Life Archives - Page 68 of 96

Before and after babies: A future’s parent’s perspective

September 17, 2014 by Jana 22 Comments

This is a guest post from my friend Kristen who is hilarious and smart and she’s originally from Australia and her posts about living there are some of my favorite to read. They make me feel cultured and in the know, which will come in handy when I visit there one day. Also, her use of gifs is truly an art form, which you’ll see in just a bit.

Hi everyone! First I want to thank the lovely, gorgeous and fabulous
Jana for having me at her place today, I’m Kristen and I blog about a whole lot
of nothing over at See You In A Porridge. I love reading Jana’s blog because she writes so well, she’s honest and hilarious. Also because she comes across as exactly the way that I want to be as a parent – one day.

Since I am not there yet, I thought I would share some things I like about my life before vs after babies.

Before babies:

Me time. Everyone needs some time to chillax, be by themselves and do
their own thing. I love that time.

Travel. Because travelling with kids blows, right? I can do all sorts of
crazy and adventurous things without kids.

Naps. Need I say more?

Eat out whenever I want. Cause I got money to burn, yo. And I don’t have
to worry about what I’m putting into my body because no-one else is getting
nutrients from it.

Have a spotless house. Because I have all the time in the world.

Continue being my impatient, selfish self. I don’t have to
take care of anyone! I don’t need anyone to take care of me!

Love my cats more than most humans. What can I say, they are really
adorable and amazing kitties.

Be totally awesome.

After babies:

Me time. Babies start taking care of themselves after a few months, right?

Travel. Ah, who I am I kidding, I’m not crazy and adventurous, though I do love
to travel. And I will continue to do so, just pop the baby in the suitcase, no
dramas.

Naps. Babies take naps, right? Easy peasy.

Eat out whenever I want. Because it always tastes better when someone
else cooks it. And why not waste money, right?

Have a spotless house. Again with the time, what else do I have to do?

Continue being my impatient, selfish self. If I can take care
of myself, I can totally take care of a kid.

Love my cats more than most humans. Um, calm down I didn’t say more than my baby. But seriously, my cats
take up a lot of my heart and time, and they are more fun than real people.

Be totally awesome. Like supermom.

Ok, so most of this was a little tongue in cheek and I’m not trying to
imply that my life won’t change, or that I know I will be ‘so different’ and I
know what kind of parent I’ll be, because you really what do know, anyway. I can only hope I’ll be as awesome as Jana! (Jana’s note: she will be! I don’t set that high of a standard).

Linking up with Liz and Kathy:

10 things to know before visiting the South

September 15, 2014 by Jana 17 Comments

This is the first in a series of guest posts from some of my very kind, generous, and talented blogger friends who are covering for me while I’m at a blog conference in New Orleans, where my blog mentoring program is putting on a live session the final day of the conference. While I plan to do some sightseeing and maybe a little drinking, I will actually be doing real stuff, too!

First up is my good friend Nadine, who blogs at Life by Nadine Lynn. Her use of ecards is spectacular, and she makes me laugh almost every single day. She loves beer even more than I do and I wish I lived closer to her so we could hang out. Saying that is probably the only time I’ve ever said I wish I could visit Alabama.

Since Jana is in New Orleans, I thought I should give her some pointers on “southern things” from a Yankee living in the South’s prospective (Jana’s note: I live in Delaware, which thinks it’s the South but really it’s not. Someone needs to tell the natives that).

1. Y’all – This should be obvious, but y’all is plural for you all or you guys. All y’all means a large group. I myself still cannot say this word properly, but I don’t cringe when I hear it anymore. I sort of like it. Shhhh don’t tell anyone!

2. Bless Your Heart – Southerner’s find it rather rude and inappropriate to call people stupid or idiots. Instead, they say phrases like “Oh, bless your heart!” Really it is like saying, “fuck you…you are dumb”.

3. College Football – It doesn’t matter if you don’t give a damn about college football, you MUST pick a team. The rivalries down here are real y’all! And the SEC is the only conference as far as we are concerned. I mean, we have our own network!

4. Sweet Tea – When you order your tea in the south, you are going to get it sweet unless you specify un-sweet. Don’t you dare say how gross sugar water tea is; there will be none of that nonsense! Also while we are on the topic, instead of pop or soda….everything is Coke.

5. BBQ – The south is very serious about their BBQ. BBQ is not created equal. Don’t even try to compare Carolina BBQ to Memphis BBQ to Alabama BBQ. IT’S NOT THE SAME!

6. Mason Jars – Everything tastes better in a mason jar. Don’t question the logic! They can even be used as décor too!

7. Initials/Monograms – They are on everything!

8. Attire – Down here, you sort of are on display all the time. Everywhere you go you want to consider it a fashion show. You should see all the dresses that get worn to football games. What happened to team sweatshirts? Not down south!

9. Mosquitos – They are the size of a small bird down here. Don’t be alarmed. Actually, be very alarmed!

10. Humidity – It might only be in the 80’s or 90’s, but with the humidity at 34958869058%….let’s just say you have no clue what hot means yet!

Well Jana, I hope you have an awesome time in New Orleans! It sounds like you might need a passport to travel below the Mason Dixon line, but you indeed do not!

Make sure you follow Nadine on Twitter and on Instagram

Friday favorites, volume 19

September 12, 2014 by Jana 27 Comments

This is my last full week at home before I leave for my blog conference in New Orleans, where my mentoring program is putting on a live session. And the word of the week is–stressed! There is still so much to do, along with a big announcement about my mentoring program that might or might not involve Jenn from Business, Life, & Design (hint: it does. Also, I got to meet her on Tuesday because FINALLY there is another Delaware blogger and talking to her proves once again that in Delaware, you are only one degree removed from everyone else). We’ll be sharing that on Tuesday so make sure you look for that. I also have some fabulous guest posts planned from some of my favorite bloggers and I can’t wait for you guys to read their posts.

And now, what you’re here for. Friday favorites.

Song

So, in 2012, I won NaNoWriMo and I’ve been working on that book. However, I don’t know that I want to keep going with it but rather, start a new one. I’d lie if I didn’t say that this song, one of my all-time favorites, is an inspiration for the new story I’ve been drafting in my head. I know I’m usually a hard rock gal, but I love me some Better Than Ezra, too. And that’s whose song this is. Hope you enjoy it! They’re also from New Orleans and that’s totally not an intentional characteristics for this week’s pick but it’s fitting.

Frugal find

Any time I can buy clothes with a gift card, it’s my favorite purchase. I bought some desperately needed T-shirts at Old Navy with a gift card and also revisited MAC for another back to MAC purchase. Free stuff FTW!!!

Book/TV thing

I signed up for Amazon Prime earlier this year and was pretty unimpressed with it. Until. HBO put their shows in the inventory. My husband and I started watching Deadwood together and I started The Wire by myself. #obsessed Have you watched The Wire? If not, you need to. I don’t care that I’m coming into it years after it ended. It’s still an amazing show, and since it started in like 2002 or something, it’s fun reminisce about technology and fashion and all that good stuff.

As far as my favorite book thing, I didn’t come across any new or exciting book news this week. But I did find this post about authors who found success after 50 so I still have hope.

Internet reads

Considering I’ve been elbow deep in conference preparation, I haven’t had much time to read anything other than a book at night before bed or while I’m waiting for my daughter in the school pick-up line but I did come across this accurate depiction of weird fights that all married couples have, this interview with Rick Springfield talking about his depression (also, his memoir is great so far, and he definitely doesn’t shy away from discussion depression), and this pretty cool list of amazing TV characters that weren’t supposed to last (hey, there, Jesse Pinkman and Sophia Petrillo. I’m so glad you survived!)

Quote

Funnies

I want him as my pet

Humane torture. I like it.

I will be saying this A LOT next week

Sorry I’m a little light on the funny this week. It’s been that kind of week.

Enjoy your weekend! I’m hoping for rain and a cancellation of a football game so I can binge watch The Wire some more.

Linking up with Amanda

Save

Maybe I suck at this stuff

September 10, 2014 by Jana 27 Comments

So last week my girl Nadine posted about all the things she’s not good at and it was awesome because I totally had a similar post planned for this week and now we have proof that we’re both super cool and have great ideas. Make sure you check out her post, too, so you can see that she and I also have very similar things that we both cannot do.

Like:

Draw. I cannot draw anything except flowers and anchors and bubble letters. You might be wondering “anchors? What the hell, Jana?” But there’s a good reason. My sorority symbol is an anchor so when I was in college and got bored in class, I’d draw anchors. It’s not classy but it kept me awake.

Tie shoes with the “loop, swoop, and pull”. Bunny ears for life!!! #noshame

Kiss ass. It is not in my genetic makeup to do such a thing. I’m a terrible liar so if I were to kiss your ass, you’d know right away that I’m full of shit. I wear every emotion on my face, too, and that doesn’t help when you’re trying to blow smoke up someone’s ass. (My vivid imagination is running away with me now and I can’t make it stop but I don’t know how else to word that sentence.)

Nadine and I differ in some of the things we can’t do. Like:

Math. It’s pretty much the worst subject ever and when I took AP calculus senior year of high school, I brought the class average down so much, it wasn’t even funny (how I wound up in calculus is it’s own insane story). My grades were unreal. Yet I somehow passed the class, got a 3 on the AP test, and vowed never to do anything with math ever again.

Whistle. This is something I’ve been working on forever and it’s really a failure at this point. For some of us, it’s not as easy as “put your lips together and blow”. And yes, I’m a 12 year old and think the double entendre in that is hilarious.

Remember anything important if I don’t write it down. My brain loves to remember phone number and birthdays of people I haven’t spoken to in 25 years or lyrics to songs I haven’t heard in 10 years, but remember to sign a permission slip or make an appointment? Nope. And forget the grocery store. We’d be eating cardboard if I went to the store without a list.

Sports. Have you ever met someone so unathletic you look at them with pity when they try to engage in any sort of sport? No? Well, now you have. I’m a terribly uncoordinated and I have slow reflexes and I’m short and pretty much every characteristic of an unathletic person. I’ll watch sports. Just don’t ask me to play.

Cleaning my car. Good grief, do I loathe this task. I don’t so much mind running it through a car wash but cleaning the inside? Not really for me. And I drive so much with the child and my dogs that 10 minutes after I’d clean it, it’d be disgusting again. Confession: sometimes I don’t mind when the ice in a takeout cup leaks because I sort of use the melted ice to clean the cupholders. #noshame

There you have it. All the things I’m no good at. At this point in my life, it doesn’t really bother me to suck at those things because I’m pretty good at what matters.

Except laundry. I’m really bad at that, too.

How about you? What aren’t you good at?

Linking up with Kathy and Liz

Save

It’s my life

September 8, 2014 by Jana 24 Comments

(If you sing the title like the Bon Jovi song, it's way better)

I've told you guys before that I am not above ~~stealing~~ borrowing a good idea. And after I saw these types of posts from Kenzie and Liz, I figured, hey? Why not do one of these for myself? Admittedly, I am not as interesting as those ladies, and pretty much every day looks the same for me (weekends, too, which is why I never do weekend recaps. I could write one and then just recycle it every Monday. Easy writing for me. Boring reading for you) but I thought it might be fun to answer the question “what exactly it is you do here?”

It's pretty simple.

First, my alarm goes off at 6:15. I check the phone repeatedly to make sure it's not a mistake and then lay in bed while my husband storms the bathroom first. I figure since he leaves the house to go to work, I can graciously give him a 5 minute head start on the day. He finishes whatever it is he does in there, I move a dog out of the way, and get up.

Then I get dressed, hopefully remember to put on deodorant, walk down to the living room and do this:

I want to hate Shawn T. Yet, I don't. So starting my day with him isn't so bad and I know my workout is done for the day and that's nice. Then, while still dripping with sweat, I go to my kitchen, grab a quick breakfast and pack my child's lunch. Then, I brave her room, stepping over mountains of whatever she had been playing with the night before because cleaning up requests are laughed at and ignored, and wake her up. She usually looks pretty comfortable but I don't want to go to jail for not sending her to school so I rouse her anyway.

I then spend the next hour fighting with my child, trying to make her understand that school does not, in fact, start when she wants it to but has an actual predetermined start time and we have to be there for it. I sometimes think a cattle prod would help but then think, better not. So I settle for ~~yelling~~ encouraging her loudly and emphatically.

We make it to school, I drop her off, run any errands I might have, then come home to my bunker. That's what I call my office. I spend the next 5-6 hours ~~reading the internet~~ working and alternately thinking what I do is amazing and worth the effort or hating myself for even trying and questioning every decision I make.

It's where the magic happens. And by magic, I mean self doubt.

I eat sometime during those hours, let the dogs out in the backyard so I can get my required yard time, and think about doing laundry or cleaning my house. Those last two almost never happen.

Around 3:00, I do a quick clean up of my kitchen, put the dogs on their leashes for a short walk, and we all pile into the car to get my daughter from school.

We get to the school and, depending on the day, can wait anywhere from 10-20 minutes (30 on a really bad day) to retrieve my daughter. The parent pickup line is a special kind of hell and I do it because it is actually easier than fighting with her to get on the bus, which she hates and is terrified of. And, since I know you're wondering, this is the view from the line. I think I was particularly close up that day.

We get home, she has a snack and watches some TV, I somehow manage to get things done but I can't tell you what because the hour between when we get home and I start making dinner is a time warp and the hour disappears. Since this is the third time I've mentioned eating, here's my kitchen. The amount of time I spend in here really is ridiculous.

We don't really have a set time for dinner because 3 nights a week (and one weekend morning/afternoon), we go here for cheer practice. The gym is up a very long, poorly paved driveway and through a gravelly, dusty parking lot. But isn't the entrance pretty?

After cheer, I wage another battle to get her in bed by a reasonable bedtime since waking her in the morning takes more patience than I have, especially if she's tired, but she takes 87 minute showers. It's a fine line between wanting her to enjoy showering and telling her to hurry the fuck up. After she's sufficiently clean and her bathroom is sufficiently flooded, we have storytime and finally, she's in bed.

Once she's asleep, I get to enjoy adult TV time. That is either exceptionally pleasant or exceptionally unpleasant, depending on the day of the week as my husband and I don't always agree on what constitutes good TV. We do agree occasionally and that's nice. Depending on the day, we shut the TV off at either 10 or 11, walk the dogs a final time, and go to bed. I typically read for about 20 minutes before I can fall asleep (sometimes longer if it's a good book). When I'm done reading, I shuffle the dogs around so I can get comfortable enough to sleep. Then I do.

Quick note: in my house, it's a race to fall asleep first because my husband snores and if I have to listen to it while I am trying to sleep, I get ragey and want to smother him. Smothering is illegal so I settle for a subtle jab in the arm and an angry “stop snoring!” It usually works and we all sleep well after that.

And that, my friends, is my exciting life. I suppose it could be worse.

What does your average day look like? Would you like to join me in a share your space linkup where we take pictures of our desks and talk about what's on it and why?

Before and after babies: A future’s parent’s perspective

10 things to know before visiting the South

Friday favorites, volume 19

Maybe I suck at this stuff

It’s my life

Connect with Me

Subscribe to Jana Says