little more…presentable. Although we didn’t have a ton of money to spare, we probably could have taken about $20 and a trip to the dollar store (or a place like Walmart) and made some pretty decent adjustments. If I knew then what I know now, here’s what I would have done:

  1. Candles. Not only do candles smell great (for the most part), they provide little pops of color that can make a bland, drab apartment seem a little more inviting. Color brightens up a day and a mood and, if your apartment has a funk that you just can’t get rid of, the smell from the candles might cover it up. The price of the candles will depend on the size you buy but I’ve found that the smaller ones do just fine (and you don’t have to commit to a scent for too long if you don’t like it!)
  2. Flowers in vases. Fake flowers, of course. Fresh flowers are expensive and hard to care for but the fake ones? Perfect. Create a bouquet of your favorite colors, place them in a plastic or glass vase that you set on your dining table, coffee table or kitchen counter and voila! Instant change to a room. Plus, the flowers are inexpensive enough that you can change them with the seasons and not spend a fortune (also, they don’t die so you can reuse them).
  3. Pictures or art work. Professional prints can cost a pretty penny so why not create your own? Online sites like Snapfish and Shutterfly often have great coupons and discounts on pictures. Upload a few of your favorites (can be of family, friends, sunsets…whatever makes you happy), order them in a variety of sizes, purchase inexpensive dollar store frames (who’s going to know the difference?) and hang them on the walls. This can definitely make a place feel more like home.
  4. Storage boxes. Or bins or trays or whatever. The dollar stores sell a wide array of fancy looking storage containers. Pick up a few of those and use them to store (and display!) your books, makeup, magazines, TV remotes, board games or whatever personal touches you have in your apartment. Not only does it make a place look cleaner (which definitely helps make it feel less awful) but these again provide some color and shows off your creativity! You can also get some photo boxes at craft stores, and those are not too pricey, either.
  5. A vision board. Put anything on it you want—vacation ideas, your plans for your dream house, ideas for a wedding or kid’s room; pretty much anything that will inspire you. Don’t have the supplies? Glue and poster board are cheap. Ask co-workers, friends, a doctor’s office or the library if they have old copies of magazines they’re willing to donate to you. Use markers if you’re hesitant to ask. Then, when you’re done, hang it somewhere conspicuous. This serves two purposes—you’ll look at it to keep you motivated and when you have visitors, it’s a great conversation piece.

Two other suggestions I have for making a not so wonderful apartment (or house) feel a little less awful. The first is this: don’t compare yourself and your situation to what other people have. You don’t know where they came from, why their current house looks the way it does (they could be stellar at finding flea market deals and fixing things up, for example), how much money they have, or even if the decorating was a gift from a friend who was working on a school project. Comparing your interior design to someone else’s is a surefire way to feel depressed, angry and resentful (on the other hand, you can also use it as motivation or for ideas).

The second suggestion is this: Leave. Take a walk. Go to the library. Visit an animal shelter. Window shop at a thrift store or yard sale (or take a few dollars. You might find something great for your place!). It doesn’t really matter where you go, just get out. Spending all your time inside a home that makes you feel bad will only dampen your mood. Even people with the most perfect houses leave them from time to time. Because no matter how much you hate where you live, there’s still something a tiny bit comforting about coming home.

Especially if you’ve made it a little more inviting. This is your home, not matter how temporary or permanent, it’s where you’re living. There are a number of adjustments you can make for a very little sum of money to make it more pleasant during the time you’re there. So why not give it a shot?

Readers, what are some ideas you have for decorating on a budget? 

Filed Under: Family matters, Money Tagged With: home

Just in time for spring: A spending freeze

March 20, 2013 by Jana 13 Comments

For the last several weeks I have been on an unexplained, unnecessary, full fledged spending binge. From lunches out to Zumba gear to nail products to a sewing machine (yes, a sewing machine. For my pioneer project. Which I probably should explain at some point), and all small things in between, I have purchased something probably every day. Fortunately, it is all out of my personal income, not our family's shared income, so I am not really screwing anyone except myself. But still, it's bad. And it needs to stop. And I have a plan.

My friend Steph (remember her? She had a great guest post last week) used a phrase earlier in the year that I quite enjoyed. She used “spending freeze” to describe her attempt to rein in her budget. I am going to steal that phrase for the next 6 weeks when I challenge myself to start paying attention to what goes out of my wallet.

So why a spending freeze?

Besides the simple fact that I am using up all of my discretionary income and it's making me nervous, I've realized that I simply just have too much stuff. There is no need to bring more crap into my house when what I have will make due. The only exception is clothes because I really do need a new bathing suit and some summer attire. And that's a need. Truly.

I am choosing to look at this as a “spending freeze” rather than a “no spend challenge” (full disclosure, I am a HUGE fan of no spend challenges; I find them to be very helpful) for a couple of reasons: one, it's much more positive. When something has a positive rather than punitive connotation, I am more apt to stick to it; two, it implies a more temporary situation, which also makes me more prone to sticking to a challenge; and three, I really just like the term.

So, a spending freezing we will go.

Are there rules?

Of course there are. No challenge is complete without rules. My life isn't complete without rules. Not too many, of course, but just enough to give me some structure and force me to get my nose out of a book. But that's neither here nor there. So we'll move on.

For this challenge, I am working with these parameters:

  1. Any preplanned expense does not count. Besides bills and other expenses of daily living, I have to pay for a Zumba master class ticket, an anniversary something for my husband (our 9 year wedding anniversary is next month), a pedicure (I swim now. No gross feet), and some fabric for a quilt for my daughter. I know these are coming up and I am ready for them.
  2. Shop with what I have. When I feel like buying a new purse or nail polish, I need to dig into what I already have at home and use that. Perhaps something that hasn't been used in a while. I know I have a ton of that stuff. It's like what I used to do with my daughter's toys–rotate them so when I brought out a toy she hadn't seen in awhile, it appeared new.
  3. Resist. And return things on time. Free crafting events, library books, Redbox movies rented with a coupon, and free family events do not remain free or inexpensive if I have fines or buy crap (oh, craft stores. Why are you so tempting with your 40% off sales and coupons?). These two are a huge leak in my budget and I really need to fix it.
  4. No Amazon. It is my weakness and I have to stay away. Not even to browse or make a wish list. The gift card is gone. Purchasing anything from that site is prohibited for the next 6 weeks.

To keep myself accountable, I'll post a weekly update on DMS's Facebook page and, if I don't, please feel free to bug me about it.

My goal for this is simply to regain self-control with money and shopping. I have become too careless and for a person who advocates being careful with money, I feel like kind of a hypocrite. I don't like that. So I am going to fix it.

I know this isn't a unique or even remotely original idea. That's okay. Sometimes the most mundane, boring and overused ideas are that way for a reason.

They work.

Note: I tried a no spend challenge last May and even wrote a post about it. Not only did I monumentally fail at that challenge but after reading that post and comparing it to this one, I have realized that my financial habits definitely fall into cycles. There are certain parts of the year that it is much easier for me to manage my money than others. And I tend to overspend at the end of the winter/beginning of spring. I have some theories on why. Let me know if you'd like me to discuss.

 

Filed Under: budget, Money

An open letter to high school students about money

March 13, 2013 by Jana 7 Comments

Dear High School studentmoney,

Congratulations on making it this far! High school is quite a challenging time in your life. Between relationships, studying, friendships, parents, afterschool activities, weekend plans and always wanting to sleep, you’re in for a rough road ahead. But I assure you, as bad as it may seem at times, you will make it through. It won’t always be pleasant but it will pass. I promise.

But we’re not really here to talk about all that stuff today. No, today we’re going to talk about how to prepare yourself for the financial realities of…life after high school. Whether that’s college, employment, or something else, you’re going to not only need money but you’re going to need to learn how to manage it. What better time to learn those skills than when you’re living rent and expense free in your parents’ house?  (And trust me, this is all practical stuff. No algebra, random historical facts or memorizing elements. Those typically only come in handy for game shows and illegal activities).

So let’s get started. Here’s a few ways to prepare for your impending adulthood:

  1. Learn to budget. If you have a part-time job or receive an allowance, you have money. That means you need to learn how to spend it properly. To do that, create a budget. It’s probably going to be a small, uncomplicated budget because your parent or guardian is most likely covering all of your necessities like shelter payments, food, and clothing. So, think about how you like to spend your money and allot what you earn into those categories, even if your categories are apps, going to the movies, fast food after school. Practice only spending the money you’ve budgeted in each category each month. Believe me, the sooner you practice this, the easier it’ll be to live on a budget when you are an adult (and you’ll be able to avoid massive amounts of debt). And if your parents won’t teach you, use Google. I know you’re computer savvy. Put it to good use.
  2. Create a savings account. Having a savings account is a huge part of learning how to manage your money. Putting money away for a rainy day or travel or a big purchase is a great way of avoiding debt (and believe me when I say you don’t want to go into debt. While getting into debt can be a crapload of fun, getting out of debt is horrendous. It’s probably one of the least fun activities ever).  You can start small, by saving birthday money or parts of your allowance and then work up to putting away money from a job. Talk to your parent or guardian about opening a savings account; if they say no, use the piggy bank you got when you were 5. Just find a way to start saving.
  3. Deal with a car. Most teenagers dream of owning a car, especially if you live in the suburbs or a rural area with little to no public transportation available. However, most teenagers are not fortunate enough to have their parents buy a car outright. And, even if your parents cover the car payment, they might want you to pay for gas, insurance, and routine maintenance. That gets expensive. You are definitely going to need an income stream to foot the bill for this stuff (and work those expenses into your budget) but, if you are going to want a car as an adult, this is a great time to learn about all the responsibilities that come with owning one.  It might make you change your mind, or encourage you to downgrade your expectations.  (If you don’t have a car or won’t be getting a car, this is a great time to become proficient in arranging alternative types of transportation).
  4. Get a job. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a job in high school. It will teach you so many skills: independence, time management, organization, a work ethic, dealing with a boss and coworkers, and, finally, how to earn and manage a paycheck. The sooner you learn these skills, the sooner they become habit and the easier transition you have when you have a full-time job. Additionally, building a work history at a young age is a good thing that looks impressive to prospective employers and also, you can open a retirement fund and a savings account. That’s taking a huge step towards adulthood and demonstrating that you can be a responsible adult with your money.
  5. Be careful with borrowing and lending. Money is a tricky thing, especially when it comes to friends and family. There might come a point where you’re earning a good amount of money and you’ve become such an expert saver that people are coming to you asking for money. Think really, really hard before you say yes.  And if you do say yes, and you don’t get the money back, consider it a lesson in who you can and can’t trust. Also, don’t throw your money around just to make people like you. Because honestly, it’s not you they like. It’s those pretty little green pieces of paper you have in your wallet (and we can talk about credit cards another day). And remember that if you borrow money, pay it back. Don’t be the person your friends and family can’t trust.

Please don’t misunderstand. You can still have a good time with your money. That’s why you have a budget. To make sure that you are putting money away for a car or college (and yes, you can take out loans for those. We’ll talk about those when we talk about credit cards) but still being able to enjoy being a teenager. Because really, it’s all about balance. Learning to balance your necessities with your fun on the income you have is pretty much the key to managing your money. The earlier you learn this, the better off you’ll be.

I know this seems like just one more thing to worry about. But this is the real life stuff. You’re going to want to take the time to learn it.

Seriously.

Love,

Jana

Filed Under: Money, money tips

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A book reading, nail polish wearing, binge watching, music loving, dog owning, reluctant cheer mom.
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