Jana Says

Living life from cover to cover

A t-shirt, begging, and a lesson

by Jana 12 Comments

 

Last week I was at the dollar store buying some storage bins for my fabric (we'll talk about this when I summarize my spending freeze violations). While waiting on line, I couldn't help but stare at the back of a gentleman in front of me. This happened for two reasons: one, I am short, he was tall and that is where my eyes landed and two, his shirt read “strippers love my pole” (yeah, I laughed, too). I didn't notice what he purchased (which is odd for me because I am generally curious about what people buy at that store) but I did vividly remember his shirt. You don't forget something like that quickly.

After I left the dollar store, I ran a few more errands and then set about driving home. In order to get to my house from this particular shopping center, you need to turn at an intersection that is a prime target for beggars. It's probably this why due to the sheer volume of traffic that crosses through (it's the intersection for 2 major roads) and from what I have seen, these guys (always men. Never women at this location) make a good amount of money. I personally don't give money but I've seen numerous people do so. Which is fine. Not my place to judge what other people do with their money.

I think I am digressing here. Let's regroup and return to the story.

Alright, so I am at the intersection, waiting to turn and I see a man with a sign asking for money. Totally common occurrence. However, this time, the man was of particular interest because….it was the gentleman from the dollar store! And I knowing was him from that super classy t-shirt he was wearing. Apparently he was purchasing some poster board and markers to make his sign. Knowing that sent me down two roads of thought.

The first road was that of anger and annoyance. I mean, here's this guy, spending money he didn't earn on poster board and markers to beg for more money that he's not technically earning. So that annoyed me. Then the angry, rhetorical questions began: How can he have the endurance to stand on a corner and beg but he can't ask for an application at the store he just purchased his begging tools from (there was a “now hiring” sign on the door)? Why isn't he using any of the local services to help himself instead of begging on a corner? Is he in cahoots with the people who I saw begging a few miles up the road? And wouldn't that money have been better spent on some sort of food or drink?

For the record, I know those questions make me sound like a huge insensitive asshole. But I redeem myself now.

As I drove past the man, I let my anger settle down and starting thinking like the compassionate person I know I am. I told myself that maybe he can't read or has a felony or no way for a prospective employer to contact him and that's why he didn't fill out an application. I told myself that maybe he's desperate and embarrassed to be begging and he feels that he's left with no other option so I probably shouldn't shame him any more by thinking horrible thoughts about him. I told myself that maybe he doesn't know about the local services we have available. I told myself to let it go. And I did. I wished him well in his endeavors (in my head. I didn't go back to the intersection to say something) and I made a promise to stop being so judgmental in the future.

I am working on it.

As I was storing my fabric, I spent a few minutes thinking about what a dollar really can buy. And honestly, it's not much. Maybe a dollar menu item or a bag of chips or a bagel from the supermarket bakery. It can buy a local bus ticket, one way. It can buy something from Goodwill or a yard sale. Maybe. A dollar can buy a lottery ticket or wash a load of clothes or buy a piece of fruit or two. A dollar isn't life sustaining but it can help.

Because even with limited buying power, you can use your dollar purchase in a positive way. Buying a bus ticket to the mall or the library gives you a way to look for job. Using your quarters to wash your clothes gives you that confident feeling that comes with being clean. Eating something that is good for you gives you strength and energy to look for work or even make it through the day. And some people see buying a $1 lottery ticket as an investment and potential for large gains.

So maybe that's what this man saw the poster board and markers as. An investment in his survival for that day. And maybe the next time I see someone begging on that corner, I'll push that thought to the front of my mind instead of letting it hang out in the back. Because it's worth giving someone the benefit of the doubt than automatically assuming the worst.

 

20 inexpensive ways to be kinder

by Jana 19 Comments

Every morning, I walk my daughter to her classroom (her choice). When I dropped her off this morning, I overheard her teacher and another kindergarten teacher singing “Happy Birthday” to a child inside the classroom. My daughter is not the most forthcoming with information, so I just assumed it was a kid in her class. Wrong assumption. It was a first grader who had my daugher's teacher last year (this teacher is so fantastic. All the kids love her and former students visit her every morning). Why was my daughter's teacher singing? Well, it turns out, this kid's family forgot her birthday. And she was devastated. So Mrs. B (that's what we'll call her) took it upon herself to make the kid feel better. After all, she tells them that she's their school mom (we can talk about this another day) and that's what moms do.

And it worked because that kid walked out of Mrs. B's class smiling.

This little moment of kindness got me thinking. It really doesn't take much effort or money to be kind to someone. And, in light of recent current events, we need a little kindness right now. You never know how big a difference a small gesture can make. So, here's few things you can do to get your started:

  • Smile at a stranger.
  • Give a friend a hug.
  • Hold the door open for a mom and her kids.
  • Don't park in the handicapped spot just because it's closer (or the spot for people with infants).
  • Tell a cop or cashier or a teacher or anyone, really, that they're doing a good job.
  • Stop to help someone change a tire.
  • Put money in an expired parking meter.
  • Say “thank you”.
  • Say “I love you” to your spouse or significant other.
  • Text “happy birthday”.
  • Offer to feed your neighbor's cat when she goes out of town.
  • Give blood.
  • Volunteer to help at your child's school.
  • Lend a listening ear to someone having a bad day (you can also leave a supportive comment or Tweet to someone you know is having a tough time).
  • Call your grandmother.
  • Give a compliment.
  • Return your wagon to the return aisle rather than leave it in front of someone's car.
  • Let someone in front of you on the road.
  • Donate to a food bank or Goodwill or an animal shelter instead of throwing out that stuff you don't want.
  • Recycle.

It really doesn't take much to start being kind. And also, it's easier to be nice than to be an asshole (except for some people. But we can ignore them, knowing that their assholeyness is a character flaw on their part, not because of anything we did). And I much prefer to do what's easy. How about you?

 

Readers, what are some ways you express kindness in your everyday life?

 

An open letter to high school students about debt

by Jana 14 Comments

Dear High School Students,

dollar signIt’s me again. Jana, your friendly neighborhood personal finance blogger. I know you’re probably rolling your eyes at me (which is fine. I spent a good deal of my teenage years rolling my eyes at adults) but trust me, you’re going to want to pay attention to what I have to say. Because when I’m done, I will hopefully save you thousands of dollars as well of years of paying down debt (which is not fine. Paying down debt sucks more than first period math).

Remember how we talked about money skills you need to acquire and practice before you leave home to go to college? Those still stand and I still recommend them. But I also want to talk to you about a few things that will creep into your life and, if you’re not careful, can get very, very expensive. And not expensive in a good, iPad kind of way. No, this is expensive in a “I finally have a job and now all of my paycheck is going towards these things and I have no money left to do what I want so I’ll use credit cards again” kind of way.

What am I talking about? Alright, I’ll stop rambling and get to it:

Credit cards. Credit cards are a funny thing. People either love them or hate them; there’s very little indifference. For those who are in the love them camp, they feel that they are a great tool for using your money. For those that hate them, they feel that credit cards are evil and do nothing but cause debt. Here’s the thing: both sides are right. Credit cards do both. The difference is in how you choose to use them. If you get a credit card (and before you do so, talk to your parents or an adult you respect), read the terms of the offer very, very carefully. More specifically, scrutinize the interest rates, any yearly fees, late payment penalties, and how long it takes a payment to process. Also remember this: credit cards are not free money, although it may feel like it. If you use that card to pay for something, you will have to pay it back. If you don’t have a job or any way to pay it off, don’t get a card. Or, if you really feel like you need to have one in your wallet, get a very small limit and don’t use the damn thing. Using a credit card when you have no means to pay it back is a slippery slope that can cause more damage to your finances than you can imagine at this moment. Please trust me on that one.

Student loans. I will be the first to admit that I’m not the most appropriate person to give advice on this subject.  But I’m going to do it anyway. Really, I just caution against taking out more than you need. I know many students see their loans not only as tuition assistance but as a way to afford room and board and have living money (my husband did this. As did a number of our friends), and while that’s your choice, I don’t think it’s the smartest choice. Like credit cards, you’re going to have to pay most, if not all, of that money back and having a high total will have a significant impact on your finances later on. If you can, try to find ways to supplement your loans: get a part-time job on or off campus; try a community college first and then transfer to a 4 year school (my husband did this, too); look into scholarships and grants (if you live in one of these 15 states, check out the Southern Regional Education Board); or, if you need to, attend school part-time. If none of those are possible, make sure you have a fantastic repayment plan for your loans (and explore all possible options) and you know exactly what you are getting yourself into.

Car loans. After spending your college years driving either a piece of crap car or not having a car at all, you’re going to want to buy a car of your very own. And you’re going to want it to be new and fancy and shiny and impressive. There’s nothing inherently wrong with all of those wants. The problem is that they cost a shit load of money. And your paycheck might not be able to keep up with the payments and the insurance costs (and the maintenance costs. And gas. And anything else). You might also need a co-signer for the car if your income isn’t enough to afford the car you want (even if it’s not the most expensive car in the world. My little sister bought a Toyota and needed a co-signer because her income was low); if you default on those payments, it’ll fall back on your co-signer and that’s not fair. So please, I implore you to pick a practical, new-to-you car that’ll be easy to pay off and, when you’re driving that car into the ground, you can set aside money for your dream car. Oh, right. If your friends make fun of you for your car, get rid of them as friends. Real friends don’t give a shit what kind of car you drive.

So that’s what I have for your today. I promise not to lecture you any more on your finances. I think I’ve given you enough to think about and consider. Now, please understand I’m not forcing you to do anything I’m talking about. How you choose to approach your money is your business. But before you make some expensive choices, think about it carefully. Because there’s a lot of life to live after you graduate and you don’t want your money tied up in debt.

Love,

Jana

P.S. Readers, if you have any advice to give to high school students, please leave it in the comments. 

4 tips for handling setbacks

by Jana 9 Comments

 

Many of you know that I have begun my pioneer project. It's going…fine thus far. I've been mainly focused on two tasks: sewing and getting our garden started. The sewing is progressing nicely but the gardening is another story. Because, well, our plants are dead. Really, really dead.

We did everything we were supposed to do to get them prepped and ready for their containers (we have to container garden. HOA rules) and inside, they were kicking ass. Sprouting up all over the place. Nice and healthy. Anticipation ran amuk in my house with the bounty that we would produce. And then the plants got too big for their indoor greenhouse thingy, we transferred them to larger containers, left them outside in the sun, watered them every day and poof! They croaked. Now we have to start all over again. It's quite a setback in our gardening plans.

This has happened to us financially, too. Just when we thought we were getting on track, things happen. We needed 2 new cars in 6 months. Our HVAC system needed repair. The dog had to go to the emergency room. I stopped working full-time. Fortunately, this did not all happen at once but each time was a financial setback (thankfully we have an emergency fund but still, it does have to get paid back). Money back in to the EF meant money we couldn't use for something else like long-term savings or an extra payment on the husbsnd's student loans or contributing to the child's 529. Setbacks like this are maddening and frustrating.

Fortunately, setbacks can be handled with minimal damage to a relationship and a wallet. And they're not impossible to recover from:

  1. Identify the cause. In order to fix the problem, it's important to figure out potential causes. By identifying those, you can start coming up with a plan to prevent it from happening again. In the case of our garden, we either transferred the plants too early or didn't use the right kind of dirt (soil. Whatever). So, when we start again, we know to keep track of dates on a calendar and go to a gardening center to get help for selecting the appropriate dirt.
  2. Accept your role in the problem. For the most part, bad things just don't happen. Human error is involved either through mistakes, poor planning, or willfully ignoring a smaller problem that caused the larger one. Blaming others for your misfortune might make you feel better but it doesn't solve anything. Acknowledging what you've done makes it easier to adjust your behavior in the future. After our dog went to the ER last year, it was easy to blame him for eating the toys but really, we had to be better about supervising the child's clean up since we know Dobie is prone to this activity.
  3. Make a plan. And stick to it! When a setback happens, it's easy to throw our hands in the air (and wave 'em like you just don't care) and quit. It's easy to fall into the trap of self-pity and say “why does this always happen to me?” And if you have to wallow in that for a few days, go ahead. But then snap out of it and formulate a plan to get back on track. Write down tangible, concrete goals with a timeframe. When we had to buy my husband a new car, we had just entered the land of no car payments and we were seriously pissed off. And we allowed ourselves to be. But then we devised a budget, a car shopping plan and a schedule for paying off his car early. What a great day that was, too.
  4. Let it go. Once something bad happens, particularly when it comes to money, you have to let it go. Harping on the fact that it happened won't undo it; in fact, it'll just make the situation worse. I liken this to a baseball pitcher giving up a home run. None of them want to do that but it happens. But once the runner crosses home plate. It's done. Gone. Over. The next batter is a chance to start fresh and move on. Treat your setbacks the same way.

Setbacks happen to even the most careful, meticulous planners. You could have the most detailed, specific debt repayment plan ever created but one day, something might happen that throws all of it into a tailspin. And that sucks. But you can let one misfortune derail all of your hard work. Learn from the situation, readjust, regroup, and start over (even of it sucks). And remember to tell yourself that this setback is only temporary and eventually, you'll reach your goal.

Readers, how do you handle financial setbacks?

 

Inexpensive techniques for lifting a bad mood

by Jana 14 Comments

Ever feel really crappy to the point of not wanting to get off your couch, not wanting to talk to anyone, not wanting to shower or even wear clean clothes? Me, too. And it sucks. A lot. Especially when it's hard to explain why you feel so awful when, on the surface, it doesn't look like there's anything to feel bad about. But it happens and we have to live with it.

Moods like that are hard to break. Believe me, I've tried. And over the last year, I have worked hard developing techniques and ideas to prevent that from happening again. Since we have a one-income budget and money doesn't flow as freely as it once did, I've devised some free and inexpensive ways to snap my bad mood when they happen:

Browse Pinterest. I realize this can have the reverse effect, particularly if you spend time browsing all the perfect homes and crafts and fashions. So don't do that. Instead, browse the animals section for a dose of fuzzy cuteness (this is my personal favorite section) or the humor section for a good laugh or inspirational, uplifting quotes. Create a board of all of your favorite feel good pins so the next time you're feeling bad, you have them all in one place. Or make a collage of your favorites, print a copy and hang it around your house or desk at work or wherever you need it.

Exercise. When my depression was diagnosed, my therapist mandated that I exercise in conjunction with my therapy and meds. And I can tell you, when I exercise regularly, I feel so much better. If going to a gym is too expensive, look for free classes in your community or find cheap, one time fee drop in classes. Or get outside and walk in the park or your neighborhood. Or rent an exercise DVD from the library or use Pinterest or YouTube to find routines you can do at home. Even 15 minutes is enough to make a difference.

Create. There is just something therapeutic about creating something. Not only does it take your mind off of what's bothering you but it boosts your ego a bit when you've finished the project. You can sit back and say “hey, I made that” and honestly. it feels great to say that. Instant mood lifter. It doesn't matter if it's something as simple as coloring a rainbow or paint by numbers or as sophisticated as cooking a gourmet meal or composing a song. When you're feeling down, tune into your creativity and indulge it. It doesn't have to be fancy or expensive either. A pen and the back of an envelope are enough.

Rest. Sometimes the stress of daily life gets to be too overwhelming. There are chores and errands and work and family obligations and bills and so many other stressors that after awhile, it takes its toll on a person. With all the demands on our time, and the desire to do it all perfectly (is that just me?), it's no wonder we're all so anxious and depressed. If you're feeling like this, give yourself permission to rest. Take a day off. Let the laundry go another day. Eat cereal for dinner. Go to bed early. Say no to plans. Nothing cures a bad mood faster than a good day's (and night's) rest. And, as an added bonus, it's free!

Make a gratitude list. There is no better way to feel shitty about yourself and your life than to compare it to those whose lives you perceive as perfect. Yes, there are people who are richer and in better shape and have a nicer house and more money. But so what? That doesn't devalue your life, home, health or anything else. When you're feeling down, make a list of 10 things you are grateful for; it doesn't need to be a list of material things. Anything you are grateful for will do. When you're done, take a few moments to reflect on what you wrote down. It'll encourage you to feel better (even when you don't want to).

As someone who has to work hard at being happy and feeling good, I employ these techniques often (but within reason). They really do work, and the effects last longer than a day at the spa or shopping. Because while those provide momentary relief, when they're done, that's it. There's no more. And then there's the whole dealing with the amount of money spent which causes more stress and depression and kind of defeats the purpose.

Readers, what are some inexpensive activities you engage in to help lift your mood?

 

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