Money Archives - Page 18 of 32

My No Spend May

May 2, 2012 by Jana 15 Comments

Most of you know that I am in the thick of a pretty severe bout of depression. Among the numerous side effects of this, for me, is spending money on nonsense. Mostly things like nail polish and books and $.99 iced teas from Dunkin Donuts; nothing that’s going to break the bank or drive my family into debt, but enough that I’m frittering away my spending money on nothing important (I should note here that I’m trying to save my money for FinCon12 and a few other events I have coming up). So I decided to do something about it.

I’ve implemented a no spend May.

No spend challenges are pretty common in the personal finance blogosphere. In fact, I spent about 4 years participating a no spend/controlled spend challenge and it worked wonders for me. I learned how to control my purchases, keep track of my money and learned the difference between a need and a want (in fact, more than once, I’d be in a store about to make a purchase and I could hear the voices of the other no spend ladies in my head asking “do you really need that”). But as my financial situation improved and I got more comfortable with controlling my spending, I started to get a little lazy. Compound that with the depression and I found my old habits starting to crop up. Which is making me feel even more out of control and that’s making the depression even worse. It’s a pretty vicious ride that I’m pretty desperate to get off of.

That’s why I’ve decided to re-up the no spend challenge for myself. It’s taking a small piece of my life that I can control and working with that. I’m hoping it’ll have a chain reaction effect, allowing me to regain control over other parts of my life as well. In order to achieve the desired effect, I have implemented a set of rules to keep me on track. Here they are:

It is acceptable to purchase things with my Amazon gift card or the credit in my iTunes account. This is not money coming out of my pocket (since they were gifts) and is intended to be spent on things I enjoy. I feel no guilt about using that money during this month (although I shouldn’t need to. I have about 18 books waiting to be read and I have no idea what music or apps to buy anymore).
Anything planned does not count against my no spend days. For instance, I scheduled a haircut last month for the end of this month. It is a planned, budgeted expense and although it’s not entirely necessary, I’m not counting it (this also applies to the pedicure I have budgeted). This also applies to my library fines.
This includes anything unplanned for my daughter. I have been buying her a lot of stuff lately, almost as a way to compensate for stuff I can’t buy for myself. She is a line item in our budget and for one month, I have to watch what I spend on her. She has enough stuff and what needs to be replaced has already been budgeted.
If there is a way to do something for free, I have to use that option. If I’m working at the library instead of at home, I’ll have to remember to pack lunch instead of going to one of the restaurants on Main Street (seriously, that’s the name of the road that our library is on). If I can watch something from Netflix or using our Groupon to Blockbuster Express, I have to do that first. And so on and so on for the entire month.
Stay away from places that cause me to overspend and only stick to my lists. Not only will this prevent me from going over budget but it will help me relearn to control myself in places like Target.

I know this seems like common sense, especially for a personal finance writer, but for me, it’s necessary. I feel like this is the first (well, technically, third) step in getting myself back together. I’ll let you know at the end of the month how I did (I don’t want to bore you with all the updates. Plus, I have lots of other good stuff planned to write about).

Wish me luck!

I want, I want, I want!

April 30, 2012 by Jana 14 Comments

I desperately, more than anything, want a third dog. I know. It’s insane and foolish and a terrible idea. Yet I can’t let it go.

I peruse Petfinder almost daily. I had to actively stop myself from downloading the app onto my phone. The other night, our neighbor’s dog got loose and, seeing as how the family didn’t go looking for him, I contemplating telling them that if they weren’t going to care for him, I would gladly take him off their hands. But I couldn’t do that to their kids (or could I?)

My husband knows that I want to add another furry member to our family. He supports it…eventually. He entertains my delusions of puppy grandeur, and recently, even agreed to go meet a dog I found at a local shelter (the dog was adopted before we had a chance to get there. Good for the dog. Sad for us). But he knows, more than I do, that right now is not the greatest time to add a third dog to our family. Although timing-wise it’s perfect, financially it’s a horrible choice. Here’s why:

Adoption fees. I have no interest in purchasing a dog from a store or a breeder. I prefer to adopt one from a shelter or rescue organization. However, even that comes with upfront fees, and some of those fees are really expensive (particularly from some of our local rescues). While we might have a few hundred undesignated dollars, spending it on adopting a dog is probably not the most prudent use of our money. It’s better served going into savings or keeping around for another dog emergency.
Regular expenses. A third dog means more food, another crate, additional vet appointments, grooming, preventative meds and all the other monthly expenses that go along with responsibly adding a dog to our family. With money being a little tighter than usual due to my leave, we’re having to make cuts. Adding in more expenses every month means cutting back even farther and quite frankly, we’ve made pretty much every cut we can.
We’re trying to move. Putting our house up for sale is a pretty daunting task. We’re just about done with all the repairs and cosmetic fixes and we even have our realtor lined up. And we really need to move. Bringing a new dog into the house means more chances for accidents and destruction of property like what happened to poor Crystal from Budgeting in the Fun Stuff. We cannot have that happen if we want to sell our house in the next year. Our wallets just can’t take having to spend that kind of money on home repairs.
Our house is just not big enough. My house is not small but it certainly isn’t big enough to accommodate 3 dogs and 3 humans. Just having the 2 dogs is a stretch sometimes. Also, if we added a third dog, we’d have to fence our backyard. Right now, with the 2, it’s not a big deal to put them on their leashes and take them for a walk. Adding a third to that mix would bring a chaos that I’m not sure I could handle on my own (or my husband could handle on his own).

We’ve thought about fostering like my friend Erin. Financially it’s a smarter choice but emotionally, I couldn’t do it. The thought of bringing a dog into my family, socializing him with my dogs (and cat), getting him (or her) used to us and then having to let him go is more than I can take. I have so much respect for people who are strong enough to do that. If I fostered a dog, he’d be mine. Case closed.

I know that one day (hopefully sooner than later), I’ll have another dog. Although it’s hard to remind myself that now is not the right time, I know that it’s not. I have to keep telling myself that this is the most practical, responsible, adult thing I can do for me and my family.

But you know what? Being a grown-up sucks sometimes.

Wedding Week: The Rings

April 27, 2012 by Jana 3 Comments

I picked out my own ring. Well, sort of. I picked out the setting. The husband picked out the stone. It was the only compromise we could come up with.

He wanted to pick out the ring in its entirety. I vehemently refused on the grounds that he has the worst tasted in jewelry of any human being ever. I’m not kidding. When we went ring shopping months before we got engaged, every ring he picked up was horrifying; I secretly think that designers were either high or asleep when they designed those settings. Anyway, I refused to wear them which he couldn’t understand. He would say “But you should love it because I gave it to you”. I would say “They’re horrible and I’m the one who has to look at it every day for the rest of my life”. His reply “I guess you have a point but still…I’m giving it to you”. Me? “But it’s ugly and I’ll never put it on”. Him? “Fine.”

Fortunately for him, the setting I fell in love with was relatively inexpensive, especially for a platinum setting. It was actually the first one that I saw and although we kept shopping, I kept comparing every other setting to that one. I loved that it was not showy and had sapphires in the setting as well as the fact that it had a matching wedding band. I also liked that there was not a single ring that looked like it in any store we browsed in. And we went to A LOT of stores (including several that pretended like we didn’t exist. That was fun).

I also had rules for the stone. I didn’t want one that was too large for a lot of reasons, not the least of which was cost. Since he was in grad school, I knew he didn’t have a lot of money to spend and I didn’t want to be the reason that he went further into debt. Had I known that he was going to take out a loan to pay for my ring, I probably would have relaxed that particular rule.

I think it goes without saying that I was pretty pissed when I found out he took out a loan to pay for my ring. He tried to hide it from me for quite a while but there was just something that made me ask. Probably one of those discussions where we talked about money because I wanted him to understand that if we were going to be married we couldn’t have financial secrets and he wanted to run out of the room (my husband and I used to fight about money all the time. The fact that now we don’t is nothing short of a miracle). I think I was pissed mainly for two reasons: one, he took on more debt and two, he tried to hide it from me. I understand that he didn’t want me to know how he paid for my ring but really? A loan? That I was going to have to help pay back because he was making almost no money and we were living on my salary as a social worker at a nonprofit?

Paying for your own ring really isn’t romantic at all.

Now, that’s not to say that I don’t love my rings and appreciate that he did the best he could. I just wished he had talked to me more openly about the finances behind it beforehand.

For those who are wondering, I paid for his wedding ring in cash. I had to save the money over 4 or 5 paychecks but I paid cash. No credit, no loans, no financing. Just cash. Granted, his ring was a lot less expensive but it still didn’t come easy to save that money. And I felt so proud of myself when I walked into the store, plunked down the money and walked out with a fully paid for ring.

Looking back, there is a lot I would have done differently when it came to my wedding and even parts of my engagement. But since I can’t change it, I can only ask that you learn from my mistakes (which, for reasons that I can’t discuss, I can’t talk about here. I really wish I could. Maybe I’ll guest post somewhere and discuss it then…). For those of you currently planning weddings, I suggest focusing on spending your money on the things that are really important and scrimping or going frugal on the things that aren’t. Don’t take out loans. Don’t use credit if you can avoid it. Don’t allow other people’s opinions to influence your decisions (this may be unavoidable, particularly if those people are paying for the wedding). And if you want to do something nontraditional, do it. It’s your wedding.

Wedding Week: The Honeymoon

April 26, 2012 by Jana 9 Comments

My husband and I aren’t exactly good with timing. It’s perhaps why our daughter was born in December, we bought our house on the upswing of the bubble and why we got married exactly one month before he finished grad school. Yup. That’s right. One month. In fact, he was working on his thesis the morning of our wedding. How’s that for romantic?

Anyway, because he was in grad school and I was a social worker at a nonprofit, we didn’t exactly have a ton of money for a honeymoon. It was important to us that we had one and, given the circumstances of not knowing where we were going to be living after he graduated, we decided (fine. I decided) that we were going on the honeymoon after the wedding rather than postponing it. The problem was affording it.

We explored dozens of options, domestic, international, and tropical island. Due to the time of year and the fact that we could only afford a 5 day trip, most places were eliminated almost immediately. Then we looked at flight prices and even more places were eliminated. We were left with a few options and ultimately, we decided on going to the Bahamas. But the cost was still a bit daunting. However, in one of our smarter moments, we agreed that we were not putting the honeymoon on a credit card. To do that we did the following (and please be advised, I don’t necessarily recommend any of this. It’s just what we did):

Convinced my father to donate some of his airline miles to us to add to mine in order for us to get a free ticket. We still had to pay for one ticket but this greatly helped decrease the ticket cost.
Went to an all-inclusive resort. It cost a little more upfront but reduced the overall cost. Especially when you factor in not having to pay extra for food, tips or anything else that chips away at your vacation budget.
Used some of the cash we got for engagement presents to pay for the trip. Yes, we should have saved it for…whatever, but this just seemed like the perfect thing to spend the money on. Besides, it was gift money. And we needed it (insert loose definition of “need”).
Had a set cash budget for extra activities, like a cab ride and money to gamble with at The Atlantis. We knew we weren’t going to be able to have a lot of cash for extras but we wanted to have some. So we put aside a specific amount for each day and if we didn’t use it, we rolled it into the next. It’s how we each had gambling money (which I turned into a profit and then, because of my husband’s bad advice, lost in its entirety. Never. Again.).

If I knew then what I know now, I would have done things completely differently. But I don’t think it turned out so badly. I mean, it was 5 days in The Bahamas! Who can complain about that? Plus, we incurred no debt for it. Which, for two people living on less than $40K, isn’t too shabby.

Did you employ any creative money saving techniques for your honeymoon?

My dog ate toys. I paid. Literally.

April 9, 2012 by Jana 21 Comments

You might have noticed some deficiencies in my posting schedule last week. There were a couple of reasons for that. For starters, due to some events in my personal life, my depression and anxiety ramped up big time rendering me unable to do anything except cry. Forming coherent thoughts and writing them down became as impossible as me playing in the NBA. It was at that point I was left kicking myself for not having a queue of posts that can serve as a sort of blog emergency fund for times like that (which, sadly, are becoming more and more common). Needless to say, that didn’t help the depression. Or anxiety. Or crying.

Then Thursday happened.

I’ve mentioned before that I have two dogs. What I don’t think I’ve mentioned is that one of my dogs, Dobie, has an affinity for eating everything. And when I say everything, I mean everything. His most recent obsession is my daughter’s toys. Especially Barbie’s shoes and purses (and that bitch has a lot). Despite the fact that we try clean up every tiny little piece, it is inevitable that we miss one or two. But Dobie? Does not.

That dog is able to find even the tiniest toy that was left out of the storage boxes. I don’t know how he does it but I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve found that dog chewing on a boot or a purse or even a head (or foot or arm. One time, he ate a plastic table). We’re typically able to wrestle the toy away from him before he does anything bad and, even if he does consume a bit of a toy, it’s been nothing to worry about.

Until Thursday.

[Read more…]

My No Spend May

I want, I want, I want!

Wedding Week: The Rings

Wedding Week: The Honeymoon

My dog ate toys. I paid. Literally.

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