Jana Says

Living life from cover to cover

12 things I learned about myself in Dallas

by Jana 11 Comments

I spent most of last week and weekend in Dallas at a blogger conference. Not because I blog about the topic, mind you, but because some of the work I do is with a foundation that helps the financial media community. And also friends. And drinks.

Despite the fact that I’ve attended this conference for each of its 7 years, this year was different for reasons that maybe don’t belong in this post (because they’re either way too personal or way too boring). However, since I am permanently on a mission to better understand myself, I did some reflections while my flight was delayed and those do belong in this post. So I’ll share them. 

  • New people and situations don’t necessarily scare the shit out of me. Certain TYPES of new people and situations scare the shit out of me
  • Public speaking is way outside my comfort zone but only because I prefer to be in the background. Not because I am a terrible public speaker
  • Cider gives me heartburn #oldladyproblems
  • Watching the World Series with people who love baseball like you do is spectacular
  • I am perfectly capable of functioning on a steady diet of vodka and sleep deprivation
  • Finding a place where you can be yourself 100% of the time, no matter how weird you might be, is my type of place
  • I can and will find bookworms and corral them into hour long conversations #booknerdsunite
  • I don’t believe in the single bullet theory #sorrydrkelly
  • Sightseeing makes me incredibly happy, particularly if there’s history involved
  • There are a lot of people doing a lot of amazing things and I’m thrilled to know some of them
  • My master’s degree was not entirely a waste of time and is actually relevant to my life now
  • I’m really bad at recapping trips

And now, here’s an eyeball statue that hangs out in Dallas for some reason unknown to me: 

 

P.S. While I did a bunch of pretty fun things, my favorite conference relevant event was sponsored by The Center for Financial Services Innovation. It involved working in randomly assigned teams to conduct financial transactions as an unbanked person. In the 7 years of attending FinCon, it was the most eye opening activity I’ve done. While my master’s is in Public Policy and many of the nonfiction books I read revolve around this types of issues, living it was something I’ll not soon forget. 

Weekly six-pack, 2017, v27

by Jana 13 Comments

I think this feature needs a new name. I don’t always have 6 things to talk about. But I am lazy and I like routine so who knows when a change will happen. If ever.

Reading. Caroline. It’s very tedious but not terrible enough to quit. Nothing new from anywhere but anxiously waiting to get to my NetGalley books.

Watching. Mindhunter. This show is incredibly well done and interesting but they really play up the serial killers hate women angle. It’s kind of annoying.

Feeling. Accomplished. The husband and I finished our couch to 5k training and I ran for 35 minutes. IN A ROW. My life is weird now.

Wondering. Why the fuck a kid who I have seen hit her dog with a newspaper would think I would ever EVER pay her to walk my dog. Also I have a child her age who can do it for free and I enjoy walking my dog myself. I commend her desire to make money but COME ON.

Loving. That Michael’s had Hanukkah decorations. It is incredibly hard to find anything for Hanukkah where I live, including menorah candles, so you can bet I spent money I shouldn’t have on some stuff.

Laughing.

So I probably won’t be around next week as I’ll be in Dallas but before that, we’ll be celebrating my husband’s 40th (it was on Tuesday) this weekend with food and drinks and beach time. Hope you all enjoy your weekend and week and I’ll see you when I get back!

My heart hurts

by Jana 8 Comments

My heart hurts. 

It hurts because there are way too many women sharing stories of sexual abuse, assault, and harassment. #metoo

It hurts because we have a president who is not only dividing this country on purpose but who is actively seeking to harm the vulnerable, sick, and poor. 

It hurts because Puerto Rico is still not receiving the aid it deserves and people are drinking contaminated water. But apparently racism is greater than providing basic needs to fellow citizens. 

It hurts because despite the fact that we had the worst mass shooting in US history less than 2 weeks ago, the conversation about gun control has ended. 

It hurts because October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month and it reminds me not only of the baby I lost but how many other families have lost babies as well. 

It hurts because I’m still sad about my Dobie’s unexpected passing. 

It hurts because of things I’m not comfortable sharing. 

And while I want my heart to stop hurting, I just don’t know how make it stop. So for now I’m just owning the hurt and the pain and the anger, knowing that it will let up at some point and I can move back into normal. Whatever my normal looks like now. Because that has yet to be decided. 

 

Weekly six-pack, 2017, v26

by Jana 10 Comments

Thank you all so much for your thoughts and comments on Dobie. I miss him so hard and am slowly easing back into normal life or whatever normal looks like now. We do plan to get another dog but it’s off the table until I return from Dallas which is actually better for all of us, Barkley included. And as far as rejoining the blogging world. I’m getting there.

In the meantime, here’s what my life looked like this week when I wasn’t crying.

Reading.American Fire by Monica Hesse. I planned to start Caroline but this one called me instead. Haven’t bothered to look at NetGalley or get anything from the library. Three year anniversary for Show Us Your Books is Tuesday and that means giveaway and prizes!

Watching. American Vandal. It’s a Netflix parody of true crime docs but it’s incredibly hilarious and well done and definitely stands on its own merit. I also started The Disappearance of Maura Murray. Fascinating shit, that case.

Listening. I’m trying to get into some new serial (not Serial) type podcasts and I found Small Town Horror which is okay but not my favorite. I have a couple of others that I’m looking forward to but if you know of any in the vein of Homecoming or Alice Isn’t Dead, send them my way, please.

Eating. Um, well, really nothing beyond basic sustenance. I don’t eat when I’m grieving (although I binge when I’m stressed) so I’ve been on a steady diet of coffee, cheese, and tortilla chips. If you have any recipes that might help bring back my appetite, please also send them my way. If they can be adapted into gluten free, all the better.

Raging. Watching the events in Las Vegas and the horror show of 45’s trip to Puerto Rico and the new abortion ban that passed the House and the lack of vote to reauthorize CHIP and now 9 million kids are uninsured unfold when you’re in a fog makes it hard to really process all that you’re seeing. Where I want to see red, and believe me I do, I just feel helpless instead. I CANNOT handle what the orange menace is doing to this country and to see people like Pitbull and Bethenny Frankel and Mark Cuban and Ricky Martin and others step in overwhelms me to the point of crying even more. And then there’s the Second Amendment. I’ve never really expressed my opinion on this in any forum but here goes. I have absolutely ZERO problem with the amendment itself. I have no problem with people owning guns for their own safety, protection, or simple amusement. You feel that you need a conceal and carry permit, have the fuck at it. There are thousands and thousands of responsible, normal gun owners in this country and it is their right to do so. HOWEVER. We have a serious fucking problem with mass shootings. We have a serious fucking problem with access to assault rifles and unhinged lunatics who procure them and the accessories needed to turn them into even bigger weapons of mass destruction. We have a serious fucking problems with gun control laws and regulations and an even more serious problem with the gun lobby. People are too afraid to lose a donor than to stand up and protect the rights of concert goers, movie goers, club goers, church goers, women attending exercise classes, people going to work, and KIDS WHO DID NOTHING ELSE BUT GO TO SCHOOL. Freedom of assembly is in the First Amendment and we have a raging problem of the power of the Second usurping the freedom guaranteed in the First.  Gun control and regulation is not taking away the right to own guns. It is limiting access to people who shouldn’t have them in the first place and adapting our laws to match the evolution of the weapons and accessories. Assault rifles in their current form weren’t a thing in the 1780s when the Constitution was written and I’m confident the Founding Fathers would be just fine with some modifications. We should all be. THE TIME TO TALK ABOUT IT WAS IN 1999 BUT NOW WILL DO, TOO. JUST HAVE THE FUCKING DISCUSSION.

Deciding. To run a bunch of 5Ks next year. I hate running but Dobie loved it and because of his heart, he never could do it as much as he wanted so for the next year, my husband and I are going to honor him by running when we can and in races that support causes we believe in.

I try to end these with something funny so

Have a great weekend! Wish me luck as I’m going shopping. I hate shopping.

Working titles

by Jana 15 Comments

Now that I’m 40 I think it might be time to write my memoir. After all, I have a few decades of experience to share along with some wisdom and knowledge and truth bombs (that’s the term the kids are using these days, right?).

But what to name it? I have a few working titles:

Where’d I Park My Car?: A Life in 50 Parking Lots

Inspiration: My Life Between Sneezes

Hiding in the Bathroom: 47 Ways to Get Some Damn Peace

I Conquered Laundry Mountain: Great Achievements of the 90s-Now

That’s Where That Went!: Things I’ve Found in My Bra

Sure, I Like Her (and Other Lies I’ve Told)

I’m Not a Joiner: Tips for Avoiding the PTA

Wear Those Pants All Week and Don’t Wash Your Hair: A Style Guide for Moms

Carpool Confessions

Cereal, Grilled Cheese, and Chips: A Weeknight Cookbook

What do you think? What would you name your memoir?

Connect with Me

Subscribe to Jana Says

Jana Says
© 2017 by Jana Says. All Rights Reserved.
Crafted with by sasspurrella designs.