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Let’s do the Thanksgiving shuffle!

November 19, 2013 by Jana 10 Comments

Back in my personal finance blogging days, I would play a game that I totally ripped off from my favorite morning show. I called it “Money Shuffle” and I would go through my iPod, pick the first 5 songs that came up and then relate a personal finance story to each song.

I have decided to resurrect that game. It might have something to do with the fact that I heard it on the radio this morning.

For this version, though, we’re talking about Thanksgiving. Because it’s next week. Also, it coincides with Hanukkah for the first time in about 47,000 years and won’t happen again for another 86,000 years. Or something like that.

I might be off a bit on the numbers.

But I’m not off on the fact that Thanksgiving is next week. It’s my favorite holiday, and it’s particularly my favorite holiday to host. I love cooking Thanksgiving foods, having my family in my house is delightful (I swear, there’s no sarcasm there. I really do like having them), and in my house, Thanksgiving remains the official start to the Christmas season. No buying anything Christmas in my house until Thanksgiving has passed.

Insert angry rant about too much focus on shopping and the fact that Thanksgiving is all but erased. Definitely a soapbox issue for me.

However, much like my family on Thanksgiving day, you’re here for the food. So we’ll focus on that. And the fact that we’re going to play a fun game. Thanksgiving shuffle.

I’ve selected 4 songs at random from my iPod and assigned a Thanksgiving food to each. I don’t necessarily have a recipe for all of them, but if you do, please share in the comments.

Here we go:

I Hate Everything About You by Three Days Grace–I give this honor to canned cranberry sauce. It has no business being on my Thanksgiving table except for the fact that one of my in-laws prefers it to my homemade kind and gets sort of upset when it’s not there. But it grosses me out. The solid, ringed, gelatinous mass screams “I’m vile! Please don’t touch me!” yet there it sits, a revolting blob among the deliciousness of everything else. All for one person. You’re welcome.

Burn It To the Ground by Nickelback–Fine. Judge me for having Canada’s other shame on my iPod but any song that can work in the phrase “bat shit crazy” is okay by me. The epicurean honor for this song goes to deep fried turkey. Or, more accurately, the reason I will not let my husband deep fry a turkey. He’s accident prone. Even more so than me. And I’m pretty sure that if he attempted to deep fry a turkey, something would catch fire and burn completely to the ground. Even the fire department deserves a day off, husband. So no deep fried turkey for you.

Get Stoned by Hinder–Okay. PSA. Don’t get stoned before Thanksgiving dinner. You will probably eat everything at the table and therefore anger everyone else since there will be nothing left. That said, I totally get high off of stuffing. It’s my favorite Thanksgiving food, particularly the way I make it, which is my own version of Rachael Ray’s stuffin’ muffins. These are the reason I immediately change into yoga pants after dinner and also maybe just thinking about them is making me a little hungry. I swear I’m not really stoned.

Goodbye Earl by by the Dixie Chicks–A song about two women poisoning one of their abusive husbands and then hiding his body. I got nothing. But here’s my recipe for sweet potatoes. It’s my Nanny’s recipe and it’s delicious. Warning: it makes a tremendous amount of food. If you’re not hosting 75 people or an NFL team, half it:

Nanny’s Sweet Potato Pie

Ingredients:

6 large cans Bruce’s yams or sweet potatoes
1 package dark brown sugar
2 jars marshmallow fluff
4 tsp cinnamon
2 sticks sweet butter or unsalted margarine
2 20 oz cans crushed pineapple in juice
1 package mini-marshmallows

Directions:

Drain and mash the yams or sweet potatoes, first by hand then with an electric mixer (I use my Kitchen Aid stand-up mixer).
Melt the butter or margarine, and combine with sugar and cinnamon.
Mix butter, sugar and cinnamon with the fluff. Add to mashed yams and mix well with electric mixture to make it creamy in texture.
Add the crushed pineapple with some of the juice. Mix well by hand.
Spray a 13×9 inch pan with cooking spray and pour the mixture in (leave a little room for expansion).
Bake at 350° for 30-45 minutes, until the top begins to look slightly solid and the rest is bubbling.
Add the mini-marshmallows to the top and cook until the marshmallow melt slightly and brown, but are not burned.

3 reasons why I clean (even though I don’t want to)

November 14, 2013 by Jana 9 Comments

To know me is to know that I loathe housework. As in, I’d rather do pretty much anything instead of clean or do laundry or cook or basically do anything pertaining to keeping my house in order. I’m not a neat freak by nature (despite years of my father trying to turn me into one) and keeping my house clean takes work. Work that I’d rather not do. Because I feel that my energy is better spent reading or playing with my dogs or hunting the mouse that’s moved into my house and is currently taunting me with his Houdini-like escape escapades.

Pretty much anything but domestic work.

However, it has to get done. I can’t afford to hire staff (believe me, I’ve looked into it) so that leaves only me to do all the work. An in addition to the fact that I not only can’t stand it, I’m not very good at it either. You should have seen the fight I had with my vacuum a few weeks ago.

Long story short, the vacuum won and I spent the rest of the afternoon on the couch.

But my house (and my child. Let’s not forget about her) needs to be clean. And I often have to take a moment to remind myself of the reasons why I have to get it done.

My anxiety

I’ve talked before about how my anxiety levels rise when I’m surrounded by clutter. Something about seeing the mess and chaos causes my mind to start thinking that way, too. Then depression starts to set in and it gets even uglier and I’m unproductive and sad and it’s just unpleasant for everyone around me. So, to ward it off, I organize and clean the areas of the house I’m in the most daily (kitchen, living room, my office) and at least once a week, I go through the bedrooms and the bathrooms. I don’t like it but the feeling of calm that I get when I’m done is worth the effort.

Country living

You know how I live in the country now? And you know how when you live in the country you have to contend with bugs and rodents and spiders and all kinds of disgusting things that are attracted to dirt and garbage? Well, I dislike rodents and spiders more than I dislike cleaning so I do my best to keep things as tidy as possible to prevent those fuckers from seizing control of my house (you know the mouse I mentioned earlier? We might be locked in a battle but I will prevail). Cleaning is probably the cheapest form of pest control there is. So I’m all for it.

My child

My daughter did not ask to be here. As such, I have a responsibility to provide her with a clean home and clean clothes on a daily basis. I couldn’t live with myself if she came home from school to a dirty, hoarder-like environment and went to school with smelly, stained, and filthy clothes. Whenever I don’t feel like doing her laundry or vacuuming her room, I think of the part in Big Daddy where Julian’s teacher tells Sonny that Julian is the smelly kid in class. I don’t want that. So, I force myself to do the chores I need to do to prevent that from happening (and I don’t just newspaper to clean things up). Also, it sets a good example for her that this is how you maintain a house (note: my husband helps, too. I’m not the only one who cleans. For instance, he cleans the bathrooms. But that is born from an argument we had 13 years ago and I’m really, really stubborn).

Please don’t be mistaken that I live in a house that’s at the cleanliness level of say, a hospital or museum. It’s not that clean. I mean, compared to a number of houses I’ve been in as a probation officer, it’s immaculate, but in reality, it’s just your average house of average cleanliness. But it works for me.

And that’s what’s really important.

Very Interesting Blogger Interview #1: Tonya from Budget and the Beach

November 11, 2013 by Jana 15 Comments

One of my favorite parts of blogging is getting to know other bloggers. Whether it’s through conversations on Twitter, Skype, or meeting them in person at FinCon, learning about them as the “people behind the blogs” makes reading their sites that much more personal and enjoyable.

I’m also amazed at just how interesting other bloggers are. And I want you guys to learn about them, too. Which is why I’ve started a new series–The Very Interesting Bloggers Interviews (I’m awesome at names, aren’t I?). Every other week or so, I’ll bring you a brief, 5 question interview with a different blogger who has a really different, exciting or interesting hobby.

Up first is one of my good friends, Tonya, from Budget and the Beach and It Started with Lip Gloss. I had the pleasure of hanging out with her at FinCon13. She’s really awesome, a great person to talk to and a fellow Friday Night Lights addict. She also plays beach volleyball, so I thought I’d ask her about that:

Me: So I’ve been told that one of your passions–besides Friday Night Lights–is beach volleyball. Can you tell us about that?

Tonya: Well it’s no FNL but it’s a close second. 🙂 Beach volleyball is one of the most fun sports I’ve ever played, and it’s a really social sport too. I’ve met so many amazing friends through beach volleyball, and have a hard time imagining a time where I’ll ever stop playing, unless I move from Southern California. It’s one of the things that keeps me here, despite the high cost of living.

I think that should go on a brochure.

Me: When did you start playing? Have you ever played professionally?

Tonya: I started playing five years ago after my boyfriend broke up with me, and I needed something to fill the “empty space.” I first signed up for an indoor class, but quickly found out about beach volleyball classes, and have never looked back. I like that there are only two of you on the court (of course you can play with more) so it gives you a lot of responsibility. And moving in the sand is a great form of conditioning.

I’ve never played professionally. Even if I had played indoor in high school and college, I’m just too short (5’4).

I’m 5’3″ so I get it. I avoided tall people sports at all costs.

Me: Do you do it for fun, to earn money, or both? If you do earn money doing it, at what point did you decide to make the switch from hobby to income earning opportunity?

Tonya: I do it for fun now. I used to play in tournaments where you could earn prizes (I’ve only won two volleyballs in my “career” as a player), but I gave that up a couple years ago because it just wasn’t for me.

I used to help coach some recreational classes to help out a friend, which is how I got started earning money as a coach. Now I teach private lessons, which is a great source of extra income.

I’m sure it’s also fun. I was texting her a few days ago while she was teaching and the extent of the lesson at the point was to tell her student to run. I want someone to pay me to tell them to run.

Me: Tell us about your favorite beach volleyball memory (and it cannot include that scene in Top Gun).

Tonya: Ha ha! That’s a great scene but the fact that they show Tom Cruise jumping above the net is truly hilarious given his height. Agreed.

My favorite memory is from a beach volleyball tournament. The California Beach Volleyball Association (CBVA) classifies their women’s tournaments into A, AA, AAA, and Open Division (Open being the hardest) categories. If you have an AAA rating, you can’t play down, but if you have no rating or an A rating, you can always play up.

I had an A rating and I was going to play in a AA tournament with my friend Mocha. Up until that day, I had never won a single game in a AA tournament. I didn’t tell Mocha until we were in the car on the way there. My goal was to win one game. When I got there I found out I was in the same pool as two women who had beat me in every single tournament. It was frustrating. Not only did we win one game, but we won every game (4 games) in our pool, beating my nemesis in a glorious finish. I even have a picture where you can see the joy on my face, and the look of defeat on their faces. We ended up losing in the playoffs, but it’s still my favorite moment in beach volleyball.

Beating a nemesis is a glorious finish is ALWAYS a great memory.

Me: What advice would you give someone who’s thinking about picking up volleyball as either a hobby or a paying job?

Tonya: Well it’s hard to make money, even as a professional volleyball player. It’s not like the NBA, and only top names like Kerri Walsh and Misty May make decent money playing. But if you’re thinking about playing recreationally, my best advice would be to sign up for a class. Not only will you develop skills, but you will meet people that you can set up games outside of class with.

If you’re serious about getting good, do interval training. It’s the best way to condition your body for that type of sport.

Great advice, Tonya! Thanks so much for playing along!

4 tips for staying productive with depression

November 6, 2013 by Jana 14 Comments

For most of us, we feel like we’ve had a good, productive day if, at the end of the day, we’ve worked, socialized, cooked, exercised, read, made progress on a project, helped the kids with homework or some combination of the above. We’re told that we need to do more in a day than we can handle because, let’s face it, busy is the new normal. We’re expected to be busy. And when we’re not, we feel like there’s something wrong with us. Like we’re doing something we’re not supposed to. Like we’re breaking the rules.

Like we’re a failure.

If you’re anything like me, that feeling of failure is a huge trigger for depression. And that depression means it is almost impossible to be busy. You can’t bring yourself to do anything, never mind anything extra. You don’t care if the laundry piles up or the house is dusty or if you miss deadlines at work. It makes no difference if you forget to bake something for your kid’s school party or if you bail on plans with your friends.

And you certainly don’t give a crap that you don’t give a crap. However, on the days you can muster emotion, you actually do care that you’re not engaging in life. You do care that you’re productivity has hit zero.

You want it to get better because you know that life can’t–and often doesn’t–stop for depression. There are a number of us who have to keep plodding through when all we want to do is hibernate. So how can we get it done when we just don’t want to?

Here are a few tips:

Redefine “productive”. The traditional definition of productive cannot apply when you’re in a depression. Which is why, when you’re feeling that way, you need to redefine what productive means to you. Scale back your expectations for yourself, acknowledge what you can do and…
Forgive yourself for what you can’t do. It’s hard to have any energy left for cooking or going to the gym or working on side projects when it takes all your energy to shower and get dressed. It’s okay not to be able to do everything you might normally be able to do, and you need to remind yourself of that. Depression is an asshole and it thrives on taking from us what we value. Usually that’s self-esteem and motivation. Understanding that makes it easier to extend the forgiveness we need to get through.
Ignore your to-do list. It’s okay to ignore the big, major projects, plans and goals you’ve set for yourself when getting out of bed is deserving of a parade. If you’re like me, you set ambitious goals that, when you’re depressed, only make you feel worse. Put the list away until you feel better. If you really need one, create one with things like brush teeth. Shower. Put on clean clothes. Small, easily achievable tasks. Also…
I want to punch everyone that does this.
Stay away from Facebook. Particularly those friends who consistently boast about their to-do lists and all they accomplish in a day. While we know that most of it is image construction, it doesn’t make it any less difficult to read and it certainly doesn’t help you feel productive. And seeing those posts makes you feel like you need to compete in a race you’re not healthy enough to participate, driving you further into your depression instead of finding a way out.

A bonus tip: if you’re feeling particularly bad on a given day, and you’re trying to get things done yet you find that a) what you’re doing is crap or b) working is actually making you feel worse, then do this: stop. Just stop what you’re doing. Put it down, put it away, turn it off. If you work out of the house and can leave your job for the rest of the day, do it. Leave. Get away from the task and the environment.

Then do something that makes you feel good. Doesn’t matter what it is. Because sometimes, stopping and switching gears is the best gift we can give ourselves and our productivity.

November challenge: Wake Up Early

November 2, 2013 by Jana 9 Comments

I do not like to get up early. There is nothing about losing an hour of sleep that I find enjoyable.

However.

I’ve learned that when I do get up early, I’m more productive. I use that hour or so to knock out several tasks like responding to emails, writing a blog post, doing a load of laundry or anything else that I feel inspired to tackle. Getting those tasks out of the way early in the morning starts a sort of productivity snowball for the rest of the day and, by the time my child is in bed, I’m able to actually relax. I can watch Sons of Anarchy or something else without stress. I can read without that nagging “do this instead” feeling. I can go to sleep knowing that I got shit done.

Basically, I can breathe.

Which is why, for the month of November, I’m challenging myself–and you–to get up early. Not every day because that’s just crazy talk. But I’d like for us to agree to wake up early a few mornings per week and use that time to be productive. What you do during that time is up to you. I’ll mainly be working on my NaNoWriMo book. You can use that time to read blogs, paint your nails, exercise, work on a side gig, write that eBook you’ve been thinking about, put dinner in the crock put or just sit, meditate, and relish the silence.

It doesn’t really make a difference what you do. I just want us to use that time productively so we can lessen some of our daily burdens. We can stop saying “if I only had the time, I’d…” We can eliminate the excuses. We can take more control of our time and make it feel like we’ve added that extra hour to our day we always wish for.

It’s basically putting us in charge of our lives instead of the other way around.

So, if you’re going to participate, feel free to leave a comment, grab the button for your site, and tell everyone what you’re doing. If that’s not your style, you can choose to do it privately, too. I understand not wanting to talk about every detail of your life (because although I overshare here, I’m very private in real life). Regardless of which avenue you choose, I hope you’ll join the discussion on Facebook. We’ll be using that as our month-long support and accountability system.

See you in the morning!

Let’s do the Thanksgiving shuffle!

3 reasons why I clean (even though I don’t want to)

Very Interesting Blogger Interview #1: Tonya from Budget and the Beach

4 tips for staying productive with depression

November challenge: Wake Up Early

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