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A not at all complete list of songs that make me happy

May 18, 2015 by Jana 34 Comments

bob marleyIt’s no secret that the last month has been particularly hard on me. I’m desperately trying hard not to fall back into depression which is more difficult than it sounds. Some days I’m more successful than others and one thing I’ve learned battling this for so many years, it’s that the busier and more distracted I am, the easier it is to stave off the inevitable. I also use different methods for escape and coping. Books are definitely the main one. TV shows, projects, and playing with my dogs are other ones. So is music.

Music is as important to me as books but for different reasons. Books immerse me in someone else’s life. Music is what feelings sound like (I forget where I first heard that quote but it’s essentially perfect). And the best part about music is that just the simple act of listening to one song can have an immediate impact on how I feel. And lately, I’ve been needing songs that make me feel happy because even that 4 minutes of happiness makes it easier to get through the day (I also have song lists for other emotions but that’s another discussion).

So I comprised a list of songs that, once I hear the first few notes, instantly lift my mood:

  • “Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard” and “You Can Call Me Al” by Paul Simon
  • “Love and Memories” by O.A.R.
  • “On the Dark Side” from the Eddie and the Cruisers soundtrack
  • “Footloose” by Kenny Loggins
  • “It’s All Been Done” by The Barenaked Ladies
  • “Paradise by the Dashboard” Light by Meatloaf
  • “Subdivisions” by Rush
  • “Jesus of Suburbia”, “Longview”, “Minority”, and “Warning” by Green Day
  • “Maybe” by Sick Puppies
  • “Ocean Avenue” by Yellowcard
  • “Lola Montez” by Volbeat
  • “For the Movies” by Buckcherry
  • “Do Right” by Jimmie’s Chicken Shack
  • “All Mixed Up” by 311
  • “Sometimes a Fantasy” by Billy Joel
  • “Shut Up and Dance” by Walk the Moon

This is by no means an exhaustive list. These are just the ones that pop into my head first when I think about the songs that make me happy. I probably should get around to making this a full Spotify playlist sometime because some days are bound to be so bad I’ll need it.

I tried to come up with some profound way to end this post but instead, I’ll let this quote do it for me.

power of music

What songs are on your list? Which ones would you recommend I add?

 

 

 

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: Entertainment, lists, music

This week in…:Volume 17

May 15, 2015 by Jana 14 Comments

this week

This week in adulting…I left my full-time job just about 3 years ago. I finally, just this week, got around to calling the pension office to find out my options regarding my contributions. Still no will but one step at a time, amirite?

This week in cooking…I made whole wheat peanut butter bread. YOU GUYS. It is unbelievably delicious and next time, you can bet I’ll be adding handful or more of chocolate chips. It was crazy easy, too. Peanut butter, flour, baking powder, some sugar, and milk. All things I always have on hand. My daughter had hers with some honey on it. You can also add jam, jelly, Nutella, anything else you feel might work. This is the recipe I used if you want to make it for yourself.

This week in reading…In addition to True Story: Murder, Memoir, Mea Culpa, I started Saving Francesca plus Pioneer Girl: The Annotated Biography by Laura Ingalls Wilder and Some Luck by Jane Smiley were procured. I have a hell of a reading month ahead of me, especially when you add in all the books I already have). I also think my reading is contagious because the even the husband has two books on his nightstand.

This week in TV…THE FIRST TRAILER FOR THE NEW MUPPETS SHOW WAS RELEASED!!! Yes, I’m screaming, and I’m only slightly sorry about it. For those who are new or who might not know, I am a Muppets fanatic (seriously. Last year, for our 10th wedding anniversary, the husband got me a vintage Muppets lunchbox and it was better than jewelry) so the announcement that ABC was considering an new Muppets show made me giddy. Then they said it was definite and I finally have a show to look forward to this fall (it’ll air Tuesdays at 8PM).

This week in things I don’t give a shit about…American Idol being canceled. I think it’s way overdue, tbh. Anything related to The Bachelor/Bachelorette. There’s something else, too, but I care so little about it I can’t even remember what it was.

This week in things that are awesome…Even though I’m a Mets fan, I can still appreciate when another team does something amazing. It’s why I fell in love with Hank the Ballpark Dog last year and this week, I learned that the San Diego Padres, every year, renew the minor league contract of a brain injured player so he can qualify for health insurance. We hear so much about the crappy actions of athletes and teams, we should pass it on when they do something like this.

This week in internet reads…Did you guys read Alyssa’s post on why blogging is stupid? No? Go read it now then come back. It’s okay. I’ll wait. Now that you’re back, you need to check out both parts to the NYT investigative piece, The Price of Nice Nails (the second half examines the health and medical issues faced by manicurists). It’s extremely eye opening and I read a follow up piece that Governor Cuomo has ordered emergency measures to combat the poor wages and conditions in nail salons in NY. As someone just like this, Elite Daily’s piece, 10 Things People Tough on the Outside but Soft on the Inside Wish You Knew resonated with me. Oh, and in case you missed it, check out my guest post for Erin that’s all about the supreme badassery of Dolly Parton.

This week in funnies…not paying bills slinkies smiling
Have a great weekend everyone! I think I’m going to a local orchard’s strawberry festival on Saturday and then visiting with our old neighbors (we finally get to meet their baby!) on Sunday. It’s a whole lot of plans for a homebody like me but it should be fun. Looking forward to seeing you guys back here on Monday with a topic TBD.

 

 

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: Entertainment, favorites, reading, weekly wrap-up

#countrythoughts

May 13, 2015 by Jana 20 Comments

Confession: I’m a suburban girl, born and raised. Then I spent most of my adult life living in the suburbs. And now I live in the country. Sort of. It’s hard to describe because Delaware is a weird place. We don’t exactly have a big city (Wilmington is the closest we come and let’s face it, it’s really Philly lite) and anything “below the canal” as we call it is considered rural. True story. It’s how we were able to get a USDA backed mortgage, only available for rural areas. And I live across the street, literally, from a farm so even though my house is in a neighborhood that’s technically a golf course community (another very convoluted description), we’re in the country.

It’s not as ideal as it sounds.

I mean, it’s better than the suburbs. Clean air, less neighbors and congestion, and open spaces are a wonderful way of life. But let’s check out the rest by examining some actual thoughts I’ve had in the 2 years we’ve been here:

It’s so peaceful and quiet. Wait, was that a gunshot? What the fuck? Do we live that close to a deer blind? I feel they should have disclosed that before we bought the house. #gunfireisscarynomatterwhereyoulive

Also, when did I get to the point in my life that I purposefully live near a deer blind? Or even know what a deer blind is? #wedonthavethoseinsuburbia

Living across from a farm is great. OMG, what is that smell?? #burnsthenostrils

I need to let the dogs out to pee. But there’s a big, scary spider/bug hanging out on the screen door. What if it gets in the house? I can’t take that chance. #heldhostagebyinsects

No, I will not pull weeds in the front yard, husband. Why? #becausesnakesthatswhy

We need to go to town. We need things. #whatmaingallsusedtosay

My lawn looks like a horror movie. I wonder if this was the inspiration for Hitchcock’s “The Birds” #ihatebirds #whyaretheresodamnmany

If I wasn’t already indoorsy, the amount of bugs swarming around my backyard would make me that way. This amount of bugs bites is not normal. #imtiredofbeingitchy

The library has file drawers where people can donate or pick up seed packets. Of course it does. #onlyaincountrylibrary

I’m going to have to go back to using a landline and answering machine circa 1992 because Verizon doesn’t have the capacity to handle us country dwellers. If they did, I’d actually receive calls. #thankfullyistillgettexts

This conversation:

Me: Did you see the dead rabbit on our sidewalk by the mailbox this morning?

Husband: No, I drove by it.

Me: How did you drive by it?

Husband: I wasn’t paying attention.

Me: That’s disturbing. Well, it’s been moved onto our lawn by someone not me and a…piece was left on the sidewalk. You’re going to have to get rid of both sections when you get home because I’m not touching it. Carcass removal is your job. #deadanimalsarenotafunwaytostartyourday #thisdidnthappenintheoldhouse

Where you do you live? What are some thought you have about it?

 

Linking up for #hashtaghumpday

#Hashtaghumpday @ Life with Lolo

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: confessions, linkups

Gimme an S-T-O-P

May 11, 2015 by Jana 14 Comments

Disclaimer: Today, we rant. This is a long, imageless post about an issue that’s been bothering me for awhile. For those without the patience to trudge through it, the summary is this: I’m sick of the malicious bitchy dense cheerleader trope, why I’m tired of it, and why I think it needs to disappear.

I recently read some great articles about a particular movie trope, the manic pixie dream girl. The originator of the name has renounced the creation of the term, stating that it’s been misinterpreted to represent all women in movies who are quirky, cheerful and exist solely to liven up the lives of their male love interest. But the fact remains that those characters exist, whether we like it or not. Movie and TV execs aren’t going to let the trope fade away because it’s great entertainment.

I have much to say about that topic but today’s post isn’t about that. It’s about another trope that’s existed in entertainment for as long as I can remember and, contrary to the manic pixie dream girl, this one is as mean spirited and cruel as the characters it inhibits. And that trope is the one of shallow vindictive dumb cheerleader.

I’m not a TV or movie historian, and while I love watching shows and movies, I don’t know enough to tell you when the stereotype originated but I can tell you it’s been around since I can remember. It never bothered me before but now, as an adult and the parent of a cheerleader, I’m more tuned in to how they’re portrayed.

And that portrayal is just disgusting.

To start, there’s the group dynamic. Like other groups of friends on TV or in movies, there’s always stock characters. For this one, there’s always a beautiful, bitchy head cheerleader and her almost as pretty flunkies who are absolutely incapable of thinking for themselves and do everything they’re told to do, except for the one who’s definitely brainy but only useful to help formulate diabolical plans. Anyone who dares to speak out or disobey the captain is ostracized until she has to pull some horribly evil prank on someone the head cheerleader likes even less which she does because hurting someone else is better than being isolated. And make sure you’re not friends with anyone outside the squad! That’s cause for an automatic black ball.

Next, they’re almost always mean. Downright cruel. They’re master manipulators, specifically the cheerleader in charge, always able to get the adults to believe them as the victim, when in actuality, they’re the ones pulling vicious pranks, breaking up relationships, excluding others, and bringing classmates to tears. And, in congruence with that, they’re completely superficial, rude, and demeaning. Yes, in most cases, they ultimately get theirs in the end, but the next episode, it’s back to the same old bullshit.

Not only are they mean but almost every single one of them, save for the head cheerleader, is cartoonishly dumb. As in, can’t count to 10 or tie her shoes or differentiate between right and left. She’s incapable of doing well in school or even thinking for herself, which is why she so desperately needs the head cheerleader to tell her what to do and why she’s so susceptible, like adults, to being manipulated. There’s no depth to her AT ALL, she’s completely shallow, and has absolutely no goals for herself. She’s shown as content being a flunky except for the one very special episode where she realizes what head cheerleader is doing to her and seeks solace in the really not so bad “regular” kids.

And this may be me being a bit nitpicky, but honestly, why are they always, ALWAYS in their uniforms? Do people think that cheerleaders honestly walk around all the time in those polyester shirts and skirts? That they are so in love with the fact that they’re cheerleaders that they can’t ever wear anything else? That they have nothing else going for them so they have to perpetually show off being a cheerleader?

(This is where I’d like to write about body image and the perception that cheerleading is not a sport but those two topics are each a post of their own so I’m going to say this–do not use what you see at NFL games or on TV as a barometer. The “cheering” that the NFL or TV cheerleaders do is not at all indicative of actual competitive cheerleading nor is their appearance. I have been to my fair share of cheer competitions the last few years and I can tell you, the body types run the gamut. Which is awesome.)

You might be wondering why I let this bother me so much. It’s just entertainment, after all. And it’s a valid point. But as the mother of a young cheerleader, I find this portrayal damaging not only to my child’s self-esteem but also her peer’s perception of her and her perception of herself.

I don’t want her thinking she’s better than anyone who doesn’t cheer. Because she’s not. Cheerleading is an activity, it’s not a personality or social status or intelligence barometer or achievement or anything other than a sport. It doesn’t make her above (or below, because, let’s face it, there are plenty of negative things said about cheerleaders) anyone. Being a cheerleader doesn’t give her a free pass to bully, manipulate, and ridicule. Watching these shows, she might start to feel like wearing a bow and skirt means she’s entitled to say or do things other kids aren’t.  And if she sees it enough, she might start to believe there’s a truth to it.

The same with intelligence. When I was in Disney, cheerleading Worlds were taking place. We struck up a conversation with one of the girls and her mother and, while I forget what the girl said, it prompted her mother to question it and the girl to reply  “I’m not supposed to be smart. I’m a cheerleader.” Joke or not, I can’t imagine where she got that from. Based on my experience, cheerleaders are no more or less intelligent than anyone else but you’d never know it if you used these shows (and movies and books. Let’s not forget about them) as your frame of reference. Why must they be shown as vapid idiots who can’t form a coherent sentence? Okay, I get that it’s for comedic relief, but it’s so prevalent that there comes a point it stops being funny.

We’ve reached that point.

Now, I will admit there’s a certain arrogance that some cheerleaders carry around. But it’s no different than the arrogance displayed by other athletes or members of other clubs. Kids are allowed, and we should encourage them, to be proud of whatever they choose to do whether it’s drama or band or soccer or FFA or cheerleading. That pride helps build self-confidence. My child should never tell me that she feels like when she watches the shows she likes that they’re are making fun of her.

Because she did tell me that. And it broke my heart.

If we’re trying to teach a culture of tolerance and acceptance, wouldn’t it be a good idea to stop portraying cheerleaders as shallow moronic vindictive assholes and instead start creating characters who have depth, are intelligent and compassionate? Wouldn’t it make sense to stop picking on or creating characters who are stereotypes simply because it’s easy?

This trope is just as cruel and awful as the way cheerleaders are shown treating others. It’s damaging, it’s ugly, and it needs to change. Because the more these shows, which have more influence than most parents (myself included) would like to admit, perpetuate that stereotype, the harder it will be to make them go away.

/rant

 

P.S. I could have written this post about a number of stereotypes that get under my skin but I chose cheerleading because it’s personal. Let me be clear that I understand that many of the characters are hyperbole since it makes good TV. But it seriously wouldn’t hurt to dial it down a bit.

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: opinions, rants

This week in…: Volume 16

May 8, 2015 by Jana 12 Comments

this week

 

This week in things that make me go hmmm…So, I’m not picking on receptionists or schedulers in doctors’ offices because I know their jobs are busy and hectic and they’re human but twice this week I got phone calls from offices reminding me of appointments that I cancelled weeks ago. I’m wondering why it’s so difficult to delete something, especially a prenatal appointment for a woman that had a miscarriage. Yeah, that one hurt a little bit.

This week in forgetfulness…I did not link up with Steph, Stephanie, and Ashley for the Choose Your Own Adventure challenge. I did participate in April and I’m pleased to report that I succeeded in all my goals! I tracked our spending with Every Dollar, stayed on budget at the child’s cheer competition, and paid in cash for everything at Disney. I even bought these guys for myself AND we came home with some money in our pockets! May’s topic is reading so I’m opting out of participating. I can’t think of any specific reading goals I have that would set the month apart from other months.

Disney souvenirs. You can have your Mickey, Minnie, and princesses. I’ll take my Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker.

This week in trying new stuff…I signed up for the free trial of Kindle Unlimited. I’m not a huge fan of subscription services (although I do pay for Spotify every month) but my library is sometimes seriously lacking in availability of books I want to read and I can’t always get to them in the allotted time frame. And while I still prefer an actual book, my Kindle app is a fine substitute and I’m excited to give this a try. I’ll let you know if it’s worth the $9.99 per month.

This week in sports…My Mets won both of their games against the Orioles, keeping them in first place and me gloating to my husband.

This week in why does this shit keep happening…You might have seen a story floating around the internet about a 20 year old boy killed in a fight with another similarly aged boy and how the latter is not being charged with any crimes (none. At all) and there’s supposedly a cover up because the parents are or were police officers or some other vague details that just don’t make sense to me regarding why no charges are being filed. While I have dozens of things to say about this, I won’t. Because it happened where I live. Not just in my state. In my exact town. It’s literally too close to home to talk about. But if you need to discuss it, please do. What happened simply cannot go without punishment and accountability.

This week in other people’s lives…My friend Jess (who gave me permission to share this) is having some medical issues and is currently out of work. As a result, she spends mucho time at doctor’s appointments, including her therapist. Well, yesterday, after talking to yours truly on the phone for 2 hours, she arrived at her therapist’s office in pjs, sans bra, teeth and hair unbrushed, and basically looking like what you’d expect someone with medical and mental health issues to look like. And the best part is the fact that she gave zero fucks. Because sometimes, there are just no fucks to be given and you roll with it.

gives no fucks

This week in movies I’m not sure I want to see but probably will…Quentin Tarantino’s the Hateful Eight. Now, I’m not a big fan of Quentin’s movies as they’re often too bloody for me (says the woman obsessed with Sons of Anarchy) but Walton Goggins is in this one and I adore him. He’s freaking fantastic in everything I’ve ever seen him in so that might be the push I need to see this one. On Redbox, though. I’m not paying $21372 or whatever it costs for a movie ticket these days.

This week in reading…Thanks to the Show Us Your Books linkup, I have an amazing stack of books on my nightstand right now, one more on my Kindle, and then there are three that I found independent of the linkup (for those counting, that’s 8 books waiting to be read. I have 3 weeks to do. Challenge accepted, library!). I love all my fellow booknerds and cannot wait to see what you discuss on Tuesday (yes, THIS Tuesday. Get your posts ready!).

FullSizeRender (1)
I posted this on Instagram the other day. #sorrynotsorry for the duplicate.

This week in awesome…Amy Schumer’s parody of 12 Angry Men (and pretty much everything she’s done lately. If you can, try to find the episode that aired this sketch. I had trouble finding a link to the whole thing). Stephen Colbert funding any and all existing grant requests from South Carolina teachers on an education specific crowd funding site. These kick ass responses to questions in a sex-ed class. This amazing letter from Jennifer Weiner to her daughters.

This week in funnies…calorie refund math self-control awkward moment

That’s all she wrote this week. Happy Mother’s Day to anyone who’s celebrating whether it’s with your own kids of the two or four legged variety or if you have kids in heaven or if you’re celebrating your own mother (or father) or grandparent or whomever raised you or have a great Sunday if you’re not celebrating at all. See you back on Monday with my highly anticipated soapbox rant!

 

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: books, Entertainment, weekly wrap-up

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Jana

I'm Jana ...

A book reading, nail polish wearing, binge watching, music loving, dog owning, reluctant cheer mom.
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