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What I’ve gained from paying off debt

May 30, 2012 by Jana 12 Comments

There have been several times in my life when I’ve leaped into the unknown, only half sure of what I was doing but completely sure it was the right thing. The first time was in 1995 when I left my hometown for college at the University of Delaware. The second time was in 2004 when I got married. The third time was in 2006 when I found out I was pregnant. The fifth time is now amidst some pretty big decisions I’m mulling over and decisions I can’t quite mention yet.

The fourth time, though? That was in 2007 when my husband and I got serious about paying off our debt. I’ve discussed ad nauseam the reasons why we decided to pay down our sickening amount of debt and I’ve talked about what we’re thinking about doing next. However, what I don’t think I’ve discussed are the benefits we’re reaping from the fact that our debt (with the exception of his student loans and our mortgage; I don’t count his loans as my debt since a) he came into the relationship with that debt and b) my name isn’t on it) is gone. So perhaps it’s time to talk about that. So let’s do that.

Although it took 5 years, we did it. We paid off our jointly accumulated debt, including the extra $17K we incurred in 2010 when we had to buy my husband a new car. Overall, we paid off just under $70K in 5 years. Not too shabby. And when I made that final debt payment, I felt like Andre the Giant was lifted off my shoulders. I know that I walked a bit taller that day. However, along with the relief of no more debt, there are some other benefits including:

  • The lack of stress over money. Although we don’t fight about money, when we were paying down debt, there was a tremendous amount of stress. We would stress about how much to put towards a specific debt and then stress that we weren’t doing enough for the others (we followed the DR snowball method, although not quite perfectly). We stressed that the date for the final payment seemed so far off and that we never felt like it would come. We stressed that something bad would happen, and that bad event (whatever it was) would derail us from our very well constructed debt repayment plan. The list of stressors on our money was extensive and exhausting. But now that we don’t have those payments, those stressors are lifted. It’s nice to get paid, make the necessary utility payments, withdraw cash for the other expensive and then just breathe.
  • Having choices. Now that we don’t have money allocated to debt repayment, we’ve been able to readjust our budget to include more funds in areas that were sorely lacking. We can have a little more fun with our money (within reason, of course) as well as know that  if certain things happen, we’ll be okay (I’m sorry to be vague but I promise all will be revealed at some point). It’s a fabulous feeling to be able to control your money instead of having it control you. Which is what happens when all of your extra money is being spent on unnecessary debt.
  • Being able to help and support others. A very dear friend of mine is just beginning her debt payoff journey. She and her husband are in exactly the same position that my husband and I were in 5 years, and I know how hard this is on them. It’s a huge lifestyle adjustment to go from frivolously spending on credit and worrying about making payments every month to carefully watching every nickel that flows through the checkbook. But the fact that we’ve been there means that we can support them and encourage them and mentor them in ways that we didn’t have. DR talks a lot about giving back financially; I think giving back in this capacity is even more important.
  • Learning from the past. Five years of paying off debt isn’t something you quickly forget. It’s kind of like labor–it’s painful, it’s exhausting, it takes forever (if you’re me) and although time does lessen the severity, it’s not something you ever forget (anyone who says that she doesn’t remember the pain of labor is a damn liar). But you learn from it. You know what to do differently the next time. In the case of debt, you make sure to remember the causes of that pain and then you don’t do that. Although we’re stronger people because of it, my husband and I never care to relive the last 5 years, financially speaking.

It’s true that debt freedom is priceless. I can’t wait for the day my husband’s loans are gone and our house it paid off. But for now, I’ll settle with having no consumer debt. Like Cookie Monster singing the praises of the letter C, it’s good enough for me.

Readers, what have you gained from paying off your debt? 

 

 

Filed Under: beginnings, Money, Money Motivation, opinions

Letting go of guilt

May 18, 2012 by Jana 19 Comments

One emotion I am excellent at showing is guilt. I feel guilty all the time. If I’m watching TV, I feel guilty that I’m not cleaning my house. If I’m cleaning my house, I feel guilty that I’m not working on my book. If I’m working on my book, I feel guilty that I’m not working on the blog. If I’m spending time with my daughter, I feel guilty that I’m ignoring the dogs. If I suggest doing something that I want to do, I feel guilty that I’m not taking anyone else’s feelings into consideration.  And on and on and on. It’s kind of disgusting, actually.

But the more I think about it, the more I realize guilt is kind of a wasted emotion. It’s paralyzing, it’s not productive, it’s not helpful and quite frankly, it causes a lot of my anxiety. There is nothing about guilt that makes me feel good (except maybe the guilt caused by eating a cupcake that makes me go to the gym. Then again, should I really feel guilty that I ate a cupcake?). As such, I’m working on eliminating this extreme guilt from my life. The first thing to go? Financial guilt.

For way too many years, I’ve felt guilty about so many aspects of my financial life. I don’t give myself permission to be proud of what I’ve done; instead, I feel guilty and berate myself for things I didn’t do. I don’t allow myself to feel okay with spending money on myself; instead, I tell myself that I’m taking money away from my family for frivolous things. But no more! From now on, I absolve myself from feeling guilt for the following things:

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Money Motivation, opinions, random

Exercise your finances (or something like that)

May 16, 2012 by Jana 35 Comments

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Not my legs. Or my feet. And for the record, those shoes are creepy.

As part of my non-medicated therapy, I’ve been required to start exercising. Apparently there’s some link between depression and exercise (and sleep, which is essential and I definitely don’t get enough of that either) and my therapist ordered me to start exercising. Fortunately, we have a membership to the YMCA that I can use to fulfill this order.

When I first started exercising, I was using the cardio equipment exclusively. It was easy and a great way to get back into the routine of sweating on purpose.  There were no combinations to remember, no other people around (well, except the other people on the equipment), no instructor. Just me, the elliptical machine, my iPod and my sweat. It was blissful. Until I got bored.

There are only so many days in a row you can use the elliptical machine without wanting to tear your hair out. It was making me remember why I gave up exercising in the first place (oh, right. And I’m kind of lazy, too). Then it dawned on me that the Y also has group exercise classes, which, up until 3 weeks ago, I’d actively avoided for a number of reasons. The main reason? I was completely and utterly embarrassed.

I was embarrassed because I have absolutely no coordination. At all. I routinely walk into walls and fall down stairs and drop things for no good reason. I spill food on my clothes every day and if a day goes by that I don’t trip over my own giant feet, it’s a good day. I can’t dance, am not flexible and sometimes, right and left confuse me. I am absolutely the last person you want to stand next to in an exercise class (or near on a flight of stairs or in a hallway, but I digress). Then I had another revelation.

I didn’t care.

Although I experienced a tremendous amount of trepidation the day I stepped foot in my first class, I reminded myself that I was not going to attend those classes to impress anyone. I was going to those classes because I wanted to exercise in a manner that was fun and didn’t make me feel like I was on a hamster wheel. Attending those classes was intended to make me feel good about myself, and if other people were better than me, so what? Most of them have been doing it a lot longer and, at one point, they were just like me. A complete noob. A bumbling, uncoordinated buffoon just trying to make it to the end of class without passing out. But as time went on and they went to more and more classes, they became better.

And I’m 98% sure that they don’t care what I look like doing the routines.  Because they’re focused on themselves, making sure they get the most out of the class and they don’t have the time or energy to worry about me.

I think we need to apply this attitude to our finances. No matter where we are in our financial journey, there will always be someone who’s ahead of us. There’s always going to be someone we’re looking at and thinking “Wow, if I only had her income (or his savings account or their house or whatever), I’d be set”.  But most times, what we fail to look at is the hard work it took to get there. Almost no one becomes financially successful without starting at zero and putting in the hard work. They all had to start somewhere, and for most of them, the decision to be in control of their finance is that somewhere. There’s no reason you can’t make that decision, too.

To those who are paying off debt, please know this.  Anyone who begins a debt repayment journey walks into the metaphorical room feeling like a lumbering oaf. We all think that everyone is staring at us, judging us, making fun of us.  I can assure you that they’re not. They’re most likely looking at you with admiration for trying to gain control of your situation. And for a lot of them, they’re remembering how it felt to be in your sneakers.  But don’t let your fear of what others may think prevent you from doing it.

Because even if you fall flat on your face, you’ve tried. And then you get back up and keep trying.  And rest assured, no matter how awkward you think you look, you look better than I do when I’m at Zumba.

Trust me on that one.

 

Filed Under: Money Motivation, opinions, random

The biggest financial mistake I’ve ever made

May 7, 2012 by Jana 11 Comments

I readily admit that I’ve made a substantial amount of financial mistakes. In fact, if I didn’t, I probably wouldn’t have much to write about. But there’s one mistake I’ve made that I’ve never shared with you.    I’m not sure why I never shared it before (that’s a lie. I completely know why. It’s because I’m ashamed).

What’s interesting about this mistake is that it’s not something I did; rather, it’s something I didn’t do. And by not doing this, I caused myself years of debt repayment and minimal choices instead of saving my money and having options.

So what did I do? I didn’t listen to stellar and practical financial advice when it was put in front of me. For free.

My first job out of grad school was with the federal government, working in the Philadelphia region. In our office was a trained statistician who was extremely friendly and very nice. He and I would spend lots of time talking, particularly about money. He was a few years older than I, owned a house, and really seemed to have his finances in order. He would talk to me about the importance of paying off debt, saving for retirement, and would often share strategies than he and his wife used to manage their money. He even went so far as to create amortization spreadsheets for me for my credit card debt! (I told you, he was very nice.)

Here are some other tips he shared with me:

  • Have a budget. He advocated that knowing where your money is going is the first step to having a handle on your finances. He told me that he and his wife had a pretty strict budget but there was always wiggle room for fun and extras. 
  • Once a month cooking. He would tell me how he and his wife would take one Sunday a month and prepare most of their meals. They would cook chicken and hamburger and casseroles…all kinds of different foods. They would freeze them in portions for dinner and lunches. Not only did he share how this saved them money but time as well.
  • Having a 15 year mortgage. He and his wife owned their home on a 15 year mortgage and made extra payments every month in order to pay the house off even quicker. He showed me an amortization spreadsheet (he really liked these) to illustrate how much interest they were saving in the long run.
  • Pay off your cars. My co-worker was a big advocate of buying used cars, taking care of them as much as possible and then driving them into the ground. I agreed with him because at this point, I didn’t have a car payment. However, I wanted to buy one and he discouraged me from doing so until my credit card debt was paid off. He did share that if I did buy one, I should purchase a used one and do whatever I could to pay it off quickly. He then told me how much money I would save per month without a car payment.
  • Don’t use the credit cards at all. He suggested that I pay with cash because it controls your spending and there’s no interest. He made the point that when you pay for something in cash, the payment is done. It doesn’t crop up on your later in the month. He did say that if I have to use a credit card, pay it off in full. 
At the time he was giving me this information, I would listen politely, but in my head I scoffed at the information. I couldn’t, for the life of me, understand why he was telling me all of this. I had a hard time believing he was only 27 because he sounded like an old man. And, in what’s probably not very shocking, I dismissed the majority of what he told me. Why? I just wasn’t ready to hear it. I thought that I knew exactly what I was doing and the way this guy was living was boring.
But I was wrong. Completely and utterly wrong. I should have listened to what he told me and followed his advice as closely as possible. Had I done that, I would have spent the last 5 years saving money and being comfortable with some choices I want to make rather than paying off ridiculous amounts of debt and working in jobs that I hate just for a paycheck. I would have had the freedom to have the life I want.
Years later I found out that he and his wife were certified leaders of Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University. Finding that out made so much click in my head, particularly with what he was sharing with me at the time we worked together. I totally got it.
So let this be a lesson. If the guy at work is preaching to you about ways to manage your money, listen. He probably knows what he’s talking about. And it will literally save you in the long run.

Filed Under: budget, Confessions, Money, Money Motivation

Money Tune Tuesday: Riptide

April 3, 2012 by Jana 3 Comments

Money Tune Tuesday took a little vacation in order to bring you my posts about Southland. Now, for it’s triumphant return, I bring you a guest post from my awesome friend and musical twin, Travis. 

I’ve been a fan of Jana’s Money Tune Tuesday since….well pretty much since she started this blog.  Jana and I have similar taste in music, so I always look forward to see what song she’s going to pick next.  Like Jana, I often find motivation and meaning in music.  The songs I enjoy the most are those that I identify with and can apply my interpretation of the lyrics to my own life.

For readers who are not familiar with my story, my wife and I are enrolled in a Debt Management Program (DMP) and are a little over half way through a 5 year program to eliminate our credit card debt.  Over the course of the 33 months that we’ve been in the program, I have explained countless times what a DMP is, defended it against people who claim programs “like that” are scams, and discussed several times why in my situation it was the right choice over declaring bankruptcy.

Recently, I was switching up the play list on my iPod, reloading it with songs I hadn’t listened to for awhile.  One of the songs that I loaded was “Riptide” by Sick Puppies (Jana’s note: Another Sick Puppies song, “Maybe”, essentially changed my life. More on that next week).

When I first heard this song about a year ago, it really hit home.  Due to some of the discussions I had been having, doubt had begun to form as to whether we had chosen the best option to effectively get back on our feet financially.  This song gave me the strength to  re-assess our choice, and have confidence in the educated decision my wife and I had made.  The people that were questioning our choice are not living in my house, looking at my bills, or supporting my kids.   No matter what things may look like from the outside, or what other people may say, they don’t know the specifics of my every day life. I know best what is right for my family financially, and  I  am confident  that we chose the correct path to eliminate our credit card debt.

“Riptide” is a hard rock song, however I found this awesome unplugged version that I would like to share instead.  Check out the video, and take a moment to think about any decisions you’ve made recently that you may be doubting due to the opinions of people that just aren’t informed.

 

Travis is a contributing writer to the My Journey Out of Debt blog in the CareOne Community, and can also be found every other Thursday at Enemy of Debt  as well as his own blog, Our Journey To Zero.  He shares his family’s experiences, struggles and successes as they fight their way out of debt. As a father and husband he provides a unique perspective on balancing debt, finances, and family.

 

Filed Under: bloggers, entertainment, Guest posts, Money Motivation, Money Tune Tuesday

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Jana

I'm Jana ...

A book reading, nail polish wearing, binge watching, music loving, dog owning, reluctant cheer mom.
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