Money Archives - Page 22 of 32

The day the kitchen floor melted

February 8, 2012 by Jana 27 Comments

My kitchen floor is tiled, DIY-style. Pretty impressive, right? It probably won’t be once you find out the reason why.

When we moved in, our kitchen floor was a lovely laminate. Not the nicest in the world, but certainly not the worst. For the amount of time we planned on being in the house (we’ll get into that another day), it was sufficient. Sturdy enough to handle our family’s traffic yet easy enough to clean. It was also neutral enough that we could pretty much choose any color paint for the walls. A few other cosmetic changes and our kitchen would be exactly what we wanted in our starter house. Simple and easy.

Until the day I melted the floor.

It was totally an accident and it happened in a fit of sheer stupidity. I was cooking dinner (salmon) in a pan on the stove. I turned away for a minute or so (fine, I forgot what I was doing and started on something else) and the next thing I knew, the salmon started to burn. Like really burn. And it stunk. And it was smoking. And I wanted it out of the house before the smoke detector went off and my dog had a coronary.

At this point, I had two choices. Choice one: throw the pan in the sink, fight with the window above the sink and let the smoke and smell dissipate that way. Choice two: put the pan on the deck. Which do you think I chose? That’s right. Not the first choice, which made sense. Nope, my dumb ass went for option 2. Almost.

Our deck, like most decks, is made of wood. In my panicked state I started to think “Ohmygod. If I put the pan on the deck, the deck will catch fire! I can’t put the pan on the deck!” So I didn’t. Instead, I opened the door to the deck (which is off our kitchen) and put the pan on the floor inside so the smoke and smell would blow out the door. Problem solved!

Not really. [Read more…]

Manage your money like a porn star

February 2, 2012 by Jana 33 Comments

A couple of nights ago on Twitter, I promised a very special post. This is that post.

There are a lot of financial books and experts out there. I have not written one of those books nor am I one of those experts. I am, however, someone who finds that financial expertise is all around us. Whether it’s from a repo man or from Roseanne, we can learn a lot about our money from what we see and read. It is with that introduction that I present…Daily Money Shot’s Porn Star Guide to Managing Your Money.

That’s right. Here in this comprehensive post are numerous tips, derived from porn stars about how to generate income and manage your finances. Who knew that porn stars could impart wisdom like:

Spend more on the things that enhance your life rather than hinder it

If you’ve seen one porn star, you’ve seen them all. And the one thing you’ll probably notice is that none of them look real. That’s because they know how to enhance their appearance in order to be more successful in their profession. They know that boob jobs and bleaching their hair (just to name the obvious) will cost a substantial amount of money but the payoff is worth it.

Porn star to real life translation—when calculating your budget, make sure that you’re spending more in categories that make you happy. If you like to travel or eat out (pun totally intended), then make sure that you allot more money in those categories.

Know your limitations

Porn stars know what they will and won’t do. I don’t know for sure, but I’m assuming that they discuss those limitations with their agents and directors prior to filming a movie. It’s not profitable for anyone for these men and women to join a movie only to find out later on that they won’t do that. If they are clear up front, everyone makes the most amount of money possible and no one is uncomfortable.

Porn star to real life translation—Have a budget. A budget sets your limitations for you. It tells how much money you have to spend and save, and it lets you know if there’s any wiggle room that month. If you’re in debt repayment mode, the limitations of a budget give you the freedom to say no to friends who are spendthrifts.

Diversify

My favorite morning show, Preston and Steve, often has porn stars as in-studio guests (yes, I know that Howard Stern did this first). The ladies will discuss strip club appearances, book signings, in-store appearances…pretty much any place you can think of that would be appropriate for a porn star to show up, they go to. They do performances and appearances as a way of making money. They know that they cannot solely rely on movies as an income stream so they seek out other ways to generate income.

Porn star to real life translation—Same principle, more clothes. Find ways to make more money in a multitude of ways. Whether it’s through a side business, part-time job, the stock market or stealing from your kid, it’s important that you have multiple ways of generating income.

Promote, promote, promote!

As previously stated, porn stars know how to diversify their income. In order to do that, they need to promote themselves as much as possible. It’s why they do those appearances and attend parties and events (and even make appearance on quality TV programming like Celebrity Rehab). By getting their names out there, they can generate that diverse income and be able to live in houses like these.

Porn star to real life translation—Whether you’re looking for a traditional job or aiming for self-employment, you have to let people know you’re available. Tell them what you can do, what special skills you have and what sets you apart from everyone else. Be your own agent. Negotiate what’s best for you. And get out there and sell yourself!

Protect yourself

From what I’ve seen, condoms are not exactly popular in porn movies. However, from what I understand, porn stars are required to have frequent STD and AIDS testing not only as a precaution for themselves but for those they work with. Protection is extremely important in this line of work because their livelihoods depend on them staying safe.

Porn star to real life translation—One word: insurance. I hate insurance as much as the next person and I’m not intending for this to be a debate on the pros and cons (or a commentary on why it sucks and is too expensive) but insurance is so important. Whether it’s medical, life, car, home/renter’s insurance, you need to have insurance as protection against anything bad happening. Will it cover the entire cost in a lot of cases? No. But it will make things easier.

When it comes to dealing with money, porn stars sure do know what they’re doing. We can all learn a lot from them. After all, just because you keep your clothes on at work doesn’t mean you can’t make the most of your money!

Maximizing time and money at Disney World

February 1, 2012 by Jana 10 Comments

On Monday, I talked about how the next time my family goes to Disney World, we’re going to make some tweaks to ensure that we stay on budget. Today, I’m going to talk about how to save time, money, and maximize your days in the park.

During our trip to Disney World, we were fortunate to go with some Disney experts. We have friends who live in Florida and go to the parks about 12 times a year. They also have a 5 year old girl, so they know how important it is to get through the parks, rides, and character meet and greets as efficiently as possible. They also showed us some inexpensive ways to keep the kids entertained at the park because the park is expensive enough. You don’t need to waste even more money when you can accomplish some of the same goals for free.

A few tricks:

Pixie dust. If you walk around the park, you will see little girls decked out in all kinds of princess regalia. Because for a mere $75,000 (fine, I’m exaggerating but it’s really expensive), you can get your child a princess makeover. I find this ridiculous. Instead, you can go into some of the stores, talk to a worker and that person will—for free—sprinkle your child’s head with “pixie dust” (really, it’s just glitter in a wand. But it works). Princess magic for no cost.
KidCot. For the younger kids, EPCOT is really not the greatest place. Let me amend that. For the younger kids, the countries part of EPCOT is not the greatest place. There aren’t many rides and learning about culture is lost on most kids younger than 7. Enter KidCot. In each of the countries, there is a station where kids can, for free, obtain a Duffy bear (Mickey Mouse’s bear). Really, it’s just a cut-out of the bear, stapled to a wooden stick but my kid thought it was the greatest thing ever. After receiving a bear at the first time, the kids take the bear from country to country, getting a stamp from an “ambassador” of the country and coloring in the bear. It’s a nice, free way to keep the kids entertained and engaged. Plus, it gives you a chance to rest your feet. [Read more…]

Disney World? Is expensive.

January 30, 2012 by Jana 43 Comments

No matter how hard you try, a vacation to Disney World will almost always cost you more than planned. How do I know? It just happened to me.

My husband and I decided a long time ago that when our daughter was 5, we would take her to Disney World for her birthday. We knew this was coming, so about a year prior, we started to save money for it. We wound up with a budget of $2500 and we did everything we could to stay within that budget. For instance, we stayed at an on-property hotel during the off-peak season. Doing this meant about a $25 or so per night savings and, because we were staying on the property, we had access to the Disney transportation system (which is fantastic, by the way). No rental car needed! There was even a free shuttle from the airport to the hotel…perfect! We booked a package deal (hotel and park passes) through the Disney website. I’m not sure that this saved us any money but it was nice to book it all in one place.

I also spent a ridiculous amount of time searching for the least expensive flights. Because we fly out of Philadelphia, the fares are pretty hit or miss. They’re either excellent or supremely craptastic. I was able to seize on a pretty good deal on Southwest about 3 months before we left (it was $600 roundtrip, nonstop for all 3 of us. Not amazing but really not bad). It was in our budget and, after we had purchased the hotel, flight and park passes, we knew exactly how much of that $2500 we had left. For the record, it was $480. [Read more…]

I am the neighborhood bitch. And I’m fine with it.

January 25, 2012 by Jana 30 Comments

Today, as I was walking my dogs around the neighborhood per our usual routine, I had a revelation. I am the neighborhood bitch.

It’s not a title I wear proudly. But it’s not exactly a title I’m ashamed of. After almost 8 years, my neighbors and neighborhood have given me numerous reasons to be bitchy. And most of them involve money. When people talk about the hidden cost of homeownership, they talk about maintenance, cleaning, repairs…things of that nature. Very rarely do they tell you how your neighbors can cost you money. And believe me, they can cost you money.

Here are just a few ways how my neighborhood, and my neighbors have (and can) cost me money:

Homeowner’s Association dues. Let’s not even discuss how much I hate my HOA. It’s poorly run, the president (or treasurer, I’m not sure what she is) is incredibly unpleasant (as is her husband) and they have no concept of how to manage money. This is mainly due to the fact that over half of the houses in the neighborhood never pay their dues. And by never, I mean never. There are people who’ve been living in their house just a few months less than us and have never, not once, paid their dues. This is typical. And the HOA does nothing except…wait for it…raise dues. Yup, that’s right. They raise the dues to milk money out of those homeowners who do pay (like me) in order to cover the deficit left by the other houses. And schmucks like us continue to pay because a) it’s the right thing to do and b) we want to sell our house so we need to be in good standing. So, thanks, neighbors for never paying and for costing me $375 a year. [Read more…]

The day the kitchen floor melted

Manage your money like a porn star

Maximizing time and money at Disney World

Disney World? Is expensive.

I am the neighborhood bitch. And I’m fine with it.

Connect with Me

Subscribe to Jana Says