Life Archives - Page 51 of 96

#confessions

May 6, 2015 by Jana 43 Comments

It occurred to me that it’s been a while since I’ve done a confessions post so I decided to do one today. I know how much you all like when I bare my soul about all the little things that make me..well, me.

Enjoy.

I have a soapbox post all planned but I’m publishing it on Monday instead because Mondays are good for ranting. #crypticbloggerinformation

My neighbors who I can’t stand are no longer living in their house. It’s up for sheriff’s sale. #ishouldfeelsorryforthembutidont

I went to Disney two weeks ago and have yet to blog about it or share pictures. I don’t think I will. But I will share that the most common thought that went through my mind the entire time we were there was “just how many people have my fat ass in the background of their pictures?” #imnotabackdrop #ormaybeiam

Speaking of Disney, I really need to upload and print pictures from our trip so I can redo the frames in our living room. There’s no real reason I haven’t done it yet except for the fact that I’m #lazy and I despise picking out which ones to buy. #whyisitsodifficult

Have I mentioned that I have an Amazon gift card and I can’t figure out what to buy? I keep changing the items in my cart because I’m afraid of buyer’s remorse. #thestruggleisreal

I’m tired of watching every penny that comes and goes. I know we’re doing it for a good reason but holy hell, enough is enough. I just want to splurge on some things. #budgetexhaustion

I’m not enjoying this season of Mad Men and I’m happy that it’s ending. #thereisaidit

School is over in 4 weeks. The last day of school is the day before my birthday. #worstbirthdaypresentever

On that subject, I know it’s customary to give end of year teacher gifts but honestly, I’m not a huge fan of my daughter’s teacher and I don’t really feel like doing anything for her. #butiwill #dowhatsright

I’ll admit that I’m fascinated with the Duggars and while I don’t agree with their opinions on most social issues, I respect their right to do and say whatever they want. But the Kardashian-like coverage that a)they’ve been getting and b)bringing upon themselves is making me seriously question their motives. #hypocrisymuch

The Mets and Orioles are playing each other this week. I’m a Mets fan and my husband is an Orioles fan. I told him we’re not friends until Friday and my daughter said she’s ready to hear lots of smack talk and cursing. #werenotbadparents #really

I promised my daughter a week ago I’d make her brownie bites but I haven’t done it yet because I don’t feel like turning on the oven and also, I’m confident I’ll wind up eating more of the batter than making actual brownies. #thisiswhyimfat

The other day, my husband said we need to buy a new hose attachment with a regulator on it. I told him I was naming it Warren G. #damnitfeelsgoodtobeagangsta

I totally sneak movie lines into conversations every single day. #ijustdidabove

Remember when I interviewed myself about my reading habits? I had planned to turn that into a series of interviews and then life shit all over me and it got derailed. But it’s back on track now so if you volunteered to be interviewed, check your email in the next week for a list of questions from me. If you didn’t volunteer but want to now, let me know so I can include you. #booknerdsunite

That’s all for now. What are you #confessing this week?

Linking up for #hashtaghumpday

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You like me! You really like me! At least I think you do…

May 4, 2015 by Jana 40 Comments

If you’re not reading Ali’s blog, you need to get on that. Pronto. She’s hysterical, her observations are dead on balls accurate, and she’s from Long Island so that means she has a special place in my heart (although I live in Delaware, I was born and raised on Long Island). Also, for some reason, she likes this little blog here. In fact, she likes it so much she nominated me for one of those fun blogging awards that go around.

As part of it, she asked me (and other bloggers) 10 questions. I’m going to answer them because why not. I’m also going to post my 10 questions at the end and nominate everyone who has a blog and wants to to answer.

What inspired you to start blogging? Believe it or not, this blog started out as a personal finance blog. I wanted to document our journey out of debt and how we were learning to manage our money and also, I love to write and needed an outlet for it. I eventually tired of writing about money all the time (and admittedly, I wasn’t very good at most of the time) and converted the blog to what you see now. Sorry.
What song do you ABSOLUTELY hate? “Losing My Religion” by R.E.M. That song makes me want to stick sharp objects in my ears.
Have you ever written a blog post that you regret posting? Absolutely, and I’ve since deleted them. There are a few more that need to go because they’re basically shit and not at all reflective of what I want here. But I haven’t done it yet because #lazyblogger
Has your blog ever faced any negativity & if so how did you handle it? If my blog has faced negativity, it’s been behind my back. I’ve been fortunate so far that no one has been openly hostile to my face or in the comments or via hate mail, but I’ve also never had a post go viral so maybe my experience is skewed. I did have a couple of posts featured on The Consumerist which received a few not so nice comments but I just chalked that up to their readers not having a sense of humor.
Who inspires you? This is probably the most difficult question for me to answer. If I’m going the celebrity route, it’s Mindy Kaling, Melissa McCarthy, Amy Poehler…all the ladies you’d expect to see on a list. If I’m going the people I know in real life, I’m going to say I’m inspired by anyone I know–specifically blogger friends–who manage to enjoy life and be all around awesome. Mostly, I’m inspired by people who live their lives for themselves and not for the purpose of impressing anyone else.
What’s in your purse right now? My wallet, phone, crayons and paper, pens, a nail file, few lip balms, hand lotion, my all purpose bag featuring band aids, ibuprofen, tweezers, gauze, etc., antibacterial hand soap, tissues, baby wipes, and my keys. I have a typical mom purse.
What website are you DYING to get featured on or write for, if any? Book Riot, HuffPo, Hello Giggles, and Buzzfeed. Blogger standards, I suppose.
What’s your favorite room in your house/apartment? I’d have to say my living room. It’s good for reading, Netflix binging, napping, and it’s next to the kitchen for convenient snacking.
If there was a movie about your life, who would play you? I can’t think of any short, fat brown haired, brown eyed actresses except for fellow Long Islander Nikki Blonksy but I’m not sure she’s acting any more so maybe Ellen Page even though she’s not fat. I can lose weight. Or she can wear a fat suit. Definitely one of those.
What’s your most embarrassing moment? I don’t know that I have one that’s so mortifying it sticks out in any way. I did have an encounter once with the then-dean of my entire university and after he told me he worked for the school, I asked him what he did. Like I’m supposed to know what he looks like. The husband never lets me forget it and says I should be embarrassed by it. I’m really not but we’ll roll with that one.

Now it’s your turn. Feel free to answer all or some or none of the questions below.

What websites or blog do you read every single day?
If you could attend one awards show, which one would it be?
What is one thing you are deathly afraid of?
What book do you always recommend to people?
Open a playlist on any device you have. Hit shuffle. What are the first 5 songs that come up?
When and where do you blog (as in, at what time of day and in what location)?
What song is your personal anthem?
If you were selected to give a TED Talk, what would be your topic?
What’s your favorite quote or saying?
What is a song, movie, book, or TV show that always makes you cry?

Bonus question: Do you think Mighty Mouse could beat up Superman?

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This Week In…: Volume 14 or 15

May 1, 2015 by Jana 31 Comments

It’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these but now is as good of a time as any to get it started again. One step closer towards feeling normal, right?

This week in baseball…I figured I’d start off with this since that’s where I stole the idea for the post name from. Anyway. So. You all know about the Baltimore riots. I’m not going to rant about those but I will say that it was quite odd watching the Orioles game on Wednesday where they had an unprecedented zero fans in the stands. I can only imagine the emotions for the players, knowing why the fans couldn’t be there. But at least this guy was funny about it:

This week in reading…Next Show Us Your Books linkup is on May 12 and you better believe I have some opinions on The Year of Reading Dangerously, which is the book I trudged through this week. Working on (still) The One Hundred Year Old Man Who Climbed Out the Window and Disappeared and beginning True Story: Murder, Memoir, and Mea Culpa.

This week in TV watching…Husband and I finally began watching House of Cards (or as we call it, House of Kevin Spacey. Not to be confused with House of Don Cheadle). Love. It. That is all.

This week in things I don’t give a shit about…the royal baby. The NFL draft. Patrick Dempsey’s character being killed off of Grey’s Anatomy. The fact that my neighbor who I never see or speak to had twins.

This week in internet reading…I have not been spending a ton of time browsing the interwebs lately but I did read an fascinating in-depth investigative story on Buzzfeed, A Murder at La Casa Green and I highly recommend checking it out. It’s long, 4 parts, but worth the time spent. I also loved this post from Scary Mommy on being an unapologetic lazy parent and this one about the first female ref hired by the NFL. I might not care about the draft but that’s pretty awesome news.

This week in funnies…

Have a great weekend, friends! I’ll be doing two of my least favorite things, gardening and cleaning out the garage. Yay for me. But I’ll see you back here on Monday when I respond to the questions the hilarious and snarky Ali has for me.

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And then there was sadness

April 27, 2015 by Jana 30 Comments

On April 4, I found out I was pregnant.

On April 15, I miscarried.

It’s a strange thing, to have your heart full and broken in the span of 2 weeks.

The thing of it is, I was never supposed to be able to get pregnant again on my own. With this pregnancy, we defied the odds!

And then we became a statistic.

Members of a club we never wanted to join.

Miscarriage grief is unlike any other. Because, unlike most other deaths, and it is a death, there’s not necessarily a cause. There isn’t anyone or anything to blame, and there’s no identifiable cause. It’s just something that happens. And without something or someone to blame, it becomes that much harder to comprehend. You want to understand why or how. And you simply can’t.

And then it becomes your dirty little secret. You don’t want to tell anyone because you fear how they’ll look at you or what they’ll say or that they’ll start treating you differently. Because you’ve now somehow become broken or faulty. Now there’s something wrong with you. You’ve become less than.

Less than what, I don’t know. But you feel less than.

And that’s not even the hardest part. The hardest part is having to continue to live your life. Having to continue to live your normal, regular life paying bills and washing dishes and going to work and folding laundry and taking care of those around you who are still alive. To say it’s painful to go about your normal life when a literal part of you is gone is an understatement. You have to go on, though, because life has to go on.

Even if you don’t want it to. And you won’t feel like you want it to. You don’t feel like life will be normal ever again. But every day it does get a little easier. You’ll cry a little less. You’ll be able to eat. You’ll be able to laugh. You’ll have moments where you forget it happened. Then you’ll feel guilty that you forgot or you laughed or didn’t cry. That’s all okay.

Own your guilt.

But then let it go.

Because feeling guilty won’t help you heal. And that’s what needs to happen. You need to heal. It’ll probably take a long time. No one expects you to move on in a few days. Take as long as you need to heal.

But allow yourself to heal.

As for me, everything is still fresh and every day brings a new trigger. I’m still perpetually sad. I’m still working on granting myself permission to heal. I’m still working on looking in the mirror and not seeing swollen, red eyes. I’m still working on forgiving myself and God and whoever else I lashed out at when it happened. I’m still working on letting my husband help me, and I’m working on helping him and our daughter through their grief. I’ve got a long way to go, we all do, but I know eventually, we’ll be okay.

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One map, two stories

April 13, 2015 by Jana 17 Comments

I loved Kristin’s post where she shared her map of states she’s lived in, visited, or driven through. In fact, I loved it so much I’ve decided to share mine, which actually tells two stories: where I’ve been and where I still need to go.

Let’s have a look:

Now let’s break it down.

I grew up on Long Island, went to college (and currently live) in Delaware, spent 6 glorious summers and one not so glorious year living in various parts of Pennsylvania so the fact that almost the whole East Coast, specifically the mid-Atlantic, is filled in shouldn’t be a surprise. I do need to finish visiting New England and although Maine isn’t filled in, I think maybe I might have been there at some point. I can’t remember so I left it out. Fun fact: my high school has graduated a number of notable alumni including Natalie Portman, Judd Apatow, and Idina Menzel. I don’t know any of them.

The western states are covered mostly due to a 6 week tour I took in high school. It started in Seattle, went up through the Canadian Rockies, and came down through Idaho, Wyoming, Montana, California, Arizona, Nevada, Utah, and ended in Colorado. I got to see a number of amazing sites including the Grand Canyon, Bryce Canyon, the Grand Tetons, Yellowstone, and Yosemite. I’ve also visited California and Colorado as an adult. Very different experiences.

The rest of the states like Michigan, Texas, Kentucky, Missouri, Louisiana, Wisconsin, and Illinois were the result of family trips, college visits, or blogging or work conferences. We actually flew to Texas a few weeks after 9/11 and the plane was so empty flying home they let all 8 of us travelling sit in first class. Free upgrade FTW!!! It’s also the only time I’ve flown first class.

For whatever reason, I’ve missed most of the midwest and deep south. It’s not that I’ve purposefully avoided them, it’s just never been a priority to go there. However. Since one of my life goals is to visit every state, when I plan my cross country trip, I know which ones are mandatory to visit so if you live in those states, you need to let me know what I absolutely have to see when I visit your state.

And Alaska and Hawaii will happen, too, because I just really want to go there.

For those counting, I’ve visited 28 states. Not too shabby. But still room for improvement.

How about you guys? What does your states visited map look like?

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#confessions

You like me! You really like me! At least I think you do…

This Week In…: Volume 14 or 15

And then there was sadness

One map, two stories

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