A few inspirational words to get you through the middle of the week:
Overwhelmed and eliminating it, day 5: At home
Home is a funny place. Home is where we’re supposed to go to escape from the stress of friends, work, and the outside world in general. But home can also be a place of stress and feeling overwhelmed if you’re not careful. That’s why it’s important to do what we can to eliminate it as much as possible when you’re inside the 4 walls of your home.
While it’s not possible to control everything that causes anxiety and overwhelmedness (I’m starting to think I need to petition to make this a word), it is possible to take some action:
Have a budget. This goes without saying. One of the biggest causes for being overwhelmed is money. Bills, savings, long term planning, day to day expenses—money is part of our day, every day, whether we like it or not. And there is just so much to do! However, trying to do it all at once is frustrating so I recommend, like almost every other personal finance writer that has ever existed, have a budget. Having a budget will eliminate a good deal of your sense of being overwhelmed. You won’t have to figure out how much to pay the credit card company or decided what you have for groceries or put off that necessary haircut or contribute to savings. You’ll already know because you put it all on paper. If you don’t know where to start, Dave Ramsey’s website has a great free tool to get you started.
Having a budget sounds like a lot of work and it is. But the outcome is worth the effort, and your stress level will thank you.
Create a meal plan. I was not blessed with the ability to look at raw ingredients and whip up a meal at a moment’s notice. I know this because, for a while, I tried. I would go to the supermarket, buy what I wanted, and hope that meals would come out of it. They did not. And I would get overwhelmed because I knew I had to feed my family but I couldn’t figure out what so I would maybe freak out a little, perhaps throw in a bit of yelling, and then declare I was not cooking and we needed to order in (like the dad in A Christmas Story. “Everybody, upstairs. Get dressed. We are going out to eat”). Needless to say, it wrecked our budget.
So I decided that I needed to meal plan. And while meal planning does help keep our grocery budget under control, it mainly gives me a sense of calm regarding what to make for dinner. I don’t get overwhelmed at the thought of having to cobble something together that would probably taste terrible and my freak outs are kept to a minimum. Everyone appreciates that.
Organize. We’ve already discussed why it’s important to get organized and methods to do so I’m not going to rehash that. However, I do want to add a bit. Getting organized at home makes everything run much more smoothly and it prevents those “everything is going crazy all at once and I need a break or I’m going to build a blanket cocoon and stay in there with my wine and only my dog is allowed to visit me” moments (although, admittedly, that does sound like a pretty good day). Having your home organized means you’ll get out the door on time. Having your home organized means you won’t have to buy a birthday present 20 minutes before the birthday party nor will you have to feverishly search for wrapping paper. Having your home organized means you get free time back because keys don’t get lost, backpacks aren’t misplaced, and bills are paid on time (you can also accomplish this by automating your bills, something I highly, highly recommend). Having your home organized means you can do activities as a family in peace instead of chaos (controlled chaos is okay. Actual chaos, not so much).
In fact, being organized is probably the best thing you can do for yourself. It doesn’t have to be a Pinterest worthy organizational system. It just has to be something that works for you and your family. (Note: lists are my go-to organizational tool. Actually, I love lists so much I have a whole post planned discussing how lists can keep you from feeling overwhelmed).
Whether you live in a household of 1 or 10, there’s opportunity to become overwhelmed. Stressors come with every circumstance and it’s important to find a way to combat that.
Readers, what do you do in your household to keep from feeling overwhelmed?
Overwhelmed and eliminating it, day 1: Setting goals
A few days ago, starting this series seemed like a good idea. After all, it’s been something I’ve wanted to do, I
know it’ll help some readers, and maybe it’ll be something I can turn into a short eBook, helping solve a little bit of my income problem. But when I sat down to start it, guess what happened? Yup. I got overwhelmed.
How’s that for a kick in the face?
I got overwhelmed mainly for two reasons: one, I had no clue what should be the correct order of tasks and two, thinking of how I am going to get it all done. In fact, these thoughts almost prompted me to shutter the series with a heartfelt apology before I even started. But then I stepped back, took a deep breath, allowed the anxiety to have it’s moment, and moved on.
If you’re facing a mountain of debt, you’ve probably experienced similar thoughts, particularly once you’ve listed all of your debt. You look at the total and think “holy shit! There is no way I am ever going to pay all of this off before I die. It’s impossible and I should just quit now. And where do I even start?!” Then you might yell, decide it’s not worth the effort, and curl into a ball and cry (or was that just me?).
But just like me quitting the series before it starts, crying, yelling, and ignoring the problem isn’t going to make it go away. I’d still want to write a series and you’ll still want to pay off your debt (or whatever huge hurdle you’re facing). So how do we get over feeling overwhelmed at the massiveness of the challenge we’re facing?
Well, to start, we need to set goals. It is virtually impossible to do anything without knowing what you want to accomplish. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, take out a piece of paper and pen, or whatever goal tracking app you like to use, and write down both short and long term goals. For instance, if you’re overwhelmed at how much debt to pay off, your goals can look like this:
Long term
- Be debt free
- Maximize my savings and retirement fund
- Travel
- Pay cash for my dream car
Short term
- Eliminate 2 debts within 6 months
- Start an emergency fund
- Open a retirement account
Seems pretty simple, right? It is. Because they’re your goals and they can be anything you want them to be. Just make sure you write them down and put them somewhere conspicuous (I hang mine on the bulletin board above my desk).
You are also going to want to list all the action steps you need to take to accomplish the goals. Those action steps are what you are going to focus on to get over feeling overwhelmed. Having a plan of attack, with specific, achievable, easy to complete tasks is actually very calming. You’ll know exactly what you need to do without having to think too much about it and, while the list might be long, you really just need accomplish one task at a time. Don’t look at every single one every day. Look at the one you can do right now and then do it. Maybe it’s making the initial deposit in a savings account. Maybe it’s paying an extra $10 to your student loan. Maybe it’s creating a Pinterest board of all the things you’d like to do once you have the money. Just do something small, something simple to get you started. You’ll find that doing one small thing and checking it off your list will make the entirety of what you have to do seem much less overwhelming. And it’ll also be much easier to do the next item. A momentum snowball, if you will.
The thing about goals is that they set the foundation for everything else you are going to do. Goals give you focus and direction and make a daunting situation seem that much less so. You will know what you are aiming for and you’ll have a sense of purpose as to why you’re doing it.
So let’s get started. If you’re feeling overwhelmed about something, what are some goals you can set to help manage that feeling? Leave them in the comments below if you want, share them on Facebook, or write them down for your own private use. Just get them out there!
Spending freeze: the summary
Approximately 6 weeks ago, I decided to do a spending freeze. I had noticed that my discretionary spending was getting a bit out of control and I needed a way to rein it back in. My friend Steph over at Life According to Steph was just getting started on her own spending freeze so it was just the push I needed to begin my own.
This wasn’t the first time I had done something like this; in fact, I think I’ve mentioned that for years I was part of a no spend/controlled spend challenge. My years doing that helped tremendously when my husband and I were paying off our consumer debt and I really made me focus on wants versus needs. It was time to revisit that, except with my “fun” money rather than my household income.
So how did I do?
Overall, I did pretty well. I didn’t track the amount of money I spent during my spending freeze (because I wasn’t perfect. I admit it. I reported many of my transgressions on Facebook) but I don’t believe it came to more than $75. In my defense, about half of that was for charity. I spent $20 on a registration fee for my YMCA’s Strong Kids Campaign Zumbathon and another $10 in raffle tickets during a Zumba master class (the money went to the Delaware Ronald McDonald House). In good news, I won a prize during the raffle and the value of the prize far exceeded what I donated (the Zumba pants alone are worth $65). Oh, and I gave $2 to my daughter’s school so she could participate in stuffed animal day. That money went to a fundraiser for a child in the school who’s doing a brain tumor awareness walkathon. So that was the good, selfless spending.
The bad spending came in the form of several iced teas from Dunkin Donuts, some sodas, one lunch out, a couple of bottles of nail polish, late fees at the library (this is a terrible, terrible problem that I have. I am getting better but it’s still really, really bad), and some fabric for my Townhouse Pioneer project (speaking of which, have you signed up for the newsletter yet? No? Well, why not? It’s free and it launches soon!). I can justify some of the spending but I’m not going to. I’m going to just say that when it comes to certain items I am weak, have no willpower, and probably need to add a line item to my budget for them. Or remove them altogether because I really don’t need to drink soda anyway and I need about 75 hands in order to wear all the nail polish I have. Also, I should probably stop being so damn lazy and just make more iced tea at home when we run out.
But wait! There’s good news. While I spent some money over the last 6 weeks that I didn’t need to or shouldn’t have, I did refrain on a number of occasions, particularly on my biggest budget busters. For instance, I added a number of books to my Amazon shopping cart but never actually bought them. I got a couple of new songs for my iPhone but I had an Amazon local coupon for 2 free songs so no money left my pocket. I bought nothing frivolous or unbudgeted for my daughter during the 6 weeks (or my dogs or cat. They get spoiled, too). I paid for zero new apps and did not get another pedicure. Those are all huge victories for me.
I also took complete advantage of the Redbox coupons I get every week. We have an entertainment budget but it tends to disappear quickly, mainly due to the fact that I’m horrible with remembering to use coupons. That substantially improved over these last 6 weeks and we even remembered to return a few of the movies within the 24 hour period before we get charged for another day. Small steps. Small steps.
The other thing I did that helped improve my spending was to clean out my part of our bedroom. I reorganized all my makeup and beauty products, evaluated my clothes and shoes, and sorted all my craft stuff. Being aware of what’s on hand made it so I didn’t waste money on duplicate items and talked me off the ledge when I wanted to buy something (ex., Jana, you really don’t need a third bottle of blue nail polish. Jana, there are 12 glue sticks in the house. Jana, you still have 4 tubes of lip balm. Stuff like that).
So what do I do now?
Now I take the habits and lessons I learned during the last 6 weeks and start applying them to my daily routine. I need to get better about saving my money since right now, I’m not earning any (we can talk about this another day. But it’s bad. Thankfully, my husband has a nice, steady secure job). I think what might also help is doing an envelope system for what’s left of my discretionary income. This is how we manage our household money and it’s made a huge difference. Maybe it’ll help with this as well.
What do you think?
Overwhelmed and eliminating it: The series
For a long time, I’ve wanted to do a month long series on DMS. I love the ones that Money Saving Mom, and several other bloggers, do. They’re informative, helpful, encourage action, and are engaging. But I didn’t want to do something like housecleaning or how to declutter or organizing your finances or renovating your grocery shopping habits. Those have already been done by Money Saving Mom and a number of other bloggers; I don’t want to reinvent the wheel. And those series are also really, really good. Probably better than what I could come up with (if you’re interested in those, I’ll be happy to point you in their direction).
So I decided to focus on something else. It’s more…feelings oriented but it’s a feeling that, if we’re not careful, can have a series impact on our finances. What am I talking about? I’m talking about feeling overwhelmed.
I once wrote a post about how I get overwhelmed and intimidated by other bloggers, specifically the fact that most of them seem more ambitious, dedicated, and creative than I. Many bloggers seem to have a number of successful ventures running at one time but meanwhile, I can’t even finish half a thought without getting sidetracked. While this has improved slightly since I wrote that last post, I still find myself getting overwhelmed with just how much there is to do.
I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who has a problem with this. So I figured we could work through it together.
The series will focus 21 tasks I’ve established to manage feeling overwhelmed with work, life, blogging (or whatever hobbies you have), and everything else that happens on a basis. Starting Friday 5/3 (spending freeze recap will be tomorrow), and throughout the month of May, we’ll discuss a problem that causes anxiety and feeling overwhelmed and actions we can take to fix the problem (and we’ll also talk about how it can affect your finances. This is a personal finance site after all!). We’ll further the discussion on Facebook so make sure to like Daily Money Shot and participate in those discussions. I’d love your input!
Here’s the master list of tasks we’ll discuss (note—while the list is not in order, the tasks will be written in such a way that you can build on each new task with the previous one):
- Get organized
- Tackle one task at a time
- Make a list and prioritize that list
- Take a break
- Do a social media detox
- Create a schedule
- Accept your weaknesses
- Play to your strengths
- Don’t compare your situation to others
- Ask for help
- Limit your obligations
- Take a day off
- Make time for yourself
- Minimize and/or simplify
- Automate your finances
- Keep one master calendar
- Eliminate things you don’t like
- Create a meal plan
- Do what works for you
- Set goals. Write them down.
- Realize that it’s okay not to be perfect
A quick reminder: I am not a mental health professional. This series is based entirely on my experience living with anxiety and a paralyzing sense of feeling overwhelmed. If you are experiencing severe anxiety, depression, or any other type of mental dis-ease (got this from Joe Pantoliano’s book Asylum. A great read, by the way), please seek professional help.
So, who’s ready to conquer the beast of overwhelmedness (is that a word? No? It is now).
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