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Hey, it’s okay to do my confessions on a Tuesday

January 26, 2016 by Jana 25 Comments

Do you guys know my friend Amber who blogs over at Airing My Laundry? If you don’t know her, you should go stop by and say hi. She likes to read, has a daughter basically the same age as mine (they’re both 3rd graders, but I think my child is like 3 months older than hers), and has an appreciation for the hotness of one John Krasinski.

See for yourself:

John-Krasinki

All fine criteria by my standards.

She also hosts a linkup on Tuesday that I’m joining in this week. It’s called “hey, it’s okay” and it’s basically a brain dump of all the things you should feel guilty or remorseful about but don’t because who has time for those kinds of feelings? Not me. Not right now, anyway, because I haven’t left my house in 4 days and the only feeling I have is insanity. And an even bigger hatred of pants.

And that’s all okay.

Airing My Dirty Laundry

 You know what else is okay?

Forcing my husband to binge watch Mr. Robot, including on Sunday night, knowing he had to get up for work the next morning at a reasonable time. Side note, Mr. Robot is really, REALLY good.

Feeling frustrated with the fact that my daughter has yet another day off of school because of the asshole snow and needing her to get out of my house so I can actually get shit done. Also because I want to watch TV during the day (Master of None isn’t going to watch itself) and I can’t because she watches the one TV that has Netflix.

Sitting on my ass doing essentially nothing while my husband shoveled aforementioned asshole snow. And walked the dogs.

Ringing my neighbor’s doorbell to let them know my cat hangs out in their backyard and, when invited in despite never having met them before, totally scoping out their house and feeling just a smidge better about my housekeeping skills. Which are complete shit, by the way. Which is also okay.

Cheating at Monopoly. Yes, I did it. But in my defense, the husband was playing like a huge dick and I have zero tolerance for that.

Drinking excessive amounts of tea and coffee because it’s fucking cold and I have a Keurig now and it’s just as fun as I imagined.

Watching Straight Outta Compton and realizing that yes, the Oscars completely shit the bed on their nominations this year both in terms of the lack of diversity and not recognizing people who deserve it in favor of people who seem to get nominations based on their names alone. #lookingatyouKateWinslet

Kicking ass at my friend Brynn’s frugality challenge. Even if I don’t win, I have definitely done a much better job of watching my wallet this month. And after the spending orgy known as December, I definitely needed it.

Cursing in basically every paragraph in this post. 

via GIPHY

P.S. I’m also linking up with the amazing Kathy and Nadine for their Humpday Confessions but that’s tomorrow.

More Coffee Less Talky

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: confessions, linkups

This week in…: the third one in 2016

January 22, 2016 by Jana 13 Comments

this week

  • Finished Fortune Smiles and mostly done with Bootstrapper. Still plugging away at Owen Meany but he and I have a date during this snowy weekend. Show Us Your Books is on February 9th and Steph and I have something special launching that day, too. *cue mystery music*
  • Watched DC’s Legends of Tomorrow because Wentworth Miller. That is all. Literally. That’s the only reason I watched it. Comic books shows and movies can suck it. Except this one. Because Wentworth Miller.
  • Dean Bakopoulos and his wife (who is also an author and whose book I am waiting for from the library because when your favorite author is married to an author, you read her books, too) followed me on Instagram so clearly we’re besties for life now. Oh? You don’t follow me? You want to be awesome like Dean B.? Go follow me then. I post a lot of dog and book pictures. You’ve been warned.
  • Didn’t cook anything new or exciting this week. Probably won’t over the weekend either because snow makes me even lazier (if that’s possible).
  • RIP Glenn Frey. It’s making me sad how many artists are dying right now so I’m pleading with you, Billy Joel, all the members of Rush, and a few others whose names are escaping my head right now: be careful out there. PLEASE.
  • Rant and prolific use of the “f” word ahead: Dear sick fucks who think it’s funny to send robocalls with bomb threats to elementary schools, What the fuck is wrong with you? Seriously? Kids? What the hell did they do to you? They’re just doing what they’re supposed to be doing which is going to school and learning. How fucking dare you make them scared to be in one of the few places they should feel 100% safe. How dare you put that stress on teachers and parents. How dare you ever make a 9 year old cry on her couch, not wanting to go to school because she’s terrified something might happen to her. I don’t know what your motivation is, you fucking cowards, but knock it the fuck off. It’s not funny or crafty or even remotely amusing. It’s also a fucking felony. I hope you enjoy prison when you’re caught, you pieces of shit, and I hope that the terror you feel locked in a cell is even remotely close to what you’re doing to these kids. Because THAT would be justice.
  • Speaking of justice, you know I had to bring up Making a Murderer again, right? Well, here’s a great piece in the New Yorker about how it went wrong (it’s an interesting perspective) and trust me on the next one, a video interview with Ken Kratz. Take 8 minutes and watch it. You will NOT be sorry.
  • Internet reads not about MAM: 80 books every person should read, a list from Esquire magazine that they published only in response to the backlash they received for their first list, 80 books every man should read. It’s a men’s magazine so while the original list might have lacked diversity, it went for their target audience. I get it. This list of the most anticipated nonfiction books of 2016. As a nonfiction fan, I will be all over some of them. Especially the one by Tig Notaro. And one more bookish link for you, this weird one from Book Riot from someone who seems to be attempting to enjoy short stories by making herself read them (this topic is a post unto itself). I’ve been reading short stories lately and they are hit or miss but you must put Nickolas Butler’s Beneath the Bonfire on your TBR even if you don’t like short stories that much because really, you just need to be reading his books.
  • Funnies: alone time hairstyle FullSizeRender (32) 7BF3B8D3-03A4-4FA4-AD6E-3107F7525F47

Have a great weekend, guys! I’ll be snowed into my house, working on some things and reading and napping and dogsitting our favorite dachshund who thankfully gets along with our dogs. See you on Tuesday!

 

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: books, Entertainment, favorites, reading, weekly wrap-up

Life Skills 101: The shit you really need

January 21, 2016 by Jana 20 Comments

I saw this picture on Facebook the other day (before I continue, let me give a plug to my friend Tanya who wrote this great post on why she quit Facebook which, if I’m being honest, should also be on this upcoming list because FB):

We can debate the merits of this list all day long and why some of them make no sense being compared to each other. For instance, the cost of having a baby vs. cost of having an education? Um, they’re not mutually exclusive. You can do both (unless they’re targeting this list at high schoolers who are considering or accidentally having a baby in which case maybe we need to add something like “how to properly use birth control” or “how to properly care for an infant’ to this list which, let’s face it, should also apply to adults). How about “do your taxes”? Great! If they’re simple. If not, “how to find an accountant that won’t screw you and knows what she’s doing” should be on that list. “Change your own oil”? How about jump start a dead battery? Or check your fluids levels? I feel like that’s more practical because it’s not that hard to find someone to change your oil for you and also, if you don’t have the tools or the space, or even a car, then why the fuck do you need that skill?

So I decided to tweak the list a bit. Just for fun. And also practical reasons because kids, here’s what you really need:

  • Doing your own laundry. It’s easier than you think, even if it’s a pain.
  • Having food with friends and putting your phone away. It’s really possible.
  • Hiding a hangover from your boss. It’s also possible.
  • Remembering birthdays, anniversaries, and events without Facebook.
  • Reading a map. Seriously, your phone might not always work. You might get lost. Maps help.
  • Job searching using traditional means and social media (and how to behave and dress for an interview). See also: conducting yourself properly at a job, picking health insurance
  • Finding free food (and books and entertainment) because if you’re balancing your checkbook, you’ll be saddened by your budget and finding free shit is the best skill you’ll have. See also: using coupons
  • Time management. Also known as fitting in side hustling, showering, exercising, reading, binge watching, working, and sleeping all in one day
  • Navigating a parking lot (or Walmart) without uttering the words “fuck you, asshole”
  • Negotiating anything–salary, a date, a traffic ticket because you’ll actually need to do all of these
  • A DIY manicure that doesn’t look DIY. See also: pedicure, smoky eye, curling your hair. Guys, you might not need these skills but you never know.
  • Napping anywhere at any time
  • Maximizing Netflix, Hulu and Amazon memberships.

We’ll stop there.

So my list is half serious, half not serious (but mostly serious). But the original list, as opposed to most of mine, serves a purpose. And that purpose is to educate kids with the life skills they need, beyond the academic skills, to be functioning, independent adults. It bothers me that many of the kids today are not being taught these essential skills, either in school or by their parents.

Because, and here’s the rant part of your day, it is not fully the job of schools to give kids these skills. Parents have to own up to their responsibility in forming independent adults. And to expect and require schools to do it places undue pressure on schools and teachers and while it’s easier to put the blame outside ourselves when our kids can’t do these things, it’s just unfair to place all the failings on the schools. Yes, schools should help. Programs like banking in school or home ec or even a “Life Skills 101” class would benefit the kids immensely but to have the schools shoulder all the burden is nonsense. That education needs to come from all sides.

Now, I get that not all parents are capable of teaching this stuff to their kids. And I am fully sympathetic to that which is why I agree that there needs to be some sort of life skills curriculum in schools. And maybe it needs to be a graduation requirement. But it should not at all be a substitute for the parents who can and are fully able to teach their kids basic adulting skills. So if the people who are advocating for this type of class are doing so to work in concert with the schools, or on behalf of the kids who aren’t getting it at home, then good for them. But if they’re doing it to benefit their own laziness, well, that’s just bullshit. /rant

What am I missing from my Life101 curriculum? 

 

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: adulting, finances, life skills

This week in…: 2016, second edition

January 15, 2016 by Jana 31 Comments

this week

  • Not much in the way of reading this week. Two books for work (for my Whole30/Paleo/healthy living/grain free friends, you might want to check out one of them, The Perfect Human Diet by CJ Hunt. There’s also a documentary with the same name and I think you can still rent it for $.99 on iTunes), still reading A Prayer for Owen Meany and Fortune Smiles, and I picked up Crank, Skippy Dies, and The Woman Whole Stole My Life. Thanks to everyone who joined us for Show Us Your Books and the next one is February 9.
  • Didn’t really watch anything except The State of the Union and The Golden Globes. I still need to finish Narcos and Master of None and catch up on some DVR’d stuff.
  • Speaking of The Golden Globes, what a strange week for entertainment news. First David Bowie, then Alan Rickman, and then the Oscar nominations were announced. With respect to Bowie, I was never a huge fan of his music but man, did I respect what he created. I loved his unapologetic individuality, being weird before people like Madonna and Lady Gaga made it trendy. And the fact that The Breakfast Club quotes one of his songs (“Changes”) in the beginning is pretty freaking cool. When I think of a music pioneer, I think of Bowie on that list. With respect to Rickman, he was just such a fabulous actor that it’s a shame we won’t get more of his movies. And with respect to the Oscars, MATT DAMON GOT A NOMINATION (you all know how I feel about him and also, can we talk about how funny it was, him trying to choke back laughter at Ricky Gervais’s joke at the expense of his BFF? This is only a small reason why I’ve been obsessed with him for 20+ years), and Room, The Martian, and The Big Short all got a bunch. Props to the authors that wrote those books because the authors never quite get the kudos they deserve. I think it’s also a testament to the fact that movie adaptations are getting better BUT the book is still (almost) always better than the movie.
  • Cooked some more delicious dishes. My favorite one (and my husband’s favorite, too, to which he said “we never need to bring in Chinese food ever again”) was this recipe for chicken with cashew nuts. I didn’t have some of the Paleo friendly ingredients so it was kind of a hybrid and I left out the tomato paste because I didn’t feel like opening the can but it was still amazing.
  • Can I brag about my sweet ass deal on K-Cups? I got a Keurig for Christmas from the in-laws and, as a result of registering the product, I got a coupon for buy two boxes, get two boxes free. Pretty good deal just on that, right? Well, I also had a coupon for $2 off each box so that was an additional $4 off. Which means on what should have been a $65-ish order, I spent $26. And I got free shipping. #frugalwin
  • Some sweet internet reads not about Making a Murderer (the list was small): Buzzfeed’s list of 25 things every adult should have (kudos to me for having most of them. I’M A REAL ADULT NOW BECAUSE BUZZFEED SAYS SO). My Dean Strang groupies might enjoy this Publishers Weekly interview with him (he writes books, too!). This insightful piece from Rolling Stone on the relevance of Westerns in today’s world. And, for my fellow parents of daughters, this one from Mashable on 7 skills to teach your daughter before she turns 13.
  • Funnies pulled from various internet and IG places and my texts because my friend Angie sends me all kinds of hilarious shit:

serial killer uncomfortable chairIMG_1714 FullSizeRender (31)

Three day weekend approaching. We’ll be on Long Island on Saturday for an early celebration of my dad and my nephew’s birthdays (and visiting my grandmother!) and then no plans for the remainder. I think I’ll enjoy that the most. Happy weekend! See you on Tuesday!

 

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: Entertainment, favorites, finances, food, reading, weekly wrap-up

Content creation vs. content consumption

January 14, 2016 by Jana 17 Comments

Over the last few days, the idea of content creation versus content consumption has popped up all over my Facebook feed. From people wondering how to balance the two to people espousing the benefits of one over the other, it seems to be a popular topic of conversation for some reason. And as both of creator and consumer of content, I have thoughts.

Which I’m going to share with you.

You’re welcome.

First, let’s talk about the thought that creating content is better than consuming it. It’s more satisfying, more fulfilling…whatever word you want to use to imply that it’s better to make your own stuff than to purchase, watch, read, listen to someone else’s. And on some level, I agree. There is something extremely gratifying about writing a blog post or short story or song and pushing it out into the world. The whole “I did it!” element fills you with confidence and pride and amazement that something creative can come from your brain and hands. And if other people like it, that’s even better!

That’s where the problem comes in. What if other people don’t like it? What if no one reads or listens? What if it just falls into the void? And how much effort should you put in to making sure it gets to an audience? If no one consumes it, should you keep creating it just for personal satisfaction?

That’s a lot of stress, especially for something that you might just be doing for fun. And if you’re doing it for fun, then by all means, give zero fucks about what people think and keep on keepin’ on. But if you’re doing it for another purpose–to build a business or platform or get noticed or whatever–and no one cares about it or notices it, is the effort and time you’re spending truly worth it just for that fleeting moment of pride? And if it’s not, do you quit or keep doing it just for fun (I say keep doing it for fun but it’s definitely a debatable opinion)?

See? There’s lots of questions to consider that make the whole “it’s better to create than consume” mantra not so straightforward. 

And, underlying all of that is the assumption that consuming content is inherently bad. It’s not. Yes, if you start using social media as an actual barometer for your life or you spend all your time on Pinterest or Lifehacker, trying to replicate every single idea, recipe, or life hack you come across, it’s a problem but reading books or blogs? Watching movies or TV shows or documentaries? Listening to music? NONE OF THAT IS BAD. There’s a reason people are fighting to keep arts and music in school and that is because it makes our world beautiful. We need it in our lives–and not just what we produce, but what others produce because no matter what you can do, there’s someone who can do something different or better or groundbreaking and to shut yourself out from exposure to that can be damaging to you not only as a person but as a content creator. Haven’t you ever felt inspired by a painting or piece of music or photo or book to do something of your own? I have. So why refrain from consuming it?

Not only that, sometimes it’s just satisfying to sit back and watch what someone else has done and simply appreciate the talent and time and effort that went in to making it. For example, I know when I walked out of a Broadway showing of “American Idiot” a few years ago, I was in awe of the entire production, songs and sets and singing and orchestra and costumes and lighting…all of it. I felt satisfied as a consumer of that art.

I think it’s totally fine to consume content and be content with what you’ve seen (or read or listened to) without having to feel an obligation to create.

It’s about balance. 

Which leads to my next point.

How much should you be creating versus consuming? There’s no right answer to this, unfortunately. It’s about making time for all of it in your life if that’s what you want. I know plenty of people who are simply consumers. There’s nothing wrong with that, just like there’s nothing wrong with what you like to watch or listen to (despite all the people telling you that reality shows or awards show or talk shows are shit and trash and ruining your brain. While it might have some element of truth, if mindless nonsense is what you enjoy, DO NOT LET ANYONE MAKE YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT IT). Some people do not feel compelled to put their talents into the world. And we have no business telling them that they’re wrong for making that choice

But for those of us who do like to create as well as consume, the best suggestion I can give you is to simply figure out whatever kind of schedule you can. Pick and choose what you watch or use your DVR to catch up on the weekends and use weeknights after work to work on your project. Or work on them while you’re watching TV. That’s okay, too. If you don’t like to work at night, see what you can do on your lunch break or in the morning or while dinner is in the oven. Set aside a block of time on Saturday or Tuesday nights and put all your focus on your creation into those hours.

The same goes for what you’re creating. Maybe only work on one project at a time. Don’t overwhelm yourself with projects. If you have too many ideas, keep a list. Check them off one at a time. Find a collaborator to help if need be.

I could go on but for your sake I’ll stop with my summary point. Which is that it doesn’t have to be an all or nothing situation. You can create, you can consume. There’s time for it all, if you make the time, and both are equally, if differently, satisfying.

Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

P.S. There are dozens of posts and articles debating this topic. One of the ones that resonated the most for me was this one from Medium, which explores how to mindfully consume content. It’s an important point.

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Filed Under: Life Tagged With: opinions, rants

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Jana

I'm Jana ...

A book reading, nail polish wearing, binge watching, music loving, dog owning, reluctant cheer mom.
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