Money Motivation Archives

The quick fix won’t solve the problem. You will.

July 5, 2013 by Jana 10 Comments

A few days ago, I was talking to a friend of mine. She mentioned that she had seen an advertisement or something on Facebook for a product that can help you lose a whole lot of weight ridiculously quick. She seemed intrigued. I wasn't interested. The product seemed like a) a scam and b) nothing but a quick fix. And I am not a fan of the quick fix. I prefer to do things the hard way, working towards a goal through effort and committment, relishing in both victories and setbacks. Also because maybe I hate myself a little.

Because when it all comes down to it, a quick fix doesn't change behavior. And if you don't change the behavior, you'll be right back in the same situation after the fix is gone. And that is not something that appeals to me.

Let's look at this situation as an example: a single 30 year old woman with no dependents–just a dog–finds herself in over $10K of credit card debt because maybe she has a crazy shopping addiction that's so bad she can't even remember buying half of what she has. Stressed about money, she tells her mom that she's deep in debt (with this as her only debt) and the mother, rather than sympathizing or pointing her adult child in the direction of resources to get herself back on track pays. Off. The. Entire. Amount.

What do you think happened next? Yup. The woman wound up back in credit card debt. Because she didn't have to change any habits or learn new behaviors that would prevent it from happening again. The problem just went away with a quick fix. There was no opportunity for her to learn…well, anything. And given her personal situation, it would have been the perfect time for her to learn to budget. Or not shop as a sport. Or pay attention to the price of things. Or how to cook and bring lunch from home instead of ordering in from expensive NYC take-out places. Or adjust any number of the dozens of bad financial habits that put her in credit card debt. Twice.

The hardest part about watching this unfold is that she tuned out most practical advice. Until she met her now-husband and they went through some horrible financial situations together. That shocked her into reality and she realized no rapid solution could turn it around. Just good old fashioned dedication and work. And although she still shops for sport, she's way more conscious of what, when, and how much she spends (because her husband took away her credit cards so she's learning to pay with cash. Major behavioral change there). Also she downsized many of her things. Which is another huge step and major behavioral victory.

As a result, she's out of debt again which is awesome and I am so proud of her. I'm confident it won't happen a third time because working through her debt repayment the second time took actual dedication and effort. She made necessary habitual changes. She remembers how much it sucked to pay it off. She learned the necessary lessons that the quick fix couldn't teach her.

This story is just one in a sea of stories explaining why a quick fix almost never works. Not only do they leave you looking for the next one and send you into a very dark cycle, but in order to affect change in the long run, you have to put in effort. Make changes. Learn new habits and ways of thinking. Adjust behaviors. Realize that the work is worth it because while the quick fix solves the problem temporarily, it doesn't make it go away.

And I don't know about you, but I'd like my problems to go away permanently. Not just for a weekend.

Succeed like a 6 year old

June 10, 2013 by Jana 7 Comments

A few weeks ago, I wrote a handy guide of tips for sucking at life. I hope you bookmarked it, shared it, or gave it to a friend with a dream. A lifelong dream that, with hard work, time, and effort, is entirely possible to achieve. A lifelong dream that instead of flourishing, rots because she insists on doing nothing but sit on her couch, spending hours watching TV or browsing Facebook, making excuses for why she simply cannot do any of the work required to reach her goal. A lifelong dream that’s dies because she’d rather wallow in unhappiness and misery and the sense of feeling unfulfilled than spend even 30 minutes per week working on her dream.

I wrote that guide for people like your friend because I wanted her to realize that it’s not the world’s fault she hasn’t succeeded. I wanted her to know it’s her fault. But then I realized that pointing out her shortcomings, while somewhat helpful, is only half the story. People like your friend need the other half; they need to know what rules to follow to be successful. So I decided to help them out once again (because I’m nice like that).

This time, I’ve compiled a list of steps/rules/whatever that will point them in the right direction. Things that are so simple even my 6 year old knows them.

June challenge: Use that sh&t up

June 4, 2013 by Jana 19 Comments

If you guessed from my spending freeze experiment that I like a good challenge, you’re right. I like to see what I can do when I really focus and try. I also think that challenges are good ways to work on changing bad habits, whether you’re looking to stop smoking, start exercising, reduce your weekly alcohol consumption, or eliminate frivolous, unnecessary spending.

It’s this last one we’re going to focus on for this special June challenge.

One thing I’ve learned is that I might have a problem buying things I think I need without actually checking to see if, in fact, I really need them. I’m not talking about conscious stockpiling. I’m talking about thinking I need lip balm every time I go shopping and wind up with 10 different types of it (note: I have a moderate addiction to lip balm. Even when I know I have enough, I still buy more if I think I’ll like the flavor, scent, or consistency. And, for the record, Bonne Belle Dr. Pepper has the best of all 3). Here’s just what I found in my room. I didn’t even look in my purse or include lipstick or my fancy lip gloss:

Some people do this with craft supplies or nail polish or food or clothes or kids’ toys or hair accessories or golf tees…you get the point. There’s a lot of unnecessary spending and accumulation going on.

But I don’t want you to fall into this trap. Or, if you’re in it, I want to help you out. To make that happen, here’s what I’d like you to do. Please:

Go through your house, focusing on the items that you believe you spend too much unnecessary money purchasing. Note exactly how many of said items you have. Based on that amount, ask yourself if you need to buy any more that item this month (Not want. Need.) If the answer is no, commit to not spending any money on just that thing for the entire month of June. Then, when you come back from shopping trip having not spent money on that item, put the money in a savings jar (envelope, piggy bank, shoe, coffee can under your porch…whatever you’d like). At the end of the month, add up how much money you’ve saved just by using what’s already in your house.

Then, treat yo’self (financially, of course). It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, either. Use the saved money to make an extra payment on your debt. Or contribute it to a savings account. Or start an emergency fund. Or use it as another step towards achieving any financial goal you might have. Just put it towards something productive and positive.

This is not a spending freeze. It’s simply a challenge to use what’s already in your house. You’ll be amazed at how much money you can save when you just use that shit up. Because I don’t care how much money you have, there’s no need to keep wasting money on a collection of products that’s so vast you’ll never get around to using all of them before they expire.

Are you in? I hope so!

P.S.I’ll be talking about the challenge on Facebook, so if you’re not already a DMS fan, please like and join us! I want to hear about your progress!

Change your situation with a little drastic action

February 25, 2013 by Jana 10 Comments

This weekend, I cleaned house. Well, not literally because my house didn’t really need that kind of cleaning (okay, fine, it did but I was too busy renovating my new website that I acquired last week) but I did clear off and return almost every book I had sitting on my nightstand. The pile was way too big and every time I looked at it, I felt a panic attack brewing. It’s not a comfortable feeling.

I feel that my room, and my to-read pile, should be a calming influence, not one of extreme anxiety. I love to read but with 10 books beckoning me, I didn’t know where to start. Instead of following my own advice and starting with just one, I just left them all sitting there. I didn’t open a single book for a week. That includes the magazines I had and the books on my e-reader. For me to go an entire week without reading is a huge deal. But I couldn’t figure out a way to cope with the mess so I did what I do best—I ignored it and let it fester until I truly couldn’t take it anymore.

Then I took action and did something about it.

On Saturday, I put every book I had on my bed and sorted them into piles: work-related, nonfiction, and fiction. Then I compared what I had to my books to read Pinterest board to determine which ones I obligated myself to read and which ones were just stragglers I picked up along the way. Next, I made a list of those, separated out the work related books (on mentoring, blogging, and using Pinterest for marketing), put everything else in a bag and returned them all to the library. That included a movie I keep saying I’ll watch but probably never will (Inglorious Basterds, for those who are curious). I also paid my overdue fine (I have yet to conquer these. It’s absolutely atrocious) and gave myself a nice, clean fresh start.

While the action may seem extreme—after all, I could have just moved the pile of books to a different location and pulled them out one by one—it was necessary. I needed to clear the clutter, keep the important, relevant stuff, and stop feeling so overwhelmed. I needed to free my space and my mind so I could refocus on what’s important and get back to work. I needed to reclaim my soothing, relaxing space and stop feeling jittery and nervous about looking into my bedroom or confronting my nightstand. And, now that I’ve done that, what I’m left with is a few work related books and, instead of feeling the pressure of renewal dates and fines, I’m working through the books I’ve bought and have sat, neglected, on my bookshelf. Those have no deadlines or fines attached to them.

It’s a comforting feeling and I’m back to enjoying reading. And maybe one day, I’ll feel comfortable having a pile of unread books on my nightstand. I’ll look at it as a sense of enjoyment rather than dread. But for now, I’m okay with my decision to bring them all back to the library and pick them up again, one at a time, later in the year.

I’ve had to take similar drastic steps in my life. The most recently was in learning to manage my depression but, prior to that, it was in learning to deal with our debt and managing our money. In 2007, when my husband and I decided to focus on paying down debt, we took a number of drastic steps including:

Swearing off credit cards and using only cash.
Having a strict but revisable budget.
Forgoing things like cosmetic home repairs, buying new cars, going on vacation, and purchasing anything frivolous that could be obtained for free instead (like my beloved books).
Limiting birthday, anniversary, and other holiday spending.
Obtaining part-time jobs, with all of the money (and I mean all of the money) going towards debt repayment.
Eliminating friends who either didn’t support our choices or who encouraged us to keep spending money we didn’t have.

Handling all of that at once was excruciating. Giving up pretty much everything that had made our lives fun and enjoyable to that point absolutely sucked. But in order to secure our future, and our daughter’s future, we had to make those sacrifices. We had to redefine fun and enjoyable. We had to learn how to have a life without going into debt. We had to learn to live on what we had and, had we not done this, I probably wouldn’t know how to cook or be able to start my own business. The end definitely justified the means.

By taking those drastic measures and paying off our debt, we’ve removed much of the anxiety and trepidation from payday. We no longer possess an extensive list of creditors. We’ve been able to gradually introduce some of the removed items back into our lives, and let me tell you, the first time we booked a vacation because we could afford it felt damn good. Just like it’ll feel good the next time I can have more than one book on my nightstand.

Having to take such severe action in order to get aspects of my life straightened out isn’t exactly my first choice. It’s not my go-to choice either. But, after a number of failed attempts to control them in different ways, I’ve learned that the most serious action is the most effective one. By taking such a strong stand, it emphasizes the gravity of the situation and gives me incentive to work harder to regain control.

For me, control is a good, comforting feeling.

Readers, have you ever had to take drastic action to gain control over a situation or aspect of your life? How did it work out for you?

What Is Your Life Story?

February 22, 2013 by Jana 3 Comments

This is a guest post from my friend Benjamin Feldman, a Writer and Content Strategist for ReadyForZero. He writes about saving money and getting out of debt at the ReadyForZero blog. You can find him on Twitter @BWFeldman.

It was Fall of 2010, and I was restless. You can picture me sitting at my desk in front of a 14-inch computer monitor, staring at the screen. I don’t remember whether I was looking at an e-mail, a Legislative Bill Summary, a Committee Briefing, or a Floor Vote Tally. All I remember is that I knew something was wrong.

I was sitting inside my office, inside the Assembly wing, inside the California State Capitol Building in downtown Sacramento.

Up to that point, my life story was something like this: I had worked hard in high school to get accepted into college; when I got to college I became very interested in my Government and Public Policy classes and decided to choose that as my major. After graduating from college (and two years of grad school) I was able to get a job as a Legislative Assistant in the Capitol, working for a great Assembly member.

In many ways it was a dream come true. I felt very grateful. But why, then after two years working there did I feel like something was wrong?

Your Story Shapes Your Direction

The truth is, whatever life story you believe you’re living will shape the decisions you make and where you choose to go. It will also determine whether you feel happy with your current situation. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. But it’s important to recognize this so you can shape it in a positive way.

This is as relevant to your financial life as it is to any other aspect of your life. No matter what, we are constantly telling ourselves a story in our heads – essentially, we’re narrating our own lives. We might say “Now that I have my degree, it’s time to get a job my family will respect,” or “Now that I have a job, I need to buy all the things that successful people have.”

There are an infinite number of life stories we can tell ourselves. Some are positive; some are negative; and some are fuzzy.

I believe that training yourself to make your life story a positive and clear one is something that can help you find your true state of happiness. By proactively cultivating your life story, you can make it more likely that you get to a place that is fulfilling (in work, in love, in life, in finances, etc.).

Change Your Story to Get to a Better Place

In my case, as I walked home after work that day, I realized that even though my life story seemed to indicate that this job was perfect for me, it wasn’t.

But why not?

Well, for whatever reason it was not bringing out my passion. And as I thought about it more and more, I began to understand: I craved a different kind of work. I wanted to create something on a daily basis. I wanted to see the product of my work somewhere tangible. I wanted to use language and imagination more. I wanted to write.

After this understanding took hold, it immediately began to reshape the life story I was telling myself in my head. No longer was I continuing to repeat the story about my interest in government, which led to my two degrees, which led to my ‘dream job,’ which… was the end of the story. No! Instead, I was now starting to tell a new story.

The new story started with my love of writing (since high school) and continued through my education and government job (where I refined my writing ability) and ended… Well, it didn’t have an ending yet – and that was the best part!

Once I had the new story, I was suddenly much more positive and was ready to figure out how to reach the next step in my journey.

This can happen for you too – no matter if you are looking to improve your career story, your financial story, your love story, or any other story.

Start by reflecting on what your current story says and then figure out what aspects of the story are not working. If your current story leads you to spend money that you don’t have, identify what it is that is motivating that behavior. Then start changing the story to one that affirms and promotes the new direction you want to take.

When you start changing your story, you will hopefully see new ideas and new opportunities arise. Follow those and you will no doubt arrive at a more fulfilling and enjoyable place. After changing my own story I actively started looking for new jobs that would allow me to write. It took some time and some persistence, but I eventually happened upon a job listing for a Writer and Content Strategist. I was fortunate to get the job, and now I’m writing blog posts for a company that is helping people pay off their debt. I’m very thankful for how things turned out.

I hope my story may help you too! Let me know in the comments if you have had an experience like this yourself or if you have a question about my story.

The quick fix won’t solve the problem. You will.

Succeed like a 6 year old

June challenge: Use that sh&t up

Change your situation with a little drastic action

What Is Your Life Story?

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